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glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Strategy.

I think we need to stop saying "I'm Gay". Remember, this is one of the most innovative, fresh, and funny forums on the internet, and endlessly repeating a catch phrase isn't living up to the standards we've established.

But, if you absolutely need to inform the world of your homosexuality, you can still do so. Just do it in an innovative and interesting way! Here are some examples of ways to announce you're gayness:

1. Academic:
"I feel that the hegemonic narratives of heterosexual fulfillment are yet another way of the Western metaphysical tradition to reduce human experiences to neat and orderly patterns that can not capture the fullness of my queer, subversive Being-as-Such."

2. tumblr: "I am a flushed demiromantic powerbottom muscletwink genderfluid queer, and am also a Time Lord otherkin"

3. Topical: "Despite being a third string center averaging less than 2 points a game, I have the most popular jersey in the NBA"

4. Indirect: "I am a Republican Senator who believes in protecting the sanctity of our traditional family values."

5. Vulgar: "I like to gobble on cockmeat and guzzle the balljuice"

6. Poetic: "The chiseled physique of a strong and virile male causes my heart to palpitate in anticipation of his strong embrace, a feeling of excitement that can only be surpassed by the ecstasy of feeling every crease of his manhood pushing against my body's most tender region, filling me up in an emotional bond that those who deny the rightness of our love can never comprehend"

7. Make up a poem or rhyme!:
"If you ask me if I want it hetero
I would say heck no
Rather be in a federal prison
Getting full of jism
Morning noon and night
I don't wanna see the light
At the end of the tunnel
Rather I wanna be pummeled
Like a pommel horse
And of course its gotta be by men
Who have the strength to burst my hymen
Leave me messy like New Orleans after Katrina
Hot dudes show me what is between your legs
I will drink it like doing a keg stand
Just take my legs and
Move them apart, show me your art
Of male on male loving,
With the shoving and pushing
Then I will drink your cream like a Pershing"

These are just a few ideas to expand our repertoire. Please, don't be afraid to challenge yourself and grow by finding new ways to express yourself.

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Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008



Don We Now
Apr 18, 2005

For those of you who don't habla espanola, "El Poptart" is Spanish for.... The Poptart.



i'm gay

Smoremaster
Aug 5, 2009

That would be an ecumenical matter.


im gay

ItBurns
Jul 24, 2007

Bitches love my tool time

i'm gay

cock hero flux
Apr 17, 2011


I am gay.

TOOT BOOT
May 25, 2010



ur gay

Kelfeftaf
Sep 9, 2011


glowing-fish posted:

Remember, this is one of the most innovative, fresh, and funny forums on the internet.

Is it? I've been trying to find a better one to jump ship to since I got here.

killaer
Aug 4, 2007
No.

Dude...you are...

Mutation
Jun 21, 2007

MTV MTV MTV


8. write that exact op

turdriver
May 31, 2014

by XyloJW


im gay haha owned op

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

Can you int with all the colors of the wind?


Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005



Effort to funny ratio is off the charts.

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Strategy.

Mutation posted:

8. write that exact op

I am actually 180% heterosexual, I am just interested in improving the quality of posting here.

Runaktla
Feb 21, 2007



I'm a ball juice gagging gay fag

Republican Vampire
Jun 2, 2007



glowing-fish posted:

I am actually 180% heterosexual, I am just interested in improving the quality of posting here.

p sure that loops back around to gay as gently caress op.

Pladdicus
Aug 13, 2010


good post OP, I hope gbs does its great comedy of doing the thing you said not to do and then empty quoting gas.

quality and entertaining

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Strategy.

Runaktla posted:

I'm a ball juice gagging gay fag

That is pretty good, but I think I already used "ball juice"? Try to think of a different way to write the same thing, like "sack snot".

aegof
Mar 2, 2011


glowing-fish posted:

I am actually 180% heterosexual, I am just interested in improving the quality of posting here.

be easier to cure cancer, more money in that too

circ dick soleil
Sep 26, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 24 days!


I'm Gay

Sweet Tea
Dec 25, 2012
STEAL ALL THE FARM

i've never said this before but holy poo poo i'm gayer than ever

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003

Let me guess. The surface of the Sun? Only dream I ever have. Every time I shut my eyes, it's always the same.


lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



okay i will

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



eDit: no i wont

super mario batali
Aug 1, 2013



I'm gay.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010
i hated your big dumb ugly macklemore av so i changed it

well cya

Urugay.

Jimong5
Oct 3, 2005

My life for Aiur

glowing-fish posted:

But, if you absolutely need to inform the world of your homosexuality, you can still do so. Just do it in an innovative and interesting way! Here are some examples of ways to announce you're gayness:

you are gayness.

Dieting Hippo
Jan 5, 2006

THIS IS NOT A PROPER DIET FOR A HIPPO



glowing-fish posted:

I think we need to stop saying "I'm Gay". Remember, this is one of the most innovative, fresh, and funny forums on the internet, and endlessly repeating a catch phrase isn't living up to the standards we've established.

But, if you absolutely need to inform the world of your homosexuality, you can still do so. Just do it in an innovative and interesting way! Here are some examples of ways to announce you're gayness:

1. Academic:
"I feel that the hegemonic narratives of heterosexual fulfillment are yet another way of the Western metaphysical tradition to reduce human experiences to neat and orderly patterns that can not capture the fullness of my queer, subversive Being-as-Such."

2. tumblr: "I am a flushed demiromantic powerbottom muscletwink genderfluid queer, and am also a Time Lord otherkin"

3. Topical: "Despite being a third string center averaging less than 2 points a game, I have the most popular jersey in the NBA"

4. Indirect: "I am a Republican Senator who believes in protecting the sanctity of our traditional family values."

5. Vulgar: "I like to gobble on cockmeat and guzzle the balljuice"

6. Poetic: "The chiseled physique of a strong and virile male causes my heart to palpitate in anticipation of his strong embrace, a feeling of excitement that can only be surpassed by the ecstasy of feeling every crease of his manhood pushing against my body's most tender region, filling me up in an emotional bond that those who deny the rightness of our love can never comprehend"

7. Make up a poem or rhyme!:
"If you ask me if I want it hetero
I would say heck no
Rather be in a federal prison
Getting full of jism
Morning noon and night
I don't wanna see the light
At the end of the tunnel
Rather I wanna be pummeled
Like a pommel horse
And of course its gotta be by men
Who have the strength to burst my hymen
Leave me messy like New Orleans after Katrina
Hot dudes show me what is between your legs
I will drink it like doing a keg stand
Just take my legs and
Move them apart, show me your art
Of male on male loving,
With the shoving and pushing
Then I will drink your cream like a Pershing"

These are just a few ideas to expand our repertoire. Please, don't be afraid to challenge yourself and grow by finding new ways to express yourself.

same

Kelfeftaf
Sep 9, 2011


I think you should resign as GBS board therapist. Work on a board where there's at least some hope.

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Strategy.

Kelfeftaf posted:

I think you should resign

Have you ever thought that "resign" is an autoantonym? It can mean to continue in a job, and to quit a job! I am going to imagine you meant the first one!

Tautologicus
Oct 3, 2013


you cannot stop me, you can only make me gayer

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006


We are gay

hemophilia
Dec 28, 2006

My Blood Doesn't Clot


it has lost its power as a punchline ot bad threads and poo poo posts due to overuse, so i agree

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

oh yeah


hemophilia posted:

it has lost its power as a punchline ot bad threads and poo poo posts due to overuse, so i agree

I'm a homo

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



never stop

The Hamster Man
Jul 4, 2008


what is gay

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Strategy.


Witty AV/post combo! See, there are so many ways to make the joke work if you take the effort to do so!

jackyl
Jun 1, 2000


op is gayer than Richard Simmons

Mulefisk
Sep 24, 2007

I am angry.
ANGRY ABOUT CITIES


glowing-fish posted:

this is one of the most innovative, fresh, and funny forums on the internet,

lol

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Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012


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