glowing-fish posted:

I think we need to stop saying "I'm Gay". Remember, this is one of the most innovative, fresh, and funny forums on the internet, and endlessly repeating a catch phrase isn't living up to the standards we've established.

But, if you absolutely need to inform the world of your homosexuality, you can still do so. Just do it in an innovative and interesting way! Here are some examples of ways to announce you're gayness:

1. Academic:
"I feel that the hegemonic narratives of heterosexual fulfillment are yet another way of the Western metaphysical tradition to reduce human experiences to neat and orderly patterns that can not capture the fullness of my queer, subversive Being-as-Such."

2. tumblr: "I am a flushed demiromantic powerbottom muscletwink genderfluid queer, and am also a Time Lord otherkin"

3. Topical: "Despite being a third string center averaging less than 2 points a game, I have the most popular jersey in the NBA"

4. Indirect: "I am a Republican Senator who believes in protecting the sanctity of our traditional family values."

5. Vulgar: "I like to gobble on cockmeat and guzzle the balljuice"

6. Poetic: "The chiseled physique of a strong and virile male causes my heart to palpitate in anticipation of his strong embrace, a feeling of excitement that can only be surpassed by the ecstasy of feeling every crease of his manhood pushing against my body's most tender region, filling me up in an emotional bond that those who deny the rightness of our love can never comprehend"

7. Make up a poem or rhyme!:
"If you ask me if I want it hetero
I would say heck no
Rather be in a federal prison
Getting full of jism
Morning noon and night
I don't wanna see the light
At the end of the tunnel
Rather I wanna be pummeled
Like a pommel horse
And of course its gotta be by men
Who have the strength to burst my hymen
Leave me messy like New Orleans after Katrina
Hot dudes show me what is between your legs
I will drink it like doing a keg stand
Just take my legs and
Move them apart, show me your art
Of male on male loving,
With the shoving and pushing
Then I will drink your cream like a Pershing"

These are just a few ideas to expand our repertoire. Please, don't be afraid to challenge yourself and grow by finding new ways to express yourself.

Loden Taylor posted: