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Rando
Mar 11, 2004



Join in and be as profane and obscene as you like.

Here's a few to get us started beginning with the most tame of curses and ending with a couple that will surely condemn me to burn in the pit for all eternity.

Gosh!

Dernit!

drat!

God drat it!

God drat you!

God drat you to hell!

Christ on a cross!

Jumping Jesus Mary gently caress!

I deny the divinity of Christ!

I pour salt on the Four Wounds of Christ!

I poo poo on the Four Wounds of Christ!

I gently caress the Four Wounds of Christ!

I poo poo on Christ, on the cross, on the carpenter that made it and on the son of a whore who planted the pine.

I curse the wretched angel-tainted stinkyhole of the mother of Christ who is the false messiah and on that slut virgin's god-ravished womb. She who is Mary the tool, eager whore to divine patrons, low born and valueless heir-making cow stock of a talentless cuckold carpenter. She who lay upon that stinking barn floor and who deserved no more comfort than the filth and oozed from herself the child, greeted with piled poo poo and piss-drenched straw. She that puked into the world that whimpering babe that became the abandoned, forsaken, ignored, helpless, broken, fading god forever crucified, the Warrior of Bladeless Words and Marshal of the Feeble. Hatred and anger and spite unto these that abominable sow and pigspawn dog and forever foul curses and a miserable fate to all who kneel in supplication to these icons of cowardice and wrongfully honor their names.

If blasphemy isn't your thing you could maybe try a seditious, radical screed inspiring violent anarchy. I'm open to stuff.

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mystery at hog island
Aug 16, 2003
Captain of Outer Space

gently caress the Holy Spirit.

Rrussom
May 13, 2009


Euphoria

Fedora

Gentlesir

Hail Satan

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006
WARNING: THIS IS AN AL BORLAND POST

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ THIS BULL SHIT!!!

Christ on a ten speed bike.

Troll Bridgington
Dec 22, 2011

Keeping up foreign relations.

You give Jesus a handful of skittles
The skittles fall through his hand holes
Jesus sad

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006
WARNING: THIS IS AN AL BORLAND POST

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ THIS BULL SHIT!!!

Troll Bridgington posted:

You give Jesus a handful of skittles
The skittles fall through his hand holes
Jesus sad

it was more in the wrists really...

Troll Bridgington
Dec 22, 2011

Keeping up foreign relations.

Al Borland posted:

it was more in the wrists really...

Yeah but...

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006
WARNING: THIS IS AN AL BORLAND POST

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ THIS BULL SHIT!!!


you say thats when you say, "Yeah thats what jesus said when he was giving me a dead gay handjob."

Quickscope420dad
Jun 30, 2014

From 0 to boner in 1500-3000 seconds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8

and also

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-4TtzfvNTM

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



so what happened betwen you and this jesus character

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006
WARNING: THIS IS AN AL BORLAND POST

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ THIS BULL SHIT!!!

lonesomedwarf posted:

so what happened betwen you and this jesus character

was late delivering his jimmy johns.

Freakbox
Dec 22, 2009

Tasted Too Much Rainbow!!!


He stole the heroin, obviously. Angry Withdrawals are the pits.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



Jesus and I just don't see eye to eye on some stuff and gently caress his mother in any event.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



Jesus and I just don't see eye to eye on some stuff and gently caress his mother in any event.

Edit, you see the poo poo he pulls on me just to be a dick?

Rando fucked around with this message at Aug 16, 2014 around 13:14

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006
WARNING: THIS IS AN AL BORLAND POST

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ THIS BULL SHIT!!!

Rando posted:

Jesus and I just don't see eye to eye on some stuff and gently caress his mother in any event.

Edit, you see the poo poo he pulls on me just to be a dick?

Yep god gonna god.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCA8rLya5qg

Rexim
Jun 2, 2006

I wants flies in on a dragons, okay?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEZPws99WBQ

Rexim
Jun 2, 2006

I wants flies in on a dragons, okay?

Covered in black

*turns page*

poo poo.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q7YD5et4v0

lt_kennedy
Sep 2, 2007
Needs Moar Race

Jesus Cucking Christ

Beer Jerky
Nov 3, 2011


God is a dick!

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



Christ's cock in a camel's rear end!

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



To which Peter replied "I wouldn't gently caress that Magdelane bitch with Judus's cock".

Math Debater
May 6, 2007



I am God.

errol _flynn
Oct 6, 2009


The curse phrase You Christless fool is big up here in dear old Maine

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

Don't make me Ponder this pick, Ricky

I'm gay

Splatmaster
Aug 1, 2007



May God have mercy on your soul!

See what I did there? OR DID I!

Thinky Whale
Aug 2, 2012

All that most maddens and torments; all that stirs up the lees of things; all truth with malice in it; all that cracks the sinews and cakes the brain; all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil were visibly personified, and made practically assailable in Fry.

Baphomet had some good ideas.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010





oh gently caress is that a j/o crystal

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



I don't think you all are being nearly as heretical and abominable as you could be. I'll try another. You should try too. Just think of the holy trinity as that clique of fuckface kids from high school that tied you up in the shower and sodomized you.

The Trinity is just a heavenly daisy chain, a circle-jerk at the mutual admiration society.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



and a clasic...

The Litany of Satan
O you, the wisest and fairest of the Angels,
God betrayed by destiny and deprived of praise,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
O Prince of Exile, you who have been wronged
And who vanquished always rise up again more strong,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who know all, great king of hidden things,
The familiar healer of human sufferings,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who teach through love the taste for Heaven
To the cursed pariah, even to the leper,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who of Death, your mistress old and strong,
Have begotten Hope, a charming madcap!
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who give the outlaw that calm and haughty look
That damns the whole multitude around his scaffold.
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who know in what nooks of the miserly earth
A jealous God has hidden precious stones,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You whose clear eye sees the deep arsenals
Where the tribe of metals sleeps in its tomb,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You whose broad hand conceals the precipice
From the sleep-walker wandering on the building's ledge,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who soften magically the old bones
Of belated drunkards trampled by the horses,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who to console frail mankind in its sufferings
Taught us to mix sulphur and saltpeter,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who put your mark, O subtle accomplice,
Upon the brow of Croesus, base and pitiless,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
You who put in the eyes and hearts of prostitutes
The cult of sores and the love of rags and tatters,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
Staff of those in exile, lamp of the inventor,
Confessor of the hanged and of conspirators,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
Adopted father of those whom in black rage
God the Father drove from the earthly paradise,
O Satan, take pity on my long misery!
Prayer
Glory and praise to you, O Satan, in the heights
Of Heaven where you reigned and in the depths
Of Hell where vanquished you dream in silence!
Grant that my soul may someday repose near to you
Under the Tree of Knowledge, when, over your brow,
Its branches will spread like a new Temple!

Nation
May 8, 2003
Enjoy

please stop

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



Nation posted:

please stop

Like an aggressive host of surprise sex-hungry Seraphs I can not be stopped. My posts are as the Nephalim.

Feranon
Sep 10, 2011

Oh, I know lots of things.

L O T S    O F    T H I N G S


lotsa hellbound souls itt

SpicyMeatSandwich
Apr 22, 2007



You guys are gonna be in big trouble

Heartbroken 2Twice
Oct 6, 2013


if god is everywhere at once, is he in my rear end? is that why im so turned on right now?

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.


they're just lovely couches, i don't see what the big deal is

Lichy
Jun 1, 2012

When an ant is struck, does it not fight back
and bite the hand of the man who strikes it?


did anyone do the cult classic hail satan yet, our lord and saviour

THE FUCKING MOON
Jan 19, 2008

******************!!!!!

"Pontius Pilate and Big J spent the night before the crucifixion pulling the hair out of each others nutsack one by one and it wasn't supposed to be gay but Jesus popped a big gay boner and Pontius was all like 'woah, not cool man. I will crucify you for this'. And then he did, and it was good." -Deuteronomy 4:20

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porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


jesus was black

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