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Croc Monster

It's on the menu

Now with hookers and blackjack.

Membership has its privileges, after all.

All first-page posters, in recognition of their cunning foresight to get in on the ground floor, have been automatically issued a custom platinum card with the coveted "SA" date code.



If anyone else wants a card, post in the thread. Your date code will correspond to the page on which you made your request. Page 2: "SA2", page 3 "SA3", etc. Sorry, no custom numbers because


THE REPUBLIC OF PLATLANDIA
Platinum Crew is more than just an oasis of style and class in the soupy goopy shitsea of goondom. We are a nation-state.

Capital City: Gayhaven
National Anthem: pending
National Motto: pending
National Animal: the platypus
Flag: pending


OUR GOVERNMENT

Prime Minister: Croc Monster
Tea Lady : Gypsum Fantastic
Minister of Internal Security: Infidel Castro
Lord Chief Viceroy: Beige
Lord Chancellor of Health and Human Services: Quickscope420dad
Chancellor of the Exchequer: Wall Balls
Minister of Communications: chaosbreather
Miniser of Leisure: Frankenstyle
First Lord Registrar of Polls: SHISHKABOB
Minister of Propaganda: Al Borland
First Sea Lord of the Admiralty: Broenheim
Master of Whisperers: Majorian
Minister of Commerce: Deki
Lord High Commissioner of Sanitation: Howard Beale
Surgeon General: wilbur.walsh
Lord Minister of Health and Fitness: KimJongUnstoppable
Lord High Chancellor of Education: ProfessorMurder
Lord High General of the Armies: Pershing
Lord High Commissioner of Nautical Sciences: InFlames235
Ambassador to Night Crew: mazzi Chart Czar
Ambassador to BYOB: Iggy Koopa
Enfant Terrible: friendly craig

SERVICE IS ITS OWN REWARD

Platinum crew members may display the following service badges and awards as appropriate:


First Page Poster Award
Awarded in recognition of early supporters, it may only be displayed by those plats who posted on the first page.


Government Service Badge
May be displayed by any member of government as listed in the OP.


Retired Government Service Badge
May be displayed by any former member of government. Not applicable to those who remain in service and merely changed position.


Security Services Badge
May be displayed by any member of a government security/intelligence branch as listed in the OP. This may be displayed in addition to your regular Government Service Badge


Landed Gentry Recognition Badge
May be displayed by those with the word "Lord" or "Lady" in their government titles.


Meritorious Service Award
Awarded to those who have directly engaged any non-plat combatants in this thread. At the discretion of the Prime Minister, may also be conferred upon those who have gently engaged hostile fellow plats.


Industrial Service Award
Awarded to those who have contributed any form of original artwork to the platinum crew.


BYOB Homestead Badge
May be displayed by BYOB regulars who have joined the platinum crew.


Platinum Cross, 3rd Class
May be displayed by anyone with any TWO of the following: platinum, custom avatar, archives, no ads.


Platinum Cross, 2nd Class
May be displayed by anyone with any THREE of the following: platinum, custom avatar, archives, no ads.


Platinum Cross, 1st Class
May be displayed by anyone with ALL of the following: platinum, custom avatar, archives, no ads.


Platinum Cross of Honor
This award can only be issued by the Prime Minister, in recognition for service above and beyond the necessary call of duty. This award stands on its own, and does not preclude the recipient from also displaying one of the above classed Platinum Cross medals.


WE ARE HERE FOR YOU

The Platinum Crew Government serves the needs of all platinums. You are safe here with us, and our Minister of Internal Security is eager to help! Would you like to know more?



OUTREACH IS IMPORTANT

Nonplats need our help! The violent ones need reprogramming. The ignorant ones need education. Our Minister of Communications is here for any nonplat requiring aid and guidance. Would you like to know more?


Croc Monster fucked around with this message at Oct 19, 2014 around 21:04

ADBOT LOVES YOU

fuck trophy 2k14


but what's your favorite anime?

klapman

Do I turn you ON?

about god drat time my incredible posting gets recognized

Stick Figure Mafia

We've run outta retro!
Counterpoint: I suck pretty bad.

bigzak

well done. i would expect nothing less from a prestigious platinum user

Superbus MAS

check you're privilege

Roy

great post, op

jolly good show

Gypsum Fantastic


5'd

Gypsum Fantastic fucked around with this message at Aug 17, 2014 around 18:12

Beige

The sky calls to us

I knew it was a 5 thread without even reading it.

ProfessorMurder

I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln
I'm breaking this trend with a post that does not contain a clapping image.

jalopybrown

finally a crew an unemployed daywalker like me can call home

Baracula

One, two, three trillion! Ah hah hah!
gotta get in on the ground floor of this 5 thread!

Baracula fucked around with this message at Aug 17, 2014 around 09:29

Acquire Currency!

~All sales are final, all posts are PLATINUM.~

Represent

Voted: platinum

Broenheim

Don't judge me just because I'm a trans cat
I have my maid do my posting

Broenheim fucked around with this message at Aug 17, 2014 around 23:34

FadingChord


If having Platinum is gay, then I'm the biggest queer on earth!

ethanol

Eleven thousand dead birds
fly towards nothing because
they are dead
and cannot fly
anybody spare some plat? plat? need some plat here thats a nice wife you got there spare some plat? plat?? plat please? got some plat?

Gypsum Fantastic


ethanol posted:

anybody spare some plat? plat? need some plat here thats a nice wife you got there spare some plat? plat?? plat please? got some plat?

mazzi Chart Czar

holy fuck
"MONEY! It's a gas."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkhX5W7JoWI

Stick Figure Mafia

We've run outta retro!
Getting this grenade is literally the only thing I've ever accomplished in life.

Jimbone Tallshanks
You can't pull rank on murder.
Am I platinum I don't know I might be but only because I'm terrible with money

kazr

There's no sense in nonsense
Especially when the heat's hot
i forget

kazr

There's no sense in nonsense
Especially when the heat's hot
oh cool, gonna strut into the club

Rrussom
I wish more games featured women turning into toilets. I want toilet transformers.

Jimbone Tallshanks posted:

Am I platinum I don't know I might be but only because I'm terrible with money

P sure that square by your name says that, yes, you definitely ARE terrible with money.

Back To 99

Hello fellow platinum users!

Sagan

Welcome to your new existance, mein doppelganger!
That's great, but where can I upgrade to a SOMETHING AWFUL GOLD account?

Gypsum Fantastic


Sagan posted:

That's great, but where can I upgrade to a SOMETHING AWFUL GOLD account?

Youre silly, order of best goes platinum > gold > silver > bronze > tupperware > cardboard

Beige

The sky calls to us

Back To 99 posted:

Hello fellow platinum users!

Sagan

Welcome to your new existance, mein doppelganger!

Gypsum Fantastic posted:

Youre silly, order of best goes platinum > gold > silver > bronze > tupperware > cardboard

tupperware should be a purchasable account level imo

Zogo


I haven't felt this privileged since I got my Burger King 15% off VIP card and my Wendy's free small frosty for one year key fob.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7v0pvBo1VE

Quorthy


checking to see if i have it *fingers crossed*

edit: gently caress yeah

SaltLick




A crown fit for a goon king

The Belgian

Truly a better person than you

having plat is p nice

CruJones

Its okay. Hes just admiring the shape of your skull.
Serious question: what does platinum do?

amityville anus

Jokes on Lowtax I was gonna buy an AV to show i have money now I don't need to

Nelson Mandingo


CruJones posted:

Serious question: what does platinum do?

Pumps up your self-importance. Is there really a price on egotism?

Baracula

One, two, three trillion! Ah hah hah!

CruJones posted:

Serious question: what does platinum do?

adds a solid six to your dong.

Croc Monster

It's on the menu

Baracula posted:

adds a solid six to your dong.

This right here.

SaltLick


Baracula posted:

adds a solid six to your dong.

fuckin right

Mad Rancher

my posting belongs in a bathroom also I have bad tastes in avatars

Baracula posted:

adds a solid six to your dong.

and coats it in platinum

ADBOT LOVES YOU

ethanol

Eleven thousand dead birds
fly towards nothing because
they are dead
and cannot fly
I am going to walk into the hottest subforum on sa and i'm going to annihilate every plat slut I find in there

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