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MOOBS! posted:face or chest? it's a body language thing all over my cock plus balls and stomach i was like "what is this "and she said "oh i came a lot tee hee" b ut i smelled my shirt and it was piss it was on the beach so i had my clothes on
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Aug 18, 2014 14:18
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got pissed on by a new zealander ama
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Aug 18, 2014 14:19
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lonesomedwarf posted:got pissed on by a new zealander ama peepee from a kiwi
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Aug 18, 2014 14:27
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lonesomedwarf posted:got pissed on by a new zealander ama Why didn't you pee back
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Aug 18, 2014 14:28
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Avoid the Clap. ~Jimmy Dugan
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Aug 18, 2014 14:38
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regret
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Aug 18, 2014 15:04
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Ahundredbux posted:literally or figuratively ? first one, then the other
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Aug 18, 2014 15:05
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crippling sadbrains from sharing myself intimately with another human
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Aug 18, 2014 15:07
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one of her Lee Press-Ons came off in my butt
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Aug 18, 2014 15:09
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We were both drunk and dehydrated, and I was wearing a cheap condom that didn't have lube on the inside. It was pretty vigorous and I felt a painful pulling sensation on my glans repeatedly, but finished anyway. Later that night I woke up sober and needing to piss and when I did, I saw a giant blood blister right on the head. It looked pretty terrifying like some kind of weird leech or something.
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Aug 18, 2014 15:50
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Ruby got Railed posted:one of her Lee Press-Ons came off in my butt now the av makes sense
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Aug 18, 2014 16:04
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a really large woman sat on me and i died
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Aug 18, 2014 16:07
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chaosbreather posted:a reminder to all you plats lol le epic plat meme
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Aug 18, 2014 16:12
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vyst posted:Avoid the Clap. I use that line approximately 4 times a year and no one ever gets it.
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Aug 18, 2014 16:38
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GORDON posted:I use that line approximately 4 times a year and no one ever gets it. The joke or the clap?
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Aug 18, 2014 16:44
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Ahundredbux posted:The joke or the clap? both
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Aug 18, 2014 16:47
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bruised dick from bending it at some weird angle where either I hit bone or... ?? so bad
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Aug 18, 2014 16:59
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Had a girl slip while riding me and bend my boner wrong in her. She though she broke it in two for a moment. Sure felt like it.
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Aug 18, 2014 17:26
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I have a sprained tongue.
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Aug 18, 2014 17:58
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GORDON posted:This one time I was going down on this girl and I said drat you've got a big pussy, drat you've got a big pussy. She asked me why I said it twice and I said because it is so damned big. 
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Aug 18, 2014 19:43
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popped balls
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Aug 18, 2014 19:45
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i injured his butt with penis heh
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Aug 18, 2014 19:51
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some guy almost broke his dick on my butt.
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Aug 18, 2014 19:52
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he pulled out and tried to gently caress my butt cheek on accident. to explain it further.
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Aug 18, 2014 19:53
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lost a leg
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Aug 18, 2014 19:54
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tore no less than seven ligaments
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Aug 18, 2014 19:58
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poked bellend on IUD wire
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Aug 18, 2014 19:58
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cum od
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Aug 18, 2014 20:04
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i know someone who broke his dick in thailand
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Aug 18, 2014 20:06
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cut the top of my butt on the faucet in the bathtub and it got infected
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Aug 18, 2014 20:08
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last year i got a winky injury that lasted a few weeks because i'd had a fumble with an american and he did not know how to be nice to an uncircumcised penis. like he thought he was pumping up a bike tyre 
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Aug 18, 2014 20:47
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rammed my dick right between and her vagina and rear end in a top hat and it hurt/was funny after dont hit the coffee table
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Aug 18, 2014 20:48
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gorki posted:last year i got a winky injury that lasted a few weeks because i'd had a fumble with an american and he did not know how to be nice to an uncircumcised penis. like he thought he was pumping up a bike tyre what?? *reviews schematics*
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Aug 18, 2014 20:48
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One time we were standing and I was holding up the girl like they do in porn and then I got a cramp in my butt muscle. Right cheek.
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Aug 18, 2014 21:17
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i put my hands on a coochie once after failing to wash them after chopping up jalapenos. ninja: i washed them before i started chopping up the jalapenos of course. i'm not an animal.
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Aug 18, 2014 21:44
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ooh! first post ever! last sex thing i did, I had her riding on my lap, and was trying to lift her up and sit her on my face, but she shot forward, and split her eyebrow on a windowsill. blood, screaming, the end...
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Aug 18, 2014 21:44
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thewireguy posted:ooh! first post ever! last sex thing i did, I had her riding on my lap, and was trying to lift her up and sit her on my face, but she shot forward, and split her eyebrow on a windowsill. blood, screaming, the end... Welcome to SA.
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Aug 18, 2014 22:14
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thewireguy posted:ooh! first post ever! last sex thing i did, I had her riding on my lap, and was trying to lift her up and sit her on my face, but she shot forward, and split her eyebrow on a windowsill. blood, screaming, the end... Did either of you shat yourselves?
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Aug 18, 2014 22:29
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thewireguy posted:blood, screaming, the end... She died? 
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Aug 18, 2014 22:33
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1gnoirents posted:bruised dick from bending it at some weird angle where either I hit bone or... ?? this sucks especially if you make that horrible CRACK sound, scared the poo poo out of me Trixie Hardcore posted:I have a sprained tongue. get this sometimes too but tbh I just take is a sign I'm doing a good job
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Aug 18, 2014 22:33
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