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Calvin Johnson Jr. posted:rammed my dick right between and her vagina and rear end in a top hat and it hurt/was funny after did she make that "Oooh!" alarm sound girls make when youre anywhere near their rear end in a top hat and think youre gonna go for it
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Aug 19, 2014 12:11
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Trixie Hardcore posted:All-Pro Superstar Dyke van Dyke is this too long for a name change?
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Aug 19, 2014 13:12
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Hopper posted:This seems more common than I expected, I mean I heard about spicy being an aphrodisiac before but this... In my case it wasn't intentional, and he felt awful about it. Hands should be washed REALLY thoroughly after handling hot peppers, otherwise things can get burny
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Aug 19, 2014 13:37
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Crow Jane posted:In my case it wasn't intentional, and he felt awful about it. Hands should be washed REALLY thoroughly after handling hot peppers, otherwise things can get burny maybe this is too much info but how does it compare to hot jalapenos in the mouth. I'll never know how a pussy jalapeno burn feels like 
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Aug 19, 2014 13:42
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Decebal posted:maybe this is too much info but how does it compare to hot jalapenos in the mouth. lol
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Aug 19, 2014 13:46
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Decebal posted:maybe this is too much info but how does it compare to hot jalapenos in the mouth. Well, these were habaneros so it was pretty intense. A lot worse than in the mouth, because I can't exactly chug a glass of milk or beer with my vag to alleviate things. Keeping an ice pack pressed against myself kinda helped with the outer parts, I guess
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Aug 19, 2014 13:48
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you could probably use a funnel to fill yourself up with milk, I guess. If it's that bad Edit: there's some videos online that show a similar procedure. google funnel + vagina
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Aug 19, 2014 13:53
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chaosbreather posted:a reminder to all you plats Is this an ad for the upcoming PlatOrgy? Someone PM me the date/location. I'll bring lube, 'cause I got a lot of extra bottles. (I saved a ton of money using my Platinum Discount.)
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Aug 19, 2014 13:58
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one time we were loving doggy style and he was hitting my head into the wall because masochism and i moved my head and my nose rammed into the wall. started crying. he kept fuckin.
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Aug 19, 2014 14:27
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I ripped his balls off
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Aug 19, 2014 14:51
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kegels or assault?
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Aug 19, 2014 14:53
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MOOBS! posted:kegels or assault? Both
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Aug 19, 2014 15:01
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Crow Jane posted:Well, these were habaneros so it was pretty intense. A lot worse than in the mouth, because I can't exactly chug a glass of milk or beer with my vag to alleviate things. Keeping an ice pack pressed against myself kinda helped with the outer parts, I guess lol if you can't chug a glass of milk or beer with your vag
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Aug 19, 2014 15:01
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By balls went back up inside my body
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Aug 19, 2014 15:01
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Carpal tunnel and tennis elbow.
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Aug 19, 2014 15:47
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SirDan3k posted:Carpal tunnel and tennis elbow. more like pennis elbow lmao
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Aug 19, 2014 15:55
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Treated a patient once for a fractured penis. Looked pretty loving painful.
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Aug 19, 2014 15:59
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Crow Jane posted:I can't exactly chug a glass of milk or beer with my vag to alleviate things. Not with that attitude. 
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Aug 19, 2014 16:02
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Snail tracks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfHCxIiZ_4M
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Aug 19, 2014 16:26
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Choked on a toasted ham and cheese, had to swap positions to receive heimlich
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Aug 20, 2014 00:44
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Tore the top bar of my jacobs ladder completely out
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Aug 20, 2014 00:49
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i have jerked my dick raw a couple times, im not proud of it, but I should be alright in a week or so accidentally stabbed the wrong hole during my drunken flailing teenage years, lets just say my ego wasn't the only thing that was bruised (although you couldn't tell) i've not masturbated myself to death yet, I'm no Jerome Carpenter, may god rest his horny, cum-filled soul
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Aug 20, 2014 02:00
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Nostratic posted:Treated a patient once for a fractured penis. Looked pretty loving painful. doctor you promised you wouldnt tell
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Aug 20, 2014 02:13
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One time my at the time fat girlfriend rolled over onto my hand and broke my thumb.
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Aug 20, 2014 02:23
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one time my weiner cried tears from it and irt wasnt pee trust me
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Aug 20, 2014 02:28
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Volume posted:One time my at the time fat girlfriend rolled over onto my hand and broke my thumb. dam thats fd up im sorry dog
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Aug 20, 2014 02:29
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Donk burn. Stubbed balls.
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Sep 4, 2014 02:44
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i managed to cum in my own eye once during sex. poo poo burns.
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Sep 4, 2014 02:54
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I had blood in my cum once and I'm pretty sure its from sexual violence because it cleared up in a couple days meaning it couldn't have been an std or infection or w/e
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Sep 4, 2014 02:56
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I'm a skinny guy, and when I hooked up with a really skinny chick our pelvic bones ground together because she was rather vigorous. Bruises, and soreness, but overall good. would do again.
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Sep 4, 2014 02:59
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dated a girl who wore a chain from her earring to her septum piercing and she'd forget to take the chain off when going down on me just so that years later I could say I once nearly ripped out a nose ring with my dick
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Sep 4, 2014 03:06
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Therapeutic gynecomastia
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Sep 4, 2014 03:14
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I had a sex really hard a couple months ago and got a tiny tear in my frenulum but now every time I have sex it tears a lil and I'm pretty worried its gonna rip completely soon enough I guess if I held off for a while it might heal but I'm horny basically 24hrs a day and have 0 self control
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Sep 4, 2014 03:31
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It's bent upward at a comically-looking angle now but was totally worth it.
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Sep 4, 2014 03:35
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Broken loving heart.
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Sep 4, 2014 03:36
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redshirt posted:Broken loving heart. 
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Sep 4, 2014 03:41
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redshirt posted:Broken loving heart. ill be there for you, when the rain starts to fall...
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Sep 4, 2014 03:42
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Zombies' Downfall posted:I had blood in my cum once and I'm pretty sure its from sexual violence because it cleared up in a couple days meaning it couldn't have been an std or infection or w/e nah it's just moved on to eating your brain
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Sep 4, 2014 03:46
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redshirt posted:Broken loving heart. that's a pretty hardcore fetish, sorry to hear about your mishap
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Sep 4, 2014 03:46
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SplitSoul posted:that's a pretty hardcore fetish, sorry to hear about your mishap Thank you. I just had sex, you see, so this wound is fresh. You can read about it here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3662332&pagenumber=3
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Sep 4, 2014 03:47
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