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Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
I just quit on the phone to one of my managers. I told her I was sorry for the short notice and i thought she was cool and bye. (I was supposed to be a cashier upfront in like 2 hours) I guess that's pretty lame.


Anyways my friend is already employed at the place I just got employed at and the store I just quit from doesn't even know she already quit because they gave her like 4 days off in a row and they're probably gonna blow up her phone on Friday because she isn't planning on telling them anything so they're going to poo poo themselves finding someone who can run and close a starbucks kiosk. I guess that's a cool way of quitting.


please post good/bad advice, and stories of you quitting your job real or contrived.

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TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

Tsinava posted:

I just quit on the phone to one of my managers. I told her I was sorry for the short notice and i thought she was cool and bye. (I was supposed to be a cashier upfront in like 2 hours) I guess that's pretty lame.


Anyways my friend is already employed at the place I just got employed at and the store I just quit from doesn't even know she already quit because they gave her like 4 days off in a row and they're probably gonna blow up her phone on Friday because she isn't planning on telling them anything so they're going to poo poo themselves finding someone who can run and close a starbucks kiosk. I guess that's a cool way of quitting.


please post good/bad advice, and stories of you quitting your job real or contrived.

you show up walk 5 feet into the front entrance stick your arms in the air and yell I"M OUT, then leave forever.

Hayburner
Jan 29, 2005

hi
they don't care

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Give two weeks notice and be a good employee for those two weeks.

If the job is that lovely that you don't want to do that, then don't stress because they probably have high turn over and

Hayburner posted:

they don't care

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIqeXSYc8nE

Duh

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
take a poo poo in your hands, rub it all over your face and balls ( make sure to eat some of it). walk up to your boss and vomit on him / her. when the boss starts vomiting knock them to the floor and murder them. piss and cum on the corpse. eat the cum. then just walk out with out giving any notice.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Post about it.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
really just don't be a bitch walk in go straight to the highest level person in store stare them in the eyes, say i quit, then leave never breaking eye contact.

Jack-in-the-Bach
Oct 15, 2005

take the money out of the cash register and replace it with poop and then leave.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

Wizzle-Wazzle posted:

take the money out of the cash register and replace it with poop and then leave.

you put it in a mangers locker then leave.

Snatch Duster
Feb 20, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Kill yourself

Hayburner
Jan 29, 2005

hi
say "i quit" then walk 2 steps to the cell phone case kiosk with resume in hand because you'll never do better

Kleen_TheRacistDog
Feb 17, 2014

Can't bust the Krust fuckman
www.skullmund.com

Kirk Johnson
May 25, 2014

by Ralp
You're supposed to cum on things and make sure they catch you so you get fired. Remember: they're not allowed to mention the reason for your termination in any references they give so save up a week's load, edge for like an hour before you leave the house, go to work and and go to town on things.

Kirk Johnson fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Aug 20, 2014

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

Kirk Johnson posted:

You're supposed to cum on things and make sure they catch yo so you get fired. Remember: they're not allowed to mention the reason for your termination in any references the give so save up a week's load, edge for like an hour before you leave the house, go to work and and go to town on things.

talk to a dr/psycologist first get a diagnosis of anything, get them to fire you and then sue. then when they are required to hire you back just show up whenever and do nothing all shift.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
realtalk though the best way is to get yourself fired for some obvious bullshit then go collect unemployment

like if they ask you to do something illegal and you go 'lol nope I refuse!' then they fire you. money time!

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





my last day working at an office max some kid poo poo on the floor. i said "naaa im not doing that and i only have two hours left so im leaving now thanks"


they said ok and said to come back any time i needed a job. then made some other poor teenager clean up kid poo poo

Kirk Johnson
May 25, 2014

by Ralp

dontcareaboutname posted:

talk to a dr/psycologist first get a diagnosis of anything, get them to fire you and then sue. then when they are required to hire you back just show up whenever and do nothing all shift.

No, when they hire you back, that's when you should go in and cum on things too.

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


i wouldn't know op as i've never had a job

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

SaltLick posted:

my last day working at an office max some kid poo poo on the floor. i said "naaa im not doing that and i only have two hours left so im leaving now thanks"


they said ok and said to come back any time i needed a job. then made some other poor teenager clean up kid poo poo

the trick is to just cover it with a cloth wet floor pyramid thing.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp

SaltLick posted:

my last day working at an office max some kid poo poo on the floor. i said "naaa im not doing that and i only have two hours left so im leaving now thanks"


they said ok and said to come back any time i needed a job. then made some other poor teenager clean up kid poo poo

that's a cool store.

that's a cool kid.

that teenager got owned.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
AR 15, extended mag semi auto pistol, pipe trip wire bombs for both front and back doors before you enter the place, and a severe hatred for women for not touching your peepee.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





dontcareaboutname posted:

the trick is to just cover it with a cloth wet floor pyramid thing.

we only had the plastic ones so poo poo could easy be seen

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
ive mentioned this before, but you cant really go wrong as long as you remember to poo poo, piss, cum, and vomit on your bosses corpse

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
i think making GBS threads on the floor and blaming it on another customers child and refusing to clean it up is great way to quit your job.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
just falsly blame a POC of stealing till you get fired.

Accretionist
Nov 7, 2012
I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES
There's probably some coworkers who really need that job getting called in on their days off since you quit with too little notice for a replacement to be hired

Congrats, OP, you ruined some depressed guys' and gals' weekends.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
since your friend is a girl, maybe she could gently caress and suck the customers before making GBS threads on everything and killing herself

Leroy Diplowski
Aug 25, 2005

The Candyman Can :science:

Visit My Candy Shop

And SA Mart Thread
Just burst into tears and blubber your resignation in between wrenching sobs. Then your boss will feel really loved.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





Leroy Diplowski posted:

Just burst into tears and blubber your resignation in between wrenching sobs. Then your boss will feel really loved.

its gonna suck if someone shits in your candy as a way to leave


itll probably still be delicious

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
they had me checking all week and if they're really in the pinch the managers have to check. i don't feel bad about this, and if that does make me a bad person, which i find hard to believe, then so be it i guess.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
if they're short on checkers, the store is located in the part of town where all the old money lives and basically has the worst kinds of customers in the city anyways. i almost feel good about it.

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy

Hayburner posted:

they don't care

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
you are actually a really GOOD person for trying to help your friend.

is she pretty fat? she sounds fat. if so she could try making GBS threads and pissing in the coffee while she makes pig or donkey noises (totally nude obv.) she could vomit a little on people too.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
have you ever tried making GBS threads and pissing on your fat friend? she might actually like it and give you a blow job and rim job

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
I'll probably just tell my boss that I found somebody cooler than him to work for. That way I leave on a good note and make him feel small enough to speak highly of me after I leave.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

dad gay. so what posted:

have you ever tried making GBS threads and pissing on your fat friend? she might actually like it and give you a blow job and rim job

"accidently" knock over an entire liquor wall.

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
all these pooping and peeing and sexual/physical assault ideas are dandy, i would also appreciate things that won't get the cops called on you.

THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax
Kill everyone

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TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
just poo poo yourself and pee your pants and pretend nothing is amiss till you get fired.

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