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If you work retail don't show up on black Friday or any high volume mandatory work day.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:24
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Have a cake, gaudy flower arrangement, and barbershop quartet sent to your workplace. I'm not sure what song they could work "gently caress you, I quit" into, but I'm sure they can be creative with it.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:25
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okay well, next time i quit my retail job i will by a pair of rollerskate and seriously consider wearing them and then pulling my pants down and bending over and propelling myself through the entrance by spraying diarrhea out of my rear end then when i get inside i do a pirouette and pee all over the place in a circular motion and scream i quit over and over based on advice in this thread so far.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:26
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Tsinava posted:okay well, next time i quit my retail job i will by a pair of rollerskate and seriously consider wearing them and then pulling my pants down and bending over and propelling myself through the entrance by spraying diarrhea out of my rear end then when i get inside i do a pirouette and pee all over the place in a circular motion and scream i quit over and over based on advice in this thread so far. pay a bum to do it so he gets arrested.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:27
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Hayburner posted:they don't care
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Aug 20, 2014 20:27
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Comedy option: bring a gun; open fire indiscriminately until the screaming stops. Real option: A year or two back some dude apparently quit his office job by writing his resignation on a cake.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:27
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Ugh suing and getting rehired and going to work to do nothing is literally purgatory.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:27
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:Ugh suing and getting rehired and going to work to do nothing is literally purgatory. one step up from hell sounds nice.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:28
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I once spent a week methodically destroying a target stockroom by scanning individual cans of cat food- instead of the whole huge box from the truck- and placing each can in a different place in a huge set of two story shelves. I did the same with every other small item, meaning when someone needed that item they'd look up a location online and run with a ladder to climb for a case of whatever only NOPE one lonely can of whiskas or pack of batteries HAVE FUN CLIMBING THE LADDER 20 times an hour It was childish and stupid but so was the fat lady screaming and shoving people in charge of the stockroom
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Aug 20, 2014 20:30
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print out this thread, show boss. *drops mic*
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Aug 20, 2014 20:31
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start glitching out and take off your face like when arnold dresses up like the fat lady in total recall
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Aug 20, 2014 20:33
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naem posted:I once spent a week methodically destroying a target stockroom by scanning individual cans of cat food- instead of the whole huge box from the truck- and placing each can in a different place in a huge set of two story shelves. hahahahahaha that owns
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Aug 20, 2014 20:34
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:start glitching out and take off your face like when arnold dresses up like the fat lady in total recall this but while making GBS threads and pissing and nude
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Aug 20, 2014 20:34
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show up as green man.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:35
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has your friend ever given you a handy j?
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Aug 20, 2014 20:54
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dontcareaboutname posted:one step up from hell sounds nice. otoh, your av is also hell, in a good way
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Aug 20, 2014 20:58
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my friend is a fat and extremely angry lesbian. our relationship is intensely platonic. we set out to wreak havoc and despair on cis white males.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:59
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you could always just slap your boss in front of everyone and exclaim sexual harassment.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:59
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have you tried yelling the aristocrats over the stores PA?
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Aug 20, 2014 21:02
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ok I got it. strip that fat cow down and poo poo on her. piss and cum on her. roll her into that starbucks and spin her around on the floor. rape your friend, killing her instantly
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Aug 20, 2014 21:12
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dontcareaboutname posted:really just don't be a bitch walk in go straight to the highest level person in store stare them in the eyes, say i quit, then leave never breaking eye contact.
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Aug 20, 2014 21:13
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have your friend lay down in the street. drive a car over her head. call the police and say "hey assholes! I loving quit!"
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Aug 20, 2014 21:27
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take 3 shits. number them 1, 2, and 4. kill your friend.
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Aug 20, 2014 21:53
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Whatever you do, make sure you poo poo, and then piss in the poo poo, and then cum on the piss and the poo poo, and then poo poo on the cum in the shitpiss, because that's all that matters here on the Something Awful forums.
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Aug 20, 2014 21:59
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only if you want fyad to think you're cool which is impressive and not sad. also kill youre friends, famil, then self.
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Aug 20, 2014 21:59
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Definitely quit with fire.
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Aug 20, 2014 22:03
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its way easy, copy paste a 2 week notice letter and hand it to them and say I appreciate the opportunity ive had here but I've been offered a position somewhere else, this is my 2 week notice . If you are any good they will offer you more money on the spot too, fyi.
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Aug 20, 2014 22:06
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burn the place down
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Aug 20, 2014 22:07
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This is the obvious answer. Well, If you can pull it off whilst pooping and/or cumming.
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Aug 20, 2014 22:08
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have you tried pissing on your friends vagina, OP? hth
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Aug 20, 2014 22:15
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Do a mother loving sick rear end backflip, and then straight stick the landing. Throwing on your glasses and scream "I'm to cool for this place shitlords!" Then calmly put in your 2 week resignation.
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Aug 20, 2014 22:28
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give them two weeks notice and politely leave at the end of your last shift after saying goodbye to your co-workers
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Aug 20, 2014 22:38
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ok i think i have it now, OP: whenever you go to the bathroom for the next few weeks, instead of using the toilet, go in the bathtub. when it is almost full of poo poo and piss, get in it.
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Aug 20, 2014 22:38
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Give them a two weeks notice but the minute some loving customer or a dumb manager gives you some poo poo you walk right the gently caress out. That's how I plan to go if I quit.
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Aug 20, 2014 22:45
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TontoCorazon posted:Give them a two weeks notice but the minute some loving customer or a dumb manager gives you some poo poo you walk right the gently caress out. That's how I plan to go if I quit. are you going to cum or poo poo on them?
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Aug 20, 2014 22:48
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get caught drinking, nothin like a work beer
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Aug 20, 2014 22:48
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dad gay. so what posted:ok i think i have it now, OP: whenever you go to the bathroom for the next few weeks, instead of using the toilet, go in the bathtub. when it is almost full of poo poo and piss, get in it.
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Aug 20, 2014 22:49
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It's not technically illegal to take the store's merchandise and throw it in the trash
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Aug 20, 2014 22:50
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One time I just decided to stop going for a few days, then I came in on time for my next scheduled shift. It was pretty lol. All they did was act flabbergasted and "write me up", then I just left halfway through the day and didn't come back
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Aug 20, 2014 22:53
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 09:59 |
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I had a friend who worked a lovely call center job and when he couldn't take it anymore he had another buddy walk into the building and out to the call floor, wearing an old timey Paul Revere tri-corner hat and holding a large hand bell. The dude started clanging the bell and shouted "HEAR YE, HEAR YE, GABRIEL OFFICIALLY QUITS THIS lovely JOB!" at the top of his lungs. Then Gabe pulled his longboard out from under his desk and he and the Paul Revere guy rode tandem out of the call center.
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Aug 20, 2014 22:55
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