Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡

Ahundredbux posted:

i travel back in time and suck my own dick

yeah, you really gotta get at least one in before your major growth spurt

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014


I use a vagina.

Chris Awful
Oct 2, 2005

Tell your friends they don't have to be scared or hungry anymore comrades.

super macho dude posted:

I use a vagina.

Masturbation with a vagina isn't the same as intercourse with a vagina you necrophile.

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner

Grimey Drawer
the kind with gonorrhea

Ahundredbux
Oct 25, 2007

The right to bear arms
masterbate more like novicebate

Un chien andalou
Oct 22, 2008

The pipe is leaking
Cumming is for chumps. Edging 4 lyfe

Chris Awful
Oct 2, 2005

Tell your friends they don't have to be scared or hungry anymore comrades.

Un chien andalou posted:

Cumming is for chumps. Edging 4 lyfe

Your corpses would have the most amazing orgasma.

Abandon
Nov 23, 2006
i just feel sick and dirty and think how im glad theres nobody here with me

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014


Chris Awful posted:

Masturbation with a vagina isn't the same as intercourse with a vagina you necrophile.

Every hole's a goal, bro.

Abandon
Nov 23, 2006
i dont know sometimes i feel nothing and other times i feel like i'm falling and theres nothing but death

Fart.Bleed.Repeat.
Sep 29, 2001

only on tuesdays

King Zog
Apr 9, 2009
i prefer waiting a week before jerking it, both cum and smegma spray :)

Abandon
Nov 23, 2006
cant escape the overpowering stink of smegma

HereComesEverybody
Mar 2, 2007

a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

goofy style masturbator from years of holding the mouse with my right hand

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
lets just saythey call me 3 stooges

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
Neeaaaah nyuk nyuk nyuk woo woowoo woowoowoowooo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
"I'm spurtin'!" *exaggeratedly wipes face*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

Outpost22
Oct 11, 2012

RIP Screamy You were too good for this world.
I always wonder if my dead relatives are watching me from the aferlife.

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
2 hour marathon

Ahundredbux
Oct 25, 2007

The right to bear arms

Outpost22 posted:

I always wonder if my dead relatives are watching me from the aferlife.

I thought I was alone

plain blue jacket
Jan 13, 2014

IT DOESN'T STOP
IT NEVER STOPS
shamefully

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.
I am the kind that spooges all over your sofa when you let me sleep over.

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug


numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

total choke and stroker

pray for me, god is great, jesus is a false prophet

veilo
Jul 17, 2010

Never posts
When I was younger I was a spammer - I'd go for volume basically.

Now I am older and I am more of a connoisseur wank baron - I will sometimes wait a day or two just for the stars to align perfectly in every way - then I turn it into this whole ritual where i savor every part slowly.

SplitSoul
Dec 31, 2000

weedwhacker

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

a grumpy one bc it hurts every time i get a boner lol

Lotus Brony
Feb 21, 2012

by Cowcaster
Passive. If it wants to get off, let it do it on its own, I'm too busy living my own life. drat thing cums on its own about every two weeks, often while I sleep, leaving a real big mess for me to clean up. It's really spiteful and also tries to embarrass me when it senses a vagina around.

I should just get rid of it, tbh

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

by Ralp
Scathingly.

Technocrat
Jan 30, 2011

I always finish what I sta
Mechanically-assisted.

Though sometimes I prefer to call it "transhuman".

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

wow, hmmmm... gee, dont know

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

all kinds really

Rad Tad
Jul 2, 2014

masturbaters knew

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

phoenix asteroids...

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
Like a berserker, but with a dick, so exactly like a berserker.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
why would you ever need lube for jerkin a cock, i dont get it

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

and now this thread will degenerate into foreskin chat

Fart.Bleed.Repeat.
Sep 29, 2001

should probably just snip it right here

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.

Outpost22 posted:

I always wonder if my dead relatives are watching me from the aferlife.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

hey guys just to let you know im not cut i masturbate without any planning or extra things like lube 24/7 i never wash and collect smegma to make candles

  • Locked thread