Goku Facts

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Neurolimal: Nov 3, 2012

krillin imo embodies the cuck spirit the most out of the sega saiyans, why else would he marry a hot autistic robot then get himself killed constantly

peeping mr. satans dilz from heaven

# ? Aug 23, 2014 19:43

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 11:11

the fart question: Mar 21, 2007; College Slice

b b b but i always liked krillin

# ? Aug 23, 2014 19:43

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Mods please rename me to "Ape Awakening to the Void"

# ? Aug 23, 2014 19:44

Pochoclo: Feb 4, 2008; No...; Clapping Larry

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

Goku backhands Krillin hard enough to knock him to the ground--CRACK! The world reels as hot red pain sweeps over Krillin's bald head, but he stubbornly struggles to his feet. "Stay down!" Goku commands the mortal, driving a kick into Krillin's ribs--SMASH! The man falls back into a fetal position, groaning. When he tries to stand back up, he staggers, falls, and vomits. Greenish-yellow bile spoils the silken orange jumpsuit he wears.

"Are you gonna stay down, bro?" Goku shouts at Krillin.

Krillin paws at streaks of vomit. "Suck my dick, bro."

"Shouldn't have said that poo poo, dude," Goku growls, slapping Krillin on the top of his head--SLAP! His head thumps like a gigantic watermelon, and his eardrums instantly burn and ache. A bright pink hand print remains on his shiny scalp.

Fighting back the urge to dry heave, Krillin plants his hands in the dirt and props his body back up just in time to see Goku deliver a punch to his chest--WET CRUNCH! The hit lays him out flat against the ground. For several minutes, he cannot bring himself to breathe; it feels like every bone in his chest is broken and collapsed and crushed, and when he finally gasps for air, an overwhelming agony seizes his chest.

Goku grabs at the crotch of his silken pants and tugs at the material; there is a distance in his eyes, as if his mind is a thousand light-years away. "I bet you want a taste of the true ultimate power, don't you, you little bald human being..." Then there is only heavy his mouth-breathing and the soft swish-swish of his pants being adjusted.

Swish swish swish...

Krillin's eyes flicker; he slowly rolls onto one side and props himself up, but Goku places a boot on his chest and pushes him back into the dirt.

Swish swish swish...

"Are you ready?" Goku breathes.

Swish swish swish...

Don't stop, I'm almost there.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 19:47

ilikedirt: Oct 15, 2004; king of posting

im gettin surgury to make me more goku like so in a way i guess that makes me transgoku

# ? Aug 23, 2014 19:50

spirited: Nov 2, 2001; Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be thankful that once, along life's journey I found the unchanging Imperishable in you.

I used to break poo poo in handfuls and ooze virility after watching Dragon Ball Z as a kid. We're going to have a generation of queers now that grew up watching garbage like My Little Pony.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 19:54

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

I'd watch an entire 30-part miniseries comprised solely of Krillin suffering through various miseries. Krillin's wife grows a dick and attacks him. Krillin doesn't understand a joke and gets jumped by the rest of the group. Krillin's credit card is rejected and he has to suck 11 dicks to pay for his meal. Krillin eats a piece of fine cheese only to later discover that it was his mom. Krillin accepts Jesus Christ into his heart and Jesus takes over his body. Krillin eats pills to regrow his hair but he ends up growing tits (and is thrown in jail). Krillin participates in a soapbox derby but comes in last place and has to suck everybody else's dick. Krillin gets trapped in the bathroom and has to live on stool and makeup products for 3 days. Krillin blows out the candles and makes a wish that comes true, except it's one of those ironic wishes that ends up with a lot of kids trying to seduce him.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 19:57

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

spirited posted:

I used to break poo poo in handfuls and ooze virility after watching Dragon Ball Z as a kid.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 19:59

quakster: Jul 21, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

at the risk of committing cultural appropriation, i'm gonna go and say "tane"

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:00

Mom with a blog: Jul 15, 2009; Comedy is basically self-deprecation.

reposting from a rap battle thread a week or so ago

super saiyan 420 black baby goku
fighting with vegeta gives me time to do sudoku
krillin tien yamcha, part of the old crew
now i hang with future trunks namekians and young buu

cell on the scene operating system android
but i'm next-gen i-pod listening to pink floyd
give a call to capsule corp spring me a new whip
chi-chi in the next seat suckin' on that old tip

i met with frieza and i left him in the freeza
get advice from kame, he an old pervy geezer
now he's all mecha, call up the inspectah
deck on the other line he's a neck protectah

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:01

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

spirited posted:

I used to break poo poo in handfuls and ooze virility after watching Dragon Ball Z as a kid. We're going to have a generation of queers now that grew up watching garbage like My Little Pony.

My parents wouldn't buy me DBZ action figures, so I took it one step further and built little figures out of my own movements. There was Vegeta, and Goku, and Cell, and Freiza...leave them by the vents in the winter and the heat would bake them until they were hard as clay.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:04

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Swish swish swish

# ? Aug 23, 2014 20:07

CAPT. Rainbowbeard: Apr 5, 2012; My incredible goodposting transcends time and space but still it cannot transform the xbone into a good console.; Lipstick Apathy

The Void is just a poor man's CHIM.

quote:

Hortator pondered the first lesson of ruling kings, Vivec wandered into the Mourning Hold and found that Ayem was with a pair of lovers. Seht had divided himself again. Vivec then leapt through into their likenesses to observe, but he gained no secrets that he did not already know. He left a few of his own behind to make the journey worthwhile.
Then Vivec left the capital of Veloth and wandered far into the ash. He found a span of badlands to practice his giant-form. He made of his feet a less dense material than the divine to keep from falling waist-deep into the earth. At this point the First Corner of the House of Troubles, the Prince Molag Bal, made his presence known.

Vivec looked on the King of Rape and said:

'How very beautiful you are, that you do not join us. '

And Molag Bal crushed the warrior-poet's feet, which were not invulnerable, and had legions cleave them off. Mighty fires from the Beginning Place were brought like nets to hold Vivec and he let them.

'I would prefer,' he said, 'some kind of ceremony if we are to be married.'

And the legions that took the feet were summoned again and ordered to begin a banquet. Pomegranates sprang from the badlands and tents were raised. A throng of Velothi mystics came, reading the passages of the severed feet on the ground and weeping until the scriptures were wet.

'We must love each other briefly,' Vivec said, 'if at all. I am needed to counsel the Hortator in more important matters because the Dwemeri high priests stir up trouble. You may have my head for an hour.'

Molag Bal rose up and extended six arms to show his worth. They were decorated in runes of seduction and its reverse. They were decorated in the annotated calendars of longer worlds. When he spoke, mating monsters fell out. 'Where must it go?' he said.

'I told you,' Vivec said, 'I am meant to be the teacher of the king of the earth. AE ALTADOON GHARTOK PADHOME.'

With these magic words, the King of Rape added another: 'CHIM,' which is the secret syllable of royalty.

Vivec had what he needed from the Daedroth and so married him that day. In the hour that Bal had his head, the King of Rape asked for proof of love.

Vivec spoke two poems to show him such, but only the first is known.

I'm not sure just how much glass it took to make your hair
Twice as much, I am sure, as the oceans have to share
Hell, my sweet, is a fiction written by those who tell the truth
My mouth is skilled at lying and its alibi a tooth

The sons and daughters of Vivec and Molag Bal number in the thousands. The name of the mightiest is a string of power:

GULGA MOR JIL HYAET AE HOOM.

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

--- The 36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 12

Goku is Vivec.

# ? Aug 23, 2014 21:00

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

the 36 sermons of vivec are some drug poo poo lol

# ? Aug 23, 2014 22:57

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 11:11

DrManiac: Feb 29, 2012

the op can go to the home for infinite losers

# ? Aug 23, 2014 22:59

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