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texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

ilikedirt posted:

tips for u non football fans: DONT pick from the cleveland browns or oskland raiders. they are NOT the best teams in the league by leaps and bounds and DID NOT win the last 10 superbowls combined between them

Only pick players from "America's Team" Google it if you don't know who they are

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les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

Big Beef City posted:

You guys want some actual advice?
Go to Fantasy Football Calculator and go to the ADP page and select a 14 team league then pick the highest available player left on the board when it's your turn to draft I've seriously won like 4 leagues because of doing just that in every draft. It's retarded and people at drafts get fuckin MAD when you walk in with 2 sheets of paper and a pen instead of like magazines and binders and poo poo.

Woah this is exactly the poo poo i was trying to avoid by not going in the chat

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

It's good advice, Dad. You should take it and run with it

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

Big Beef City posted:

It's good advice, Dad. You should take it and run with it

I've already made up my mind that my drafting strategy is to pick players purely on the basis of the sound of their names

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Quickscope420dad posted:

I've already made up my mind that my drafting strategy is to pick players purely on the basis of the sound of their names

There's a guy named BenJarvus Green-Ellis.

His nickname is "Law Firm" because of how many names he has.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012
wwho is gay i want a progressive team?

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW
good luck to whoever goes thug league.

Like I said Tom Brady, Adrian Peterson, and just go down the line of people recently convicted of bad paretning / spousal abuse.

Thats a solid QB and probably the best RB there.

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

jalopybrown posted:

wwho is gay i want a progressive team?

richard rodgers look out 4 him hes V gay

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting
stop giving these fuckers tips u maroons!!!!! dont u want ur old friend ilikedirt to win?????????

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

jalopybrown posted:

wwho is gay i want a progressive team?

Michael Sam is gay but he plays on defense so you'd just have to draft "St. Louis Defense" which probably isn't a great idea imo

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





14 team leagues are for faggots


i wanted in

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

Quickscope420dad posted:

I have no idea wtf i'm doing and know nothing about american football players so i am literally going to pick players on the basis of the sound of their names

If you're serious about this, I love you.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





Quickscope420dad posted:

I have no idea wtf i'm doing and know nothing about american football players so i am literally going to pick players on the basis of the sound of their names

my brother got to our championship game by picking the funniest sounding black names. he knew nothing of football or how to play fantasy

Kazak_Hstan
Apr 28, 2014

Grimey Drawer
Prepare to lose at mathball, you greasy nerds.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

Big Beef City posted:

Michael Sam is gay but he plays on defense so you'd just have to draft "St. Louis Defense" which probably isn't a great idea imo

gay & black? he's on my list

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

SaltLick posted:

14 team leagues are for faggots


i wanted in

Still time to make another league brah, GBS 1.4 = 14 team league dude deal wit it

Scornful Sexbot
Sep 24, 2007


Dinosaur Gum
I read that the jets are gonna be really good this year in vanity fair I'm gonna draft all jets men. PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY DRAFT STRATEGY EVERYONE.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





texaholic posted:

Still time to make another league brah, GBS 1.4 = 14 team league dude deal wit it

i cannot currently deal

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012
:siren: less than 5 minutes :siren:



Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW
just buy up all the QBs and hold them hostage in exchange for players you want goons.

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW
Tex I expect you to do a good job on this and keep us updated with teams and scores as I am actually curious about who gets what.

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008
lol peyton took 1-1

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW

Waroduce posted:

lol peyton took 1-1

which payton?

E: im ar etard lol i was thinking manning.

E2: PROTIP

Don't get any giants. The giants are rear end for points.

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

Al Borland posted:

which payton?

E: im ar etard lol i was thinking manning.

E2: PROTIP

Don't get any giants. The giants are rear end for points.

cooltown coolguys selected the rams D/ST with the 10th overall pick, gotta love Michael Sam lol

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

ghlbtsk posted:

If you're serious about this, I love you.

Well then, lemme say that it's good to be loved

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW

texaholic posted:

cooltown coolguys selected the rams D/ST with the 10th overall pick, gotta love Michael Sam lol

lol is there an autodraft? Maybe he'll get two kickers everyone could use two kickers.

I mean holy poo poo a Defense for the 10th pick?

Holy poo poo a defense pick at all. :psyduck:

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008
i decided to go two wr to start, just to see how it worked out, and it sucked. def going 2 RB in my money leagues

Waroduce fucked around with this message at 14:36 on Aug 30, 2014

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
Poop Doop drafted Terrell Owens what a good decision



My draft:
code:
STARTERS		WK 1		2013 SEASON		WEEK 1
SLOT	PLAYER, TEAM POS	ACTION		OPP	STATUS ET		PRK	PTS	AVG	LAST		PROJ	OPRK	%ST	%OWN	+/-
QB	Drew Brees, NO QB  PBreaking News	
@Atl
Sun 1:00		2	348	21.8	--		--	29th	98.6	100.0	+0
RB	Reggie Bush, Det RBRecent News	
NYG
Mon 7:10		12	174	10.9	--		--	14th	97.5	100.0	+0
RB	Chris Johnson, NYJ RB	
Oak
Sun 1:00		8	189	11.8	--		--	28th	58.5	100.0	+0
WR	Larry Fitzgerald, Ari WRBreaking News	
SD
Mon 10:20		16	146	9.1	--		--	28th	96.1	100.0	+0
WR	Reggie Wayne, Ind WR  PRecent News	
@Den
Sun 8:30		68	61	3.8	--		--	22nd	30.6	100.0	+0
TE	Jason Witten, Dal TERecent News	
SF
Sun 4:25		5	127	7.9	--		--	14th	90.6	100.0	+0
FLEX	DeAngelo Williams, Car RB	
@TB
Sun 4:25		21	128	8.0	--		--	6th	14.0	100.0	+0
D/ST	Cardinals D/ST D/ST	
SD
Mon 10:20		5	164	10.3	--		--	4th	90.9	100.0	+0
K	Mason Crosby, GB KBreaking News	
@Sea
Thu 8:30		8	153	9.6	--		--	4th	96.3	100.0	+0
BENCH		WK 1		2013 SEASON		WEEK 1
SLOT	PLAYER, TEAM POS	ACTION		OPP	STATUS ET		PRK	PTS	AVG	LAST		PROJ	OPRK	%ST	%OWN	+/-
Bench	Tony Romo, Dal QBBreaking News	
SF
Sun 4:25		10	252	15.8	--		--	3rd	36.3	100.0	+0
Bench	Brandon LaFell, NE WRRecent News	
@Mia
Sun 1:00		50	86	5.4	--		--	4th	0.9	13.6	+1.1
Bench	BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Cin RB  PBreaking News	
@Bal
Sun 1:00		30	107	6.7	--		--	7th	0.5	6.9	+0.2
Bench	Steve Johnson, SF WRRecent News	
@Dal
Sun 4:25		56	73	4.6	--		--	22nd	1.0	17.6	-3.4
Bench	Jonathan Dwyer, Ari RBBreaking News	
SD
Mon 10:20		91	16	1.0	--		--	12th	0.0	2.0	+0
Bench	Mike Tolbert, Car RB	
@TB
Sun 4:25		40	83	5.2	--		--	6th	0.3	5.0	+0.4
Bench	Mike Williams, Buf WRRecent News	
@Chi
Sun 1:00		110	31	1.9	--		--	18th	0.3	4.3	+1.4

Scornful Sexbot
Sep 24, 2007


Dinosaur Gum
My team is pretty great I have Terrell Own's and Joanne Football so I am preemptively sorry for beating you nerd turds.

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012

elestupendojudio posted:

My team is pretty great I have Terrell Own's and Joanne Football so I am preemptively sorry for beating you nerd turds.

Actually my plucky band of rouges and outcasts will win, maybe you should watch some movies and learn how life works

yoyodyne
May 7, 2007
8 Marshawn Lynch, Sea RB
21 A.J. Green, Cin WR
36 Julius Thomas, Den TE
49 Keenan Allen, SD WR
64 Colin Kaepernick, SF QB
77 Maurice Jones-Drew, Oak RB
92 Darren Sproles, Phi RB
105 Sammy Watkins, Buf WR
120 Bernard Pierce, Bal RB
133 Carlos Hyde, SF RB
148 Devonta Freeman, Atl RB
161 Tavon Austin, StL WR
176 Lance Dunbar, Dal RB
189 Texans D/ST D/ST
204 Matt Bryant, Atl K
217 Aaron Hernandez, FA TE

I think I've got this.

texaholic
Sep 16, 2007

Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
Yeah aaron hernandez gonna bust out and score 50 tds

Fog Tripper
Mar 3, 2008

by Smythe

Al Borland posted:

just buy up all the QBs and hold them hostage in exchange for players you want goons.

by QBs you clearly mean RBs

Fog Tripper
Mar 3, 2008

by Smythe
As I mentioned in real chat, draft means poo poo. Game starts when players begin to get injured.

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien
when i said i have no idea what i'm doing i meant it

i just dropped most of my team under the impression i was about to refill it with more interesting player names

now i have a half-filled team and noone on the bench

i am the best

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting
*props up feet *

*lights cigar*

Kazak_Hstan
Apr 28, 2014

Grimey Drawer

Quickscope420dad posted:

when i said i have no idea what i'm doing i meant it

i just dropped most of my team under the impression i was about to refill it with more interesting player names

now i have a half-filled team and noone on the bench

i am the best

This would be a more lucrative opportunity if you weren't so lovely at drafting.

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

Kazak_Hstan posted:

This would be a more lucrative opportunity if you weren't so lovely at drafting.

tbh i literally barely even know what drafting is

I'm not a sport person

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW

Quickscope420dad posted:

tbh i literally barely even know what drafting is

I'm not a sport person

shoulda gone with my scumbag team suggestion.

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PureEvil6_13
Jun 1, 2004

I LIKE PETA AND THINK THAT SCIENCE IS EVIL
I am absolutely confident








that my team is going to be terrible.

Bengals D/ST D/ST
Golden Tate WR
Antonio Gates TE
Julian Edelman WR
Knowshon Moreno RB
Vincent Jackson WR
Andrew Luck QB
Eddie Lacy RB
Jay Cutler QB
Justin Tucker K
Bills D/ST D/ST
Bryce Brown RB
Nick Novak K
Doug Baldwin WR
Jonathan Grimes RB
Timothy Wright TE

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