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I put my two weeks notice in like a week and a half ago and I didn't feel like going so I just called up went "hey i've got insomnia and im not coming in, fuckos". what are your favorite excuses for not going into work?
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Aug 28, 2014 09:58
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 01:36 |
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making GBS threads blood from how bad you guys hosed me last night wont be coming in tonigh Said this last week
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Aug 28, 2014 09:59
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im gay
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Aug 28, 2014 10:00
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did the same thing op and i'm debating just telling them "go ahead and make something up you think is funny"
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Aug 28, 2014 10:22
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just cry into tnhe phone for as long as they'll let you while jacking off... it's the most rewarding way to go honestly
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Aug 28, 2014 10:25
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"i think i have fibromyalgia, the made up disease for people who want opiates."
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Aug 28, 2014 10:26
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I call out when I have a good book to read or would rather eat pencil shavings all day (every day).
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Aug 28, 2014 10:34
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"don't feel like it"
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Aug 28, 2014 10:56
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I guy called in last week saying "I've got the sickness" so I'd try that.
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Aug 28, 2014 10:57
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I quit a job by telling them I didn't like working there and they were blown away by someone actually being honest.
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Aug 28, 2014 10:58
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Said I was trapped in an elevator and couldn't make it to work once. Was with some people after a massive night of partying well into the next day and one of the girls called in sick citing a miscarriage. She was not pregnant obviously but her boss did not know that.
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Aug 28, 2014 11:01
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If i were you OP i'd just email them the url to your avatar they'll understand
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Aug 28, 2014 11:02
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"I'm not coming in because I'm sick...I just hosed my sister, it doesn't get any sicker than that." An excuse a guy the next hangar over actually used.
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Aug 28, 2014 11:03
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open ur own company and become a consultant u won't believe how much companies pay for software consulting u gotta b good tho
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Aug 28, 2014 11:03
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awesome-express posted:open ur own company and become a consultant Buy Dell Bro
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Aug 28, 2014 11:10
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Peanut President posted:I quit a job by telling them I didn't like working there and they were blown away by someone actually being honest. I did the same thing and the owner of the company, who I never even spoke to before, called me four times in the following week begging me to come back. I was like naw sorry bro. It was awkward.
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Aug 28, 2014 12:15
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my fav excuse is that i can't work alongside fuckos as they trigger me
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Aug 28, 2014 12:16
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I quit my job 2 or 3 weeks ago (I've been in a drunken insomniatic blur since that day). Came in, put my personals in a box, threw my resignation letter on the boss' desk and drove home. They treated me like poo poo, so I quit during their busy season. gently caress em. Oddly enough I quit my last job in the middle of a shift as well, they were pricks. You know, its like since jobs are scarce in Vancouver, business owners feel they can be huge assholes all the time for no reason.
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Aug 28, 2014 12:25
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Charles Bukowski posted:I quit my job 2 or 3 weeks ago (I've been in a drunken insomniatic blur since that day). Came in, put my personals in a box, threw my resignation letter on the boss' desk and drove home. They treated me like poo poo, so I quit during their busy season. gently caress em. Oddly enough I quit my last job in the middle of a shift as well, they were pricks. You know, its like since jobs are scarce in Vancouver, business owners feel they can be huge assholes all the time for no reason. What do you do? I'm asking for a layoff this morning
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Aug 28, 2014 12:32
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http://youtu.be/SeBjr8Bm_wA?t=7m41s
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Aug 28, 2014 14:01
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over the course of one lovely job i lost so many grand-uncles and grand-aunts it was tragic
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Aug 28, 2014 14:06
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i just tell them im having a really painful period. im also a guy
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Aug 28, 2014 14:10
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"Sorry boss I can't come in I caught the 'bola"
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Aug 28, 2014 14:11
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my boss is ridiculously indulgent because he doesn't want to pay out for someone one "formally qualified" in CAD. Hope this helps op
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Aug 28, 2014 14:11
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Wait can people just call in to work and get a paid day off? We actually have to get a doctor's note cuz otherwise people just take their allotment of legally mandated fully paid sick leaves whenever they feel like it
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Aug 28, 2014 14:18
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THE AWESOME GHOST posted:people just take their allotment of legally mandated fully paid sick leaves whenever they feel like it
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Aug 28, 2014 14:21
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THE AWESOME GHOST posted:Wait can people just call in to work and get a paid day off? We actually have to get a doctor's note cuz otherwise people just take their allotment of legally mandated fully paid sick leaves whenever they feel like it I have unlimited paid sick days but I think I need a doctor's note after five in a row. 
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Aug 28, 2014 14:21
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THE AWESOME GHOST posted:Wait can people just call in to work and get a paid day off? We actually have to get a doctor's note cuz otherwise people just take their allotment of legally mandated fully paid sick leaves whenever they feel like it Depends on the company. In large companies you usually have to get a doctor's note because it's a formal process. In small companies, for example mine, it's really up to the leaders of each department to notice if any of their people are abusing days off and cut down on that poo poo. As for the guys I lead, I don't ask for certificates or anything, and I usually say okay if they need to come in late or skip a day for any reason, I promptly forget about it anyway, gently caress tracking that poo poo. If you do it enough that I notice you doing it, it's because you're doing it a lot and then we're having a talk. It hasn't really happened to me, anyway, IT people are usually reasonable about these things. I know the guys in another department are terrible at assistance, but not my guys.
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Aug 28, 2014 14:26
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quit being a whiny bitch and just go to work.
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Aug 28, 2014 14:31
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Despite the generous sickness policy no one seems to take many sick days where I work. In other jobs where there has been some slimy semi-legal way to get out of it people used to call in sick constantly...
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Aug 28, 2014 14:37
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TOILETLORD posted:quit being a whiny bitch and just go to work. Lol scrub. Call your job and say everyone you know just died. I do it at least twice a month. They always fall for it.
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Aug 28, 2014 14:42
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Pochoclo posted:Depends on the company. In large companies you usually have to get a doctor's note because it's a formal process. In small companies, for example mine, it's really up to the leaders of each department to notice if any of their people are abusing days off and cut down on that poo poo. As for the guys I lead, I don't ask for certificates or anything, and I usually say okay if they need to come in late or skip a day for any reason, I promptly forget about it anyway, gently caress tracking that poo poo. If you do it enough that I notice you doing it, it's because you're doing it a lot and then we're having a talk. We legally get 3 weeks sick days fully paid and then like, a month half pay and another month unpaid. Vacation days carry over year to year but sick days don't so you'd get stuff like everyone being sick for the last 2 weeks of december GiantAmazonianOtter posted:I have unlimited paid sick days but I think I need a doctor's note after five in a row. Woah how is this not abused
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Aug 28, 2014 14:44
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I just go into work and get the whole office sick while I power through my illness. Sure I'm unproductive and a hazard to certain people, but you have to admire my work ethic.
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Aug 28, 2014 14:44
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"Suffered brain injury from a Blow J, can't come to work today" 2 weeks later "Gotta go for another brain scan to make sure there's no permanent damage from BJ incident. Won't be in today" True story. Still haven't found out if I have brain damage or not. I'd assume someone would call me if I did.
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Aug 28, 2014 14:45
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THE AWESOME GHOST posted:Woah how is this not abused Because if we abused it then we wouldn't be allowed to have nice things!
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Aug 28, 2014 14:46
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I usually just tell them I'm sick then hang up before they can ask any questions. And if I'm in the middle of the shift and feel like going home, I just swallow some dip(tobacco) and it makes you throw up then you feel better by the time you get outside.
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Aug 28, 2014 14:48
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THE AWESOME GHOST posted:Wait can people just call in to work and get a paid day off? We actually have to get a doctor's note cuz otherwise people just take their allotment of legally mandated fully paid sick leaves whenever they feel like it Every decent company I have worked for didn't give a poo poo about why you were out until after you used up your pto. Edit: granted I am talking about one or two days not a week or something... MisterFister fucked around with this message at 14:56 on Aug 28, 2014 |
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Aug 28, 2014 14:51
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I used to kill off fictional relatives and attend their funerals.
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Aug 28, 2014 14:56
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MisterFister posted:Every decent company I have worked for didn't give a poo poo about why you were out until after you used up your pto. Were your vacation days lumped in with sick days? Like PTO is a catchall and taking a sickday used up one of them? Ours are separate so like I said earlier people would end up taking sick leaves to bank their vacation days for later Also our population is lazy as gently caress so
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Aug 28, 2014 14:57
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THE AWESOME GHOST posted:Were your vacation days lumped in with sick days? Like PTO is a catchall and taking a sickday used up one of them? Ours are separate so like I said earlier people would end up taking sick leaves to bank their vacation days for later That sounds like a complete swindle. Sick leave is completely separate from holidays and we get something like 33 days a year. Boyfriend gets something absolutely retarded like 40 days a year and most people are on 20 or 25.
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Aug 28, 2014 15:03
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