what's your superpower?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > what's your superpower?

«‹›2 »

tao of lmao

I can pee sideways after drinking 8 cups of coffee a day for a month. What's yours?

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 00:53

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

I own a 1998 Toyota Corolla

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:09

Captain No-mates

i have the power to turn off my alarm merely by using 5 minutes worth of telekinesis

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:10

pig slut lisa: irl is good

extra arms (Hindu god)

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:12

tao of lmao

At a stop light, I can make it turn green if I say "annnnnd GREEN!" repeatedly until it changes.

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:13

Hobo Grandpa: "Trigger" is my trigger word.

My dog thinks it's pretty cool how I materialize his food out of nowhere 3 times a day.

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:17

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

I can bend my arms all the way around like hosed up inverted alien knees

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:18

tao of lmao

I have an unusually cool, dry taint, even in the hottest of weather. Ol' Cucumber-Gooch, that's what they used to call me.

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:20

Captain No-mates

i feel like the film inception ripped off my super power of planting ideas into peoples minds. for example if i want chocolate milk all i have to do is incessently whine about it to my mom for about a week and hey presto theres the chocolate milk and she doesn't suspect a thing

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:20

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

I can take perfectly good food and turn it into feces

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:33

Captain No-mates

Luvcow posted:

I can take perfectly good food and turn it into feces

wait are you the one who's been doing this to me my entire life???

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:35

FartGhost

i can produce fluids from my body that i store in my bathtub allowing me to have a free bath every few weeks

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:35

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Captain No-mates posted:

wait are you the one who's been doing this to me my entire life???

Yes, I am the feces fairy

I leave a nickel in your rectum

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:36

Lil Cunty

moist palms and clammy feet, regardless of the time of day, temperature and season

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:37

Captain No-mates

i can use a voice thats appropriate for talking inside, JOSH :argh:

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:38

Pinche Rudo

I can always tell a woman's bra size

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:54

FartGhost

i can move stuff around with my brain, like my arms for example

# ? Aug 28, 2014 22:58

Captain No-mates

FartGhost posted:

i can move stuff around with my brain, like my arms for example

this wouldnt be impressive normally but fartghost left out the fact that he is quadriplegic

# ? Aug 28, 2014 23:04

Diqnol

I can delete BYOB.

# ? Aug 28, 2014 23:07

treasure bear

I can fly but only about 1� feet high and only for a about a second

# ? Aug 28, 2014 23:59

GoodbyeTurtles

I can pee and poop at the same time!!!

# ? Aug 29, 2014 00:03

Machai

My power is that when I have to poop it turns out that whoever pooped last emptied the roll and didn't get another.

posting while stuck on the toilet

# ? Aug 29, 2014 00:38

Dexters Secret

i'm a sociopath

# ? Aug 29, 2014 01:15

Hexel

My pee stream splits in two after a wank

# ? Aug 29, 2014 01:34

gingerberger: Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

No More Heroes posted:

My pee stream splits in two after a wank

Mine splits, then comes back together, then turns into a snakes head

# ? Aug 29, 2014 01:47

brotherly: DEHUMANIZE YOURSELF AND FACE TO BLOODSHED

i can love with all of my being and heart another living inaccessible human being trapped across the fleshy void that is my own brain matter i can well and truly LOVE another defecating broken flawed piece of future dead meat i can leave despite the horror of the silence that waits for us all and that friend is my power

# ? Aug 29, 2014 01:50

gingerberger: Gotta love my Squirtle Swag

the brotherly phl posted:

i can love with all of my being and heart another living inaccessible human being trapped across the fleshy void that is my own brain matter i can well and truly LOVE another defecating broken flawed piece of future dead meat i can leave despite the horror of the silence that waits for us all and that friend is my power

so nothing; you could have just said your super power is nothing.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:02

Senior Management

no one likes me, I am playing pokemon y, and I have a valid driver's license. Clearly I am very talented.

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:03

tao of lmao

the brotherly phl posted:

i can love with all of my being and heart another living inaccessible human being trapped across the fleshy void that is my own brain matter i can well and truly LOVE another defecating broken flawed piece of future dead meat i can leave despite the horror of the silence that waits for us all and that friend is my power

i can fart the alphabet in morse-code

# ? Aug 29, 2014 02:04