psa: raise the dang seat on your bike

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > psa: raise the dang seat on your bike

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

riding a fixie on a trail is not unsafe at all because if u have the skill and the coordination u know when to stop, u just have to know what ur doing....

# ? Aug 31, 2014 22:04

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 00:07

naem: May 29, 2011

It is fun watching two guys with that heavy lidded look in their eyes, 100% content with their place in the world, both wearing weirdly coordinated outfits with tweed elbow pad jackets or rolled up pant leg short brim biker hat beardy punk rock clothing, both loose their collective poo poo and start trying to race each other, completely loosing their cool and effort pedaling past a bunch of bewildered lady shoppers

# ? Aug 31, 2014 22:31

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

naem posted:

It is fun watching two guys with that heavy lidded look in their eyes, 100% content with their place in the world, both wearing weirdly coordinated outfits with tweed elbow pad jackets or rolled up pant leg short brim biker hat beardy punk rock clothing, both loose their collective poo poo and start trying to race each other, completely loosing their cool and effort pedaling past a bunch of bewildered lady shoppers

And people say the midwest sucks

# ? Aug 31, 2014 22:43

naem: May 29, 2011

Big Beef City posted:

And people say the midwest sucks

The best is when they roll to a stop on their gearless bikes and try not to breath hard and act like WHAT I WASNT "TRYING"

# ? Aug 31, 2014 22:46

Acres of Quakers: May 6, 2006

naem posted:

Because of that law where you can't own a car and a bike yes, this is a post, that makes sense mmhmm

You put the bike in the garage because you think you'll ride it again later, once the baby is older. The baby comes, and for the next six months you exist in the sleep deprived haze that accompanies new parenthood. Ride the bike to work? gently caress that. If you take the car you can sleep an extra six minutes! Bike to the store? gently caress that. Mommy wants to get out of the house so you're all going. The bike continues to linger in the garage.

Half a year later Mommy takes your kid with her to a baby shower so you've got some time to yourself. It's a beautiful day, so you pump up the tires and take the old bike out for a spin. It's harder than you remember but you really enjoy yourself and vow to ride more often. You get home right as your wife pulls in the driveway and she gives you That Look. It turns out junior had a bad day. He pooped through his onesie, spit up in hour wife's hair, and cried anytime she tried to sit down and eat. She hands you the kid and storms in the house. You leave the bike propped up against the side of the house and head inside. That night it rains, but you don't remember to bring in your bike until Monday morning. Back in the garage it goes.

A year passes. Your first child is much more independent now and you have time to ride again. Unfortunately, the gears and cables have rusted and need maintenance before you can ride. You'll get to it next weekend. That night your wife tells you she's pregnant again and now you need to turn your office into a bedroom for your first born so the new baby can have the nursery. The work to your bike goes to the bottom of a very long list.

New baby comes and workload triples. But time passes again and there are brief moments a year or two later when everyone is occupied long enough to allow you to slip out for a ride now and then. You go out to the garage to dust it off and maybe see if you can even take it for a spin. What you find could be a metaphor for your own self. The chain is orange with rust, the gears are fused, and both tires are cracked with dry rot. You can't even sell it, because it would need eighty dollars worth of work before anyone would buy it, and money is tight right now.

You could kick yourself. You should've sold it two years ago when it had value.

Eventually, you put it out by the curb on trash day. Before the truck arrives a guy named Barry stops in front of your house and throws it in the rusted-out bed of his F150 with the skeletons of a dozen other old bikes.

TLDR: Sell it now, hipster.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:00

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Dirty Sanchez posted:

You put the bike in the garage because you think you'll ride it again later, once the baby is older. The baby comes, and for the next six months you exist in the sleep deprived haze that accompanies new parenthood. Ride the bike to work? gently caress that. If you take the car you can sleep an extra six minutes! Bike to the store? gently caress that. Mommy wants to get out of the house so you're all going. The bike continues to linger in the garage.

Half a year later Mommy takes your kid with her to a baby shower so you've got some time to yourself. It's a beautiful day, so you pump up the tires and take the old bike out for a spin. It's harder than you remember but you really enjoy yourself and vow to ride more often. You get home right as your wife pulls in the driveway and she gives you That Look. It turns out junior had a bad day. He pooped through his onesie, spit up in hour wife's hair, and cried anytime she tried to sit down and eat. She hands you the kid and storms in the house. You leave the bike propped up against the side of the house and head inside. That night it rains, but you don't remember to bring in your bike until Monday morning. Back in the garage it goes.

A year passes. Your first child is much more independent now and you have time to ride again. Unfortunately, the gears and cables have rusted and need maintenance before you can ride. You'll get to it next weekend. That night your wife tells you she's pregnant again and now you need to turn your office into a bedroom for your first born so the new baby can have the nursery. The work to your bike goes to the bottom of a very long list.

New baby comes and workload triples. But time passes again and there are brief moments a year or two later when everyone is occupied long enough to allow you to slip out for a ride now and then. You go out to the garage to dust it off and maybe see if you can even take it for a spin. What you find could be a metaphor for your own self. The chain is orange with rust, the gears are fused, and both tires are cracked with dry rot. You can't even sell it, because it would need eighty dollars worth of work before anyone would buy it, and money is tight right now.

You could kick yourself. You should've sold it two years ago when it had value.

Eventually, you put it out by the curb on trash day. Before the truck arrives a guy named Barry stops in front of your house and throws it in the rusted-out bed of his F150 with the skeletons of a dozen other old bikes.

TLDR: Sell it now, hipster.

People wonder why my wife and I don't have kids.

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:06

naem: May 29, 2011

Um or squirt some lube on there occasionally and DONT leave it in the rain?

Or get a $50 trainer stand before the first kid is born and ride your now exercise bike next to the playpen 20 minutes every other day?

Or don't have a kid?

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:08

a creepy colon: Oct 28, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

naem posted:

The best is when they roll to a stop on their gearless bikes and try not to breath hard and act like WHAT I WASNT "TRYING"

drat u sound like an angry fat

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:10

appropriatemetaphor: Jan 26, 2006

fixies are fun and different, i don't get why people ride single-speed bikes though. like at that point just get a geared bike

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:13

a creepy colon: Oct 28, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

appropriatemetaphor posted:

fixies are fun and different, i don't get why people ride single-speed bikes though. like at that point just get a geared bike

i get why x is fun, but y? thats crazy!

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:14

a creepy colon: Oct 28, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

its almost like i own a single speed bike AND a geared road bike w/o dying every day

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:15

wilfredmerriweathr: Jul 11, 2005

I own six bikes but all of them have multiple speeds

not hating on single speeds, just stating the facts here

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:16

naem: May 29, 2011

a creepy colon posted:

its almost like i own a single speed bike AND a geared road bike w/o dying every day

Well you must not own a car then because according to this thread's logic, babies

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:16

a creepy colon: Oct 28, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

wilfredmerriweathr posted:

I own six bikes but all of them have multiple speeds

not hating on single speeds, just stating the facts here

thats fine. i live in a city so im not riding the same bike i take on 60 mile rides to go 1.3 miles to the bar or wherever

i also dont use my mountain bike at the velodrome

# ? Aug 31, 2014 23:18

you irl: Jan 22, 2014

i have a hundred bikes and they're all fixed gears but different gearings so i just select the appropriate bike and carry the others on my back in case i reach a hill

# ? Sep 1, 2014 00:03

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

a creepy colon posted:

its almost like i own a single speed bike AND a geared road bike w/o dying every day

single speed is okay tho

# ? Sep 1, 2014 03:04

Reprisal: Jul 20, 2001

Lol at gibbis thinking biking is for poors.

Continue feeling smug in your car worth less than $50k you mongrels

# ? Sep 1, 2014 03:36

FIX SIGNS: Aug 29, 2006; You're fucking great,
just do what you can.

FogHelmut posted:

or a 30 year old ten speed racer with the handlebars turned up. both with the seat all the way down, ridden wobbly, against traffic

Literally shaking, right now.

# ? Sep 1, 2014 16:54

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

BigBoss posted:

So when I hit a bicyclist while doing 20 mph it's just a "fender bender", right? Nothing more than a moving violation, 2 pts and a $60 fine. Same rules, same road.

actually in boston its basically legal to run cyclists over lol

even if you kill one they usually dont even press charges

also, riding in the car lane is significantly safer & better for all than riding in a bike lane or sidewalk

i mean lol if you ride your bike on the sidewalk like some loving idiot

# ? Sep 1, 2014 16:56

a creepy colon: Oct 28, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

It's also illegal in most cities to ride on the sidewalk

# ? Sep 1, 2014 17:13

Fetus Tree: Feb 2, 2003; Can't post for 2 years!

a creepy colon posted:

It's also illegal in most cities to ride on the sidewalk

yeah but dont tell that to the idiot fatgoons who think cyclists are dumbshits for doing the smart thing lol

# ? Sep 1, 2014 17:14

naem: May 29, 2011

A lot of bike anger itt

# ? Sep 1, 2014 18:30

appropriatemetaphor: Jan 26, 2006

almost as bad as sidewalk riding is when people ride like right in the gutter two inches from the curb. like have some pride man, take that road.

# ? Sep 1, 2014 18:33

InterceptorV8: Mar 9, 2004; Loaded up and trucking.We gonna do what they say cant be done.

Sorry I ride my bike like a lowrider.

# ? Sep 1, 2014 18:44

Aves Maria!: Jul 26, 2008; Maybe I'll drown

Dirty Sanchez posted:

You put the bike in the garage because you think you'll ride it again later, once the baby is older. The baby comes, and for the next six months you exist in the sleep deprived haze that accompanies new parenthood. Ride the bike to work? gently caress that. If you take the car you can sleep an extra six minutes! Bike to the store? gently caress that. Mommy wants to get out of the house so you're all going. The bike continues to linger in the garage.

Half a year later Mommy takes your kid with her to a baby shower so you've got some time to yourself. It's a beautiful day, so you pump up the tires and take the old bike out for a spin. It's harder than you remember but you really enjoy yourself and vow to ride more often. You get home right as your wife pulls in the driveway and she gives you That Look. It turns out junior had a bad day. He pooped through his onesie, spit up in hour wife's hair, and cried anytime she tried to sit down and eat. She hands you the kid and storms in the house. You leave the bike propped up against the side of the house and head inside. That night it rains, but you don't remember to bring in your bike until Monday morning. Back in the garage it goes.

A year passes. Your first child is much more independent now and you have time to ride again. Unfortunately, the gears and cables have rusted and need maintenance before you can ride. You'll get to it next weekend. That night your wife tells you she's pregnant again and now you need to turn your office into a bedroom for your first born so the new baby can have the nursery. The work to your bike goes to the bottom of a very long list.

New baby comes and workload triples. But time passes again and there are brief moments a year or two later when everyone is occupied long enough to allow you to slip out for a ride now and then. You go out to the garage to dust it off and maybe see if you can even take it for a spin. What you find could be a metaphor for your own self. The chain is orange with rust, the gears are fused, and both tires are cracked with dry rot. You can't even sell it, because it would need eighty dollars worth of work before anyone would buy it, and money is tight right now.

You could kick yourself. You should've sold it two years ago when it had value.

Eventually, you put it out by the curb on trash day. Before the truck arrives a guy named Barry stops in front of your house and throws it in the rusted-out bed of his F150 with the skeletons of a dozen other old bikes.

TLDR: Sell it now, hipster.

This is a lot of words to say "I'm a fat piece of poo poo"

# ? Sep 1, 2014 18:48

newreply.php: Dec 24, 2009; Pillbug

im a casual biker that just does the occasional 40 km trip as a kind of HIIT and lmao @ the spandexlords that i pass by that barely hit 30 kph u should burn your spandex and give me your $5000 specialized

# ? Sep 1, 2014 19:22

naem: May 29, 2011

Those $5000 specialized help keep my $700 trek from gettin stolen though so A++ spandex guy

# ? Sep 1, 2014 19:35

Aves Maria!: Jul 26, 2008; Maybe I'll drown

yeah, im really appreciative of all the people with $2000+ bikes around here, it means I can pretty much leave mine lying around and it doesn't even get a sniff.

# ? Sep 1, 2014 19:45

you irl: Jan 22, 2014

my lovely giant got stolen so i got a sweet 60's raleigh now im into working on old bikes and steel is real and basically just a huge rear end in a top hat to everyone who rides a new bike

# ? Sep 1, 2014 19:49

naem: May 29, 2011

I spray painted over the name brand and dragged the frame through gravel, added hockey grip tape, feel p safe now

# ? Sep 1, 2014 20:00

Acres of Quakers: May 6, 2006

420DD Butts posted:

This is a lot of words to say "I'm a fat piece of poo poo"

No, it's not about me at all, it's about you. Didn't you see how many times I used the 2nd person?

I've never owned a bike. I have a couple cars.

# ? Sep 1, 2014 20:42

newreply.php: Dec 24, 2009; Pillbug

over here ppl with >2k bikes never leave them outside. hell people will saw through the pole it's attached to if the lock's too sturdy

# ? Sep 1, 2014 20:47

Aves Maria!: Jul 26, 2008; Maybe I'll drown

Dirty Sanchez posted:

No, it's not about me at all, it's about you. Didn't you see how many times I used the 2nd person?

I've never owned a bike. I have a couple cars.

And it's because you're a pasty lard rear end. Don't be jealous because you are unable to move of your own volition and need a giant piece of metal and plastic to get from your house to mcdonalds every day

# ? Sep 1, 2014 21:04

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

I agree OP.

Raise your seat. It's more comfortable.

# ? Sep 1, 2014 21:05

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

You can't tell me how to ride my bike motherfucker!

# ? Sep 1, 2014 21:08

Acres of Quakers: May 6, 2006

420DD Butts posted:

And it's because you're a pasty lard rear end. Don't be jealous because you are unable to move of your own volition and need a giant piece of metal and plastic to get from your house to mcdonalds every day

But I'm not jealous of bike riders, I think bikes are wonderful. As a matter of fact, I jus bought a new bike for my four year old. It's his favorite toy!

# ? Sep 1, 2014 21:16

naem: May 29, 2011

Dirty Sanchez posted:

No, it's not about me at all, it's about you. Didn't you see how many times I used the 2nd person?

I've never owned a bike. I have a couple cars.

Listen poster 420dd buttts, this guy's never even OWNED a bike, fucker cum lord, an that's why he's posted several very long oddly detailed screeds about how he, I mean you, left his bike out in the rain, here in the bike thread, because babies? And then his, I mean your, wife got mad, something something he owns a CAR thank you very much!!!

# ? Sep 1, 2014 21:17

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

a cop posted:

You can't tell me how to ride my bike motherfucker!

Too late OP already did.

# ? Sep 1, 2014 21:17

naem: May 29, 2011

I don't know what he's talking about, and neither do you, and neither does
He, but we're all just terribly upset alright??

# ? Sep 1, 2014 21:18

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 00:07

appropriatemetaphor: Jan 26, 2006

i did a skid stop into a traders joes bike rack and some girls said it was "sweet"

i sheepishly locked up the bike and went inside without making eye contact of course

# ? Sep 1, 2014 21:21

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