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what should i do
piss in the tea
wank on the biscuits
swear at the customers
work responsibly
other please specify
View Results
 
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Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012
What should I do to stick it to the man?

If it helps you decide, I work in a lovely tea shop.

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Tom Sellout
May 27, 2011

$240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.
jfc op watch clerks immediately. It's on netflix

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

kill a bird stick it under the shlef

Tom Sellout
May 27, 2011

$240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.
one day you will open your eyes and realize only you can answer this question. I will pray for you tonight

treasured8elief
Jul 25, 2011

Salad Prong
Be pleasant and kind to everyone

Nthman
Nov 3, 2004

Creepy
Treat everyone with respect and leave on a good note.

Rocket Baby Dolls
Mar 3, 2006

Normally I don't make aesthetic criticisms in other peoples' homes, but that rug looks like a beaver exploded. If meat is murder, then that rug is at least a severe beating.
Treat everyone nicely while wanking on the biscuits in full view.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

lonesomedwarf posted:

kill a bird stick it under the shlef

in britain bird means lady. that's dark man, real dark.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

Gypsum Fantastic posted:

in britain bird means lady. that's dark man, real dark.

its the same in australia but "bird" also means "that particular animal with the wings" dont blame me how your mind works

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

but yeah i meant kill a woman

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

lonesomedwarf posted:

but yeah i meant kill a woman

spose i could i mean what are they gonna do, fire me?

so far its tied between wank on the biscuits and work responsibly

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
Quit without telling anyone and watch as their empire crumbles because you were the one that held this fantasy together with chewing gum and paper clips. Then laugh.

Obeast
Aug 26, 2006
Õ_~ ANIME BABE LOVER 2000 ~_Õ
As the crowd stands in unison, they all repeatedly chant the same phrase, "PISS IN TEA! PISS IN TEA! PISS IN TEA!"

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Obeast posted:

As the crowd stands in unison, they all repeatedly chant the same phrase, "PISS IN TEA! PISS IN TEA! PISS IN TEA!"

The obvious way to pull this one off would be if i put on the lemon verbena blend for customer tasting as that poo poo smells like wee wee anyway.

Come on guys stop voting for work responsibly it was a comedy option, I'm not really gonna do that.

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

Hug everyone

Say something about tears in rain

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

tell forums user lonesomedwarf he can live iwth you in the united K. until he can move to mainland europe

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
Just sit there until your coworkers figure out you're not going to be very helpful on your last day. Laugh aloud as they call you a piece of poo poo and shake their heads with amusement and disdain. Wank on the biscuits.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

lonesomedwarf posted:

tell forums user lonesomedwarf he can live iwth you in the united K. until he can move to mainland europe

you can live in my shed, I've always wanted to have my very own australian in a shed would be so cool when i have visitors and theyre like who the gently caress is that and I'll be all like that's just my australian what lives in my shed

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
I'm Canadian, would that work too? You could call your shed a Canadian house, and everything I did would just be so loving Canadian.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

Charles Bukowski posted:

I'm Canadian, would that work too? You could call your shed a Canadian house, and everything I did would just be so loving Canadian.

Better idea, both come and live in my shed it would be like some kind of bromance/fish out of water sitcom where you both have to come to terms with your cultural differences as well as living in an englishmans shed.

Pannus
Mar 14, 2004

I've got a crawlspace in norway if anyone is interested

The Croc
Dec 19, 2004

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird!

OH YEAH!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIqeXSYc8nE

everytime

Lobotomy Bob
Jun 13, 2003

Panniculus Rift posted:

I've got a crawlspace in norway if anyone is interested

Dibs

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012
Episode 1 would be called 'the barbie'.

In an effort to appease his generous new host, forums user lonesomedwarf decides to organise a barbecue in my back garden. Forums user Charles Bukowski is not one to be upstaged and is worried this will grant lonesomedwarf first dibs on my spare room should it become available so sets out to hunt and kill a wild moose for the barbie. Unfortunately there are no mooses in Britain so he kills the next best thing, the neighbours dog. What's worse is that the neighbour has been invited to the barbie and is the local reverend. Lonesonedwarf proceeds to get shitfaced on fosters and it all goes tits up.

Chuck Tanner
Nov 10, 2012

by Lowtax
I think you should other please specify, op. That would be funny

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Dress up like Goku and act normal.

Greed is eternal
Jun 8, 2008
post on gbs instead of working

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
I don't think I could kill a dog. After all, what's going to pull your sled when you need to go to the liquor store?

treasured8elief
Jul 25, 2011

Salad Prong

Charles Bukowski posted:

I don't think I could kill a dog. After all, what's going to pull your sled when you need to go to the liquor store?

Reindeer

Ahundredbux
Oct 25, 2007

The right to bear arms
do you have a new job waiting?

Nude Bog Lurker
Jan 2, 2007
Fun Shoe
TOP DECK THE TOILETS

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

Gypsum Fantastic posted:

Episode 1 would be called 'the barbie'.

In an effort to appease his generous new host, forums user lonesomedwarf decides to organise a barbecue in my back garden. Forums user Charles Bukowski is not one to be upstaged and is worried this will grant lonesomedwarf first dibs on my spare room should it become available so sets out to hunt and kill a wild moose for the barbie. Unfortunately there are no mooses in Britain so he kills the next best thing, the neighbours dog. What's worse is that the neighbour has been invited to the barbie and is the local reverend. Lonesonedwarf proceeds to get shitfaced on fosters and it all goes tits up.

cant wait for espidoe two. but i have some issues with the reality of your story. first, of all, i dont drink any more, as it makes me feel real good then the next 5 days are like a terribly emotional hangover. second, i dont think austtralians really drink fosters. and i think the plural of moose is meece

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

third,

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012
Youre gonna have to start drinking again sorry British people will be confused if they see it on the telly and you don't fit their perceived stereotype, its a ratings thing. I think we also need another nationality and call it 3 men in a shed. It will be a smash hit.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

i meant to say terrible emotional hangover i dont get physically sick often except maybe a big headache but i dont think that changes anythying, i am sorry, i do not think living in a shed will work out....

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007
replace all the tea with Lipton and Celestial Seasonings

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

lonesomedwarf posted:

i meant to say terrible emotional hangover i dont get physically sick often except maybe a big headache but i dont think that changes anythying, i am sorry, i do not think living in a shed will work out....

The whole thing hinges on having an Australian shedmate i really don't want yo have to redo the script. What if we get a big name Australian actor to play you and if so any suggestions welcome as to who?

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

barry humphries

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

replace all the tea with Lipton and Celestial Seasonings

This was a nice thread about killing dogs and women and you just had to take it to far. You monster.

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America Inc.
Nov 22, 2013

I plan to live forever, of course, but barring that I'd settle for a couple thousand years. Even 500 would be pretty nice.

Gypsum Fantastic posted:

Youre gonna have to start drinking again sorry British people will be confused if they see it on the telly and you don't fit their perceived stereotype, its a ratings thing. I think we also need another nationality and call it 3 men in a shed. It will be a smash hit.
The third man would be a North Korean spy, who, upon reaching England in a 4x4 crate, would immediately ditch his loyalty to dear leader and somehow become the most relatable character.

America Inc. fucked around with this message at 12:21 on Aug 30, 2014

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