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https://secure.somethingawful.com/products/register.php
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Sep 2, 2014 02:59
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 21:20 |
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Sep 2, 2014 03:00
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73 page, 2903 post-long thread in which goons discuss jacking off to celebrity nudes like a blood sport
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Sep 2, 2014 05:19
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You had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song While you buttfuck a clown
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Sep 2, 2014 06:02
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your'e omm's vagine OP
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Sep 2, 2014 06:02
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THS posted:an unassuming commercial pilot has an incrdible epiphany and discovers the meaning of life and can explain it in a simple nononsense way that it will touch billions of ppl and he is so overwhelmed by this feeling of goodwill and wisdom that he has a seizure and when his copilot comes over to hlep his copilot is knocked in the head and he passes out somewhere over the indian ocean Isn't this a Chuck Palahniuk novel?
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Sep 2, 2014 06:03
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there was a kid at my elementary school (he was in special ed) and one day on popcorn fridays he had a bag and they were walking back to their room. due to his posture and limp every step he would sort of lean causing more and more popcorn to spill out. i hope he had enough to eat by the time he got back
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Sep 2, 2014 06:07
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The saddest thing I can think of OP is that we may never get to see JLaws sexy videos, for they are mythical.
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Sep 2, 2014 06:11
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losing to the last boss when you've almost killed him
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Sep 2, 2014 06:11
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being really ugly and horny and not having any hands also you have no money for prostitues
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Sep 2, 2014 06:33
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trying to make funny jokes on a internet forums because youre so fuckin lonely
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Sep 2, 2014 06:37
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listneing to the same stupid music on winamp every day and not having enough energy to tidy up your lovely room
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Sep 2, 2014 06:38
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You listen to a sad song. The song ends and your cat is dead.
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Sep 2, 2014 08:42
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a train thats do ugly and dumb even autistic ppl dont like it but it just keeps chugging along and eventually goes on to inspire the book the little engine that could. however the train strugggled w/ depression its whole life and eventually succumbed to suicide but the book pulishers sweep this fact under the rug in order to maintain sales of its perennial favorite childrens book
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Sep 2, 2014 08:56
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a superhero whose parents were murdered in cold blood in front of him and doesnt have any supe powers
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Sep 2, 2014 08:57
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a flame war between nubs that ends in an irl confrontation where they slap each other with there floop floopy scrawny wet noodle arms. neither gets hurt and they both wear out and get tired. then an irl cool guy thats unironically cool walks up to them and says "get a room, ladies" and flips a quarter at them thus burning them irl harder than they ever could have hoped online or in a fight betweenw them
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Sep 2, 2014 09:01
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That day you realized your Mom was just another person.
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Sep 2, 2014 09:10
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when u see a pic of your parents from before they had u and they both look so youthful and happy and alive. and when u look at them now they look haggard and downtrodden and depressed generally much more than other ppl their age . and u realize that ur p much the reason they look so beat up by life that u not only ruined ur own life but the life of two other innocent ppl who didnt deserve it and they still loved u unconditionally but that liove came at a price and that price is their happiness
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Sep 2, 2014 09:18
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lonesomedwarf posted:listneing to the same stupid music on winamp every day and not having enough energy to tidy up your lovely room the fact ppl still use winamp in the year of our lord, 2014 AD
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Sep 2, 2014 09:20
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im tired im lazy and i hate my life
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Sep 2, 2014 09:24
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this is NOT an e/n thread instead is a means for us to artistically express tragedy and cast it in such a light that it actually produces a kind of dark comedy OK get it thru ur think skulls
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Sep 2, 2014 09:27
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 The saddest.
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Sep 2, 2014 09:28
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a kite w/ a hole in it built by a child w/ cancer whos last remaining wish was to see it fly
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Sep 2, 2014 09:44
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a cat stuck down a drain meeowing to get out
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Sep 2, 2014 09:48
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This thread.
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Sep 2, 2014 09:49
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redshirt posted:This thread. redshirt whats wrong .ur very negative today are u ok
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Sep 2, 2014 09:53
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when people sass ilikedirt, makes me rly sad
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Sep 2, 2014 09:55
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this dumb lovely dead forum
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Sep 2, 2014 10:00
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ilikedirt posted:redshirt whats wrong .ur very negative today are u ok No im sad man, real sad.
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Sep 2, 2014 10:04
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redshirt posted:No im sad man, real sad. 
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Sep 2, 2014 11:07
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A Mexican rancher who has toiled his whole life working the land his family has lived on for generations. His skin weathered and leathery by the years of spending 12+ hours a day in the brutal sun. He has a lovely wife, two daughters and a son who helps him in his aging years. Over the years they have managed to live a modest and happy life. They are by no means rich or prosperous, but they have enough food to eat and sell and afford a few luxuries like television, comfortable furniture, framed pictures of their family hanging around the house along with other little knick-knacks in a nice cozy ranch house. One sunny morning the father and son are sowing the fields and planting the seeds, when they see a trail of dust billowing off the dirt road that leads by the ranch and as it gets nearer they see an imposing looking black SUV hauling rear end and coming to an abrupt stop at the house. Two masked men jump out of the car, both carrying AK-47s. They shoot up the front of the house then kick the door in. The father and son start running to the house, but the father, being older and feeble, trips over and twists his ankle. The son turns back to quickly help his father back up. The father says "no, go help your mother and sisters, make sure they are safe." In a shed near the house is a shotgun. The son quickly runs to it to grab it but by the time he makes it from the shed to the house the masked men are already speeding off. The son walks cautiously into the house and is horrified by what he sees. His mother -- who was moments earlier preparing lunch for the family -- is slumped over the sink, still on her feet with blood flowing from her head, swirling down the drain. One of the daughters is laying in a pool of her own blood in the living room, brandishing a chef's knife, presumably in a feeble attempt to fend off the attackers. The son calls out for his other sister but receives no response. Frantically, he searches the house but there is no sign of her. He runs back to his father and wordlessly lifts his father up to assist him back to the house. As the father enters the house he falls to his knees and and wails the wail of only those who have witnessed true tragedy can comprehend. The father and son embrace, overwhelmed by the magnitude of what has just happened. After what felt like hours the father says to his son, "son, I have been stashing money over the years in a hidden compartment in the shed. Go retrieve the chest. There is not enough to hire a reliable coyote but there is enough for you to be able to survive. You must go to The Beast and take it to America. In the chest there are the numbers and addresses of friends. The list is old, I do not know how many of them are still there, but you must try, son, you must try." "But what will you do?" the son asks. "That is for God to decide." The son retrieves the chest, fills it with some clothes and necessities, and tearfully departs from his father. The son had heard of The Beast but he had never seen it. However, at this point it seemed his only option to escape this nightmare, to escape the cartel, to perhaps make something of himself in the land of freedom. After many frightening days of traveling through small towns, deserts, relying on strangers for help and hoping they are not cartel, he finds his way to The Beast. "This is it. There is no turning back. When I make it to America I will write to my father to see that he is well." Of course at this point the father had taken the shotgun upon himself. All that the generations of his family had worked for and cherished had been wiped out. The son was the last vestige, the last link to a long history of a proud family. Eventually he makes it to America, where upon he finds a church that takes in people such as himself. He asks the priest if there is a phone he can use. After many failed calls, he finally receives a response from a friend of his father, who under the quiet of night brings him to his house. He feeds him and clothes him, gives him a mattress with sheets to sleep on. He had made it. He was in America, the land of the free! After several days of recovery his father's friend manages to fudge some documents and get him a job at a local Burger King. It was simple work, but it was work! He would now have money and could buy the things he saw on the television and live the American dream! He could marry a nice woman and start a family and maybe even someday his children would go on to college and achieve great things! His father would smile on him and his success from heaven. Mid-shift on his first day of work, the manager, a fat, balding, sweating, wheezing angry man yells at him to go clean the mens restroom. When he walks in, he sees this:  The thought creeps into his mind, "...maybe I should have stayed in Mexico."
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Sep 2, 2014 11:24
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Jesus Christ posted:A Mexican rancher who has toiled his whole life working the land his family has lived on for generations. His skin weathered and leathery by the years of spending 12+ hours a day in the brutal sun. He has a lovely wife, two daughters and a son who helps him in his aging years. and here I was gonna post about a robot who dropped its ice cream cone
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Sep 2, 2014 11:37
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Howard Beale posted:and here I was gonna post about a robot who dropped its ice cream cone that sounds pretty sad until you realize that robots can't own things, so that was never its ice cream.
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Sep 2, 2014 11:40
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a human being haha
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Sep 2, 2014 11:44
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serious norman posted:a human being haha thats not sad at all in fact it is something 2 be proud of how dare u serious norman
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Sep 2, 2014 13:05
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a river that runs through a village of ppl dying of thirst and desperate gor water but the river has been polluted by short sighted industralists so much that its undrinkable. inside a small home in the village is a baby crying for milk but it is so dehydrated it cant make tears. the mother looks longingly at the river, the decepyive source of life mere feet from her. death will soon come to this town, slowly but surely.
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Sep 2, 2014 13:09
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ilikedirt posted:a goon carrying a printer hes gonna fix in the rain several miles for a girl w/ a bf in the hopes she will touch him Can't be sad cause it made me laugh. The OP not postin. That makes me sad.
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Sep 2, 2014 13:10
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a robot that dropped his ice cream cone (the robot recently gained human status after being declared sentient and the first thjing he did was get a artificial tongue installed so he could taste icecream but....)
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Sep 2, 2014 13:11
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Those kids with the disease that slowly turns them into a statue. Like they start out normal and happy like any other kid then their skin and bones start to crystalize and slowly they can't walk, move their head, use their arms, open their mouth or blink their eyes. Eventually they're like a solid stone statue just staring blankly waiting for death to come. By then usually they're in their like 18s and they aint even gonna get laid they just gotta sit there all itchy and unable to even scratch it or tell anyone they're itchy.
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Sep 2, 2014 13:16
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 21:20 |
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these videos a dying old man singing u are my sunshine to his wife both knowing full well that this may be the last time they see each other https://www.youtube.com/embed/kVKl5pJGTyk?autoplay=1 a grizzled hipster takes the three legged dog that saved him from the grips of heroin addiction to the vet to be put down bc he cant bare to see his best friend in pain any longer http://vimeo.com/m/8191217
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Sep 2, 2014 13:18
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