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  • Locked thread
Berk Berkly
Apr 9, 2009

by zen death robot
Lets face it. Far to many men are gay these days and it all starts in the home. How can parents keep their precious man-child from turning into a taint-slurping cocksleeve?

Well, I have some tips guaranteed to work. Try these out:

1. Sports!

Nothing like manly, hetero exercise with other manly, hetero mans in tight clothing, exposing their glistening, well developed muscles as they competitively grunt and rub against each other for hours. A nice steamy shower together after to wash away all those sinful thoughts is the perfect way to cap the day.


2. Religion!

If there is anything that will put the fear of gay into a boy its Jesus and friends. Sunday school stories about whores of Babylon and how women are the cause of sin and strife in the world with their wiles and temptations. The only good women are virginal celibates who never have sex with men. Like your mom.

3. Abuse!

If all else fails there is nothing like good old fashion corporal punishment. Put that human being rear end on your lap, get out the paddle, leather bondage gear optional, and give that ripe pink rear end a few good whacks every day while making him say "Thank you Daddy~ Nnnnng~" He will be a red blooded woman fucker in no time.

No need to thank me. My son already is.

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Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
 

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
didnt read word one, op

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX
do esports count as sports? cause im not a dumbass jock

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

im gay

Berk Berkly
Apr 9, 2009

by zen death robot

ArtIsResistance posted:

do esports count as sports? cause im not a dumbass jock

Depends.

How big is your mouse?

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

THS posted:

im gay

Did you play sports as a child

EA Sports
Feb 10, 2007

by Azathoth
goatse them so they know the true horror of man rear end

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfR1TwosYQg

don't know if relevant but better than thread so far.

Stormfang1502
Jan 26, 2003

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Introduce them to Magic the Gathering, Warhammer 40K, or WoW. Then it won't matter if they're gay or straight.
Because they'll be incels.

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013
read one word of OP, if you guess which one it was you win a prize.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

its like if your dad fins you smoking and you have to smoke the whole pack but with dicks

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

mookface posted:

Did you play sports as a child

my parents tried

i was literally the kid in the far right outfield picking at the grass and sitting down and not paying attention

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
Hey guys. Whats up?

Having a nice bank holiday?

Berk Berkly
Apr 9, 2009

by zen death robot

I want to get in your game, if you know what I mean.

And what I mean is armpit deep intra-sigmoid colon fisting. With real-time commentary.

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN
just god drat let him be gay and be happy he's not loving all the fat girls he's usually hanging around

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
you could just castrate him then he can never go balls deep in another man, and if you time it right you can make bank off of his voice.

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX

Berk Berkly posted:

Depends.

How big is your mouse?

what the gently caress gently caress off dude dont ever make fun of my tiny hands

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

THS posted:

my parents tried

i was literally the kid in the far right outfield picking at the grass and sitting down and not paying attention

textbook gay

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
Just gently caress the gay away.

poopzilla
Nov 23, 2004

THS posted:

my parents tried

i was literally the kid in the far right outfield picking at the grass and sitting down and not paying attention

this was me as well. but the opposing team got wise and just started hitting everything to right field. So then the coach moved me to shortstop, not long after I took a line drive to the face. that explains a lot really


















it turned me gay

Stormfang1502
Jan 26, 2003

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

poopzilla posted:

this was me as well. but the opposing team got wise and just started hitting everything to right field. So then the coach moved me to shortstop, not long after I took a line drive to the face. that explains a lot really


















it turned me gay

Even as a child he was no stranger to balls in the face.

poopzilla
Nov 23, 2004

Stormfang1502 posted:

Even as a child he was no stranger to balls in the face.

its true

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

butplug accident posted:

didnt read word one, op

i skimmed, was not impressed

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013
I read exactly one world of the OP, voted 1. Guess which word it was, win a prize.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 8 days!
Like taking a small amount of poison every day makes you immune to a full dose can you give you son a small dose of homo every day to immunize him from full homo?

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013

Bip Roberts posted:

Like taking a small amount of poison every day makes you immune to a full dose can you give you son a small dose of homo every day to immunize him from full homo?

Your mom giving you a small amount of lead paint every day sure didn't immunize you from being retarded, so probably no.

landy.
Jan 20, 2014
Lipstick Apathy

Morkyz posted:

I read exactly one world of the OP, voted 1. Guess which word it was, win a prize.

Berk

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013
sorry i said that

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
U don't show up with a beard, u outada will. How bout that Kelly girl?

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

Go gay yourself

No one wants to grow up to be like their dad

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax
There must be some sort of fetal testing by now?

Think Thin!
Sep 17, 2006
lol

(cummmm)

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

PyPy
Sep 13, 2004

by vyelkin
:nms:http://youtu.be/eJm2neag9NU:nms:

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.
Cut his balls off.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 8 days!

Maoist Pussy posted:

There must be some sort of fetal testing by now?

If the test strip turns pink take a trip to the planned parenthood.

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
Suck his dick

BottledBodhisvata
Jul 26, 2013

by Lowtax
Have you tried loving him in the rear end OP

If you teach him to hate it at an early age he'll never want to experiment when he's older

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Berk Berkly
Apr 9, 2009

by zen death robot

BottledBodhisvata posted:

Have you tried loving him in the rear end OP

If you teach him to hate it at an early age he'll never want to experiment when he's older

So you are saying I should cuckhold my wife with my own gay son?

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