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well?
ya sure op
not sure op
resume please op
op
View Results
 
  • Locked thread
klapman
Aug 27, 2012

this char is good
an office job where i sit around and pretend to work all day, and also you give me mad benefits and 3 weeks of vacation time. thank you, get back to me asap

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Lee Harvey Oswald
Mar 17, 2007

by exmarx
you dont want a job

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
Post your resume and I'll see what can be done.

What's your religion and sexual orientation ?

klapman
Aug 27, 2012

this char is good
im gaytheist

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting
*gives u handjob*

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

by Ralp
"Gimme a job where I do nothing"

*gets job given to them*

"This is too hard, Im not going to turn up regularly and eventually I'll get fired because Im a lazy piece of poo poo who cant even find my own job"

klapman
Aug 27, 2012

this char is good

Rapman the Cook posted:

"Gimme a job where I do nothing"

*gets job given to them*

"This is too hard, Im not going to turn up regularly and eventually I'll get fired because Im a lazy piece of poo poo who cant even find my own job"

this is actually what'll happen so keep that in mind please potential employers

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
I'll trade you for a week for half my pay. Note: it's the opposite of the OP

lol but
Feb 24, 2007

body is a dinosaur
Slippery Tilde
klapman, haveyou ever considered not working and then just killing yourself when the money runs out?

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
I know you keep hearing (from the Man) that crime doesn't pay, but that's only if you're dumb. Try crime

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW

klapman posted:

an office job where i sit around and pretend to work all day, and also you give me mad benefits and 3 weeks of vacation time. thank you, get back to me asap

I'll pay you three times what I'm currently paying you. You start work tomorrow. Your desk is in Antarctica.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
After looking at your resume klapman we regret to inform you that we're going to go in another direction. We'll keep your resume on file in case something fitting your qualifications comes up.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

Gaunab posted:

After looking at your resume klapman we regret to inform you that we're going to go in another direction. We'll keep your resume on file in case something fitting your qualifications comes up.

HR speak for gently caress OFF.

Jose Mengelez
Sep 11, 2001

by Azathoth
54m florida seeks sissy cumpig for small dick humiliation and pissplay (no blacks)

fatal oopsie-daisy
Jul 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich
maybe first you should think about finishing that ged

pigdog
Apr 23, 2004

by Smythe
3 weeks of vacation time lol

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

Jose Mengelez posted:

54m florida seeks sissy cumpig for small dick humiliation and pissplay (no blacks)

e: bring me the ball-sack of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi OP and I'll pay you :10bux:

SirEvelynTremble fucked around with this message at 15:41 on Sep 2, 2014

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

nig nog tryin to get a steady beezy

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!
I can give you a job, a handjob :twisted:

Inevitable
Jul 27, 2007

by Ralp
I'll give you a tonguepunch my fartbox job

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

klapman posted:

an office job where i sit around and pretend to work all day, and also you give me mad benefits and 3 weeks of vacation time. thank you, get back to me asap

Sorry, that position has been filled by my fat rear end.

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
You're young and you have your health. What do you want with a job?

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

serious norman posted:

I can give you a job, a handjob :twisted:

fuckin lmao

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting
i got a job for u right here op *points at hand* ya u got that right. its hand job

buglord
Jul 31, 2010

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Buglord
a handjob is better than a handout

MegaGatts
Dec 12, 2004

The Enteroctopus dofleini, also known as the giant Pacific octopus (GPO) or North Pacific giant octopus, is a large marine cephalopod belonging to the phylum Mollusca and is tripping balls.
Has anyone made a hand job joke yet?

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting
hey op my hands got a job for u... and the paycheck is cum from youre weiner

MegaGatts
Dec 12, 2004

The Enteroctopus dofleini, also known as the giant Pacific octopus (GPO) or North Pacific giant octopus, is a large marine cephalopod belonging to the phylum Mollusca and is tripping balls.
Cause if no one made the joke yet I could make it. hey op, how about a HAND job?

ilikedirt
Oct 15, 2004

king of posting

MegaGatts posted:

Cause if no one made the joke yet I could make it. hey op, how about a HAND job?

holy sh*t lol hahaha

im voting this thread a 5 ( the number of fingers on my hand [that im giving u a handjob w/])

MegaGatts
Dec 12, 2004

The Enteroctopus dofleini, also known as the giant Pacific octopus (GPO) or North Pacific giant octopus, is a large marine cephalopod belonging to the phylum Mollusca and is tripping balls.

ilikedirt posted:

holy sh*t lol hahaha

im voting this thread a 5 ( the number of fingers on my hand [that im giving u a handjob w/])

I'd give you a high five but my hands are busy giving the hand jobs

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009

by Ralp
get officially diagnosed with all the mental illness you have and start collecting that disability check op.

Inevitable
Jul 27, 2007

by Ralp
Yeah, OP, I'll give you a SNOW job.

Dr Strangepants
Nov 26, 2003

Mein Führer! I can dance!
i too would like a job, hand or otherwise

i think you will find i'm an UP AND CUMMER

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
here yuou go

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


I can get you a hand job, will that do?

baw
Nov 5, 2008

RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY
jobs are basically idiot bullshit, for morons

RabbitWizard
Oct 21, 2008

Muldoon

klapman posted:

an office job where i sit around and pretend to work all day, and also you give me mad benefits and 3 weeks of vacation time. thank you, get back to me asap

3 weeks vacation? 15 work days? What kind of backwards retarded third world slave country are you from that this is great?

Dr Strangepants
Nov 26, 2003

Mein Führer! I can dance!

RabbitWizard posted:

3 weeks vacation? 15 work days? What kind of backwards retarded third world slave country are you from that this is great?

my last job got me 2.5 weeks vacation per year, which we were not allowed to take lol

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

klapman posted:

an office job where i sit around and pretend to work all day, and also you give me mad benefits and 3 weeks of vacation time. thank you, get back to me asap

same

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Hexel
Nov 18, 2011




klapman posted:

an office job where i sit around and pretend to work all day, and also you give me mad benefits and 3 weeks of vacation time. thank you, get back to me asap

Have you tried https://www.usajobs.gov/

  • Locked thread