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  • Locked thread
redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
Actually like a couple of days ago but I'm prepared to answer questions.

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Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
are you still allowed in SeaWorld?

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

was it good

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
What's his name

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

mookface posted:

What's his name

plumper fuckbus posted:

hows your rear end in a top hat lol

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

hows your rear end in a top hat lol

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

THS posted:

was it good

Awesome.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

VikingSkull posted:

are you still allowed in SeaWorld?

lol totally.

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

VikingSkull posted:

are you still allowed in SeaWorld?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
It was like a week long thing too.

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004
How long did you last?

Chumbawumba4ever97
Dec 31, 2000

by Fluffdaddy

I am Toni Lippi posted:

How long did you last?

redshirt posted:

It was like a week long thing too.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

I am Toni Lippi posted:

How long did you last?

Literally minutes.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

redshirt posted:

It was like a week long thing too.

And then they started to smell I know that game

sounds pretty tough
May 17, 2012

Being an asshole is just part of my manly essence
you're fuckin lyin

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


I read the thread title and instantly though of the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
Im hopin she's preggers.

rootphreak
May 16, 2008

HO HO HO
SPREAD EM FOR SANTA

pixaal posted:

I read the thread title and instantly though of the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

unironically same

Pulp Can Move
Oct 4, 2012

redshirt posted:

It was like a week long thing too.
Your hand must look like the top of Gandalf's staff right now.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
Approximately how many positions did you sex in?

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy
did you put your ding-ding in her hoohah?

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Approximately how many positions did you sex in?

there's more than two?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Approximately how many positions did you sex in?

Like, lots. It was a whole week.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Party Next Door
Aug 2, 2014

by XyloJW
It's funny. I have only had "real" sex with one girl. It was a mutual attraction and neither wanted anything for it, just sex with each other. Every other woman since the 11th grade has been a sex worker. My orgasm don't even feel good anymore. I just do it, because I am a (relatively) young man, and I feel like I am supposed to have "sex". But it's not real sex. I have forgotten what it feels like to make love.

sounds pretty tough
May 17, 2012

Being an asshole is just part of my manly essence
fuckin buzzkillington

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Party Next Door posted:

It's funny. I have only had "real" sex with one girl. It was a mutual attraction and neither wanted anything for it, just sex with each other. Every other woman since the 11th grade has been a sex worker. My orgasm don't even feel good anymore. I just do it, because I am a (relatively) young man, and I feel like I am supposed to have "sex". But it's not real sex. I have forgotten what it feels like to make love.

go on

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Party Next Door posted:

It's funny. I have only had "real" sex with one girl. It was a mutual attraction and neither wanted anything for it, just sex with each other. Every other woman since the 11th grade has been a sex worker. My orgasm don't even feel good anymore. I just do it, because I am a (relatively) young man, and I feel like I am supposed to have "sex". But it's not real sex. I have forgotten what it feels like to make love.

craigslist

Party Next Door
Aug 2, 2014

by XyloJW

I haven't had a girlfriend in nearly ten years. I would lie to myself and say it didn't bother but it does. I have missed out on a decade of emotional development and relating to woman. I have no idea how to be in a relationship with a woman. I will be thirty in a few years and don't know how to kiss, or unhook a bra strap.

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

Party Next Door posted:

I haven't had a girlfriend in nearly ten years. I would lie to myself and say it didn't bother but it does. I have missed out on a decade of emotional development and relating to woman. I have no idea how to be in a relationship with a woman. I will be thirty in a few years and don't know how to kiss, or unhook a bra strap.

get swole

Party Next Door
Aug 2, 2014

by XyloJW

I have tried that. One was a fat middle aged lady where I couldn't get hard, and the other was a cuckold couple and I couldn't get hard because the guy was staring at me.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
seriously

craigslist


go get you something broken

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

you have to lvoe yourself before you can love someone else friend

sounds pretty tough
May 17, 2012

Being an asshole is just part of my manly essence

Party Next Door posted:

I haven't had a girlfriend in nearly ten years. I would lie to myself and say it didn't bother but it does. I have missed out on a decade of emotional development and relating to woman. I have no idea how to be in a relationship with a woman. I will be thirty in a few years and don't know how to kiss, or unhook a bra strap.

you should totally just keep loving hookers and thinking about your paralyzing social anxiety. I think that is the best way to get things sorted out. Oh yea, also go onto a forum full of depraved assholes and vent about your problems too that should clean your life up in a fuckin jiffaroo!

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
I don't believe op

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Party Next Door posted:

I have tried that. One was a fat middle aged lady where I couldn't get hard, and the other was a cuckold couple and I couldn't get hard because the guy was staring at me.

maybe you need to feel a sense of power and total control to get hard

sounds pretty tough
May 17, 2012

Being an asshole is just part of my manly essence

mookface posted:

maybe you need to feel a sense of power and total control to get hard

why does every thread have to be about rape?

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Party Next Door posted:

I have tried that. One was a fat middle aged lady where I couldn't get hard, and the other was a cuckold couple and I couldn't get hard because the guy was staring at me.

wow.

that's just sad.

I mean, I got to be a sad loving bastard during my divorce, but goddamn.


get a big dog, take it to the park, and let it drag your rear end around for some cardio (you probably fat gently caress) for a few months. also dogs are women magnets. and being in your 30s, single, with no kids, is kinda loving awesome as hell, you're missing out.



or just do drugs.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
when?

exactly?

so i can picture what i was doing

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A Spider Covets
May 4, 2009


pics or it didn't happen!! ha ha ha

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