psa: raise the dang seat on your toliet

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > psa: raise the dang seat on your toliet

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fuck. marry. t-rex: Jan 23, 2014; Lipstick Apathy

MENS RIGHTS, NOW

# ? Sep 6, 2014 07:54

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:57

Kazak_Hstan: Apr 28, 2014; Grimey Drawer

But what about pooping?

# ? Sep 6, 2014 08:02

Dragonstoned: Jan 15, 2006; MR. DOG WITH BEES IN HIS MOUTH AND WHEN HE BARKS HE SHOOTS BEES AT YOU
by Roger Hargreaves

Kazak_Hstan posted:

But what about pooping?

# ? Sep 6, 2014 08:04

Kelfeftaf: Sep 9, 2011

who cares

# ? Sep 6, 2014 08:06

bunky: Aug 29, 2004

like, vertically higher? so there's more distance from the bowl to your butt? i dig it. i was thinking like 4 feet or something. ill make the website.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 08:14

warderenator: Nov 16, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

am i still a man if i always sit down on the toilet?

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:06

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

getting a prince albert doesnt make you a sex god it makes you have to sit down to pee, forever, unless you want to piss all over the place and down the front of your pants

at that point you might as well start wearing heels and a dress

on that note just stand up and pee with the seat down, they oughta know to check and wipe first

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:08

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

i just piss all over the seat, op

i also pluck out some large, spindly pubes and season the seat with them for good measure

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:25

kode54: Nov 26, 2007; aka kuroshi; Fun Shoe

I raise the seat whenever I need to piss. Then I put the seat down and close the loving lid, because I don't want my cats drinking the water, because we use those gel blob treatments to keep the bowls fresh.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:32

Papa Daedalus: Aug 11, 2014

I cant physically poo poo unless i'm squatting off the top of a stepladder.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:41

kode54: Nov 26, 2007; aka kuroshi; Fun Shoe

Seriously, why the gently caress do you think toilet seats have lids? Close that poo poo up, you lazy gently caress.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:46

Kelfeftaf: Sep 9, 2011

if you actually give a poo poo about this, you should kill yourself

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:52

kode54: Nov 26, 2007; aka kuroshi; Fun Shoe

Kelfeftaf posted:

if you actually give a poo poo about this, you should kill yourself

I'll kill house guests who won't put the cover down when they're done instead. Actually, instead, I'll just quietly put it down for them and never say a word, because I'm beta as gently caress.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:56

Nut to Butt: Apr 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

your words hold no power here, for we are all toiletlords

# ? Sep 6, 2014 09:59

kode54: Nov 26, 2007; aka kuroshi; Fun Shoe

idgi, what purpose does leaving the seat up serve? Or is there no logic involved?

# ? Sep 6, 2014 10:07

Papa Daedalus: Aug 11, 2014

YOU WANT LOGIC?!

ok

I pee more than I poop, therefore leaving the seat up removes unneeded exertion on my flabby bingo wing arms on repeated pee trips after drinking a family size bottle of mountain dew.

When it inevitably becomes time to release the brown deluge, seat goes down.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 10:56

kode54: Nov 26, 2007; aka kuroshi; Fun Shoe

Okay, you got me there. I also leave my pants perpetually unzipped, so my dick is ever ready to emerge.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 11:00

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

i pee pee in my pants

# ? Sep 6, 2014 11:03

kode54: Nov 26, 2007; aka kuroshi; Fun Shoe

I must, too, somehow, for every day when I change them, they reek of piss. Or it could be crotch sweat. Yeah, that's it. Crotch sweat.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 11:14

Woden: May 6, 2006

kode54 posted:

Okay, you got me there. I also leave my pants perpetually unzipped, so my dick is ever ready to emerge.

I put the lid back on my family sized mountain dew after every sip.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 11:15

kode54: Nov 26, 2007; aka kuroshi; Fun Shoe

Woden posted:

I put the lid back on my family sized mountain dew after every sip.

I use a straw. And I drink soda out of mason jars, because I'm either a hipster or a poor, or both.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 11:17

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

imo everyone should just leave the seat however they want

if its down and i need to pee ill probably lift it if im not drunk

if its down and i need to poo poo and there's piss and pubes on the seat ill just get a woman to clean it first

not like im gonna poo poo with the seat up thats crazy

# ? Sep 6, 2014 11:18

lonesomedwarf: Mar 22, 2010

i piss in the cistern

# ? Sep 6, 2014 11:28

kode54: Nov 26, 2007; aka kuroshi; Fun Shoe

I once pooped in the cistern. Good thing I moved out of that place.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 11:56

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

lol if you don't just piss in an empty Gatorade bottle and then toss it by the side of the highway.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 13:09

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Aug 15, 2007; Smoke 'em if you gottem!; Dinosaur Gum

Trixie Hardcore posted:

lol if you don't just piss in an empty Gatorade bottle and then toss it by the side of the highway.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 13:18

Maneck: Sep 11, 2011

kode54 posted:

Seriously, why the gently caress do you think toilet seats have lids? Close that poo poo up, you lazy gently caress.

This. Who the hell leaves the seat up when flushing? That sprays the contents of the toilet all over the bathroom if the lid is not in position.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 13:20

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Yivgev posted:

i pee pee in my pants

Like this? http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-a-Courtesy-Pee

# ? Sep 6, 2014 14:12

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

Angela Christine posted:

Like this? http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-a-Courtesy-Pee

Be sure to CHOOSE the manner in which you pee your pants and do it intentionally.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 14:20

Yabanjin: Feb 13, 2007; I AM smiling.

# ? Sep 6, 2014 14:21

Kurnugia: Sep 2, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

i usually pee sitting down

# ? Sep 6, 2014 14:25

Throwdini: Aug 2, 2006

women speak in disrespectful way toward men, these days

# ? Sep 6, 2014 15:01

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

i put the seat back down because womenfolk have bad memories are and likely to fall in because they don't look before they plop they asses down

# ? Sep 6, 2014 15:05

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

Throwdini posted:

women speak in disrespectful way toward men, these days

# ? Sep 6, 2014 15:05

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

Trixie Hardcore posted:

rofl

# ? Sep 6, 2014 15:06

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

Angela Christine posted:

Like this? http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-a-Courtesy-Pee

quote:

Surprisingly, courtesy pees are often easier to disguise in large crowds. There is too much else going on and nobody is expecting you to be urinating. Take advantage of this.

Underwear with a thick crotch will probably get thoroughly soaked. Some people enjoy this. If you discover that you like soaking your underwear, you may prefer to wear skirts.

Courtesy peeing can be addictive. If you don't want to find yourself addicted to peeing through your underwear, DON'T START.

The better you get at it the more you will want to do it and your laundry bill will go up.