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OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]
but cause you are taking a huge poo poo and need more fiber in your diet

or like you sit down and just comes out a big liquidity mess and everyone can hear how explosive your rear end is

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Harald
Jul 10, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
:agreed:

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




Scientists say going number two in public restrooms is always a horrifying experience news at 12.

potee
Jul 23, 2007

Or, you know.

Not fine.
Some guy at my office seriously needs to see several doctors about the fact that he sprays the full contents of a bloodmobile out his rear end all over the drat place and then doesn't flush

like weekly this happens

doctor 7
Oct 10, 2003

In the grim darkness of the future there is only Oakley.

the Pixies fukken SUCKED
Jul 16, 2003

Figure 2 in a series of 3
sorry you have faucet rear end, op

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien
This is the thread we have all been waiting for thanks OP

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
public restrooms bring out some of the worst in humanity

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

potee posted:

Some guy at my office seriously needs to see several doctors about the fact that he sprays the full contents of a bloodmobile out his rear end all over the drat place and then doesn't flush

like weekly this happens

Well, you only see it maybe once a week. It's probably happening more regularly than you are personally experiencing

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




potee posted:

Some guy at my office seriously needs to see several doctors about the fact that he sprays the full contents of a bloodmobile out his rear end all over the drat place and then doesn't flush

like weekly this happens

You should seriously leave a note saying "To whomever drops the blood dueces you need to go see a doctor." realpoast.

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]
or the dude who walks in while on his phone having a really intense argument, except you don't actually know that since hes speaking in rapid fire spanish so it could be just a normal convo and pauses a little everytime your bowel movements are loud enough to echo and you know the other person heard.

END OF AN ERROR
May 16, 2003

IT'S LEGO, not Legos. Heh


does anyone else do the obligatory foot shuffle noise or a little cough when you are pooping and someone else comes into the bathroom? you know, to let them know you're in there.

poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



Nelson Mandingo posted:

Scientists say going number two in public restrooms is always a horrifying experience news at 12.

the key is to find the family restroom or whatever, its a single unisex bathroom with a clean toilet and a locking door, hidden around the corner

Throwdini
Aug 2, 2006

gggiiimmmppp posted:

the key is to find the family restroom or whatever, its a single unisex bathroom with a clean toilet and a locking door, hidden around the corner

your only allowed to use that to poop with family. had to learn that one the hard way

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC
I have crippling stage fright in public toilets that seems can only be cured by a few tinctures of whiskey. Once I've got that warmth in my belly I am overcome with a sense of pride and think in my head "listen to my magnificent bowel movements, fuckos."

I also want to face punch all those cunts who think striking up conversation at a urinal is a totally non-defective person thing to do.

KennyLoggins
Dec 3, 2004
Welcome to the Danger Zone
at work when i take a leak at the urinals its always fun when someone rips a low pitched fart right next to you nonchalantly.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

KennyLoggins posted:

at work when i take a leak at the urinals its always fun when someone rips a low pitched fart right next to you nonchalantly.

this is the best time to fart tbh

FartRomancer.EXE
Jun 26, 2012

i grunt when using a urinal

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




FartRomancer.EXE posted:

i grunt when using a urinal

Get that checked out.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

FartRomancer.EXE posted:

i grunt when using a urinal

hosed up if true

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien
i'm grunting right now

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]
you walk in just to take a piss and saddle up to the urinal when in the stall next to you, someone starts to giggle cause they are watching the latest episode of pewdiepie, but because they are wearing headphones they don know how loud they are being and making the experience of pissing in public that much more unpleasent for everyone involved

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
just sit down on that toilet, no fuckin paper on the seat, let my dick hang into the bowl and spray away all over my balls

Kleen_TheRacistDog
Feb 17, 2014

Can't bust the Krust fuckman
www.skullmund.com
men do it because they think it makes them sound manly. same with spitting in the urinal. (i openly make fun of strangers who do that, and they can't do anything b/c their mid-piss/mid-poo poo.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Moola
Aug 16, 2006
that's a good way to get hemmaroids

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:

men do it because they think it makes them sound manly. same with spitting in the urinal. (i openly make fun of strangers who do that, and they can't do anything b/c their mid-piss/mid-poo poo.

mid-poo poo in a urinal? I can't decide if that's some nasty rear end poo poo or just alpha as gently caress.

Ebola Roulette
Sep 13, 2010

No matter what you win lose ragepiss.
When you hear someone grunting on the toilet toss this over the stall



meta as gently caress :catdrugs:

Lufiron
Nov 24, 2005
i just whip out my phone and call people. if there's no one to call, just pretend and have loud as gently caress fake phone conversations. nothing says I'm an alpha better than making million dollar deals in the middle of taking a poo poo

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
have you ever jerked off and climaxed while taking a poo poo

Lufiron
Nov 24, 2005
only when constipated. a good jo keeps the rear end in a top hat loose

you irl
Jan 22, 2014

Trip Daddy X posted:

does anyone else do the obligatory foot shuffle noise or a little cough when you are pooping and someone else comes into the bathroom? you know, to let them know you're in there.

of course. im not a animal

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Zzulu posted:

have you ever jerked off and climaxed while taking a poo poo

That's a beta blumpkin.

Smokey
Feb 8, 2008
i crap my rear end with diarrhea

Biggie Shorty
Oct 8, 2008
lol @ u if you're poop-shy. Yeah those sounds you hear are coming out of my rear end, what of it?

gorki
Aug 9, 2014
i can only go in my own bathroom :ohdear: caused problems when i was in hospital for a few days last year. not good butt times

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
I'm not embarrassed about the idea of taking a poo poo in public, just horrified. I mean, I'll still do it in an emergency, but why god why? Public restrooms are the seat of all human depravity and its not like the human digestive system works fast enough that you ever have to take an emergency poo poo. If you need to poo poo more than once a day and are not on an 8000 calorie bodybuilding diet you might want to get that checked out. Needing to piss can sneak up on you hard and fast but at least with that (and if you're a dude) your body doesn't actually have to come into contact with public toilets.

With the most minimal planning you can poo poo in the comfort of your own home, or if on a trip at least somewhere halfway decent like a hotel room toilet or out in the middle of the woods.

Judge Tesla
Oct 29, 2011

:frogsiren:

Nathilus posted:

8000 calorie
Remember where you are, all those Cheetos and Mountain Dew stacks up.

BLARGHLE
Oct 2, 2013

But I want something good
to die for
To make it beautiful to live.
Yams Fan

Nathilus posted:

I'm not embarrassed about the idea of taking a poo poo in public, just horrified. I mean, I'll still do it in an emergency, but why god why? Public restrooms are the seat of all human depravity and its not like the human digestive system works fast enough that you ever have to take an emergency poo poo. If you need to poo poo more than once a day and are not on an 8000 calorie bodybuilding diet you might want to get that checked out. Needing to piss can sneak up on you hard and fast but at least with that (and if you're a dude) your body doesn't actually have to come into contact with public toilets.

With the most minimal planning you can poo poo in the comfort of your own home, or if on a trip at least somewhere halfway decent like a hotel room toilet or out in the middle of the woods.

Spoken like a man who has never had to take an emergency poo poo

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

BLARGHLE posted:

Spoken like a man who has never had to take an emergency poo poo

I mean, if you get food poisoning or something and your rear end is gonna explode whether you have pants on or not, the normal rules are obviously suspended. If that's a regular occurrence for you, you need to listen to me: GET HELP.

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Mnemosyne
Jun 11, 2002

There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!
I don't understand why men act like pooping is some great ordeal, with all the grunting stuff. I've literally never heard anyone grunting in my life in the women's room. Which is not to claim that women are less gross or anything, because women's rooms are some gross poo poo and women will smear their period blood on the wall, but they don't make a big deal about pooping.

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