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Sep 9, 2014 09:55
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Today we have discovered a ritual of long lost age. To gain the favor of their dark gods, kittens were forced into small cages and set aflame, while snappy music played. Their dark lord of NEDM must have been a fearsome figure to warrant such callousness in his sacrifices.
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Sep 9, 2014 20:29
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Another goatse, put it on the pile with the others.
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Sep 9, 2014 20:36
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they were stealing bikes back then, too?!?
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Sep 9, 2014 20:42
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Nameless_Steve posted:I met a traveller from an ancient land,
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Sep 9, 2014 20:45
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Lol tcan you imagine the uncivilized masses not having recycling systems implanted into their bodies?? Embarrassing
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Sep 9, 2014 20:46
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Day 89: Our anthropological team encounters yet more frustration as we sift through the archives. Posts from the early internet purport to link to fantastical items, details of history lost to time, but the early internet links must have been corrupted. The most interesting and potentially ground-breaking leads link not to the original source material promised, but instead to the same 2D "music video" from CE 1987. A pale, classical musician of the long-extinct Ginger race, by the name of Rick Astley. We must consult with paleo-coders to see why the primitive internet produced this massive error, and how to proceed to the original content promised. Professor Juarez-Schmidt proposes an alternate theory, that Astley was worshipped as a God-King by the Ginger race, who have intentionally redacted heretical links into their culture's music as a form of tribute. This is somewhat controversial among the team, although it is rapidly gaining traction as a theory. Nevertheless, to follow just one of these links successfully would be a major breakthrough in our field. Whether this obfuscation was accidental or intentional in origin, we must persevere. We are never, never going to give this up!
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Sep 10, 2014 03:07
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gbs will not fair well in future archaeology ;(
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Sep 10, 2014 03:09
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We continue to find ancient secrets and magic promised by old internet ads, such as rejuvenation, unlimited energy, and the ability to speak all languages. Of course, such things were more than two hundred years out of reach for the time, but we continue to stumble upon these ancient pictures. Similar to the astley-paradox, none of the promised results are produced. Strange. One man on the team suggests that perhaps it was an ancient form of advertising, most similar to cure-all salesmen in even more ancient times. I laugh at his idea. But I do want to know how one could save 75$ a month on their electricity bill, and why someone named "Obama" hates that.
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Sep 10, 2014 16:27
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This construction boom in the great city of Geo couldn't possibly have sustained itself. No wonder the first great dotcom bust happened.
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Sep 10, 2014 16:49
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re: Fluffy While I have previously dismissed Dr. Shafia's theories as being constructed purely out of cynicism, every piece of data we collect only serves to confirm them. Much as I loather to admit it, the man was right. Toxoplasmosis almost destroyed the human race once, we cannot let it happen again. Stevens, you know what you must do with the test subject "Fluffy" and its litter. I expect it to be done immediately and with no complaints. -Dr. Erascheau
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Sep 11, 2014 01:22
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We found what appears to be an old sock encasing droppings of the ancients. We might be able to clone one using genetic material found within but we aren't going to do that
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Sep 11, 2014 04:04
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