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FinalGamer
Aug 30, 2012

So the mystic script says.

TOILETLORD posted:

i remember after columbine, my high school was celebrating because our rivals had a school shooting before a sports game we played against them.
hahaha holy poo poo that's loving awful, see THAT is what we call "school spirit".

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MegaGatts
Dec 12, 2004

The Enteroctopus dofleini, also known as the giant Pacific octopus (GPO) or North Pacific giant octopus, is a large marine cephalopod belonging to the phylum Mollusca and is tripping balls.
My state is horrible and yes there are a non zero amount of people who take satisfaction in the death of children here.

Herstory Begins Now
Aug 5, 2003
SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>

Parallax Scroll posted:

teach kids all the best firing lines and places to take cover so they can better stop the bad guy

design schools like levels from mass effect 2

Antifa Spacemarine
Jan 11, 2011

Tzeentch can suck it.

The-Mole posted:

design schools like levels from mass effect 2

Add Geth attack squads to chemistry labs.

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus

The-Mole posted:

design schools like levels from mass effect 2

waist high cover and explosive barrels for everyone!

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
You know those people who throw a poo poo fit when a child disrupts their public outing and post huge rants about it on forums dedicated to child free lifestyles? Middle age americans are kind of like that.

Cool Blue Reason
Jan 7, 2010

by Lowtax

1gnoirents posted:

I thought you were being melodramatic but then I saw the first paragraph and the picture and lolled




video is not working for me

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

FinalGamer posted:

I mean that's not the weirdest part but it really throws me off at the same time, that's the kind of weapon I get at the end level of a game or something.
well the thing is how the gently caress would you conceal that

BombiTheZombie
Mar 27, 2010
Yeah, sounds like murricah alright. If any of you smart people living over there wanna move over we got plenty space in europe, worst case scenario we bulldoze a part of norway to make room.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

BombiTheZombie posted:

Yeah, sounds like murricah alright. If any of you smart people living over there wanna move over we got plenty space in europe, worst case scenario we bulldoze a part of norway to make room.
nah just send us anders breivik with guns he'll keep us occupied for a while

Gobblecoque
Sep 6, 2011

Mike Gallego posted:

i am in mo and i have a huge boner over it op

same

Lifepuzzler
Nov 5, 2009
I lived in Springfield, Mo between 2001 and 2012. I can safely say that if there was an active shooter that the citizens would be the ones showing up in task-force-sized-numbers to take the little fucker down before the police even mobilized.

JimsonTheBetrayer
Oct 13, 2010

Game's over, and fuck you Jimson. It's not my fault that you guys couldn't get your shit together by deadline. No one gets access to docs because I don't fucking care anymore, I hope you all enjoyed ruining my game, and there won't be another.

The Droid posted:

that quote sounds like something out of satire jesus christ

the choice of an striker shotgun as their "active shooter" weapon is weird to me as well

Striker is balling as gently caress, and totally kick rear end. Unless your in the real world. Then its just as unweildy as any other shotgun and better used for breaching and intimidation than anything else.

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

That 70s Shirt posted:

I was in high school back during the "Columbine era" and they made us do these. The teachers would cover the windows in the doors with black paper and we'd have to lay on the ground and be completely silent (as if that would trick any potential shooters from thinking anyone was in the classrooms, lol).

This hasn't changed, we don't do active drills anymore but the last lockdown I was involved in I ended up in the dark with my kids for three hours with the door windows covered all because some bank robbing jerkoff hopped our fence while running from the cops.

it's cool kids, nothing serious, don't freak out but we're going to stay away from doors and windows for a little while

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax

ElectricSheep posted:

This hasn't changed, we don't do active drills anymore but the last lockdown I was involved in I ended up in the dark with my kids for three hours with the door windows covered

Aatrek parachute spotted.

Vengarr
Jun 17, 2010

Smashed before noon

That 70s Shirt posted:

I was in high school back during the "Columbine era" and they made us do these. The teachers would cover the windows in the doors with black paper and we'd have to lay on the ground and be completely silent (as if that would trick any potential shooters from thinking anyone was in the classrooms, lol).

Similarly, my middle school just had the teachers lock the doors, shut off the lights, and have everyone hide in a place where they couldn't be seen through the window on the door (all our doors had windows). It was slightly more intelligent because our unused classrooms were all kept locked with the lights off, so a potential shooter wouldn't know an empty classroom from an occupied one at first glance.

...Except that, unless he was an Elliot Rodgers-level retard, the shooter would simply blow out the glass, reach his hand in, and unlock the door.

My finest moment was pointing this out at the assembly we had to go over the new protocol. In hindsight, it was pretty telling who laughed and who got mad. If a loving 6th grader is pointing out the flaw in your plan...

CruJones
Feb 22, 2006

by Lowtax
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k6ksnSzsy6M

My favorite part of this video is around 11:00, when the act of murdering kids is juxtaposed with cutesy characters and cartoons.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
mandatory martial arts training for every student, Robo Reagan 2016

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Vengarr posted:

...Except that, unless he was an Elliot Rodgers-level retard, the shooter would simply blow out the glass, reach his hand in, and unlock the door.


that's why ours had thing steel criss crosses on the windows so even if they're shot out in theory the shooter can't open the door

Nonsense
Jan 26, 2007

Robo Reagan posted:

mandatory martial arts training for every student, Robo Reagan 2016

japan & Samsung formerly known as Korea teaches all kids taekwondo, american children should all be taught MMA/WWE/TNA/Impact/ROH

ColdReaches
Oct 12, 2013

Place : Detroit
Date : 4031 A.D.

Robo Reagan posted:

mandatory martial arts training for every student, Robo Reagan 2016

MARTIAL LAW. shoot down by every single one of you constituamts, watching you local chuckle gently caress cops launch gas grenades into "citizens" backs yards.

Charged with resisting arrest

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

all schools should have goose farms attached to them. when there's a shooter release 200 geese into the school.

ColdReaches
Oct 12, 2013

Place : Detroit
Date : 4031 A.D.
I will resign with full pension you loving scrubs.

All cops everywhere

Drunk & Ugly
Feb 10, 2003

GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

a hole-y ghost posted:

all schools should have goose farms attached to them. when there's a shooter release 200 geese into the school.

this is the sanest thing in this thread

Pookum
Mar 5, 2011

gaming is life

Lifepuzzler posted:

I lived in Springfield, Mo between 2001 and 2012. I can safely say that if there was an active shooter that the citizens would be the ones showing up in task-force-sized-numbers to take the little fucker down before the police even mobilized.

Former springfield resident here and I can confirm this. We love gun.

FinalGamer
Aug 30, 2012

So the mystic script says.

a hole-y ghost posted:

all schools should have goose farms attached to them. when there's a shooter release 200 geese into the school.
It is a little known fact that geese are genetically-bred to attack men wielding objects of any length as well as their boners, so this is a doubledown plan of pure victory right here.


Vengarr posted:

Similarly, my middle school just had the teachers lock the doors, shut off the lights, and have everyone hide in a place where they couldn't be seen through the window on the door (all our doors had windows). It was slightly more intelligent because our unused classrooms were all kept locked with the lights off, so a potential shooter wouldn't know an empty classroom from an occupied one at first glance.

...Except that, unless he was an Elliot Rodgers-level retard, the shooter would simply blow out the glass, reach his hand in, and unlock the door.

My finest moment was pointing this out at the assembly we had to go over the new protocol. In hindsight, it was pretty telling who laughed and who got mad. If a loving 6th grader is pointing out the flaw in your plan...
This sounds like the sort of middle school who refuse to believe that swordfish exist.

Even after you show them a picture of a swordfish.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
this is like the :911: version of those crazy filipinos that nail themselves to crosses in the streets every good friday...it almost makes 'duck and cover' seem almost level headed in comparison. holy poo poo does america have some major loving issues that nowhere else in the world seems to share, and things only get worse and worse when they attempt to fix them

Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 00:12 on Sep 11, 2014

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax
we must make our schools in the design of prisons both to cut down on armed people getting in and students from getting out. also to prepare them for their new career making license plates in the state penitentiary

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Mariana Horchata posted:

this is like the :911: version of those crazy filipinos that nail themselves to crosses in the streets every good friday
sounds like a pretty...
bad friday

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

we should just handle school shootings russian style


blast the poo poo out of the school from the outside using tanks and RPG missiles

Guy Fleegman
Jul 8, 2009

by XyloJW
It's kill or be killed. Don't blame us here in the Midwest for being prepared.

Drunk & Ugly
Feb 10, 2003

GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

Mariana Horchata posted:

this is like the :911: version of those crazy filipinos that nail themselves to crosses in the streets every good friday...it almost makes 'duck and cover' seem almost level headed in comparison. holy poo poo does america have some major loving issues that nowhere else in the world seems to share, and things only get worse and worse when they attempt to fix them

its always kind of been dangerous in the states but yeah, its taken on a new dynamic

lots of countries that seem like they woul be fine if they'd just decrazify their populace... israel? iraq? Saudi Arabia... russia? but they don't. we're just another on the road to assville. cargo: dirty horrible rear end destination: your quality of life

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois
Don't raise children in the states.

Nonsense
Jan 26, 2007

a hole-y ghost posted:

we should just handle school shootings russian style


blast the poo poo out of the school from the outside using tanks and RPG missiles

imagine thinking the government was coming to save you

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Nonsense posted:

imagine thinking the government was coming to save you
I think on that day there were a bunch of parents there too for whatever reason so hundreds of people including whole families literally burned to death courtesy of the police

Crewmine
Apr 26, 2012
Remember that theatre siege where the russian police decided to use a harmless knockout gas on everyone inside

then it turned out knockout gas actually extremely deadly

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Crewmine posted:

Remember that theatre siege where the russian police decided to use a harmless knockout gas on everyone inside

then it turned out knockout gas actually extremely deadly
oh those scoundrels!

e:
the "lucky" they refer to in this song is not the sexual kind but rather killing an assailant instead of an innocent hostage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYbtAZjB8QM

ColdReaches
Oct 12, 2013

Place : Detroit
Date : 4031 A.D.

Crewmine posted:

Remember that theatre siege where the russian police decided to use a harmless knockout gas on everyone inside

then it turned out knockout gas actually extremely deadly

I remembered how the sociology-economics of the day caused a terrorist group to act.

naem
May 29, 2011

Guy Fleegman posted:

It's kill or be killed BY OUR CHILDREN. Don't blame us here in the Midwest for being prepared TO KILL OUR CHILDREN WHO ARE THE ONES SHOOTING

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The Droid
Jun 11, 2012

Mariana Horchata posted:

this is like the :911: version of those crazy filipinos that nail themselves to crosses in the streets every good friday...it almost makes 'duck and cover' seem almost level headed in comparison.

duck and cover makes a lot more sense when you realize that the bombs would probably not be dropped right on/next to the school. Otherwise, there'd be no chance to duck or cover.

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