Do some people in Missouri get a huge boner for killing teenagers?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Do some people in Missouri get a huge boner for killing teenagers?

FinalGamer: Aug 30, 2012; So the mystic script says.

I mean, first there's everything in Ferguson but then there was the fact that schools in Missouri stage "active shooter drills" as preparation for events.

I dunno, maybe it's just me but I'm thinking that a lot of older people in Missouri like authority figures just really loving love to see teenagers getting killed. And since they're not police I guess the headteachers are all like "fuckit let's have a pretend school shooting and call it a drill, I'll get the moulage an' get a real boner going here".

Just seems pretty hosed up yanno, maybe it's where the game Harvester was based in I dunno, seems weird!

# ¿ Sep 10, 2014 16:26

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 14:20

FinalGamer: Aug 30, 2012; So the mystic script says.

The Droid posted:

that quote sounds like something out of satire jesus christ

the choice of an striker shotgun as their "active shooter" weapon is weird to me as well

Like right?!

I mean that's not the weirdest part but it really throws me off at the same time, that's the kind of weapon I get at the end level of a game or something.

Also I'm pretty sure I see at least three dudes popping boners for all this kid-simulating murder so my original theory stands proven. Do they like, stand at the sidelines or something and just watch this poo poo or do they get like tagged you're out and have to sit outside cuz GROWNUPS NEVER GOT SHOT IN SCHOOLS NO THAT WOULD RUIN THE IMMERSION

Robo Reagan posted:

before moving on to real college i went to community college for hella cheap credits and during orientation their advice was if there's a shooter on a campus and you wind up trapped with them coming try and find a firehydrant to beat them to death with which imo is kind of good advice if you've got no other choice

This totally sounds a good idea and having played Phoenix Wright I can tell you it definitely will also stop lawyers from suing you by giving them amnesia.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2014 17:57

FinalGamer: Aug 30, 2012; So the mystic script says.

TOILETLORD posted:

i remember after columbine, my high school was celebrating because our rivals had a school shooting before a sports game we played against them.

hahaha holy poo poo that's loving awful, see THAT is what we call "school spirit".

# ¿ Sep 10, 2014 20:11

FinalGamer: Aug 30, 2012; So the mystic script says.

a hole-y ghost posted:

all schools should have goose farms attached to them. when there's a shooter release 200 geese into the school.

It is a little known fact that geese are genetically-bred to attack men wielding objects of any length as well as their boners, so this is a doubledown plan of pure victory right here.

Vengarr posted:

Similarly, my middle school just had the teachers lock the doors, shut off the lights, and have everyone hide in a place where they couldn't be seen through the window on the door (all our doors had windows). It was slightly more intelligent because our unused classrooms were all kept locked with the lights off, so a potential shooter wouldn't know an empty classroom from an occupied one at first glance.

...Except that, unless he was an Elliot Rodgers-level retard, the shooter would simply blow out the glass, reach his hand in, and unlock the door.

My finest moment was pointing this out at the assembly we had to go over the new protocol. In hindsight, it was pretty telling who laughed and who got mad. If a loving 6th grader is pointing out the flaw in your plan...

This sounds like the sort of middle school who refuse to believe that swordfish exist.

Even after you show them a picture of a swordfish.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2014 00:05

FinalGamer: Aug 30, 2012; So the mystic script says.

naem posted:

Perhaps the atmosphere of oppression is what's causing CHILDREN to go crazy and shoot people in the first place and making thing oppression-ier isn't the answer??

Well maybe you shouldn't be black and under 50 in Missouri, that's illegal you know :v:

I'm sorry you should have read up the rules when you were born and got asked to pick your skin colour, cuz that's totally a thing I heard in St. Louis I'm p. sure.

Also guys I hear they're making a new state flag for Missouri, it looks pretty radical and I think things are changing fast.

FinalGamer fucked around with this message at 13:55 on Sep 11, 2014

# ¿ Sep 11, 2014 13:51

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 14:20

FinalGamer: Aug 30, 2012; So the mystic script says.

Nonsense posted:

people in missouri like throwing molotovs into black congressman's offices in 2014 as well

Wow you actually weren't kidding.

Man gently caress Missouri.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2014 02:40

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Do some people in Missouri get a huge boner for killing teenagers?