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Muttonchips
Jun 5, 2014

by Shine
Don't care about gays, don't care what you believe, don't care about teaching evolution in bible. Ask me whatever you want I guess *shrug*

:coal:

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gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
I grew up Southern Baptist and it was terrible

probably because I was a gullible kid who took it seriously

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
If you don't care about gays or evolution or oppressing people in general, aren't you just paying lip service to the church that was literally founded to support slavery?

flerp
Feb 25, 2014
im gay

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

rock on, gay

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend
I'm a Calvinist, and I think this thread was created to be destroyed for God's glory.

dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard

:catdrugs:
You know, of course, why baptists don't gently caress standing up.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

dee eight posted:

You know, of course, why baptists don't gently caress standing up.

because dancing

Throwdini
Aug 2, 2006

Applewhite posted:

If you don't care about gays or evolution or oppressing people in general, aren't you just paying lip service to the church that was literally founded to support slavery?

they all are. there not selling their stuffs and doing service for the needy are they? they all fake christians every last goddamn one of them. except for those that aren't they're good people.

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
So you get a free pass when driving home drunk from "church" at 3AM?
Do southern Baptist boys make the hottest gay pornstars?

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

exspurt analcyst posted:

So you get a free pass when driving home drunk from "church" at 3AM?
Do southern Baptist boys make the hottest gay pornstars?

nobody gets a free pass for anything, unless you're the preacher's daughter or son

then you get to pay for it in guilt for the rest of your life

this is why Sam Kinison was such a great comedian

fuck. marry. t-rex
Jan 23, 2014

Lipstick Apathy
I have over a gallon of sweet tea in my fridge as we speak

mucocele
Nov 3, 2012
Can u dance.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Throwdini posted:

they all are. there not selling their stuffs and doing service for the needy are they? they all fake christians every last goddamn one of them. except for those that aren't they're good people.

You've got me there.

Muttonchips
Jun 5, 2014

by Shine

Applewhite posted:

If you don't care about gays or evolution or oppressing people in general, aren't you just paying lip service to the church that was literally founded to support slavery?
lol no

and they already apologized for that stuff idc about that BS anyway
cool story

Throwdini posted:

they all are. there not selling their stuffs and doing service for the needy are they? they all fake christians every last goddamn one of them. except for those that aren't they're good people.
lol @ your black and white world view

exspurt analcyst posted:

So you get a free pass when driving home drunk from "church" at 3AM?
Do southern Baptist boys make the hottest gay pornstars?
nope

idk I don't watch that stuff

Prodigal T-REX posted:

I have over a gallon of sweet tea in my fridge as we speak
I like my tea bitter

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications


Do you make dishes that have a can of cream of mushroom soup in for church potlucks?

Muttonchips
Jun 5, 2014

by Shine
Also, you guys- it's super funny when people clap on the off beat, like.. holy poo poo

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


have you ever hosed a southern baptist gal in the anus to preserve her virgin pact with daddy

Muttonchips
Jun 5, 2014

by Shine

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

have you ever hosed a southern baptist gal in the anus to preserve her virgin pact with daddy

lol I love how people who bash Christians never really know what they're talkinga bout

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


Muttonchips posted:

lol I love how people who bash Christians never really know what they're talkinga bout

ok because i have with a baylor baptist girl so........

Hoedown Throwdown
Mar 30, 2004
Ich esse Scheiße
is that a yes

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
megachurch or strip mall church?

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
...on a side note, there's loads of gay mormon porn out there so be careful

Desperado Bones
Aug 29, 2009

Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!


Frackie Robinson posted:

I'm a Calvinist, and I think this thread was created to be destroyed for God's glory.

I'm Catholic and we drink blood during mass.
We also don't know Jesus, or have never heard of him...that's what other sects always say.
And the Pope is our god.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

exspurt analcyst posted:

...on a side note, there's loads of gay mormon porn out there so be careful

whoa

so how does that work?

lots of wives loving each other, husbands loving while the multiple wives watch...?

please elaborate

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Which ones are the good blacks again?

Is Stormfront for Southern Baptists trending right now? Or for most of the South?

NASCAR is pretty much it for y'all, yes?

Tell us about the fried Twinkees, please?

Texans don't consider themselves as Southern. Agree?

Is cross burning after Labor Day considered gauche or is it a year round tradition?

Mexicans...are they truly the new blacks?

Puerto Ricans, aren't they just mocha-lite blacks with good hair?

Daisy Dukes, bikini tops and cowboy boots. Standard uniform for Southern girls or just lyrics to a Kenny Chesney song?

What are the odds that the cast members on Sons of Guns/Duck Hunters etc, etc shows are racists or/and kiddie touchers? 50/50? 75%?

Most preachers daughters are great whores its been said/sung about. Truth?

Thank you most kindly for educating a curious Yankee.

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAq0OevRjBY

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

college kids are still dumb, no big news flash here

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

more like southern fagtist

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

fagtits

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007

Desperado Bones posted:

I'm Catholic and we drink blood during mass.
We also don't know Jesus, or have never heard of him...that's what other sects always say.
And the Pope is our god.

preacher says yall worshipin the sun gods

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

Muttonchips posted:

lol no

and they already apologized for that stuff idc about that BS anyway

but then didn't just rejoin with the regular baptists considering they'd repented over the issue that caused the schism in the first place; seems legit

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


gnarlyhotep posted:

college kids are still dumb, no big news flash here

lol none of these rich white baptist sorority girls are going to mature beyond freshman year

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014

gnarlyhotep posted:

whoa

so how does that work?

lots of wives loving each other, husbands loving while the multiple wives watch...?

please elaborate

Hot california pornodudes in mormon undergarmets ply their trade, with strict discipline.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

exspurt analcyst posted:

Hot california pornodudes in mormon undergarmets ply their trade, with strict discipline.

drat

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

lol none of these rich white baptist sorority girls are going to mature beyond freshman year

They're gonna marry respectable southern gentlemen and cuck them with the most ghetto black dudes outta Florida they can find. And there won't be George Zimmerman around to right those wrongs.

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES
bullshit whitebread protestants are basically just theists and dont really even have a religion lol

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES

GORILLA BASTARD posted:

They're gonna marry respectable southern gentlemen and cuck them with the most ghetto black dudes outta Florida they can find. And there won't be eliot rogers around to right those wrongs.

The Droid
Jun 11, 2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ236CwhlPw&feature=youtu.be&t=1m30s

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gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

Zippy the Bummer posted:

bullshit whitebread protestants are basically just theists and dont really even have a religion lol

so true

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