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 Woah wait. Aren't you doing WWF shows anymore? I absolutely will be continuing my WWF thread. It's ground to a bit of a halt recently, mainly because I'm sick of scrabbling for footage from PPVs I don't have. This will hopefully solved when the WWE Network becomes available (for only $9.99!) in the UK. That's about a month away, so to pass the time... Why are you putting yourself through this? Hey now. I asked myself the same thing waaaay back at the start of my old TNA thread, and I actually ended up enjoying quite a lot of it. In a sort of car-crashy way. There might well be some good stuff here. There won't be. Lighten up! There might be. There won't be. Jesus. Get this guy.  Go on then. Explain yourself. WCW's closure left a void in the wrestling world. The industry was Vince McMahon's plaything, with no major competitors standing in his way of global domination. Then, a long time ago, in a southern state far, far away... Oh you're bringing Star Wars into this. Fantastic. Jeff Jarrett and his daddy (Jerry) decided to found a wrestling company on a straight-to-PPV basis. Ingenious. In doing so they would avoid the crushing power of WWE on television, and have a chance to first establish their own product as viable competition. So what happened? Through careful, logical booking, and an unflinching focus upon their own young talent, TNA rapidly grew from a grassroots offshoot of the NWA into a powerful entity in its own right. The company steamrolled its way to a TV deal and took on the WWE at its own game. It proved itself a viable alternative to Vince McMahon's stale product and reigned supreme, the darling of both casual fans and internet critics everywhere. Hurrah for TNA. Hurrah! Are you sure that's exactly wh... HURRAH I SAY! Let the magical journey begin.   
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Sep 12, 2014 20:48
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Shows Covered TNA #1 - In which we see the formation of the White World Order. TNA #2: Electric Boogaloo - In which the dastardly heels are crushed by the righteous powers of prejudice. TNA #3: Senior Year - In which we learn that Jeff Jarrett can't tell the difference between the nWo and NWA. TNA #4: High Noon At Mega Mountain - In which Brian Christopher tries to distance himself from his father's legacy by changing his name to Brian Lawler. TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA - In which Jeff Jarrett ends the show by droppin' fools for the third straight week. quote:Known White World Order Members Swerve List 1. The Curious Incident of the Pointless Betrayal - TNA #3 No. of Jeff Jarrett's Guitars Smashed: 0 JGKing fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Nov 1, 2014 |
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Sep 12, 2014 20:49
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NWA-TNA Pay Per View #1 - June 19th 2002 - Huntsville, Alabama PART 1 That's right Austin, episode one. According to my primary source - Wikipedia - this promotion was cursed from the beginning. During a dark match, a 450lb wrestler named Cheex managed to snap one of the ropes. This forced TNA's production team to move a lot of the non-wrestling segments to the top of the show, giving the road crew (actually the Harris brothers) time to fix the ring. This emphasis on non-wrestling segments is a tradition which carries on in TNA to this day. The first person out from the back is...Don West! He asks us if we're all ready for some Total Nonstop Action, before introducing his broadcast partner Jeremy Borash is in the ring and introduces a lot of old-timey NWA types. It takes them an age to all get to the ring, and (to my shame as a wrestling fan) the only two I recognise are Harley Race and Ricky Steamboat. Steamboat claims that the NWA title is the most valuable in all of wrestling. Dory Funk Jr is there as well, although I wouldn't have recognised him without Borash's introduction. Suddenly MY ABSOLUTE BOY Jeff Jarrett comes out to his awful theme music! He runs down the main event, claiming that it sucks - the NWA title should be contested in a one-on-one environment. Jackie Fargo, one of the legends in the ring, takes exception to this and forces Jarrett to be the number one entrant. I'm not sure how he has the authority to do that. Jarrett is pissed, but says he'll just have to kick 19 other asses to win. He's interrupted in turn by... Ken Shamrock! He agrees that the Gauntlet concept sucks. WHAT THE gently caress IS GOING ON!? Why are the main eventers running down the main event? This is clearly not good business sense. Anyway, he claims that he's the lucky final entrant, and that he'll win the title, bla bla bla. Jarrett begins to reply, but now they're both cut off by Scott Hall! We have quite a who's-who on our hands. Hall makes his entrance through the crowd and speaks to everyone from the aisle. He ALSO agrees that the main event sucks. I honestly don't know what to make of this. Anyway, he thinks he'll win, etc etc. His "hey yo" got a big pop - he's clearly the most over man in the arena. We cut backstage to a trashy bimbo who's name I didn't catch. She's interviewing a midget. Apparently he goes by the name of Puppet The Psycho Dwarf, and he cuts an absolutely indecipherable promo. He says that midgets are the true stars of America, because the day he came out of his momma everybody started at the little child weeble-wobbling down the street. That's a direct quotation. He hypes up a match between two other midgets later, claiming he wants to see some midget blood. Mercifully they're interrupted by an angry Jarrett, who storms past and limply kicks a chair over. He's angry about being made the Gauntlet's first entrant. We get our first shot of one of the infamous TNA dancing girls. She's really hot, but I'd hesitate to take her home to the family. OH MY GOD. I THINK IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR A MATCH! Borash introduces the team of AJ Styles, Low Ki, and Jerry Lynn. Holy poo poo! There's a lot of talent there. They're facing...The Flying Elvises? That's Jorge Estrada, Sonny Siaki, and Jimmy (Wang) Yang in Elvis costumes. AKA, let's dress up the foreigners in silly outfits and make them a tag team. The NWA legends are shown backstage watching on a monitor. They do not approve of the Elvises. 1. AJ Styles, Low Ki, and Jerry Lynn vs The Flying Elvises The Elvises refuse a handshake and jump the faces when their backs are turned. They're the heels you guys. The faces clear the ring by being more athletic and awesome, and Low Ki hits the first suicide dive in TNA's history to the outside. That didn't take long at all. Lynn follows him with a crossbody and AJ beats on Yang in the ring. Yang fights back and hits a shining wizard, SO INDIE! I don't think we've seen one of those in my entire WWF thread, but it's one of the very first moves we get in TNA. Lynn gets the tag and almost hits a tornado DDT from the top, but Yang springs outrageously out and lands on his feet! That was loving impressive. OH! He hits a kick into a backflip, like something out of Tekken! Siaki gets the tag and Lynn busts out a really impressive headscissors. Low Ki is in and he's the stiff worker of the three, made clear by his immediate use of chops. Siaki fights back by being more of a loving man - he's seriously jacked - and hits a great backbreaker. Estrada bounces in with an Asai moonsault for two and isn't quite as good as everyone else in the match it seems. He hits an ugly neckbreaker from the top for two before making me eat my words with a standing moonsault (while running forwards) for two. Low Ki takes control with a low dropkick and it's time for indie kicks to the chest! Bam, a final one to the head knocks Estrada down and Ki tags out to AJ. He clashes with Yang again and hits some kind of springboard into an inverted neckbreaker. Tenay screams "what is that even called!?". Some professionalism, please. Jimmy hits an amazing spinning heel kick but Low Ki breaks up the pin. He takes out Yang, but is hit with a huge slam by Estrada. Lynn jumps in and NAILS him with a cradle piledriver! Rolling DDT by Siaki! Bam, big kick by AJ, but Low Ki accidentally nails his partner with a kick of his own. AJ is out and Yang takes advantage, dropkicking Low Ki out of the ring and hitting a corkscrew moonsault for the three! I'm out of breath. Winners: The Flying Elvises 3/5 - Quite a short match with very little rhyme or reason, but drat was it impressive. A great choice for the first match of TNA's existence, worlds apart from the WWF and just as exciting. More dancing girls. Can't tell if they're pretty - they're cloaked in heavy shadow. Something I forgot to mention before, Ricky Steamboat announced that he would be the special guest referee for the final fall of the Gauntlet For The Gold. Jeremy Borash announces that the next contest is...a "Midget Match". 2. Hollywood vs Teo Hollywood was already in the ring before Borash was beginning the announcements. I'm not sure if these guys have much wrestling training. Let's see. Hollywood jumps Teo at the bell and they immediately botch a suplex. Teo is apparently an extreme midget. The crowd are chanting "midget, midget". What the gently caress is going on? Teo hits a big headbutt to the crotch and a ten count of punches in the corner. He eats a big powerslam for two, before Hollywood takes his head off with a clothesline. They seem to be pretty decent workers. Hollywood hits a frogsplash from the top for two, before Teo hits some kind of leaping elbow swanton. That gets the three. Winner: Teo 0.5/5 - Too botchy, but better than I expected. Hollywood's frogsplash was the best spot of the match. A mixed start here. Will it be okay you guys? JGKing fucked around with this message at 02:53 on Nov 3, 2014 |
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Sep 14, 2014 19:26
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NWA-TNA Pay Per View #1 PART 2 Oh god, somebody let Ferrara and West in the ring. They hype a "Lingerie Battle Royal" for next week. Can't wait. They introduce an absolute boatload of women who'll be competing in the match. I'll list them. Francine (of ECW fame) Miss Joni (no idea) Shannon (Daffney) Alexis Laree (Mickie James <3) Sasha (no idea) Erin (apparently a Baltimore Ravens cheerleader) Elektra (another ECW girl) Taylor Vaughn (absolutely no idea, although West hyped her as "a familiar face") Teresa ??? (no idea, and he garbled her last name) West and Ferrara hype next week's "biggest catfight ever" and inform us that the winner will be crowned Miss TNA. Francine gets on the mic and says that none of the other girls deserve to share the ring with her, the Queen of Extreme. Elektra answers her and says this is a new beginning, she doesn't see ECW in the title. She also insinuates that Francine single-handedly bankrupt ECW (what!? Can somebody explain?). They have a bit of a cat fight and are separated by West, who I've just realised looks like a poor man's Dude Love in his Hawaiian shirt. Elektra has her top ripped off, so Don chivalrously provides a jacket for her to wear. Francine leaves the ring holding Elektra's shirt and says that she'll do the same to every other woman in that ring next week, because nobody at home deserves to see her in her lingerie, and she'll be crowned the first ever Miss TNA. That made absolutely no sense; it was three completely unconnected phrases jammed together. More dancing TNA girls in glass cages. I'm really not sure what to make of this sort of thing; I get that they're supposed to be enticing and stuff, but I just find it kind of seedy. I have a friend who was hired to do it at a club back home in Newcastle. She'd dance on a platform and pretend to be turned on and stuff, but it never made me see her as any more or less attractive. Money's money I suppose. I just realised I wrote that in the past tense. She's not dead, she just doesn't do it anymore. We go backstage to "Mortimer Plumtree". He's a snooty-looking manager with a cricket bat. He claims that his tag team follow out his exact instructions because they owe him their freedom and their lives. He calls upon them to make their presence known in this arena. They are...The Johnsons. The boys head out to the ring and they're huge dicks. They are dressed as huge penises, almost entirely covered in flesh-coloured bodysuits. Good work TNA. 3. The Johnsons vs Psicosis and James Storm I'm familiar with both Psicosis and James Storm - they're an odd couple to say the least. At least the dicks are matching. Storm has taken the cowboy gimmick to silly extremes, carrying a couple of pop-guns with him and shooting them from the turnbuckle into the air. He looks so young by the way. We're about a minute in when Storm catches one of the cocks with a missile dropkick, before the camera pans to the ramp to reveal a stunning blonde girl. She's Alicia, according to Mike Tenay, although Wikipedia helps me out and reveals her to be WWF's Ryan Shamrock (Ken Shamrock's kayfabe sister and actual girlfriend - bit weird). The Johnsons want no part of the dominating Storm and bail, but Plumtree yells at them to get back in or they're fired. Storm skins the cat and hits a dropkick to the back, then tags in Psicosis. The Mexican wrestler finds himself on the receiving end of a few suplexes, but reverses a powerbomb into a facebuster. Neither of the Johnsons know how to sell properly at all. Storm hits a nice hurricanrana but misses a tornado DDT. He hits the ropes and Plumtree grabs his leg from the outside, allowing a Johnson to take advantage and hit a slam of some sort for the win. Ferrara genuinely calls it "this finishing move right here...and it gets the three". Absolutely no mention of why Alicia was at the foot of the entrance ramp. Winners: The Johnsons 0.5/5 - Good work by Storm and Psicosis. Awful work by The Johnsons. Would have been 1/5, but I've deducted half a point for the constant cuts to Alicia standing expressionless on the ramp. Very distracting and needless, she came out about 30 seconds in. The referee tries to leave but is stopped by Alicia. She demands something and he gives her a wad of dollar bills. What the gently caress!? She departs satisfied and a fan very clearly leans over the guardrail and tries to spank her as she walks past. He narrowly misses. The blonde backstage reporter (who is apparently called Goldilocks) is interrupted by The Dupps (I don't know who they are). They're doing a hillbilly gimmick. They crack open a couple of beers and Bill Behrens (I don't know who he is, some kind of exec type) comes along and tells them drinking isn't allowed in the locker room. They scoff and say "who ever heard of anyone getting drunk on beer". I hope never to see any of these characters in the ring. Two NASCAR racers come out to big pops - must be famous. They do an interview with Borash in the ring and this has absolutely nothing to do with wrestling. They're interrupted by a very angry K-Krush (aka Ron Killings, aka R-Truth), who claims that racers aren't real athletes and have no drat business in a wrestling ring. You tell 'em. He says that his kind are athletes, while their kind drive a car around in a circle continuously. Is this supposed to be a racist angle!? Jesus Christ, TNA, I hope not. One of the NASCAR dudes tells him to shut up to a big pop. He says nobody can take R-Truth seriously because of how he's dressed. He's in a bandana and baggy jeans. The NASCAR guy is in a smart polo shirt. This is making me deeply uncomfortable, especially with the whole crowd cheering him on. R-Truth grabs him by the collar and prepares to teach him a lesson, but Brian Christopher runs out for the save! He's in full Too Cool attire, so everybody knows who it is. He hits a couple of moves on K-Krush and the NASCAR guys throw him out of the ring. Christopher gets on the mic and challenges Krush to a match next week, except he says it in a horribly pseudo-racist way. This is awful. I can't believe I've never heard of this segment before. Krush is dragged to the back by about four security guards even though he was just standing on the ramp. More dancing girls. Backstage Jarrett has got his hands on Fargo, the NWA legend who forced him to enter first in the Gauntlet. They're split up by a team of referees and security before Jeff can do any damage. Borash introduces the tag team of Christian York (whom I've never heard of) and Joey Matthews (Joey Mercury). They're facing the hillbillies from earlier, The Dupps. They're accompanied by their ditzy blonde girlfriend, Flo Dupp, who I think is supposed to be their cousin as well. 4. Christian York and Joey Matthews vs The Dupps The Dupps dominate the early going but Christian York hits an impressive springboard dropkick to save his partner from a beatdown. All four of these guys actually seem like good wrestlers as they exchange slams and strikes. Matthews hits the "Virginia necktie", a modified neckbreaker, for a narrow two count. Christian York seems particularly impressive as he breaks off a ten count of punches to hit a jumping back elbow on...the other Dupp behind him. Really not sure which is which. I think Bo Dupp is the taller of the two, but they're both pretty big. Matthews takes Stand Dupp to the outside and keeps him there, leaving York to almost botch a tornado DDT on Bo (but he just about keeps it together). York screams a lot to get the crowd hyped up, but it's slightly off-putting. It's very Dragonball Z. He heads up top for a potential moonsault, but Fluff the valet trips his leg and crotches him on the top. He slides to the canvas and Bo covers him for the win. Weak finish. Winners: The Dupps 1/5 - Too short to be particularly impressive and a weak finish. Good effort by all four guys though, they clearly have potential. The Dupps in particular were a lot more agile than I would have thought. The Dupps stride back up the ramp in Bushwacker fashion. I think Bo might have genuinely picked his nose and put it in his mouth, but I can't tell if he really did. I'm not rewinding to find out. More dancing girls. They're looking a little bored now, especially one brunette who barely moves.
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Sep 14, 2014 23:22
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Yeah Fluff sorry. I'm sure I'll be seeing a lot more of her. I actually have no idea. I'm bracing myself for potentially any non-WWF contracted wrestler to come through the curtain next. That segment with Jarrett, Shamrock and Hall was a prime example.
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Sep 15, 2014 00:27
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Xerzes posted:It always gets worse. YES! Thanks, I knew I recognised him from somewhere.
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Sep 15, 2014 01:55
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NWA-TNA Pay Per View #1 PART 3 Before the main event we get an extended clip of a music video from country singer Toby Keith (not familiar with him). It lasts for a while, but we finally get thrown back to the ring and it's time for the main event! Oh, no it's not. It's actually time for Toby Keith to come out on the stage and play us a different song of his. Fantastic. Oh wow. It's almost a parody of the sort of jingoistic redneck stuff Americans are lampooned for. "You'll be sorry you messed with the U S of A, we'll put a boot in your rear end, it's the American way". Everybody's whooping and cheering along though. gently caress. Somebody stop him. Oh my word, somebody actually DOES stop him! It's my hero Jeff Jarrett! He marches down to the ring and shoves over Toby's mic along the way, before cutting a promo in the ring. He tells him to get his angry American rear end out of here! gently caress yeah Jarrett! I didn't realise he was playing a babyface on this show. Toby tries to get down to the ring to "kick his rear end", but security stops him and takes him backstage. 5. NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Gauntlet For The Gold Well, Jeff Jarrett is already established as the number one entrant in this match. Here comes number two hurtling down to the ring - it's Buff Bagwell! Could this show get any better? Bagwell beats on Jarrett and almost throws him out, before hitting the Blockbuster from the second rope. Buff could press the advantage but instead decides to pose for the hard camera. He charges at Jarrett who backdrops him over and out. Elimination #1: Buff Bagwell (by Jeff Jarrett) That was quick. We still have 25 seconds to kill until the next entrant. Jeff antagonizes the crowd until number three makes his way out - it's Lash LeRoux, or Corporal Cajun of WCW's Misfits In Action stable. You know the one, led by General Hugh G. Rection. Jarrett throws him immediately out through the middle rope and whips him into a dangerously flimsy looking guardrail. What's the bet Jeff makes at least the final two here? They get back in the ring and Jarrett hits The Stroke, aka the least electrifying move in sports entertainment, before throwing a weakened LeRoux over the top. Elimination #2: Lash LeRoux (by Jeff Jarrett) Next up is Screamin' Norman Smiley, who clearly won't last long. Wasn't he a comedy jobber in WCW's later days? Smiley stops Jarrett mid-charge to dance - it gets a huge pop. He's really over apparently. Jeff isn't amused and flattens him with a clothesline. Smiley comes back with a surprisingly big powerslam but falls victim to a devious low blow. A second Stroke follows and Norman goes for a ride. Elimination #3: Norman Smiley (by Jeff Jarrett) Are they going to try and make the Stroke TNA's version of the Pedigree or Tombstone? It's knocking people clean out. The fifth entrant makes his way to the ring - it's Apollo, a big Puerto Rican hoss who comes out to no reaction. He finally gets the better of the dominant Jarrett, battering him with very tame looking clotheslines and a gentle neckbreaker. He hoists Jarrett up for a gorilla press to throw him out of the ring, but it's clearly meant to be broken up by the next entrant. Unfortunately Apollo does this WAY too early and has to hold Jeff there like an idiot, refusing to throw him out of the ring until K-Krush makes the save. Krush is teaming up with Jarrett because they're both heels I suppose, but I like to think he's thanking him for dealing with the racist country singer from earlier. Krush hits a nice axe kick to the back of Apollo's head, allowing Jarrett to recover in the corner. The heels then take turns beating on the Puerto Rican until the next entrant makes his way to the ring. It's the imaginatively named Slash (is this an e-Fed?), led by his stable's manager, Father James Mitchell. Mitchell looks to be Ministry-era Undertaker in smaller manager form, with maybe a shade of Bray Wyatt thrown in. Slash is a big boring hoss. The two big guys collide and Apollo looks to be winning the exchange with a jumping DDT. He goes to throw Slash out, but Jarrett intervenes to keep more heels in the ring with him. Tenay and West are baffled for some reason. Next is Del Rios, another hoss. This one looks exactly like Scott Steiner, and I mean exactly like him. I thought it was at first - I got unspeakably excited.  Ed Ferrara explicitly points out that Rios looks familiar, but Tenay plays dumb. He hooks up Slash for a belly-to-belly but gets bitten on the forehead. Justice is our next entrant, yet another hoss - this time of the chubby variety. Wikipedia informs me that it's actually an early gimmick of Abyss! He starts dishing out big boots and drills Del Rios with the black hole slam, although I doubt it's called that yet.The next entrant (to a big pop) is Konnan. He beats on Justice for a while and hits a big facebuster. Orale. The next man out is Joel Gertner! He's not competing though, he's just here to introduce his new tag team - The Rainbow Express. They consist of Lenny and Bruce, but only Bruce will be entering the match. They stride out and...oh wow, it's horribly offensive. They're just two very stereotypical gay men, walking effeminately arm in arm down the ramp. The crowd are screaming abuse. Jesus. Next up we've got Rick Steiner to a pop - hopefully he'll clear out some of the ring. It's getting very crowded in there. He grabs Slash and hoists him very clumsily out of the ring for our first non-Jarrett based elimination. Elimination #4: Slash (by Rick Steiner) Justice charges at Rick, but the Dog Faced Gremlin picks him up with impressive ease and hits a big slam. A clothesline follows and takes Justice clean out of the ring. Elimination #5: Justice (by Rick Steiner) It's time for another entrant, this time Malice. He's Slash's tag team partner and is about as generic. He looks pretty much the same but with hair. Oh poo poo, wait a second. He's actually quite a lot bigger, as he scoops up Del Rios and plants him with a chokeslam. Bruce takes a chokeslam as well, followed by Konnan. K-Krush tries to make a heel alliance, but Malice doesn't give a poo poo and hits him with a chokeslam as well. Bruce goes for a ride over the top rope, as do Krush and Del Rios. Elimination #6: Bruce (by Malice) Elimination #7: K-Krush (by Malice) Elimination #8: Del Rios (by Malice) Konnan gets tossed as well, but it looks like he's going to land on the apron. He does, and then steps to the floor. Clearly didn't want to take a bump - coward. Elimination #9: Konnan (by Malice) Rick Steiner faces up to the monster now, and charges across the ring at him. Low bridge! The fan favourite is out. Elimination #10: Rick Steiner (by Malice) We'll continue this in part 4. WHO CAN STOP THE MIGHTY MALICE!? Find out next time.
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Sep 15, 2014 21:15
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NWA-TNA Pay Per View #1 PART 4 5. NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Gauntlet For The Gold - contd. Jarrett and Malice team up to toss Apollo, but he skins the cat as Scott Hall comes out to a big reception. Everybody brawls sloppily until Apollo hits a fairly nice superkick on Malice. Can we call it a decentkick or an okaykick instead? Hall hits the Razor's Edge on Jeff and just leaves him on the canvas. Throw him out! Hall points to the back and waves Toby Keith to the ring. I was hoping we'd seen the last of him. He surprises everybody by hitting a pretty good vertical suplex on Jarrett, before he and Hall toss the heel out of the match. Elimination #11: Jeff Jarrett (by Scott Hall and Toby Keith) Toby Keith, a non-wrestler, having just helped eliminate the top heel in the company, leaves. Job done. Jarrett staggers to the back and Keith follows him menacingly up the ramp. I hope Jarrett conjures a guitar out of nowhere and blasts him with it, but I'm not holding my breath. Apollo and Hall take turns chopping Malice until "The Wildman" Chris Harris dashes to the ring to even the face/heel odds. He hits a nice Thesz press on Apollo and pounds away with lefts (unusual) until GANGREL RUSHES TO THE RING! WOO! Except they've called him "Vampire Warrior". I'm not sure he's an official entrant. He came out without a countdown, but Toby Keith came out at the end of a countdown and wasn't an active participant. Maybe they're making up for that now. Who loving knows? I'll go ahead and assume Vampire Warrior is officially in this match and I desperately want him to win. Here comes "Dangerous" Devon Storm, aka Crowbar of WCW. I always used to mix him up with Kanyon for some reason, although I suspect Kanyon was way better. Storm and Harris have a chop battle in one corner (Storm's are better). Scott Hall sits himself on the top rope and watches the action for a while. Vampire Warrior looks at him and doesn't do anything - because they're both faces I think - but Hall jumps down and hits him when his back is turned. Don't trust da Bad Guy. Next up is "The King of Old School" Steve Corino, a guy I've heard a lot about on the internet. I don't actually know too much about him. Tenay mentions that he's the only former NWA World Heavyweight champ in this match. He immediately seems a cut above everybody else, blasting Chris Harris with a yakuza kick in the corner. Apollo almost tosses Malice, but James Mitchell helps shove him back into the ring from the outside. Devon Storm busts out an okaykick on Scott Hall as Ken Shamrock makes his entrance. Right, we have a ring to clear. Let's see who wins this thing. Shamrock stands in the middle of the ring and kicks out as people go past. He tries to jump-kick Malice's face off, but the big man catches him and slams him powerfully into the mat. Nice. Everyone settles into a boring brawl - isn't that supposed to happen in the midstages of a Rumble? This is nearly the end! Oh no, here comes the countdown again. I thought Shamrock was the last entrant, but apparently not. Here comes our actual 20th entrant, The New Racist Brian Christopher. Grandmaster ducks a wild right from Chris Harris and flings him over the top. Elimination #12: Chris Harris (by Brian Christopher) Devon Storm charges at Christopher and is backdropped over the top. Vampire Warrior proves himself to be equally stupid and does the exact same thing. Elimination #13: Devon Storm (by Brian Christopher) Elimination #14: Vampire Warrior (by Brian Christopher) Yes, Grandmaster Sexay is clearing out this rumble. Not only that, he's doing it in really boring fashion! This continues as Corino misses a right hand and gets clotheslined to the floor. Elimination 15: Steve Corino (by Brian Christopher) Christopher dances into the middle of the ring and accidentally backs into Malice. He eats a huge chokeslam for his troubles and is left dazed on the canvas. The other four remaining men glare at each other across his carcass...until Shamrock boots Christopher in the spine and throws him out. Really weird spot - not sure what purpose it served. Elimination #16: Brian Christopher (by Ken Shamrock) We're down to our final four: Apollo, Malice, Hall, and Shamrock. What a dream team. New allies Apollo and Scott Hall beat Malice into the ropes. Hall encourages Apollo to charge Malice and clothesline him out, and the Puerto Rican foolishly accepts. He inevitably takes a huge backdrop to the floor, and we're down to our last three. Elimination #17: Apollo (by Malice) Shamrock seems to be staying out of harm's way, allowing everybody else to wear each other out. Scott Hall sets up Malice to powerbomb him out, but the bigger man lifts him into a backdrop and eliminates him as well. I don't think a single one of these eliminations has been particularly innovative or exciting. Elimination #18: Scott Hall (by Malice) So here we go. One of Ken Shamrock and Malice is set to join the great legacy of NWA champions. Remember that the final elimination will be contested under singles match rules - no eliminations over the top. Here comes Ricky Steamboat in his referee's shirt. Shamrock charges Malice and immediately takes a huge boot to the face. Malice gets a nearfall with a big sidewalk slam as "Shamrock" chants break out in the crowd. He lifts Ken for a big chokeslam, but Shamrock hits a great reversal and locks in the cross armbreaker. Malice reaches for the ropes but can't get there. He refuses to tap, and eventually James Mitchell pushes the rope closer for him to grab. The commentators don't get this across at all. They return to their feet and Shamrock catches a kick. Ankle Lock! Malice struggles and makes the ropes, but Ken drags him back to the middle of the ring without breaking the hold. Bullshit! James Mitchell is quite rightly going apeshit on the outside. Malice struggles again and is almost there...STEAMBOAT, GET THE gently caress OUT OF THE WAY! The ref is right in the way of his path to the ropes. He eventually moves and Malice grabs it to break the hold. Shamrock refuses to break the hold and keeps it on long after Steamboat's five count. Ricky continues counting!? JUST DQ HIM! 6...7...Steamboat physically pushes Shamrock off but doesn't disqualify him. Ken runs right into a big boot and gets set up for the chokeslam, but he fights it off and hits a belly-to-belly. 1...2...3! The NWA title is won...by a belly-to-belly suplex. Winner and NEW NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Ken Shamrock 1/5 - Lots wrong with this match. First of all, who on earth came up with these names? A 12 year old? Justice, Malice, Slash. The rumble portion of the match was booked very lazily. The ring would fill up, they'd all brawl slowly, one guy would clear a few, and they'd all brawl slowly again. There were no big set piece moments. Finally, that last fall made Shamrock seem like a huge dick. I get that Malice cheated when Mitchell pushed the rope to him, but we've also got our big face refusing to break a hold and getting in the ref's face. Are they trying to make him an edgy anti-hero? Shamrock celebrates with the belt and everyone's happy. BUT WAIT! Here comes Jarrett to inevitably have the last word. He bitches about Toby Keith's interference until Keith strides out onto the stage, accompanied by Jackie Fargo. Fargo garbles an announcement that next week Jarrett will face "their guy" Scott Hall. That'll put butts in seats. Well there we have it. That's the show. Here are some unusual stats, atypical of the product TNA usually puts out. Guitars Smashed: 0 Swerves: 0 But to make up for it... Racist Incidents: Just so many We saw several potential feuds established here. K-Krush vs Brian Christopher, Shamrock vs Malice (which I assume will continue), and Jarrett vs the Racist World Order. quote:Known rWo Members A heinous and powerful mega-stable. Can our hero Jeff Jarrett bring them to justice? Find out next time on TNA #2: Electric Boogaloo. Summary to follow. JGKing fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Nov 3, 2014 |
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Sep 16, 2014 01:38
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NWA-TNA PAY PER VIEW #1 SUMMARY Match Of The Night AJ Styles, Low Ki, and Jerry Lynn vs The Flying Elvises - A massive indie spotfest, but an impressive one. Also, and perhaps more crucially, the only good match on the show. Wrestler Of The Night 1. Jimmy Yang - Some of the poo poo he busted out in this match was outrageous. Potentially less talented in terms of psychology and storytelling, but hard to notice in such a spotty match anyway. 2. Low Ki - His distinct style really helped him to stand out. Excellent striking throughout - certainly left an impression. 3. Jerry Lynn - "You still got it." Never in doubt. He'd have been about 40 at this stage, but you can't tell. Some very impressive moves, including a perfect cradle piledriver. 4. AJ Styles - A short but sweet performance. Not much to do, but executed it all well. Makes me type fast to keep up with him, the bastard. 5. Sonny Siaki - A very dynamic big man. I'm certainly looking forward to seeing more from him. Shouts out to Jorge Estrada; he probably deserved something, but was simply the least impressive in the six man tag. Steve Corino looks very good, but had a disappointingly short stint in the Gauntlet. There are of course way too many PPVs to have my customary Wrestler of the Year contest, so I'll instead be splitting it up. There are 111 weekly shows, so I'll split it into ten contests of eleven shows each. The final tenth will have a bonus show to make up the numbers. Wrestler Of The "1st Tenth" Standings 1. Jimmy Yang - 5 2. Low Ki - 4 3. Jerry Lynn - 3 4. AJ Styles - 2 5. Sonny Siaki - 1 NWA-TNA WEEKLY PAY PER VIEW #1: 3/10 Boooooo. An awful and boring show consisting of a hot opener, a midget match, two literal dicks going over a pair of legit talents, a boring rumble rip-off, and a forgettable tag match. My other TNA thread started with a similarly dreadful PPV, but I was at least optimistic considering the wealth of X Division talent they had at their disposal. Back in 2002 that talent pool seems about half the size, maybe less. Instead we've got a slew of big hoss guys with names like Malice and Slash, while the usual suspects like Hall and Jarrett are prowling around. There's a glimmer of hope for next week, considering the breakneck speed with which wrestlers enter and exit the company (you guys have warned me). We could have a few new show-stealing faces, who knows?
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Sep 16, 2014 02:35
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TNA #2: Electric Boogaloo - June 26th 2002 - Huntsville, Alabama PART 1 The eagle-eyed among you may have realised that this isn't an official TNA poster. It's actually a cleverly doctored image taken from Break 2: Electric Boogaloo, but you can barely notice. This show was apparently taped immediately after the last episode, so I assume the wrestlers will have changed clothes. I wonder if they made the audience change too. Tenay, West and Ferrara recap last week's happenings. Mike Tenay really makes the most disturbing faces when he's listening to his broadcast partner talk. Doesn't matter who it is, he always looks really stimulated by their conversation. He announces that there'll be a round robin tournament tonight to crown the first ever X Division champion. Jarrett comes to the ring and orders the Racist World Order out to face him. His match was supposed to be the main event, but he's such a hero he wants to kick Scott Hall's racist rear end right now. Toby Keith and Jackie Fargo accompany Hall out to the ring - booooo. 1. Jeff Jarrett vs Scott Hall Tenay hypes this as a number one contender match to Shamrock's title. Hall begins by flicking his toothpick into Jarrett's face because he's da bad guy. Jeff takes Scotty down a couple of times and paintbrushes his head, Kurt Angle style. Hall fights back with some right hands and an overhead slam, which Don West sells as the best loving thing he's ever seen on commentary. Jeff is clotheslined out of the ring and Toby Keith advances menacingly. Jarrett backs away (stupid booking) and Jackie Fargo pushes him back into the ring. He places Hall's head over the middle rope and drops a leg over the back of his neck - a very Steve Austin-esque move. West's blatant face-cheering is really annoying me. Jarrett clamps on a sleeper and drags Scott to the canvas, which angers West because he's not rasslin' him. Ferrara counters and says that he's wearing him down - a perfectly valid tactic. Hall powers out and puts on a sleeper of his own but it's countered into a back suplex. No complaints from West about Scott's use of a sleeper by the way. Hall hits a bunch of clotheslines and gets a near fall. West screams that he got him even though he clearly kicked out. This is not making me sympathise with the babyface at all. Say what you want about JR's biased commentary, he was usually very good at maintaining a logical base to his arguments. West is just raving like an idiot. Hall sets up for the Razor's Edge, but K-Krush is on the apron! He pulls Jarrett to safety and gets clocked with a Jackie Fargo right hand for his troubles. Brian Christopher appears out of nowhere (I think he came through the crowd) and chases Krush around the ring, probably attempting to carry out a hate crime. The referee is distracted by this while Jarrett sets up Hall for the Stroke, but here comes Toby Keith with a low blow. The pair slam Jarrett face-first into the mat. It's not really a move, just a hard shove to the canvas. Hall covers and the ref slides in. 1...2...oh right. That puts him away. Okay. To make matters worse, Keith didn't even try to hide from the ref. He actually stood right over Jarrett as Hall made the cover. Winner: Scott Hall 0.5/5 - I know I joked last time that the babyface group seem like heelish dickheads, but they actually do! They made Jeff Jarrett seem like a sympathetic underdog. The Racist World Order is real. The match itself was lethargic and pretty boring, and I've also deducted half a point for that weak finish. Hall shakes Keith's hand with an incredibly grateful expression on his face. Why are they selling this country singer as a big badass? Jarrett nearly poo poo himself when Keith confronted him outside the ring towards the start of the bout. Dancing girls. They're smiling more this time. Must be rWo fans. Disgusting. Some cheesy blaxploitation music hits and an incredibly obese man makes his way to the ring. He looks like Apollo Creed if he completely went off the rails after Rocky 2 (which would actually have made Rocky 3 and 4 much more entertaining). He's led by his valet, the Brown Eyed Girl, which in any other promotion would probably be the most racist thing I've heard so far. It barely registers here. Oh! It turns out this is Cheex, the guy who almost ruined episode #1 before it had started (by accidentally snapping a ring rope). His opponent got a jobber entrance - he's already in the ring. When did he get there!? He must be some kind of teleporter - interesting gimmick. 2. Frank Parker vs Cheex Parker looks like if you go on create-a-wrestler mode and leave everything on default. He's white, bald, and kinda mean looking. In other words, he'd be perfect for the Racist World Order. Frank tries several clotheslines and can't knock Cheex down. Cheex's rump makes Rikishi look like Avril Lavigne. He's also potentially the slowest man I've ever seen. That's not an exaggeration. He knocks Parker down in the corner and hits a running rear end-shot to the face, but it seems to be in slow motion. It's almost a stink face it's so slow. OH WAIT IT'S THAT GIRL AGAIN! Ryan Shamrock, or whatever her TNA name is. She extracted money from one of the referees last episode, and now she's harassing Jeremy Borash at ringside. Cheex performs the slowest Irish whip ever and blocks a sunset flip by sitting down heavily on Parker's chest. 1...2...Cheex gets up? Oh, he wasn't making a cover, he was just THAT SLOW TO GET UP. The ref shouldn't feel bad, it fooled me as well. He hits the Ultimate Warrior splash and gets the three. One of the worst matches I've ever seen. Winner: Cheex DUD/5 - Poor Frank Parker might actually be a competent wrestler, but there's no way to tell with Cheex in there. His slowness cannot be exaggerated. I hope TNA see sense and don't invite him back, but they'll probably push him to the moon. At least we know he won't be joining the Racist World Order. (Or will he? Swerve.) Ryan Shamrock finally gets her cash from Borash, but he isn't happy about handing it over. Meanwhile Cheex and Brown Eyed Girl dance in the ring. Well, she dances. He just sort of exists. Tenay announces that next week we'll have Jarrett and K-Krush vs Scott Hall and Brian Christopher. We need a name for Jarrett and Krush's anti-racism league. Any suggestions? JGKing fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Sep 16, 2014 |
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Sep 16, 2014 23:31
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Genetic Toaster posted:please update the racist World order roster with everyone involved in a racist angle in future shows tia Oh I plan to.
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Sep 17, 2014 01:07
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TNA #2: Electric Boogaloo PART 2 Next up we've got another matchup from the big company-spanning feud, 3. K-Krush vs Brian Christopher Krush starts off by punching Christopher a lot in the face. Solid strategy, I think we can all agree. Lawler Jr fights back with a bulldog, but tries to repeat the move and gets crotched in the turnbuckles. Krush shows off his athleticism, backflipping out of range of a Christopher attack and spin-kicking his head off. Awesome stuff. Christopher gets smacked around some more but he begins to Hulk up. Weird. They never let him do that in the WWF, and with good reason because it sucks. He downs Krush with an enziguri before hitting a big stunner. He climbs up on the top rope and mimicks Austin's "hell yeah" taunt thing. What on earth is he doing!? What's next, the DX crotch chop? Krush regains control and heads to the apron. The two NASCAR guys get up either side of him and lift the middle rope into his crotch. Booooo. The referee sees all this and does gently caress all, probably because he's secretly racist as well. Krush collapses to the canvas, helpfully in perfect range for Christopher to hit his legdrop from the top rope. That's all she wrote. Winner: Brian Christopher 1.5/5 - Decent wrestling by the boys in the ring, but that finish was stupid as gently caress. The NASCAR guys looked stiff and awkward, and it came across as quite heelish. Krush didn't resort to any cheating at all and the babyfaces still screwed him over. The best match on the show so far, but that's not saying much. So that's a clean sweep for the rWo over Jarrett and Krush, but our heroes will have a chance to redeem themselves next week in tag team action. Let's hope they do. The two NASCAR drivers join Christopher in the ring and gloat over Krush's prone body, very much like the real nWo would. I'm waiting for them to spraypaint a racial slur on his back, but they don't actually do anything. They just celebrate a little bit. More dancing girls. They're dancing a lot more urgently than usual. One looks downright angry, like that warehouse scene in Footloose. Shut up, it's a great film. Borash gets in the ring and introduces the Lingerie Battle Royal. 4. Miss TNA Lingerie Battle Royal You can go back to part 2 of the first show if you want to see my list of entrants in this match, but I doubt it's really necessary. It's basically Francine from ECW, the future Mickie James, and a bunch of other women. Francine brawled with the other ECW girl last week and ripped her top off. None of the other girls did anything. One isn't even in the wrestling business, she's a Baltimore Ravens cheerleader. From a non-kayfabe perspective,this probably increases her chances if anything. This isn't over-the-top elimination rules. It's essentially a big bra and panties match. All the girls are wearing baggy white t-shirts and long white pants (I bet the rWo are loving this backstage), and have to eliminate one another by ripping them off. The bell rings and that's exactly what happens. Ferrara and West unleash an utter torrent of seedy comments - it's like Lawler on cocaine. Sasha gets eliminated, prompting Ferrara to say "Sasha's out and I am UP" which isn't something I really needed to know. The Ravens Cheerleader gets eliminated which blows my prediction out of the water. Three girls gang up on Francine and rip most of her clothing off; Tenay says she's on the verge of elimination and Ferrara says he's on the verge of something else. Francine does indeed get eliminated, and appears to be wearing a bra several cup sizes too small. What was she thinking!? She has a tantrum at the foot of the ramp while we're down to the final four inside the ring. Ferrara leaves his commentary post to console her and helps her to her feet, but cops a feel of her boob as he does so. She acts surprised, kneels down in front of him and removes his belt. Ferrara's all like "awww yeahhh", as if he's legitimately going to get a blowjob on Pay Per View. Predictably, Francine instead uses the belt to whip the gently caress out of him. Back in the ring we're down to the last two: Elektra and some blonde I forgot the name of. The blonde wins and that's it. Luckily Borash announces her as the winner, so I can write her name in the description. Winner and NEW Miss TNA: Taylor Vaughn DUD/5 - An absolute waste of time. Some of the girls were hot and that's awesome and everything, but I don't watch wrestling for hot girls. I prefer traditional wrestling shows. I want to see scantily-clad men press their sweat-glazed bodies close while pretending to hate each other, and shame on TNA for failing to provide enough of that. Francine charges the ring and strips Taylor down because she's a sore loser. She whips her with Ferrara's belt a little bit and leaves. Dancing girls. Phew, I hadn't seen a half-naked woman for two seconds and I was starting to worry. Goldilocks is backstage with Apollo. He's doing that thing muscular guys can do where they make their pecs jiggle, but he's only doing it on one side and at really weird intervals. It looks involuntary. She asks him a question but they're interrupted by a prissy diva and her bland-looking wrestler. I don't know their names. The diva lady is rude to Goldilocks and claims that she should be interviewing her client instead. He stands in the back looking generic. Goldilocks handles the situation very calmly and isn't intimidated at all - she just cuts the interview and they go back to the arena. Wow. I'm not sold on that heel and his manager at all. It's hard to be scared of someone when they're getting rebuffed by phrases such as "if you have a problem take it up with the management", which is a line Goldilocks genuinely said in a very measured, deadpan voice. Awful segment. Tenay reveals the pair of heels to be David Young and his valet Bobcat. She was apparently one of Godfather's hoes back in 1999 and even got attacked by Viscera, thus immediately making her one of the biggest stars on the TNA roster. Dancing girls. It's been girl overload these past few segments. We've got the pay-off of that interview segment up next. 5. Apollo vs David Young Young's another create-a-wrestler on default guy, but instead of a bald head his creator has opted for the receding hairline. Apollo dominates the early stages and this looks like it could be a squash to get the hoss babyface over. We cut briefly to Bobcat parading in front of the fans. Several reach out to try and grope her - it's a loving wrestling show guys. Apollo hits a belly-to-belly and Young bails to the outside for a breather, but the Puerto Rican vaults over the top. It would look cool, but we cut away at exactly the wrong moment to see Bobcat preening, so we miss the entire spot. This is why Kevin Dunn has a job despite being universally hated. I'm trying to follow the action in the ring but there are way too many cuts to Bobcat. She's flirting with Borash now and starts to unbutton his shirt. Young is distracted by this and gets rolled up for two. Apollo hits a springboard DDT but Young fights back with a spinebuster. Tenay says that it's his finishing move. Really? He's no Arn Anderson. Young should go for the cover, but again is distracted by Bobcat flirting with Borash. Young tries to get her attention with a moonsault but Apollo rolls out of the way. They return to their feet and the babyface hits Young with some sweet torso music. He hits some kind of fireman's carry slam and that's good for the three count. Winner: Apollo 1/5 - So very bland, but at least the right guy went over. Bobcat's gimmick was more annoying than entertaining. Apollo probably deserves a better feud. Bobcat gets in the ring and Young is all like "why the gently caress weren't you looking out for me?". She ignores him and dances around the ring to precisely no heat. JGKing fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Sep 17, 2014 |
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Sep 17, 2014 04:47
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TNA #2: Electric Boogaloo PART 3 This PPV shows it's age as Tenay invites "those of you who have access to the internet" to visit the TNA website. Joel "I'm a licker not a biter, and for a girl with me it's gonna be an all-nighter, I'm a lover not a fighter, but I never need a writer" Gertner is in the ring. I don't get that last part. He introduces Lenny and Bruce, The Rainbow Express. That's the stereotypically gay tag team from last week. Gertner launches into a very fair and progressive promo about how we should respect those with alternative lifestyles and view them only on the mertis of their wrestling ability. The only problem is that it's a heel promo. They're scheduled to face The Dupps. Their music hits but nobody comes out. We cut backstage where the boys are refusing to wrestle the Rainbow Express. Because they're gay. The camera pans slightly across to reveal James Storm and Chris Harris entering the building. Storm teamed with Psicosis last week and lost to The Johnsons. Harris was briefly in the Gauntlet match but was eliminated by Brian Christopher. An executive runs up and begs them to get in the ring and take the Dupps' place. They agree and set off to get changed into their wrestling gear, but the suit says there's no time. They'll have to go out in their street clothes. 6. The Rainbow Express vs Chris Harris and James Storm The boys sprint down to the ring and luckily appear to be wearing matching jeans. It's almost as if this was planned. Harris takes Bruce out of the ring with a clothesline while Storm goes to work on Lenny, but the Cowboy falls victim to a lethargic tornado DDT. Tenay hypes next week's tag team tournament, explaining that Harris and Storm are usually rivals, but are willing to team up here to potentially gain a spot in the tourney. Lenny tags in Bruce by kissing him on the hand, which angers Don West a lot. Ferrara defends the heels by explaining that they can do what they want. I sense an expansion of the rWo into a homophobic division. The referee turns a blind eye to the Rainbow Express' double-teaming of Storm. West claims that they shouldn't get special rules just because they're special people. Ferrara counters, claiming that they aren't looking to be regarded as special people at all - they are who they are. I've never known a face/heel dynamic be quite so flagrantly backward before. The Express exchange quick tags (each with a kiss on the hand) before Lenny locks Storm in the Walls of Jericho, which Tenay calls the Tigertamer. Are you loving serious!? Harris gets the hot tag and swings the momentum back in the faces' favour. Storm takes Bruce outside and slams him face-first into the apron ("he won't be kissing anyone with those lips") while Harris hits Lenny with a backslide for two. Bruce gets back in and tries to interfere, but Harris sends Lenny into him. The pair collide, sending the legal man backwards into a schoolboy rollup for three. Winners: Chris Harris and James Storm 1/5 - Sloppy and short, but I enjoyed the idea of Harris and Storm teaming up on a whim. Makes them seem like good fightin' faces. Storm and Harris are shocked that they won. They hug it out at the foot of the ramp and the referee raises their hands. N'awww.  Ricky Steamboat is in the ring and asks everybody if they've had a good time tonight. I certainly haven't, but everybody else cheers. Maybe it's because every single match has ended in a face victory. Steamboat brings new NWA Champion Ken Shamrock down to the ring. Ricky lists off the great NWA champs Shamrock will join in history (and includes himself). Kenny promises to defend the title with pride and honour. He says that he's been all over the world. Here are the places he lists as proof that he has indeed been all over the world. "Japan. All over the United States. Puerto Rico." That's some pretty extensive travelling there Ken. Shamrock congratulates himself on becoming the champion to cheers, but he's cut off by Father James Mitchell who has an announcement. He claims to be on a mission from God - not the crowd's god, but his God. He means Satan you guys. He wants to make sure that his organisation controls the NWA Championship, so issues Shamrock a challenge. He dares him to face one of his Disciples of the New Church and put his belt on the line next week. Mitchell brings Slash out onto the stage with him. Shamrock laughs and says he'll happily put the belt on the line right now, but as he's talking Malice slides into the ring from behind. Chokeslam! He beats on the champ until a host of refs and security men come out to break it up. Mitchell laughs and his stable leave. He's a good talker - he probably deserves a better group of wrestlers. It's time now for the round robin X Division tournament. I'm not sure how this is going to work, because all four guys come down to the ring. We've got AJ Styles, Psicosis, Low Ki, and Jerry Lynn. The first two square off and the others take a seat at ringside. 7. TNA X-Division Championship: AJ Styles vs Psicosis vs Low Ki vs Jerry Lynn Tenay actually explains that this is a double elimination tournament, not round robin (which they DEFINITELY said last week). You have to lose twice to be knocked out, and the matches continue until one man remains. Styles and Psicosis begin with flippy poo poo, and AJ hits perhaps the first genuinely super superkick in this thread so far. Psicosis regains control and hits a lovely guillotine legdrop for two. He goes for a hurricanrana, but AJ catches him and hits the Styles Clash! 1...2...3. One loss for Psicosis. Low Ki wastes no time and charges into the ring, hitting Styles with kick after kick. WHAT THE gently caress!? AJ kips up into a hurricanrana! I've never seen that before! Ki hits a wicked jumping roundhouse and perches Styles on the top rope. He locks him in some sort of outrageous chokehold and rolls him back down onto the canvas, and Styles just about snags a rope. Low Ki boots him in the face and goes for a corcscrew off the top, but AJ moves. Low Ki rolls out of a crash landing but gets caught with a German suplex. AJ rolls through back to his feet and crushes Ki with an inverted facebuster. That's three. These guys are next level. Jerry Lynn runs straight into the ring and blasts AJ with a cradle piledriver! 1...2...3! AJ, Psicosis and Low Ki now all have one loss each. Lynn vs Psicosis is next. The Mexican blindsides Lynn with a missile dropkick to the back of the head! Most of my sentences are now ending with exclamation marks! The pair exchange momentum for a while until Lynn hits a top-rope facebuster for two. Jerry gets flipped to the outside and Psicosis flies with a somersault plancha! West's semen is currently all over the announce table. A spinning leg lariat (thanks Tenay) from the top rope fetches a two count for Psicosis, but his next trip up top is met with a missile dropkick to the gut as he leaps. Cradle piledriver! 1...2...3. Psicosis is out. Low Ki goes to work with his kicks and chops. He sets up Lynn on the top rope and goes for a headscissors, but Jerry rolls through for a two count. Lynn eats a few hard kicks to the chest but isn't fazed - he asks for more, ducks one, and hits a big enziguri of his own. Lynn hits an axe kick from the apron when Ki sticks his head through the ropes to butt him. Very unique spot. Lynn goes for a cradle piledriver...reversed into an armbar...reversed again into a powerbomb! It only gets two. Cradle piledriver gets the three though. Low Ki is out. AJ is in and we're down to the final two. Does he have to pin Lynn twice since Jerry hasn't lost a fall yet? I doubt it, but that seems unfair. Discus clothesline immediately gets two, as does a spinning heel kick. Lynn reverses a Styles Clash into a hurricanrana, probably because AJ shouted "STYLES CLASH!" as he set up for it. AJ does a double kick into a backflip off Lynn's chest, because that's just sort of the poo poo he can do. This is the sort of wrestling match the 10 year old me would book in my head. HELLACIOUS tornado DDT from Lynn gets two. So does a running sitout powerbomb from the corner. AJ is apparently made of rubber. He blocks a move and turns it into the Styles Clash for three! OH MY GOD! They've actually remembered the rule about two falls for an elimination! Sorry for underestimating you TNA! Steamboat is in to act as the ref for the final fall. He did this last week too - is it some sort of fetish? They trade a shitload of near falls and pinning reversals, although it comes across as overly planned. A double clothesline puts both men down for a little rest. Lynn rolls to the apron and stuns AJ over the top rope when he comes near. Styles gets rammed headfirst into the crowd barrier at a stupidly fast pace - it looked painful. AJ backflips off the apron and catches Lynn in an inverted neckbreaker onto the mats. Ferrara compares this to great matches throughout history. It's really good but it's not quite up there. Back in the ring, Lynn hangs AJ out to dry over the top rope and hits him with a rope-assisted DDT. He goes for a vertebreaker (love that move) but AJ rolls out and goes for a hurricanrana...REVERSED INTO A HUGE FACEBUSTER! 1...2...NO!? Okay I think I know who's going to win now. That would have surely been the finish if Lynn was going over. AJ reverses another piledriver attempt into a fireman's carry somehow. He drops Lynn's neck across his knee but this also gets two. These nearfalls are getting silly. Last week Ken Shamrock won the NWA title with a belly-to-belly suplex. Brainbuster by Lynn. Of course it only gets two. A sleeper hold is reversed into a jawbreaker, but Jerry regains control and hits a superpelx for yet another two. Only the commentators bit on the near fall. AJ's up top now and hits a ridiculous corkscrew thing. Not even sure what that was, but it gets him the win. Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: AJ Styles 4/5 - The ability of these four guys is unreal, but this was prevented from getting to a higher level by the drawn out nature of the ending (and the ludicrous number of nearfalls). It was spotty as hell, but I enjoyed it anyway. Potentially innovative at the time.[/u][/b] Confetti rains down. Not good confetti - poo poo confetti. Streamers explode into the ring as Styles celebrates with the new belt. The commentators sign off by hyping the tag team championship tournament next week. Other matches include Shamrock vs Malice and the rWo vs Team Absolute Justice. Sorry for the length of the update. This was supposed to be split into four parts, but I was fooled by the length of that last match. Quick question - are The Dupps and Don West up for inclusion into the rWo? They exhibited some textbook narrow-minded behaviour, but homophobia and racism are obviously two very different disciplines. Summary to follow.
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Sep 17, 2014 17:14
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TNA#2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO SUMMARY Match Of The Night AJ Styles vs Psicosis vs Low Ki vs Jerry Lynn - Would have been match of the night on most cards anyway, but there was really no competition here. Everything else was pretty dreadful. Wrestler Of The Night 1. AJ Styles - The best of a good bunch in the main event. 2. Jerry Lynn - Struggled slightly to keep up with AJ, but really not as much as his age would lead you to expect. Fantastic. 3. Low Ki - I sort of wish he'd stayed in the match longer. His slightly different style is great. 4. Psicosis - Eliminated first, but still had enough time to wow everybody with some great moves. 5. Brian Christopher - Wrestled competently, I guess? K-Krush could also have been in here, but Christopher did very slightly more in their match. Nobody else on the card deserved to be anywhere near the top five. Wrestler Of The "1st Tenth" Standings 1. Jerry Lynn - 7 Low Ki - 7 AJ Styles - 7 2. Jimmy Yang - 5 3. Psicosis - 2 4. Sonny Siaki - 1 Brian Christopher - 1 So the first rWo member cracks the standings. Could this be the start of an almighty takeover? Almost certainly not. TNA #2: Electric Boogaloo - 3/10 Whereas the first event was mainly poor with some okay stuff, this event was mainly dreadful with some great stuff. Therefore they work out about the same. The main event was great but just about everything else utterly failed to deliver. It was appalling for the most part, especially the Lingerie Battle Royal and the unfortunate debut of Cheex. It's also worth noting that every single match ended with a face victory (although admittedly there were no heels in the main event). The only heel victory was Malice's beatdown of Shamrock, and that'll no doubt be avenged next time. Guitars Smashed: 0 Swerves: 0 And it was still a diabolical show.
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Sep 17, 2014 17:30
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Bigotry World Order it is.quote:Known Bigotry World Order Members Junpei - Sadly I'm not making any of it up. Luckily the storylines haven't yet developed enough to become convoluted, but I'm sure it won't take long. oatgan - She does!
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Sep 17, 2014 19:05
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TNA #3: Senior Year - July 3rd 2002 - Nashville, Tennessee PART 1 Fireworks rain spew out from all areas of the arena as Tenay informs us it's the eve of Independence Day. I think we could get Bigotry on a whole different level tonight. Tenay introduces us to Jim Miller, the NWA president. His name flashes up on the bottom of the screen and it's actually Jim Wilson. Great work TNA. Wilson presents Tenay with a trophy, symbolising TNA's welcome into the NWA family. It's one of those big professional wrestling trophies with the easily breakable middle section. I wonder if it'll survive the night. Wilson also explains that he's been on a tour of Japan and met a big wrestler by the name of Omori. He books a title match between Omori and the NWA Champion for next week. There's no mentioning of Omori's credentials as a wrestler or any of his backstory. He's literally described as "a big Japanese guy" who Wilson happened to meet. 1. NWA World Tag Team Championship Qualifying Match: Chris Harris and James Storm vs The Johnsons Oh wow, the Johnsons are actually back. Mortimer Plumtree leads his charges to the ring and pre-emptively declares them the winners of tonight's tournament. Harris and Storm are now best buds after their makeshift tag team debut last week, which is nice. The Johnsons win the early exchange over Harris and quickly take care of Storm as well, busting out a patented double team move I'll call "loving throwing their opponent into the air with little regard for their safety". Storm becomes the face in peril for a while (and does a good job of it) before fighting back with an atomic drop and some sweet chest music. Hot tag to Harris - here he comes. He clears the ring and leaps at one Johnson with a crossbody, but gets caught in mid air. Missile dropkick from Storm! He kicks Harris into a cover and that's enough for three. Big pop for the boys. Winners: Chris Harris and James Storm 1.5/5 - Storm looked good, Harris looked okay, the Johnsons need to get out of the company pretty fast. The finish was good though. Plumtree berates his team and shoves them in the chest. The Johnsons aren't happy. One picks him up and seems to be preparing a chokeslam, but instead sets him on his feet and pushes him over instead. Why? I suspect Plumtree might have sandbagged on the jump. The Johnsons leave and Plumtree hobbles after them apologising. Well that didn't last long. We're two episodes in and already the stable is broken up. Face turn for The Johnsons? I hope not. Scott Hall is out to cut a promo. He says "hey yo" and literally nothing else, because Jarrett's music immediately cuts him off. Shortest promo ever! Jarrett does not gently caress around when interrupting people. "Hey yo my rear end" he begins, before calling Hall a bitch. Scott tells him to bring his rear end down to the ring and fight him right now. Jeff is on his way, but NWA President Jim Wilson steps into the aisle to stop him. Tenay gets his name wrong again, or maybe the sign did earlier. A google search reveals that Tenay was right, but the graphic was wrong. I'm really sorry Mike, I'll never doubt you again. Miller tells Jarrett he'll fight Hall according to schedule, not right now. Jeff respects his wishes and backs off...but here comes K-Krush out of the crowd to blindside Scott! Hall immediately gains control and sets up for the Razor's Edge, but Krush slips out and eats a suplex instead. He gets clotheslined out of the ring and Hall stands tall. Worst ambush ever. The dancing girls are back. Goldilocks is backstage in the locker room where Storm and Young have been attacked. Storm is bleeding very heavily but we have no idea why. Goldilocks tries to find out but security ushers her away. 2. Anthony Ingram vs Monty Brown Ingram is a local boy and gets the jobber entrance, so it's not looking good for him. If you haven't heard of Monty Brown he's a muscular angry black man. They'll make him a heel in no time. He seems to be a bit of a tweener right now as he grabs a mic and announces that he wants Shamrock's title. Brown decimates Ingram with various suplexes before looking directly into a ringside camera and saying "Alpha Bomb". Well that's one way to get your finisher over. It's good for three as well. Winner: Monty Brown 1/5 - A very short squash. Did it's job and got Brown over as a threat, but this is something you'd expect on free TV. I guess that's the drawback of doing weekly PPVs. Dancing girls. The prettiest one gets the least camera time. Never mind. Tenay throws us backstage to Goldilocks and NWA President Jim Miller, but instead we just get Goldilocks chatting to some security guards. She says she can't find Miller anywhere, but none of the security guys have seen him either. He asks a passing tag team (who I don't recognise) but they haven't seen him either. She apologises and says she was hoping to bring us an interview. Why? We've already had an interview with him and he got involved in the Jarrett/Hall segment. What more could he possibly have to say? Puppet the Psycho Dwarf comes out of nowhere and demands she interview him. He's the midget from episode one, the one who didn't fight. He's angry about this (although he seemed fine with it at the time - I assumed he was promoting the fight between the other two). He calls out Gary Coleman and Mini-Me, vowing not to leave tonight until he kicks some midget rear end. Does he realise he's a midget as well? He's talking like he hates them. Borash introduces The Rainbow Express and Joel Gertner to the ring. Goldilocks is backstage with their opponents. This is very disorientating. Buff Bagwell is teaming with Apollo. He brags about how he's a six time World Tag Team champ with five different partners, a record he plans to improve to six and seven. He hypes Apollo as the second best man in the company (behind himself) and cuts the Puerto Rican off because nobody will understand his accent. Flirting with racism there Buff, but we'll let it slide. Apollo doesn't look happy at being regarded number two, but they head to the ring anyway. What kind of recapper would I be if I didn't find out who those five different partners were. Here we go. 2 Cold Scorpio The Patriot (twice) Scotty Riggs Rick Steiner Shane Douglas Pick your favourite, guys. 3. NWA World Tag Team Championship Qualifying Match: The Rainbow Express vs Buff Bagwell and Apollo Lenny and Bruce delay the start of the match to hug it out. Bruce gains control of the early going because Bagwell showboats between each move and leaves himself open to attack. Lenny gets the tag (via a kiss on the hand) and shoves his palm in Buff's face. Buff isn't impressed and pokes him in the eyes as Alicia (Ryan Shamrock) comes down to the ring. Who's she going to extract money from this time? And when on earth are we going to get an answer to this storyline? This time it's Ed Ferrara and he hands over the cash without protest or explanation. Meanwhile Apollo is kicking rear end inside the ring and drops Bruce with a sitout powerbomb. Lenny hits a few chops to the chest before stopping to admire Apollo's pecs! Hahaha that's great. It gets a lot of heat from the crowd though. Apollo responds with some hard chops of his own and a powerslam. Gertner grabs his foot from outside the ring and Bruce hits a stunner into the top rope. Nice spot. Tornado DDT by Lenny gets a two count. A full nelson slam tips the momentum back in Apollo's favour after a couple of double team spots from the Rainbow Express. Bagwell gets the hot tag and cleans house. He somehow botches a crossbody to take Lenny out of the ring, what an idiot. Apollo hits an incredibly good superkick on Bruce and hits some sort of TKO slam, but Lenny comes back in to knock him out of the ring from behind. Bagwell hits his Blockbuster on Bruce but stops to pose again, turning right into a superkick from Lenny (not anywhere near as good as Apollo's). It gets the three. Winners: The Rainbow Express 2/5 - Decent tag team action, Buff's botch notwithstanding. Good heeling by the Rainbow boys and an impressive display from Apollo. Gertner and the Express leave victoriously, leaving Apollo and Bagwell in the ring. Apollo looks disappointed in Bagwell for his constant showboating and leaves. Buff sits on the apron and Ferrara seizes the initiative to interview him. Bagwell drops the Buff gimmick and demands that everyone refer to him by his real name: Marcus. He says that he came back from a broken neck and nobody gave a poo poo, and that he's a six time tag champ who just got beaten by two gay guys. NEW ORDER MEMBER! GET HIM IN THE ORDER! He says that being Buff ruined his whole career and that he wants to go home. He gives Ferrara his hat and storms out. Homophobia aside this was quite a good promo. I felt a little bit of sympathy for Bagwell, although that wasn't shared by the crowd. They serenade him with a chorus of "na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" as he leaves.
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Sep 17, 2014 20:57
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RZApublican posted:New name: White World Order Yes.
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Sep 17, 2014 21:26
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TNA #3: Senior Year PART 2 Shamrock comes out and he's angry that Monty Brown wants a title shot after just one match in the NWA. He's getting "what" chants throughout his promo - I guess this is about the time Austin brought them into fashion. Mitchell interrupts from the back row of the arena. He's miles away, lit by a spotlight as the rest of the building is plunged into darkness. He says Shamrock doesn't need to worry about Monty Brown. He just needs to worry about Malice. The lights come back on and Malice is standing over Shamrock on the ramp. He's blindsided him again. EMTs run out and fix a brace around Ken's neck. How did they know his neck was hurt so quickly? We go to Goldilocks backstage trying to get word on Storm and Harris' condition. She tries to interview a backstage suit (apparently the vice president), but he's extremely busy. Shamrock's hurt, he's down a tag team, and president Jim Miller is nowhere to be seen. Jerry Lynn offers to find a partner and replace the injured faces in the tournament, but the VP is too busy to listen to him and tells him to go away. Puppet The Psycho Dwarf comes down to the ring with a kendo stick. He grabs the microphone and says "GIMME THAT MICROPHONE!" into it. Um, you already have the microphone. He issues a challenge to any midget, and it's answered by a relatively tall midget called Todd Stone answers the call. He's 4'9" apparently. 4. Midget Match: Puppet vs Todd Stone Puppet wails on Stone with the kendo stick and hits him with a trashcan. He sticks the can over his head and wails away with the stick, before hitting a suplex and then an F5 type move onto the can. There we go. Winner: Puppet 0.5/5 - A hardcore midget squash match. What more do you want? I think I've realised why Puppet has such a beef with midgets despite being one. I don't think he's a midget at all - I think he's a dwarf. I'm really not sure, but I'm certain there's a difference between the two. Puppet grabs his kendo stick and smacks the ref and Borash. Don West is going crazy - he loves it. Puppet walks past the announce table and West extends a hand, exclaiming "way to go little guy!". He gets a few kendo stick shots as well. Good. Goldilocks is backstage with Shamrock and the EMTs. They don't know his condition right now and are unable to say if he'll be able to wrestle, although Ken is bravely trying to get to his feet. Goldilocks has had a shitload of segments tonight and hasn't been able to find out any information at all in any of them. Francine makes her entrance and Ferrara still has the hots for her despite her beating him up last week with his own belt. 5. Francine vs Taylor Vaughn Vaughn is introduces as Miss TNA following on from her win last week. Francine removes Ferrara's belt from her kneepad and goes to town on Taylor until the ref snatches it from her. Vaughn rips it out of his grasp and whips Francine right back. The ref tries to get the belt from her and she turns on him! He calls for the bell. Francine wins by DQ. Winner: Francine DUD/5 - Pointless filler. Also, why didn't Francine get disqualified for using the belt first? Vaughn leaves angrily. Ferrara gets in the ring and helps Francine to her feet, raising her arm and declaring her the winner. I think he's supposed to accidentally grope her boob, but Francine very clearly moves it into position. It makes her subsequent beatdown of him seem nonsensical. We go over to Borash who's making a special announcement. He gets shoved by Francine as she storms to the back and he sells it brilliantly. Great facial expressions. Borash introduces Hermie Sadler to the stage, one of the two NASCAR dudes. The more awkward one, I might add. He's brought his pit crew along with him and they stand pointlessly behind him. He thanks the crowd for making him and the other NASCAR guy welcome, but is interrupted by K-Krush. A team of security guys immediately come out and stand behind him. Krush cuts a great heel promo telling Sadler that nobody cares about NASCAR and daring him to do something about it. Man he deserves to be in a better feud than this. Of course he does. Sadler thinks for a moment...and tackles Krush to the ground! His pit crew drag him off while the security team hold Krush back as well. Krush says he's too busy to deal with Sadler tonight due to his main event match, but he challenges him next week. Sadler agrees. That'll be a match for the ages. An impressive number of pointless segments in a row here. I'm struggling to choose a picture for the top of the post, so I've settled for a Tenay face which sums up my reaction to this part of the show.
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Sep 17, 2014 23:48
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TNA #3: Senior Year PART 3 We're only about halfway through the show but apparently the big title match is next! 6. NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ken Shamrock (c) vs Malice Shamrock is out injured due to the assault from Malice earlier tonight. He challenger stomps him down as he enters the ring and focuses entirely on the neck. After a few minutes of squashiness Shamrock almost ensnares Malice in an armbar, but the challenger pulls his hand free. They head outside the ring and the champ gets his head bashed into the announce table. Back inside he slaps on a surprise leglock, but Mitchell makes the ropes as Mitchell screams at him from the outside. Malice sets up for a vertical suplex, but Shamrock reverses into a fantastic snap suplex of his own. They return to their feet and Shamrock hits his belly-to-belly. Malice almost kicks out in time, but the referee just about manages to count three. Winner and STILL NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Ken Shamrock 1/5 - THAT was the title match!? Shamrock bails to the outside as Malice springs angrily to his feet. He grabs his title, sells the neck heavily, and walks triumphantly to the back. Next up we have the X Division title match. AJ will be defending against...David Young!? How the gently caress did he bag a title shot? All he did was lose to Apollo last week - I can instantly think of about five more deserving challengers on the roster. Nevertheless, he's out with his attention-stealing manager Bobcat. 7. TNA X-Division Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs David Young Styles starts by doing normal moves better than they usually are. A dropkick turns into a backflip. An armdrag has a little more pizazz put on it. Bobcat is on her phone - this gimmick of her being an awful manager is really weak. Styles prepares for a springboard move from the apron, but Young pushes him as he jumps and his neck hits the top rope! Now Young gets on the apron and hits a springboard moonsault to the outside! I didn't know he was capable of that. The challenger lets everybody know he's going for a spinebuster by yelling "spinebuster!", which AJ easily avoids. He flips out of a German suplex and lands on his feet, but Young hits a belly-to-belly into the turnbuckles! Ouch. Young hits some nice moves now - I didn't realise he was a good wrestler last time! A brainbuster follows a great enziguri, but neither can pick up the three count. The pair slightly botch AJ's springboard into the inverted DDT, but they hit it anyway and it's not so bad. AJ busts out some martial arts kicks but Young ducks the final one to the head...only for Styles to knock him down with a vicious knife-edged chop! It must suck wrestling AJ by the way. His transitional striker of choice is a chop. He leaps towards Young looking for a DDT or something, but the challenger stops his momentum and DRILLS him with a spinebuster! It's much better than last week's effort and I now feel bad. Sorry David. Styles kicks out and Young is pissed off. He puts AJ on the top rope and goes for a headscissors...but AJ holds him in place as he vaults backwards! Styles Clash from the top rope! 1...2...3! Winner and STILL TNA X-Division Champion: AJ Styles 3/5 - Some awkward little moments of miscommunication but a good match overall. The finish was very impressive. Good work Young, you've redeemed yourself. Bobcat gets in the ring and dances around, stealing all the attention. AJ pushes her over and poses with the belt to a small pop before leaving. She's really proved a needless distraction to a good match. Goldilocks is backstage with the Rainbow Express and Joel Gertner. Joel hits on her in his creepy way and explains that, since there are no more teams left for his boys to face (after Harris and Storm's beatdown backstage) his tag team are automatically about to be crowned NWA tag champs. They head to the ring for their coronation, but not before Gertner forces a kiss on Goldilocks. Uncomfortable viewing. The Express head out to be awarded the championship but Borash has other ideas. He announces that the following team will face them for the titles. It's AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn! 8. NWA World Tag Team Championship: The Rainbow Express vs Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles AJ sells the effects of the match he's just been through, the poor lamb. He gets beaten down upon entering the ring but Lynn takes control, backdropping one Dupp onto the other outside and springboarding onto both of them. Styles joins in with a twisting springboard which doesn't connect properly, but we'll let him off because he's usually awesome. Lynn grabs a waistlock on Lenny in the ring, but the dastardly homosexual swivels his hips and enjoys it. Jerry instead hits a brilliant headscissors and a drop toehold into the middle turnbuckle. He charges at Lenny in the corner...and stops!? Slight miscommunication there, and he instead stomps a mudhole. Bruce comes in to make the save but predictably takes a drop toehold into his partner's crotch. Jerry slams his head down a few more times for good measure, and Don West muses that they're probably enjoying it. Lazy humour. Lynn goes to the apron and kicks off the grabby hands of Joel Gertner. Bruce tries to headbutt him through the middle rope but Lynn jumps up and hits the axe kick! Holy poo poo, that's a regular spot of his!? AJ tags in briefly to hit a spinning heel kick but doesn't last long before he gets tired. Jerry comes back with a bulldog from the top rope, but Lenny breaks up the pinfall. He tags in and locks Lynn in the...ahem...Tigertamer. AJ runs in to break it up with a running clothesline. Lenny hits Lynn with a very VERY delayed vertical suplex and goes for a sexy pin, but the babyface kicks out in time. Bruce tags in and he has quite a boring exchange with Lynn featuring a lot of messy brawling and restholds. I'm really not a fan of Bruce. Lenny is clearly the better of the two. Lynn reverses a powerbomb attempt into a cradle piledriver attempt, but Bruce rolls him up for two instead. AJ finally gets the hot tag and comes in like a house on fire to face Lenny, rocking him with a hurricanrana, a superkick, and a discus clothesline all in ridiculously quick succession. He gets caught with what looks like a version of Jarrett's stroke, only with a full nelson applied, but Lynn narrowly breaks up the pin. He hits the cradle piledriver on Lenny and takes Bruce out of the ring, leaving AJ to hit the Spiral Tap for three! Winners and NEW NWA World Heavyweight Tag Team Champions: Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles 2.5/5 - A hard match to judge. Lenny and Bruce acted as punching bags for the most part, but the match grew and became more even as it went on. The faces were predictably impressive, while Lenny put in some good work too. Bruce is a very inconsistent performer unfortunately, and the match dragged during sections in which he featured prominently. AJ's a double champion! He and Lynn hug it out in the ring with their new titles as sparks shoot from the turnbuckles. We get an ACTION SHOT backstage of a security team running through the building, the camera in hot pursuit. They find NWA President Jim Miller tied up and gagged, "FU" written across his big belly in red letters. COULD THIS BE THE WORK OF MEGA-HEEL JEFF JARRETT!? We'll find out soon enough, because he's in the main event up next. Oh, also, Goldilocks was there for no reason. She told us she had no idea what was going on. As per loving usual.
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Sep 20, 2014 00:25
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TNA #3: Senior Year PART 4 9. Jeff Jarrett and K-Krush vs Scott Hall and Brian Christopher K-Krush and Christopher both dance down to the ring. I hope they have a CHIKARA-style dance off during the match. The faces charge the ring and hurl the heels to the outside. For the past two shows I've been trying to work out what's on the back of Hall's trunks - now I see it. "KLIQ". They brawl into two different sections of the crowd, which is twice as annoying as usual. Hall bashes Jarrett into one of the dancer's cages, a unique spot in fairness. They battle into the cage (the girl runs away) and Hall continues the beatdown. They finally get back to the ring where Christopher and Krush start things off properly. Meanwhile, Jarrett gets thrown into the announce area. Ferrara reassures him that all three commentators are rooting for him. Christopher goes for his guillotine legdrop but K-Krush rolls out of the way. Hall enters and tries a hiptoss, but Krush flips out of it. Scott nicely modifies it into a chokeslam and Jarrett's back in the ring now. He gets beaten down by Christopher in the corner but evades a bronco buster-type move, leaving Lawler Jr to crash crotch-first into the ringpost. Jarrett causes a miscommunication between the two faces (rare!) and eats a flailing elbow from Hall. Krush wants the tag. Krush gets! He flies with a (poo poo) missile dropkick. West goes off on the heels, saying "they've taken on the NASCAR fans, they've taken on the country and western fans. Who is there left!?". Quite a sizeable demographic I think. Jarrett hits a crossbody on Hall, who rolls through into a pinfall attempt. The pair exchange sleeper holds - the exact same spot they did last week - before Jeff counters with a stunner. Krush comes in and applies a chinlock to the veteran. He yells "SHUT UP LADY" to somebody in the crowd. Fantastic. Heels should do that more often. Hall stands up and hits an electric chair drop. He crawls to make the tag to Christopher...and tries to hit him? Christopher ducks out of the way and yells back as if to say "what the gently caress!?". I thought that was a swerve, but Hall continues to beat down the heels. He turns and knocks his own partner off the apron too. What is going on? Is this some kind of tweener-turn? Hall drags Christopher into the ring and slams him down. He hits the Razor's Edge on Krush but there's no ref - he took a bump somewhere in the mayhem. Jarrett blindsides Hall and hits the Stroke. Christopher's up top and hits the guillotine legdrop!? Oh it IS a swerve. Just a really poorly executed one. What the gently caress? Anyway, the ref recovers. That's three. Winners: Jeff Jarrett and K-Krush 1/5 - A decent match, but points deducted for that awful, awful finish. I'll list my issues with it below. 1. How did Hall know Christopher was going to turn on him? From what I can tell, Brian didn't refuse to let him tag out. They just held their hands in the air for a while before Hall swung at him. Scott definitely attacked first. I thought he was turning heel until he continued to beat up Jarrett and K-Krush. 2. Why did Christopher turn? He and K-Krush hated each other a week ago and now they're hugging it out. It makes little sense. What's even more confusing is that Christopher started the feud by coming out to defend the NASCAR guys. So he started a feud with Krush entirely of his own volition and then immediately agreed to ally with him two weeks later? What!? 3. What on earth is the purpose of this swerve? What does Jarrett gain by screwing over Hall? Scott doesn't hold a title or much (kayfabe) power in the company. This achieves absolutely nothing for Jeff and K-Krush. I'm not even sure what it does for Christopher. Maybe we'll find out some answers. Jarrett has a mic... He says he's proved his point tonight and that Hall ain't worth a poo poo. He beat his rear end in '95, '97, ran it out of WCW, and he's going to run him out of the NWA. Jarrett compares Hall to all the other legends in the NWA - not worth anything. He runs down Jim Miller, Harley Race, Dory Funk, etc etc. He takes the trophy presented to TNA right at the start of the show and smashes it over Hall's head. It's sold terribly. I think Christopher and K-Krush went backstage a while ago. EMTs bring a stretcher down to tend to Hall. Jarrett repeats his threat to run him out of the NWA (he accidentally calls it the nWo) if it's the last thing he does. He hits an elbow drop from the apron onto Hall's stretcher before continuing. He says that on the first night he was screwed out of the NWA title in the Gauntlet for the Gold match. He tips Hall's stretcher over as it's being wheeled up the ramp and storms off. What the gently caress? Without spoilers, can somebody explain to me what just happened? I feel overly-optimistic asking for no spoilers, because that implies that there'll be some sort of closure in future episodes. I wouldn't actually be surprised if TNA expected us to accept this as valid reasoning. I get that Jarrett has an issue with the NWA and its legends - that part makes sense. But what on earth does Scott Hall have to do with them? He's not particularly affiliated with them; he's the same as any other member of the roster. Jarrett might as well have beaten the poo poo out of Psicosis - it would be just as relevant. Also (this is my last point, I swear) we can't assume that Jarrett orchestrated the whole K-Krush/Christopher feud, because their rivalry began before he was eliminated from the Gauntlet by Hall. This means that Jarrett instead contacted Christopher after the feud had started and convinced him to turn heel, entirely letting go of his hatred of K-Krush. And Chistopher agreed, becoming Jarrett's henchman for no discernible reason. And WHO THE gently caress BEAT UP HARRIS AND STORM BACKSTAGE!? (I think we're supposed to assume it was the Rainbow Express). JGKing fucked around with this message at 01:46 on Sep 20, 2014 |
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Sep 20, 2014 01:42
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TNA #3: SENIOR YEAR SUMMARY Match Of The Night AJ Styles vs David Young - AJ clearly led the way in this match, but Young surprised me by keeping up with him and making it a good contest. Wrestler Of The Night 1. AJ Styles - The best wrestler on the card for the second show in a row. Yet to place outside of the top five. 2. David Young - Proved that he's a good worker with some surprising offence befitting the X-Divison style. Needs a better manager. 3. Jerry Lynn - Continued to impress, this time in tag team action alongside AJ. 4. Lenny - The better half of the Rainbow Express. Consistently solid throughout both his matches. 5. Apollo - A comparatively brief role tonight, but stood out the most in his match alongside Buff and the Rainbow boys. Great superkick. James Storm did well in his tag match too, but just misses out here. Jarrett was building up some steam in the main event, and could well have bagged some points were it not cut short by that STUPID finish. Wrestler Of The "1st Tenth" Standings 1. AJ Styles - 12 2. Jerry Lynn - 10 3. Low Ki - 7 4. Jimmy Yang - 5 5. David Young - 4 6. Psicosis - 2 Lenny - 2 7. Sonny Siaki - 1 Brian Christopher - 1 Apollo - 1 TNA #3: Senior Year - 3/10 This should really have been TNA's first show to break the 3/10 ceiling. It probably had the best in-ring action of the three episodes overall (just), but the booking prevents it from scoring a 4. It was that detrimental to the overall quality. Firstly, this show was a slog to watch. Everything was broken up by seemingly pointless backstage segments, only a handful of which were actually resolved. The amount of times we ended a segment with Goldilocks saying "I have no idea what's going on here" was ridiculous. The tag team tournament provided better action than I first feared, and the X-Division title match was great fun, but the supposedly "big" NWA title bout was horrendously short. I'm not sure why it appeared so low on the card either - it was almost an afterthought of the show. I've already ranted about the main event enough, but I'd like to point out that I don't have an irrational hatred of swerves. A good swerve can be fantastic and thrilling. I hate swerves for the sake of swerves, and I hate illogical storylines even more. This show combined the two. Guitars Smashed: 0 Swerves: ONE! We had our first swerve. And it was really stupid. JGKing fucked around with this message at 03:19 on Sep 20, 2014 |
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Sep 20, 2014 02:58
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TNA #4: High Noon at Mega Mountain - July 10th 2002 - Nashville, Tennessee PART 1 No messing around this week. We kick things off straight away with an NWA World Tag Team Championship match featuring James Mitchell's new recruit, TEMPEST! (Don't worry, it's just Crowbar under a different name.) His partner isn't Malice, no, he's the top man of the stable. It's the other one, the ridiculously named Slash. 1. NWA World Tag Team Championship: Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles (c) vs The Disciples of the New Church Jerry Lynn and Slash face off. The old timer takes control with Spike Dudley's finisher while Ferrara and Tenay talk up the change that has come over Devon Storm. He's now wide-eyed and vacant, almost a different person. Of course his name has changed too - now he's AJ drop toeholds Tempest under the bottom rope to the floor in a nice spot, before faking a dive to the outside. What a cocktease. Back in the ring they have a chop battle, which Tempest wins to gain control of the match. AJ goes for the Styles Clash but gets backdropped onto the apron, before springboarding back in with a nice dropkick. I imagine it's a pain in the arse being told you're wrestling AJ that night - he must work his opponents so hard to keep up with him. It all breaks down and all four men end up in the ring, where the faces whip the heels into one another. This is like a reverse squash match almost. The Disciples have had almost of offence. The heels get thrown to the outside and AJ flies with a crossbody, but they catch him! Here comes Lynn with a senton to knock all of them down. Jerry gets back in the ring and Tempest tries to follow him, but he busts out his fantastic axe-kick spot through the ropes. He rotates the suspended heel into an inverted rope-assisted DDT position, allowing Styles to come off the top with a lionsault. A convoluted spot to describe - sorry about that. Tempest decides to show that he's a good wrestler too, hitting a brilliant death valley driver and following it up with a spinning elbow. Slash gets the tag and the heels hit a double chokeslam for two. Styles hits a discus clothesline and tags in Lynn who clears house. He sets up Tempest for the cradle piledriver but Slash boots him in the face. He collapses against the ropes and AJ blind-tags himself in. Spiral tap on Tempest - not the cleanest contact, I think the heel might have actually tried to get out of the way. Coward. It's still good enough for the three. Winners and STILL NWA World Tag Team Champions: Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles 2/5 - A decent opener marred by the occasional sloppy spot. The Disciples aren't the most compelling pair of wrestlers but they did okay. AJ and Lynn are still great. Lynn looks a little pissed off. He didn't appreciate AJ's blind tag, which makes sense as Styles was the legal man for the vast majority of the match anyway. AJ celebrates with both title belts in the ring until Lynn comes in and joins him. He receives his belt from Styles but doesn't join him in posing on the turnbuckles, instead walking to the back alone. AJ looks worried. Tenay recaps the awful swerve from last week. Read my review of that show for a breakdown of exactly why I hated it (there were a lot of reasons). He interviews Scott Hall on an awful phone line. He says something along the lines of not being down for long - he's going to get his revenge. He's coming after Brian Christopher first, then K-Krush, and he's saving Jarrett for last. He hangs up. That was blatantly a pre-recorded promo as Tenay didn't say a word. Ferrara explains that Hall is an idiot for picking Christopher as his partner last week - he and Jarrett grew up together. Their fathers were great friends and business partners in the wrestling industry. Tenay says that, now he's had a week to think about it, the betrayal makes total sense. That's NOT how you do a swerve, TNA! You should try and get it right WHEN IT HAPPENS. Don't rely on your commentators to fill in the details a week later. That's probably a sign that it didn't come across very clearly. Here comes Christopher down to the ring with a mic. He says that there comes a time in life when you transition from a child to a man. He claims he's been labelled a child all his life, specifically Jerry Lawler's son. He says he's lived his entire life in Jerry Lawler's shadow, and explains that people think he only got into the business because "The King" got him in. After 14 years in the industry he can finally say screw Jerry Lawler. The crowd are booing and he tells them to shut up; none of them were in his shoes. All he wanted was a father to look up to, but every time he looked up...Lawler was never there. GREAT line! This is a good heel promo. He runs down his dad for giving Vince McMahon all the attention he should have been giving his son. He says that it's time for a change, something Scott Hall learned last week. It's going to be all about him from now on; he's going to make himself famous. He's not Jerry's kid anymore. It's now all about Brian Lawler. 2. Brian Lawler vs Norman Smiley That name change makes no sense by the way. Surely if he's stepping out from his father's shadow, it would have made more sense to go from Brian Lawler to Brian Christopher. Not the other way around. ANYWAY I digress. Lawler jumps Smiley at the bell and stomps a mudhole before mocking his own dancing. Norman gains control with a big swinging powerslam before dancing his own dance. This infuriates Lawler, but he misses with a big right and takes an atomic drop which sends him into the 619 position across the middle rope. Norman approaches him from behind and...pretends to gently caress him up the arse!? Okay... Lawler ain't happy. He folds up Smiley with a hard DDT and is getting some big heat here, chants of "Jerry's kid, Jerry's kid". He takes off his bandana and uses it to choke out Norman until the ref snatches it away. Smiley hits a ridiculous comedy headbutt and a stiff elbow, before going up for ten punches. Low blow by Lawler out of sight of the ref! Smiley collapses to the canvas and Lawler heads up for the hip hop drop...but he throws the goggles away before dropping the leg. That's enough for three. Winner: Brian Lawler 2/5 - A pretty short, simple match, but Lawler did a great job of heeling it up here. He got some really good heat from the crowd. Smiley looked good as well. He knew his role (and shut his mouth). Lawler has a mic and calls out Scott Hall for next week.
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Sep 26, 2014 03:09
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TNA #4: High Noon at Mega Mountain PART 2 We cut to the back where Jarrett is arguing with a backstage official. He seems to think he should have a title shot tonight against Shamrock, but the suit suspends him for what he did to President Jim Miller last week. Jarrett storms off and passes a half-open door, inside which we can hear Father James Mitchell berating his team for losing their earlier match. Goldilocks stood around with a microphone and looked useless for this whole segment. It's now time for the big match between K-Krush and that racist NASCAR guy. We haven't seen the other racist NASCAR guy for a week or so. I think he was the bigger star of the two, but perhaps the less enthusiastic about wrestling. Krush comes out to the ring and cuts an old-school heel promo on the crowd, calling particularly angry fans into the ring with him to fight. Luckily we're prevented a race riot by the arrival of Hermie Sadler and his pit crew, who are carrying assorted racing-themed weapons (stop signs, chequered flags, etc). 3. K-Krush vs Hermie Sadler The pair have a stare down and exchange shoves and slaps. Krush begins to smack Sadler around and whips him into the ropes. He hooks his arms and ducks a spinning heel kick, allowing Krush to crotch himself on the top rope. This looks like it's going to be a highly choreographed match, but when you have non-wrestlers involved that's probably for the best. Sadler shoves Krush to the outside and jumps off the apron with a right hand. Krush regains control easily and chokes him against the ringpost, but Sadler ducks the incoming right hand and the stupid heel accidentally punches the steel instead. Comedy! They head back inside and Sadler hits ten punches in the corner, followed by a near fall!? Thankfully Krush kicks out at 2, before planting Hermie into the mat with an axe kick. He covers Sadler with one finger for a two count, hahaha. Hermie kicks out of both a vertical suplex and a powerslam, so Krush resorts to the signature move of Jeff Jarrett's Justice Leage (JJJL), a figure four leglock. Sadler, a NASCAR driver, reverses the hold and forces Krush to grab the ropes. He's getting way too much offence here. Krush goes for a hurricanrana...reversed into a huge powerbomb! What the gently caress is going on!? 1...2...and again he kicks out just in time. Hermie tries to press the advantage, but Krush trips him into a pinning predicament and puts his feet on the ropes for leverage. That's the finish. Winner: K-Krush 1/5 - Hermie Sadler is easily one of the best non-wrestling workers I've seen, but the booking here was all wrong. He got way too much offence and K-Krush now looks incredibly weak, especially as he had to resort to cheating. Sadler's pit crew jump up on the apron to protest the cheap finish. Krush has his hand raised and sticks a few extra cheap shots on Hermie in celebration. WAIT A SECOND, WHAT!? The referee consults with the pit crew outside the ring and reverses the decision!? Sadler wins!? Winner: Hermie Sadler 0.5/5 - Extra half mark deducted for an even stupider finish than I first thought. Now Krush is buried even further. wWo motherfucker. We cut to the back where we have our first glimpse of Takao Omori, the challenger to Ken Shamrock's NWA title. He's doing some intense squats until he's interrupted by Alicia (Ryan Shamrock), who again seems to be demanding money. He pays her without much fuss while Don West again pressures Ferrara to tell us what's going on. Ferrara plays dumb. When is this angle going to end? We cut back to the ring and there's already a team in there. Borash announces "and their opponents..." without us having a clue who the first team are. Great formatting TNA. 4. The Briscoes vs The Hotshots Holy poo poo! It's a very very young Mark and Jay Briscoe. They're both in red singlets. The Hotshots consist of Chase Stevens and Cassidy O'Riley, a pair of bleach-blonde pretty boys. Tenay reveals that the Briscoes are 18 years old! Jesus Christ. Chase takes Jay down with a big spinebuster but Mark saves his bro with a sloppy missile dropkick from the top. Jay gets hurled onto Mark on the outside and the Hotshots hit a sick couple of planchas over the top rope onto their opponents. All four men return to the ring and start chopping each other, but here comes Malice from the back. He hits an ugly slam on Chase Stevens and the ref calls for the bell. Winner: No Contest NA/5 The Briscoes whip O'Riley into Malice, who almost boots his bleached head off his shoulders. He takes down the future ROH legends with a double clothesline and stands dominant in the ring. Malice starts dishing out huge clotheslines as James Mitchell, Slash and Tempest look on from ringside with evil grins. Malice clears the ring and the rest of the stable step inside. Mitchell claims that they're not leaving until the blood of Ken Shamrock is on Malice's hands. He says Shamrock has two options - come and face annihilation like a man, or stay in the back like a coward. If he chooses the latter, Mitchell promises that Malice will pulverise every single person in this arena until he answers the challenge. I'd back the thousands in attendance over Malice in all honesty, even if he is well over 6'5". Mitchell says Shamrock has ten seconds, but immediately declares that time's up. What's the point of that? He wonders who the first victim will be, before pointing at the timekeeper. He gets dragged into the ring and set up for a powerbomb by Malice, but they're interrupted by Shamrock's entrance music. That was a relief. The timekeeper was a big fat guy - I'm not even sure Malice could have lifted him properly. Shamrock runs down to the ring and is immediately overran by Slash, Tempest and Malice. He's set up for a chokeslam and Malice waits...and waits...and waits...and FINALLY Omori runs down to the ring to make the save. Well, runs is an overstatement. He jogs lethargically down. At least pretend to care dude! The NWA Champion and number one contender clear the ring of heels before staring one another down warily. We head backstage for an interview with The Dupps. Goldi is so disgusted by them she can barely get her questions out. They cut a very generic hillbilly promo, saying they're going to make their opponents squeal like pigs and so on. They're scheduled to face The Flying Elvises next. Borash is in the ring to introduce the next match, but the Dupps' theme music is interrupted several times by a sexy saxophone track. Here comes Jasmine St Claire from the back, whom Tenay describes as renowned for her ECW appearances and "so much more". Oh she's a porn star. Okay. West and Ferrara finally agree on something, both lusting after her in a way that would make Jerry Lawler turn away in disgust. Ferrara says that she's his favourite actress. West replies "I know, I borrowed that tape from your house". To masturbate over, you guys. Jasmine says that she's been at home for the last three weeks watching this show, but she's also been patiently waiting to see some real TNA. She asks if there's any guy in the building that wants to see that. An arena of disgusting wrestling nerds whoops and cheers. She asks for a chair and a ref hurriedly throws it into the ring. She drags Borash into the chair and gives him a lapdance, taking off her thong and putting it around his neck. Don't worry, she's wearing a long dress - we can't see anything. You wouldn't know that from the commentators' overreactions though. Jasmine is interrupted by that suit who keeps hanging around backstage. He's the NWA Vice President - I should really learn his name. I think it's Bill something. He slides in the ring to stop the lapdance...but Ferrara charges in and spears him! The VP is furious and shoves Ed away, before wrapping a coat around Jasmine to protect her modesty (she's still fully covered anyway, so I'm not sure why he did that) and leading her out of the ring. A furious Ferrara is held back by a bewildered Borash. Professional wrestling.
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Sep 30, 2014 15:25
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TNA #4: High Noon at Mega Mountain PART 3 5. The Dupps vs The Flying Elvises The Flying Elvises are tonight represented by only Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki, as Jimmy Yang is touring in Japan. It's a shame we haven't seen these guys since the first show - they were very entertaining. The same can't be said of the Dupps, as Stan immediately botches a spinebuster on Siaki. Mortimer Plumtree strides down to the ring (he's the guy who was managing The Johnsons), cricket bat in hand. Estrada and Bo square off in the ring, the latter vaulting outrageously into a backflip from the top and following it up with a superkick. He got serious elevation there. Stan tags in and gets a two count as Plumtree insists that he and his tag team are fine despite their argument last week. Estrada escapes a pinfall following a vicious Alabama slam by sneaking a foot onto the ropes. Siaki gets the tag and hits a sprinboard moonsault on Bo for two, but Stan does a surprisingly good job of clearing house after becoming the legal man. He plants Siaki with a massive full nelson slam for two while Estrada springboards onto Bo outside the ring. Siaki hits a nice suplex on Stan and Estrada dashes back in to hit an OURTRAGEOUS SPRINGBOARD SENTON! Christ, he almost landed on his head. That was so nearly botched, but it turned out awesome. I'm not sure whether to praise or criticise him for that. It gets the three anyway. Winners: The Flying Elvises 1.5/5 - Too short to be considered better than the opening tag match of the night, but contained some impressive performances from Siaki and Estrada. The Dupps aren't very good are they? We cut to the back where Jerry Lynn is attacking his tag partner AJ Styles in the catering area. TNA don't do slow-burns apparently. AJ fights back and whips Lynn over a table. He dives across with a crossbody (nice) and they continue brawling. Lynn regains the upper hand with the time-honoured tactic of smashing his opponent's head into various hard surfaces, before dragging Styles onto a metal box and hitting the cradle piledriver right on the top of it! He calls AJ a "glory hound", throws one of the tag belts at him and leaves. Harley Race is out to watch the big title match. It's next. 6. NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ken Shamrock (c) vs Takao Omori Omori hasn't been built up at all. We know nothing about him other than what we saw from his brief run-in earlier. Shamrock dominates from the start with some nice strikes and a great DDT. Resthold time immediately!? A headscissors is broken as Omori rolls into the ropes. He picks himself up and hits a spinning heelkick and a nice dropkick. The dude's big but he can move. The brawl slowly for a while until Omori hits a running neckbreaker, which Shamrock turns the wrong way to sell. Aghhh it looked so sloppy. Omori heads up top and misses a double knee drop as the champ rolls out of the way. Shamrock charges and is taken out with a MASSIVE lariat! Apparently that's Omori's signature "axe bomber" and it looks vicious. Ken just about kicks out at two and hits a dropkick. "That's the Ultimate Fighter we know of" quips West, because obviously you see dropkicks busted out in the UFC all the time. Omori hits a hard elbow and sets up for a cradle piledriver, but Shamrock low blows his way out. Um...ref!? The commentators pretend it didn't happen and Ken reverses a full nelson into Jericho's favourite submission, the ARMBAR~! He quickly releases it and transitions into the ankle lock, but...uh oh. Here comes The Chosen One down to the ring with chair in hand. Jeff Jarrett (for it is he) slides in and decimates both men with chairshots as the bell rings. Winner: No Contest 1.5/5 - Decent I suppose, but TNA need to stop treating the championship like a mere feature of their show rather than its centrepiece. Unfortunately they'd need to push it to the top of the card to do that, and I don't think Shamrock has the ability to compete at that level. Omori looked decent by the way. Harley Race gets in the ring to stop this madness but EATS A HUGE CHAIRSHOT TO THE HEAD! Jesus! Jarrett swings for the referee, who action rolls out of the way and heads to the back! Hahahaha that was an unintentionally awesome moment. It was like something from The Matrix - legitimately one of the best action rolls I've ever seen. A team of NWA security head for the ring but Jarrett takes all of them out with his chair. He's burying TNA! Somebody stop him! Call the White World Order! Shamrock staggers to his feet and Jeff smashes the chair into his skull. Goldi is in the back and approaches a fuming Jerry Lynn. I'll have to transcribe this promo because it's amazing. quote:Goldilocks: Moments ago we saw you violently attack your tag team partner. Can you give us some... I didn't realise TNA had Eugene O'Neill writing their scripts. That was literary brilliance. Goldi turns to leave but is interrupted by The Disciples of the New Church. Mitchell asks her to let Jeff Jarrett know he needs to speak to him. I've made that sound far more pleasant than it was - he was actually quite mean to her because he's a heel. Just when I think the segment is over, Goldi hears a muffled yelling. She rushes into a darkened room and finds Vice President Bill hog-tied and stripped to his underwear, FU painted in red on his stomach. The same thing happened to Jim Miller last week and Jeff Jarrett was blamed, but we just saw him in the ring. Maybe this wasn't his doing. Maybe we'll never find out and the angle will just fizzle out after a while (see you guys, I'm learning).
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Oct 2, 2014 03:28
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TNA #4: High Noon at Mega Mountain PART 4 The last match is going to determine the X-Division rankings, with the winner getting a title shot at AJ Styles. 7. Six Man Elimination Match: Low Ki vs Elix Skipper vs Kid Romeo vs Tony Mamaluke vs Chris Daniels vs Jerry Lynn We've already seen Low Ki and Jerry Lynn. Skipper and Romeo were the first ever WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team Champions, while Mamaluke was a member of ECW's Full Blooded Italians. Chris(topher) Daniels is awesome. There's still 25 minutes of the show left, so this one's gonna be loooooong. Daniels and Romeo start off with some moderately impressive lucha stuff and Don West loses his poo poo. He's really starting to annoy me. Elix Skipper blind tags in and backflips into a great spinning heel kick. I love dem heel kicks. Mamaluke comes in and has a sloppy battle with Skipper. It's Mamaluke's fault. Lynn comes in and Mamaluke miscommunicates some moves with him as well. Get him eliminated now. Lynn hits a couple of huge backbreakers and tags in Low Ki to hopefully finish Tony off. He hits a few of his stiff kicks to the chest but Mamaluke nails a double-arm DDT and transitions into a guillotine. The referee breaks it up!? Why? Mamaluke tags in Romeo by slapping him in the face, which would be an effective spot if Romeo actually remembered to come into the match. He doesn't though, and Mamaluke tags in Daniels instead. Daniels and Low Ki have a nice exchange before Romeo and Lynn take over. Romeo narrowly escapes a vertabreaker and kicks out of a nice tornado DDT from the top. Daniels gets the tag and he can FLY! He misses a long diving headbutt and Romeo tags Lynn in. The pair battle to the outside where Daniels hits an amazing split-legged moonsault off the apron! Now Romeo dives onto both from the top rope, followed by Mamaluke with a senton. Low Ki and Skipper decide not to join in. Just kidding, they do with stereo slingshots over the top rope. Back inside Lynn his Daniels with his rope-assisted axe kick (so awesome) before heading up top. Mamaluke pulls him out to the outside and attacks, before heading back inside. He brawls with Daniels...and the ref counts Lynn out!? Elimination #1: Jerry Lynn (by Tony Mamaluke) What a lovely piece of booking! Skipper jumps in and blasts Mamaluke with MVP's playmaker (which Tenay calls as "the play of the day") for another elimination. Elimination #2: Tony Mamaluke (by Elix Skipper) Low Ki jumps in and whips Skipper into the ropes...and he collapses through to the floor? Tenay explains that Skipper is so weary that he couldn't keep himself from falling. What!? First of all, that's not how kayfabe wrestling physics usually work. Secondly, he's barely featured in this match so far! Why are we supposed to believe he's exhausted? Low Ki brings him back into the ring and dodges a play of the day. He scoops Elix up onto his shoulders - kind of in a muscle buster position - and RUNS WITH HIM INTO THE OPPOSITE TURNBUCKLE! Holy poo poo! Low Ki springs off the ropes and Skipper low bridges under! Belly to belly! These two are stepping into a higher gear. Skipper hits a perfect missile dropkick, sending Low Ki into the corner where he inadvertently tags in Daniels. He anticipates a leapfrog from Skipper and catches him in a fireman's carry (nice!) before dropping him down and hitting a rolling inverted neckbreaker. That was a really sick move - Tenay calls it the last rites - and it gets Daniels the three count. Elimination #3: Elix Skipper (by Chris Daniels) Kid Romeo scores a couple of near falls on Daniels before dropkicking Low Ki off the apron and heading up top. Daniels crotches him and heads up to intercept, but Romeo hits a really sick death valley driver from the top! 1...2...Daniels gets a foot on the ropes, but Romeo thinks he's pinned him! Low Ki tags in and ambushes the celebrating Romeo with some kicks, the last after a cartwheel. It's the cartwheel kick apparently (go figure). He drops to the mat and applies a nasty looking reverse-headlock type thing called the dragon clutch, and Kid Romeo taps. Elimination #4: Kid Romeo (by Low Ki) We're down to the final two, which is quite fitting considering they've probably been the best two guys in the match. They have a vicious chop battle in the corner before Daniels pounces with a lightning fast head-smash into the mat (what is that move actually called, where you grab your opponent around the neck and fall backwards to drive their face into the mat? Anyone?). He heads up top, potentially looking for a moonsault, but Low Ki crotches him and tries to apply a top rope dragon clutch. Daniels shoves him off and hits an outrageous springboard moonsault! If you've seen him do that move you'll know the one I mean - it's not easily forgotten. He's too slow to make a cover however, allowing Ki to barely kick out on the stroke of three. Daniels goes for the angel wings (I think) but Low Ki pops out and applies the dragon clutch. Daniels fights him off and sets him on the top rope...BIG uppercut! Bam. He grabs Ki's arms and lofts him into the middle of the ring, apparently a move called the fall from grace. Again it's only good enough for two. Daniels sets up for the last rites again, but Ki rolls with it and scoops him up for a Ki crusher! That's what Tenay called it anyway, and it's good for the win! Elimination #5: Chris Daniels (by Low Ki) Winner: Low Ki 3.5/5 - Great performances here from Ki, Daniels, Skipper and Romeo. Lynn didn't have much to do and his elimination was pretty stupid booking, but the rest of the match delivered. With the exception of Marmaluke. He was completely out of his depth. A good display by the young talent of the company to close the show as fireworks shoot from the turnbuckles. I'm just waiting for Jarrett to come out and ruin it. Oh, here come the Flying Elvises. Well that's not what I expected. Estrada stomps a mudhole in Daniels while Siaki destroys Low Ki with a huge gorilla press. He heads to the outside and grabs a mic, complaining to the announce table that the Flying Elvises weren't part of the X Division match. Ferrara is great here, immediately agreeing with Siaki and playing the cowardly heel to perfection. Skipper runs out to even the odds but Siaki dashes back into the ring and helps Estrada beat him down. Romeo and Mamaluke come out too and finally the numbers are too much. The Elvises bail but the damage has been done. The announcers hype next week's card as the show gets set to end. AJ Styles vs Low Ki for the X Division title, Scott Hall vs Brian Lawler, and...ahem...Puppet The Psycho Dwarf vs Meatball (the largest midget in the world). Oh here's Jarrett. He storms down to the announce table, chair in hand, and demands a title shot for next week. He then starts mouthing off at random - "screw you Tenay, screw the Church, screw the Titans". I didn't know he had beef with any of those people. The Disciples of the New Church were asking after him earlier in the show, but I presumed it was to form a heel mega-stable. Tenay's annoying I guess, so I understand that one. Some of the Tennessee Titans are at ringside but I didn't mention it because I didn't think they'd actually be a part of the show. Jarrett runs down the Titans for blowing their shot at the Super Bowl until they jump over the barrier and attack him. The New Church run down to join in the beatdown, and suddenly it's everbody vs Jarrett. Jeff grabs a chair and just starts dropping fools, Titans and Disciples. Eventually Malice gets involved and the pair of them brawl into the crowd. "WE'LL SEE YA NEXT WEEK! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" What kind of ridiculous ending was that?
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Oct 3, 2014 15:09
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TNA #4: HIGH NOON AT MEGA MOUNTAIN SUMMARY Match Of The Night 6 Man Elimination Match - Of course. Daniels and Low Ki were great, Lynn, Skipper and Romeo were good, and Mamaluke was awful. Wrestler Of The Night 1. Chris Daniels - A wonderful début, probably the best talent we've seen on show so far alongside AJ Styles. 2. Low Ki - Just a shade below Daniels here, but still impressive with his hard-hitting style and unique moveset. 3. Elix Skipper - Had a limited role in the match but executed everything he did to perfection. Really promising. 4. AJ Styles - Was the primary reason for dragging the Discliples to a halfway decent tag match. 5. Brian Lawler - Heeled it up very well in his match with Norman Smiley and looked capable enough wrestling-wise. Kid Romeo perhaps deserves a spot on here as he looked pretty good in the main event, but he didn't factor into the match too much (and stood out the least in terms of character). Lynn pulled double duty but had a pretty small role in both matches. Wrestler Of The "1st Tenth" Standings 1. AJ Styles - 14 2. Low Ki - 11 3. Jerry Lynn - 10 4. Jimmy Yang - 5 Chris Daniels - 5 5. David Young - 4 6. Elix Skipper - 3 7. Psicosis - 2 Lenny - 2 Brian Lawler - 2 8. Sonny Siaki - 1 Apollo - 1 TNA #4: High Noon at Mega Mountain - 4/10 Hooray! For the first time in TNA a main event delivers, finally pushing the show into 4/10 territory. Unfortunately the rest of the card was pretty terrible. The NWA title was again treated as a sideshow, while every other match beyond the opening tag and Lawler vs Smiley fell very flat. Hermie Sadler actually proved to be a decent worker (as far as an untrained NASCAR driver can be considered a worker), but the decision to have him actually beat K-Krush was utterly ridiculous. The Dusty finish didn't protect Krush, as he'd already resorted to a roll-up and feet on the ropes to beat such an inferior opponent. Lots of stupid segments of course, and Jarrett once again ended the show by decimating people with a chair. They seem to be setting up Malice vs Jarrett, which I'm not excited for. At all. Guitars Smashed: 0 JGKing fucked around with this message at 00:56 on Nov 1, 2014 |
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Oct 3, 2014 16:24
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C. Everett Koop posted:Daniels move you're thinking of is called the Complete Shot. Why I don't know. Thanks. That makes no sense.
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Oct 4, 2014 01:30
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TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA - July 17th 2002 - Nashville, Tennessee PART 1 We open with a hype package detailing Jarrett's reign of terror over the past few weeks. It consists of him coming out at the end of every show and beating up everybody. He's so cool. Tenay welcomes us to the show and hypes a ladder match (Jarrett vs Malice) for the number one contendership to Shamrock's title and WAIT A MINUTE! THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON IN THE BACK, CAN WE GET A CAMERA OUT THERE!? Scott Hall and Jeff Jarrett are brawling very messily. Security mercifully arrive to break it up and the Vice President of the NWA is involved too. He says that Jarrett has forfeited his match. Just for that!? He was only having a backstage brawl - wrestlers do that all the time. I'm starting to understand why Jarrett is feeling so aggrieved with the NWA's authority. They really have it in for him. The Disciple of the New Church head out to the ring. James Mitchell announces (with deep regret) that Jarrett will not be able to bleed here tonight. However Malice is still very much in the mood to "wash his hands in the crimson life essence of another victim". Mitchell therefore issues an open challenge for anybody to face Malice. Rusev did this last Monday on Raw and The Rock came out. Maybe we'll see the Brahma Bull here tonight! Suddenly the lights go out. Maybe it's the Undertaker! NO, IT'S SABU! He's in the ring! The bell sounds and we've got a match. 1. Ladder Match: Malice vs Sabu I think this could well be TNA's first shocking début. The ECW legend hits a tornado DDT to kick things off, but Malice regains control with his considerable size and strength advantage. Tempest throws him a chair from the outside, but Sabu steals it from him and hurls it into the big man's face. He opens the chair out and uses it as a platform to leap into a crossbody, but Malice catches him and slams him down. Tempest wedges the chair in between two turnbuckles, allowing Malice to drive Sabu's head right into it. He's such a good henchman. Malice botches...something, jumping at Sabu and tumbling comically to the outside. He gets a few "you hosed up" chants in response. Sabu does his signature springboard from the chair to the top rope, followed by a dive onto Malice. Tempest very audibly tells Sabu to reverse an Irish whip into the crowd barrier, which he does, before springing off the ring steps and crushing Malice with a heel kick. James Mitchell is livid and screams at his disciple to get up. The heels balance a ladder between the ring apron and the guardrail, which Malice drops Sabu onto a couple of times. West commends Sabu for being the only person brave enough to accept Malice's open challenge. Why is it always just one wrestler who accepts an open challenge? Do they race from the locker room to Gorilla position? Sabu is busted open hardway from his loving FACE. They get back in the ring and Malice lifts both Sabu and the ladder at once, slamming the ECW alumnus down back-first onto the ladder. Not seen that spot before, good work. Sabu regains control by being Sabu. He uses weapons and jumps off things for a while until Malice is down in the corner. He climbs and tries to reach the number one contender contract, but Malice recovers and powerbombs him back down to the floor. drat! Malice leans the ladder against a turnbuckle and drives Sabu onto it with an overhead suplex. I was terrified for a second, but they actually pulled it off! Malice climbs the ladder while Sabu is down and out, but the debutant magically recovers and scampers up to the top rope. A missile dropkick to the ladder knocks Malice to the mat. Sabu throws a few more chairshots and hits a poetry in motion, sending Malice back-first into the ladder. Tenay exclaims that we haven't seen Malice dominated like this in the short history of TNA. What about when he lost clean to a weakened Ken Shamrock in week three? Tempest attempts to jab pathetically at Sabu with a chair through the ropes, which Sabu conveniently snatches away from him to hit the Arabian facebuster on Malice. Sabu hits some weak-rear end chairshots (now I see why he usually throws them) and charges, but Malice reverses into a spinebuster and points up at the contract. He places the ladder suspiciously close to the ring ropes and begins to climb. What could he possibly be up to? Sabu rises and pushes the ladder over, sending Malice crashing through a table at ringside! That looked nasty. He almost took it feet-first for some reason. Sabu climbs and wins. Winner: Sabu 2/5 - A sloppy, uncoordinated mess saved by a few impressive big spots. Sabu's alright, I can't hate him. Tempest and Slash jump Sabu immediately. Like, immediately. It's the shortest transition from match to post-match beatdown I've ever seen. Sabu fights back with a springboard lionsault thing, but Malice comes back to help out with a chair. They set him up on the apron and Malice chokeslams him through a table on the outside. We cut to outside the building where Jarrett is being ejected from the building by a security team. No such treatment for Scott Hall, who is presumably still inside. Why not? They were both brawling. We didn't even see if Jarrett started it.
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Oct 9, 2014 19:39
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TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA PART 2 Tag Team and X Division champion AJ Styles heads out to cut a promo. Uh oh. That's not what he does. "AJ" chants greet him - he's popular round these parts. Luckily he's cut off immediately by Jerry Lynn who storms to the ring. He asks Styles how long he's been wrestling; AJ answers three and a half years. Now Lynn wants to hear how long his own career is in comparison. Styles answers truthfully - fourteen years. Tenay chimes in saying "that's a shoot!". Kayfabe is lying in pieces on the floor. Also, apparently every time something true is said in a promo that means it's a shoot? Lynn rips into AJ for not paying his dues and says he refuses to let him steal all the victories and glory. The crowd are getting behind him - I'm not sure that's the intention here. AJ reluctantly accepts this verbal beatdown and Lynn seems satisfied. Jerry turns to hand the mic over to somebody at ringside...and AJ hits an enziguri kick to the back of the head! MINI-SWERVE (doesn't really count). Discus clothesline! Styles clash! Lynn is out cold and AJ storms to the back. Goldilocks heads into the women's bathroom to interview Jasmine St. Claire (the porn star who tried to strip in the ring last week), who is applying her makeup in the mirror. It's still quite intrusive, but at least she isn't straining out a huge poo poo or anything. In typical TNA fashion, Goldi barely gets a question out before the interview goes to hell. Francine bursts in and beats the crap out of her, before shoving her onto the floor of a shower-area and turning on the water. K-Krush's music hits and he dances to the ring. He's one of the few non-X Divsion workers I never dread seeing. He could probably compete in X Division matches as well - he's certainly agile enough. Unfortunately he's been stuck in lovely feuds and lacklustre matches since the start of the thread, but he can certainly do better. Krush demands that everybody shut up and look at him. He looks like a star (one woman screams in agreement), sounds like a star, and moves like a star. He even smells like a star, so he demands to know why he isn't yet the biggest drat star in the business. He runs down the WWE for letting him go, surely therefore admitting that they're a bigger company. How strange. He says he's been kept down his whole life and treat like a second class citizen. Oh no, not the racism angle again. I smell a return of the White World Order. Krush promises that he's not an angry black man, he's The Truth, and The Truth will no longer be denied. I've just thought, if Krush was a face he could be seen as representing the fans' search for truth. Then his nickname could be Our Truth. 2. K-Krush vs Norman Smiley Krush jumps Smiley at the bell but quickly falls victim to his comedy dancing offence. He gets spanked and isn't amused, drilling Smiley with a spinning heel kick and chopping him in the corner. The pair slow it down - not intentionally, they just both hit a series of lacklustre moves. It's not the most enthralling match in the world at all. K-Krush hooks up Smiley and hits an inverted sitout suplex, smashing his face and torso into the mat. At least that's the theory, but Smiley takes the bump like an absolute pussy and makes the move look half as effective. It's enough for three. Winner: K-Krush 0.5/5 - Horrible. Really sloppy apart from the first minute or so. Mainly Smiley's fault, which is strange because I thought he was usually a dependable wrestler. Krush rips off his belt and whips Smiley a few times, before wrapping it around his neck and hanging him over the top rope. Brutal, and the announce team sell it very well too. Smiley's...rather hefty wife runs out from the back and begs K-Krush to stop. He does so...but tries to attack her instead! TNA security finally arrive on the scene and drag him away. Goldilocks is backstage interviewing Puppet The Midget Killer. He's inside a bin - we can only see his head, but it's heavily implied that he's masturbating. Is this a new low? Probably not. Goldi hypes his upcoming match with Meatball (the world's largest midget) and Puppet brags about his six inch pythons. He promises to show Goldi his "cobra" later if she's a good girl. She corrects him and says it's a garden snake. Goldi walks off and says that she's had it with this job. Once her singing career takes off she's out. As she walks down the corridor she passes the three Dupps sitting on the floor. Bo seems to be dry humping Fluff. Stan is amusing himself by flicking a lighter on and off. Goldi asks what the hell is going on, and Stan tells her that she has some pretty lips. She's quite flattered and thanks him, but he says he didn't mean those lips. This gets a loving HUGE CHEER! Wow. 3. The Flying Elvises vs Elix Skipper and Chris Daniels The Elvises made a statement last week by jumping the competitors of the X Division contenders match last week. Daniels and Skipper have joined forces to teach them a lesson. They kick off with a big brawl inside and outside the ring, which Skipper ends with a big senton over the top rope onto Estrada. "This is our house!" he screams. Estrada and Daniels throw down on the outside as Siaki and Skipper move into the ring...and Siaki CRUSHES Elix with amazing move. He hurls him high into the air and catches him with a slam on the way down, Cesaro style! Estrada gets the tag and hits a difficult running shooting star press for two while Siaki goes over to the announce table. He cuts an almost indecipherable mid-match promo which just about got his point across. He's only interested in three things, "me, me, and me", and wants to show all the ladies at home how he gets down. Silly Siaki, women don't watch Sonny heads back to the ring and gets the tag, dropping Skipper across his shoulder with a big backbreaker. Dude is strong. He tags back out and heads for the announce table again, leaving Estrada to eat a massive springboard-clothesline from Skipper. Tenay asks if Siaki realises this is a tag team match, but Siaki claims he's been carrying the Flying Elvises from the very first show. He heads back to the ring just in time to catch Daniels coming off a hot tag. The Fallen Angel clears house by being Awesome At Wrestling, but Estrada hits a backdrop suplex to leave him on all fours. Skipper hops off Daniels' back for what I assume is a poetry in motion type move, but instead he pulls out something loving INSANE! He uses Estrada's shoulders as a second platform, and leaps from those into a loving perfect hurricanrana on Siaki! Jesus Christ! The Elvises regain control and Estrada hits a second rope guillotine legdrop on Daniels for two. Chris hits an immaculate enziguri and both men tag out. Skipper goes to town on Siaki with a nice hiptoss and a hard belly-to-belly, but Estrada saves him from a pinfall. He tags himself in and...botches a springboard move off the second rope. He sort of saves it and turns it into a clumsy rolling thunder, but everybody knows he hosed up. Daniels gets the tag and busts out the best moonsault ever (actual name) on Estrada for two, but Siaki breaks it up and gets the tag. Daniels hits the complete shot out of nowhere and tags in Skipper, who hits a nice missile dropkick for two. Sonny responds with a nearfall of his own after a nice pumphandle suplex, but Daniels breaks it up, and the pair armdrag one another over the top rope to the outside. Skipper sets up for the play of the day in the ring, but Estrada fights out and hurls him overhead. He dances in celebration, but Elix has flipped out and landed on his feet! Play of the day connects and is enough for the three count, but the ref is distracted by the brawl on the outside. Skipper is pissed, allowing Siaki to slide in and ambush him. He hits a sick rolling neckbreaker for three. Winners: The Flying Elvises 3/5 - Should be a higher rating, but two things held this match back. 1. Estrada's slight tendency to execute sloppily and occasionally botch things. 2. That weird angle with Siaki going to commentary mid-match to big himself up. This would work in the hands of a super-charismatic worker like The Rock or CM Punk, but certainly not Siaki. Luckily he delivered in ring, as did Skipper and Daniels, to make for a pretty great little match. The heels pose and wiggle their hips in the ring...but here come the Dupps with planks of wood! Siaki immediately bails, leaving Estrada to take a wood shot from all three Dupps (even Fluff). This seems out of the blue, but Tenay reminds me that the Elvises beat the Dupps last week. Thanks Mike. Much is made of Siaki bailing as well - Tenay is on top form tonight. Shame the same can't be said of West, who really is dreadful. We cut to a standard shot of one of the dancing girls, but there's a slight difference. Teo is in the cage with her and seems to be having a great time. Major bonus points if you can remember who Teo is. Answer below He's the winner of episode one's Midget Match. We've literally not seen him since, so I'm not how he's managed to secure a paycheck tonight. Fair play to him though.
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Oct 13, 2014 01:16
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Pet Rock Band posted:TNA is a flat circle. Major coincidence here, I binge-watched True Detective over the past few days and now appreciate this reference so much. TNA is Carcosa. Jarrett is clearly Rust Cohle, jumping suspects and trying to get to the bottom of whatever the gently caress is going on here.
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Oct 13, 2014 01:19
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Pet Rock Band posted:I uh. Recently found a way for me to watch all of these. I don't want to step on your toes, but I'm considering trying to watch through some or parts of them out of blind curiosity what the shows look like on TV opposed to live. Also to try to catch myself on camera. Go for it dude, as long as you don't post spoilers. I really want to see exactly how this car crash unfolds.
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Oct 13, 2014 18:01
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TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA PART 3 Goldi is backstage with K-Krush. She's about to ask why he beat Norman Smiley down after their match, but he cuts her off and threatens to start slapping her around. SCOTT HALL TACKLES HIM OUT OF NOWHERE. He beats him down for about two seconds and strides off. Tenay claims that it's a case of "two down, one to go" on his revenge list - Brian Lawler and Jeff Jarrett being the other two. I'm not sure that counts as a beatdown worthy of crossing K-Krush off the list. 4. Midget Match: Meatball vs Puppet More midget wrestling, joy of joys. Meatball is billed as "the world's largest midget" and stands a towering 4'5". He brings a trolley of food down to ringside and takes a big bag of cheetos into the ring with him. He's also got a fork which will probably be used at some point. Puppet kicks things off with a trash can shot to the head and some sort of van daminator. Meatball throws him to the outside and comes off the apron with an axe handle. They battle up the ramp and Meatball takes a cream pie from his trolley of food, smashing it into Puppet's face. What is the point of this match? Puppet avoids a pineapple shot and hits a low blow, before dropping a big bag of sugar over Meatball's neck. That might be the most painful food-related spot I've ever seen. MELON TO THE FACE! They've really cracked down on those since the Benoit incident. Puppet busts out the more conventional weapons again, including a trashcan lid and a chair. He climbs ALL THE WAY UP to the top of the ring steps and hits a tornado DDT off them. He makes the cover (this is falls count anywhere apparently) but only gets two. They head back into the ring and Puppet hits a guillotine legdrop, followed by a splash from the middle rope - with a chair placed on Meatball's torso - for three. Winner: Puppet 0.5/5 - This should been given two minutes, max. Instead it went for six or seven, but at least they put an effort in. Puppet walks to the back and passes one of the dancing cages, in which Teo is still grinding on the girl inside. Puppet throws a dirty look and heads to the back. Teo rips off the girl's top and waves it to the crowd as she covers up in shame. Ferrara and West cheer him for this. Jasmin St. Claire is out selling the effects of her earlier beating at the hands of Francine. She calls the ECW alumnus out right now. Francine comes a'runnin'. 5. Jasmin St. Claire vs Francine They cat fight on the floor for a little while and Jasmin rips off Francine's top. Francine, in turn, rips off Jasmin's skirt. I don't think this is going to be the five-star classic we all hoped for, folks. The camera shows a couple of horrendous middle-aged men in the first row waving dollar bills in the air. Francine takes off her belt and starts whipping the poo poo out of Jasmin. Suddenly somebody I don't quite recognise hits the ring. Holy poo poo, apparently it's The Blue Meanie! He's looking trim! Tenay explains that he's Jasmin's boyfriend (bullshit)...and he STRAIGHT UP MURDERS FRANCINE WITH A DDT! Wow, I was expecting him to shove her out of the ring or something, not that. I guess Francine wins by DQ. Winner: Francine NA/5 - Didn't go long enough to have a rating, which is lucky because I'd have given it a DUD. Meanie carries Jasmin to the back and is booed all the way. EMTs (and Ed Ferrara) help load Francine onto a stretcher. West puts over Ferrara's genuine concern as proof that Francine's injury is serious. Tenay puts on his best Owen Hart voice and throws to Goldi in the back. Goldi is with Low Ki and begins to ask her a question. He says "I do my talking in the ring" and leaves. What a segment. 6. TNA X-Division Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs Low Ki The pair begin with some intense mat wrestling before standing and exchanging chops, then leg kicks. Low Ki ducks a head kick and takes AJ down, but Styles rolls him over and rains down some punches. Quite a strong-style match here, everything looking stiff and fairly realistic. Everyone in the crowd gets distracted by something and turns around, missing a kick to the face from Low Ki. The challenger busts out some Mongolian chops, a move I've only ever seen in the CAW section of Smackdown games. He whips AJ into the corner and goes for a cartwheel, but Styles springs out and dropkicks him mid-flip! He hits a beautiful dropkick and a standing senton, but Low Ki fights back with a vicious array of kicks. Tenay pimps Ki's upcoming appearance at Ring Of Honor, "a real hot independent show coming up in Philadelphia". So patronising, so deliciously ironic. They battle to the apron and Styles knocks Low Ki to the floor with a discus clothesline, before missing a springboard moonsault as the challenger rolls out of the way. The champ stuns Low Ki and dashes into the ring, looking for a suicide dive back to the outside...but LOW KI JUMPS UP AND KICKS HIM AS HIS HEAD COMES THROUGH THE ROPES! Very nice! They battle on the apron once more, only for Low Ki to scuttle inside and apply his dragon clutch through the ropes, kind of like Tajiri's tarantula. The ref breaks it up and AJ kicks out of the ensuing pinfall attempt at two. Styles hits his springboard/inverted-DDT thing for two, before charging the challenger in the corner, but Low Ki flashes a superkick into his face at lightning speed. He runs...straight into a fast powerslam from AJ. Oh poo poo! Styles hits a very delayed brainbustah~! but is slow to make the cover, allowing the challenger to just about kick out in time. They head to the top rope and Ki tries for a superplex, but AJ pushes him facefirst down to the mat. Styles stands up...and misses with the spiral tap! Low Ki makes the cover but AJ kicks out. Low Ki sets Styles up for the Ki crusher...but runs him into the opposite turnbuckle instead! Ouch. Oh he keeps him up there! He goes for the crusher this time...BUT STYLES COUNTERS INTO A MASSIVE DDT! It only gets two. Ki hits hits cartwheel enziguri and heads up top. He attempts some kind of corkscrew but lands on AJ's shoulders! The champ lowers him down and hits the Styles clash for three! Fantastic finish. Winner and STILL TNA X-Division Champion: AJ Styles 4/5 - Not the longest or most epic of title matches, but one executed to near perfection. I was originally going to only give this 3.5/5, but the finishing spot was great enough to push it into 4 star territory. Great work from these two yet again. AJ heads up the ramp and roars in triumph...but here comes Jerry Lynn from the back with a vicious spear! He drags him to the ring and hits a big piledriver (not his usual cradle variation, just a straight-up piledriver). Lynn heads under the ring and grabs the ladder from the Sabu vs Malice match earlier, propping it in the corner and smashing Styles into it with a sickening overhead suplex. Oh he's not done! A shitload of mounted punches follow, as well as a second suplex - this one dropping AJ gut-first onto the ladder. Legdrop to the back of the head. Jesus. This is a vicious beatdown. Lynn promises that AJ will respect him and heads to the back. Tenay begins to hype the next match...but Jerry comes back down for more! DDT onto the ladder, ouch. Cradle piledriver, and FINALLY that's enough. That was a five minute beatdown, just big move after big move. If AJ shows up next week I'm calling bullshit. Tenay claims he will be there however, as the pair are obliged to defend their tag titles. Tenay also finally announces that next weeks Shamrock vs Sabu title match will be contested under the Ladder stipulation. But also under a Submission stipulation as well, because the NWA top brass wanted that thrown in too apparently. What!? Why can't they just stick with one or the other? So it's a Ladder Or Submission match next week for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. Really catchy.
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Oct 15, 2014 00:00
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TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA Part 4 It's main event time, the match everybody's been dreaming of - Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall. Fantastic. Lawler is out first to chants of "Jerry's kid, Jerry's kid". He says he's going to reveal a few facts about his dad. Fact number 1: Jerry Lawler has been married three times, and each wife was younger than Brian himself. He calls it sickening. Fact number 2 ("and this is a shoot"): Brian left a ticket for Jerry to sit in the crowd and watch his son wrestle - but he's not here. Every Wednesday night he likes to hang out at the local high school with a fistful of candies. WOW! Jeeeeez. Fact number 3: this story involves Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, and Vince McMahon. Hall's music hits and cuts off Brian, but Lawler demands it's silenced so he can continue to rant. Hall sneaks out of the crowd and stand behind Lawler for an awkwardly long time. They really stretch it out long past the point of entertainment (see the image at the top of the post), as Brian rants and raves for a good minute or so before finally turning around into a big right hand. 7. Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall Hall beats Lawler to the outside and hurls him onto the announce table. Tenay uses the phrase "right in front of us!" way too many times. We get it, they're right in front of you. Scott beats him around the outside for a while, which the commentators sell as the most exciting thing ever. Don West calls it "unreal", but it looks like a standard one-sided beatdown to me. Lawler finally turns the tide by snatching a purse from the front row and smashing it over Scott's head a few times. Back in the ring, Brian heels it up more by biting Hall's forehead and dropping a headbutt into his groin. The ref is phoning this in apparently. A snap suplex into a pinfall attempt gets two, and Lawler heads to the outside to grab a mic. He says that anybody chanting "Jerry's kid" can kiss Jerry's kid's rear end. Instead of dropping the mic he casually lobs it into the air. I like that. Not sure about TNA's growing obsession with their wrestlers cutting mid-match promos though. Lawler ducks a discus clothesline and hits a superkick, but Scott cuts him off before he can hit the Hip Hop Drop. A big fallaway slam really pleases Don West, whose incessant face-cheering has been particularly annoying in this match. Hall sets up for the Razor's Edge, but K-Krush hits the ring to save his buddy. He's easily dealt with after only a few right hands, allowing Scott to hit his finisher and pick up the win. Winner: Scott Hall 1/5 - Really not sure what the point of this was. Pretty bad in-ring action, capped off by the least successful run in ever by K-Krush. Hall was barely trying to put on a show, although Lawler did sell well and heel it up consistently, so minor props for that. Hall gets his hand raised and shrugs his shoulders because he's really cool. Krush hits the ring and gets set up for the Razor's Edge, but Lawler saves him by hitting Scott with a few low blows. Krush takes off his belt and the heels lift it into Hall's crotch, before Krush chokes him out with it. Security come out to break it up and escort the pair to the back, while Hall is loaded onto a stretcher. A stretcher job for THAT!? The commentators sell the brutality of that very short beatdown. Ferrara: "yeah his spit was all over that camera lens for a while." They wheel him up the ramp and here comes another paramedic with a steel chair...but WAIT! THAT'S NO PARAMEDIC! Of course it's Jeff Jarrett, who starts laying out EMTs with his chair, before cracking a prone Hall over the head. West wonders how the HELL Jarrett got back in the building. Tenay snaps back "well he was disguised as a paramedic OBVIOUSLY!". I'd just like to point out that there's nothing at all covering Jeff's face. He's wearing all white and that's it. There's no way you could mistake him for anybody else - I realised it was Jarrett immediately. Security run down the ramp and confront Jeff one at a time, which of course ends with him laying each out in turn. Tenay and West scream that they're out of time and they've got to go. What a fantastic ending you guys. This is the third show in a row which has ended with Jarrett going nuts and taking out hordes of people with a steel chair. How are they getting away with such ridiculous booking? Summary to follow.
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Nov 1, 2014 01:00
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I also just want to thank you guys for the awesome feedback, and apologise for the long time in between updates. Pet Rock Band and Junpei Hyde, I think we can safely induct the Blue Meanie into the White World Order for his vicious assault on a woman. He'll be in a misogynistic league of his own for the time being alongside the racist wWo Hollywhite and homophobic wWo Straightpac divisions. Name suggestions?
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Nov 1, 2014 01:04
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Yes.
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Nov 1, 2014 18:44
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TNA #5: A GOOD DAY TO TNA SUMMARY Match Of The Night AJ Styles vs Low Ki - A fantastic match, probably the best we've seen in this thread so far. The finish seemed outrageously difficult to execute and they did it anyway. Wrestler Of The Night 1. Low Ki - This boy can go. Worked with AJ to put on a memorable match and showcased more of his unique style. 2. AJ Styles - Shaded by Low Ki but only just, AJ delivered with a top notch showing. A great performance as always from the champ. 3. Elix Skipper - Snatches third spot again with an MVP showing in the tag match. Defied gravity in one particular spot. 4. Sonny Siaki - Utilised his strength and power very well, but points deducted for his weak mid-match promo skills on commentary. 5. Chris Daniels - Suffered from a limited role, but did everything asked of him very well. Estrada would have probably been on here in place of Daniels if he hadn't botched a few of his moves. In a similar vein, Sabu turned in an above average performance in the opening ladder match, hindered by occasional sloppiness. Wrestler Of The "1st Tenth" Standings 1. AJ Styles - 18 2. Low Ki - 16 3. Jerry Lynn - 10 4. Chris Daniels - 6 Elix Skipper - 6 5. Jimmy Yang - 5 6. David Young - 4 7. Sonny Siaki - 3 8. Psicosis - 2 Lenny - 2 Brian Lawler - 2 9. Apollo - 1 AJ and Low Ki are rocketing ahead here. Can anybody catch them? TNA #5: A Good Day To TNA - 5/10 For the second show in a row, TNA turns in its best performance so far! At this rate we'll be hitting 10/10 in five weeks time, fo' sho'. AJ vs Low Ki was obviously very good, as was the tag match between the Elvises and Daniels/Skipper. The opening ladder match, although sloppy, was pretty entertaining (and had the benefit of a particularly hot crowd due to Sabu's surprising début). Unfortunately everything else on the show was garbage, including the main event - a costly factor which really costs the overall score. Hall and Lawler were clearly phoning it in and ended the entire show on a huge downer, while non-events like the midget match and Francine vs Jasmin ensured that no momentum could be gained. In order to improve substantially, TNA needs to get its most talented performers out of this "X-Division" and further up the card. In truth, the whole concept of the X-Division seems like an excuse to keep Jarrett, Hall and co. at the top of the card instead of using them to put over deserving young talents. Let the flippy guys fight each other and they'll barely upset the status quo. Guitars Smashed: 0
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Nov 2, 2014 03:30
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