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Leroy Dennui
Aug 9, 2014

Gina McCarthy made us gay,
but we would not have met
had Biden not dropped his cones
:gaysper::frogbon:

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

lovely delivery pizza is still usually better than the lovely frozen pizzas!

Clearly, you've never been to the Lehigh Valley area of Pennsylvania, where delivery pizza goes to die.

I hate it when you get or make a pizza and the sauce is just some sugar paste. At least try to make it vaguely taste like tomatoes, Sauce People.

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Boinks
Nov 24, 2003



What ever happened to Tombstone stuffed crust? Digorno is the only one that makes stuffed crust now and their pizzas taste like rear end. I'd rather eat Tony's than that poo poo.

SocketWrench
Jul 8, 2012

by Fritz the Horse

Leroy Dennui posted:

Clearly, you've never been to the Lehigh Valley area of Pennsylvania, where delivery pizza goes to die.

I hate it when you get or make a pizza and the sauce is just some sugar paste. At least try to make it vaguely taste like tomatoes, Sauce People.

We've got a local one that brags about their cheese, so they cheese the gently caress out of it with little sauce and it just turns out as a greasy, blan mess. and by greasy, I mean before it even shows up at your door the bottom of the box is staining through in large patches. They used to be awesome and seemed to have the perfect ratio of stuff.
Course there's always Roma's out of town in the country about 10 miles, their pizza was the best. Perfect cheese, sauce, crust, had a slight butter taste and a hint of garlic to give it some character...haven't had one in years and now I crave, dammit.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
GBS Pizza Thread.

The Fuzzy Hulk
Nov 22, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS


we're all gonna make it brah

Nut to Butt
Apr 13, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
i used to go hog wild on tostinos pizzas. yall are right, theyre more pizza-esque than actual pizza, but still drat delicious & you can buy like ten for $5 or something stupid

tried hot pockets a couple of times, and got sick/vomited every single time. never again. hot pockets are poison

tombstone is probably the best frozen pizza overall. ok thanks for reading, like & share

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
gently caress you gently caress tony

ColdReaches
Oct 12, 2013

Place : Detroit
Date : 4031 A.D.
When people sweat into your food, thats extra flavoring.

LastGoodBoy
Sep 7, 2014

Keep your mind be open window everyday
We can at least all agree that Papa Murphy's is the best pizza. Those of us with functioning taste, anyway.

Time Trial
Aug 5, 2004

A saucerful of cyanide
Anyone that eats any pizza that hasn't been granted D.O.C. is a loving pleb, probably fat too from shoveling in tons of pizza to ruin their tastebuds

Nick Rivers
Nov 23, 2004
I like pizza.

ColdReaches
Oct 12, 2013

Place : Detroit
Date : 4031 A.D.

Nick Rivers posted:

I like pizza.

I like kim chi

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice


or



??

SocketWrench
Jul 8, 2012

by Fritz the Horse

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

i dont get it?

Nut to Butt
Apr 13, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
it's the popular Forever Alone meme, hth

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

i have no use for frozen pizza because i can get little caesers. this thread is useless to me

Spazzle
Jul 5, 2003

My philosophy is pizza every night.

How to make a pizza dough
4 cups flour
Teaspoon salt
Tablespoon yeast
2 cups warm (not hot) water

Mix flour and salt in food processor with dough blade
Mix yeast with one cup of water, pour into food processor while mixing flour. Slowly add more water until dough is damp, but not wet, usually another 0.5 cups. Place dough into bowl or pot wiped on the inside with olive oil. Cover and let rise 3+ hours. Makes enough dough for 2 pizzas.

Dough can be frozen before rising, pull out in morning and it will be ready by dinner.

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004

we're all gonna make it brah

Idiot Kicker
Jun 13, 2007
The lean pockets with chicken and artichokes are actually good

Spazzle
Jul 5, 2003

How to make a pizza

Requirements:
Pizza dough
Semolina flour
Oven
Pizza stone
2 pizza peels (big spatula things for putting pizza in and out of oven. I prefer one wood and one metal)
Grated mozzarella cheese
Marinera sauce
Toppings


Preheat oven with pizza stone as hot as you can make it, probably at least a half hour.

Spead a handful of semolina on the wooden peel. Take a half dough and spread it out on the peel. Cover it with more semolina, an flip it a couple of times. You want to make sure the dough can slide off the peel. The semolina acts as a dry lubricant. Wet doughs will stick to the peel and you will gently caress up putting them in the oven.

When the dough is spread out on the peel, put on the toppings. I start with Marinera sauce, then whetever im adding, and finish with the cheese. I find that putting cheese under the toppings makes it too hard to cook.

Use the peel to place the dough on the pizza stone in the oven. You're gonna mess this up a few times. Deal with it. Cook until cheese is bubbly. Use the thin metal peel to pull pizza out of oven.

Eat it hot like the goon you are.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

Turfahurf posted:

The spinach and cheese pretzel bread lean pockets are good as gently caress. Cheeseburger hotpockets are also real good but all the rest are pretty garbage especially pizza and ham & cheese.

The philly cheesesteak are the worst. Culinary circle makes the best frozen pizzas if you can find them

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

I like Tombstone veggie pizza. It has delicious broccoli on it. You wouldn't think it works, but it does.

Miss Cheggs
Mar 22, 2007



Spazzle posted:

How to make a pizza

Requirements:
Pizza dough
Semolina flour
Oven
Pizza stone
2 pizza peels (big spatula things for putting pizza in and out of oven. I prefer one wood and one metal)
Grated mozzarella cheese
Marinera sauce
Toppings


Preheat oven with pizza stone as hot as you can make it, probably at least a half hour.

Spead a handful of semolina on the wooden peel. Take a half dough and spread it out on the peel. Cover it with more semolina, an flip it a couple of times. You want to make sure the dough can slide off the peel. The semolina acts as a dry lubricant. Wet doughs will stick to the peel and you will gently caress up putting them in the oven.

When the dough is spread out on the peel, put on the toppings. I start with Marinera sauce, then whetever im adding, and finish with the cheese. I find that putting cheese under the toppings makes it too hard to cook.

Use the peel to place the dough on the pizza stone in the oven. You're gonna mess this up a few times. Deal with it. Cook until cheese is bubbly. Use the thin metal peel to pull pizza out of oven.

Eat it hot like the goon you are.

Is there like a major store that carries peels? I have never seen one but have mastered moving raw dough to the pizza stone

West SAAB Story
Mar 13, 2014

by Athanatos

(and can't post for 279 days!)

Space cash posted:

Is there like a major store that carries peels?

it should say so outside. P-H-A-R-M-A-C-Y

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Spazzle posted:

How to make a pizza

Requirements:
Pizza dough
Semolina flour
Oven
Pizza stone
2 pizza peels (big spatula things for putting pizza in and out of oven. I prefer one wood and one metal)
Grated mozzarella cheese
Marinera sauce
Toppings


Preheat oven with pizza stone as hot as you can make it, probably at least a half hour.

Spead a handful of semolina on the wooden peel. Take a half dough and spread it out on the peel. Cover it with more semolina, an flip it a couple of times. You want to make sure the dough can slide off the peel. The semolina acts as a dry lubricant. Wet doughs will stick to the peel and you will gently caress up putting them in the oven.

When the dough is spread out on the peel, put on the toppings. I start with Marinera sauce, then whetever im adding, and finish with the cheese. I find that putting cheese under the toppings makes it too hard to cook.

Use the peel to place the dough on the pizza stone in the oven. You're gonna mess this up a few times. Deal with it. Cook until cheese is bubbly. Use the thin metal peel to pull pizza out of oven.

Eat it hot like the goon you are.

No traditional wood fired pizza oven?

Plebe.

g0lbez
Dec 25, 2004

and then you'll beg
you could also buy a pizza crust and spend four minutes slapping pizza sauce and cheese on it or i guess just microwave a giant openfaced round hotpocket

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

g0lbez posted:

you could also buy a pizza crust and spend four minutes slapping pizza sauce and cheese on it or i guess just microwave a giant openfaced round hotpocket

Premade crusts are the best since it's the crust which is by far the most difficult part of making a pizza. What goon really wants to or can deal with flour?

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010

"The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."
How to make a pizza

Ingredients:
Pizza dough
Flour
Pepperoni
Cutting board
American cheese
Tomato sauce (ketchup)


So preheat the oven or microwave.

While that's happening, combine all of the aforementioned ingredients into a large glass bowl. Stir until you end up with a single pinkish blob of uniform consistency.

Throw the blob in the oven/microwave (LEAVE IT IN THE BOWL).

Cook for 12 minutes at 450F (oven) or 35 minutes on "high" (microwave)

Remove bowl from oven/microwave and cover pizza with hand-shredded american cheese slices. Open up a bottle of room temperature (NOT COLD/REFRIGERATED) ketchup and apply generously.

For an additional "flair", add oregano to the ketchup to give it an Italian flavour.

Warmachine
Jan 30, 2012



Cuniculous posted:

Eating hot pockets is easy when you hate yourself.

Spazzle
Jul 5, 2003

Space cash posted:

Is there like a major store that carries peels? I have never seen one but have mastered moving raw dough to the pizza stone

Amazon has all kinds.

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007
Ramrod XTreme
digorno is my favorite frozen pizza

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

I saw this one on America's Test Kitchen last night and it looks pretty badass.

http://www.amazon.com/EXO-Super-Pizza-Solid-White/dp/B001T6OVPO

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
cut up hotdogs on a tortilla, if you got it cheese.

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010

"The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."
Buy a pack of potato bread, pepperoni, and cheap cheddar. Steal a few cans of stewed tomatoes (never pay for stewed tomatoes, the industry is full of liars and draft-dodgers).

Go home and pulverize slices of potato bread until you have a solid base to work off of. If the pepperoni is pre-sliced, slice it again. We want those pepperoni "slices" to be small as hell so they get real sharp when they cook. Then, for the coup-de-gras, melt down the block of cheap cheddar and pour it through one of these--the perforations will shape the molten cheese, and when it cools, you will have aesthetically pleasing cheese tendrils.

Finally, take a blunt-tipped knife and punch a few holes in the top of a can of stewed tomatoes. Sometimes I'll take a paring knife and slash the label a few times--as if to say, you're not good enough for me. Flip the can upside down and let the red juice glug-glug-glug out onto the pizza. We don't want (or even need) the tomatoes, so throw them away. They're worthless loving poo poo.

Bone appetite.

Good soup!
Nov 2, 2010

Tombstone is pretty good

Warmachine
Jan 30, 2012



Cream-of-Plenty posted:

Buy a pack of potato bread, pepperoni, and cheap cheddar. Steal a few cans of stewed tomatoes (never pay for stewed tomatoes, the industry is full of liars and draft-dodgers).

Go home and pulverize slices of potato bread until you have a solid base to work off of. If the pepperoni is pre-sliced, slice it again. We want those pepperoni "slices" to be small as hell so they get real sharp when they cook. Then, for the coup-de-gras, melt down the block of cheap cheddar and pour it through one of these--the perforations will shape the molten cheese, and when it cools, you will have aesthetically pleasing cheese tendrils.

Finally, take a blunt-tipped knife and punch a few holes in the top of a can of stewed tomatoes. Sometimes I'll take a paring knife and slash the label a few times--as if to say, you're not good enough for me. Flip the can upside down and let the red juice glug-glug-glug out onto the pizza. We don't want (or even need) the tomatoes, so throw them away. They're worthless loving poo poo.

Bone appetite.

Pretty sure Hobby Lobby doesn't cover this kind of pizza making because it can be qualified as an abortifacient.

Game_Whino
Jul 16, 2007

Let's drink until we can't feel anymore!

redshirt posted:

Premade crusts are the best since it's the crust which is by far the most difficult part of making a pizza. What goon really wants to or can deal with flour?

Crusts are easy once you get to working with yeast. All you need to do is, on your day off, make and pre-bake (cook until solid, as opposed to done) a bunch of pizza crusts. Freeze the ones you're not going to use right away.

My recipe:

3.5 cups flour
1.5 cups warmish water
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon yeast
2 teaspoons salt (I prefer kosher salt, but I think regular will work)
1 cup cornmeal

Mix your water and sugar together, then proof your yeast in it until it starts to bubble a little. Then in a separate mixing bowl mix your flour, salt, and a quarter cup of cornmeal. Form the flour concoction into a volcano like shape. Pour your yeast into the center of the flour-cano. Next you fold your flour over the liquid until its thoroughly mixed together. If its still to wet at the end, just add a quarter cup of flour at a time until its the consistency you want. Set the other three-fourths cup of cornmeal off to the side, cover your dough and place it in the fridge overnight. Punch your dough down slightly and divide it into 2 balls.

The next day, sprinkle the remaining corn meal on a clean work surface, flop a dough ball on it and work it into a pizza crust. Check that the bottom of the crust is well coated with corn meal. From here you can either make your pizza and transfer it to oven (425F until the cheese on top is golden brown, about 15 minutes) or you can precook your crusts (425 for around 7 minutes, until the top solid but still white) and freeze them for later use.

Edit: I've also got a sauce recipe if anyone is interested.

Game_Whino fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Sep 14, 2014

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Digorno's is so good i'd stay in an abusive relationship just for a whiff.

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Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:

Digorno's is so good i'd stay in an abusive relationship just for a whiff.

Hey, I get that joke you just made.

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