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You may have heard that forums god emperor Rick "Lowtax" Kayak is looking to hire an advertising manager! This hot new position is a part-time gig on the bottom rung of the Something Awful LLC ladder, directly positioned so that your nose can probe Lowtax's butthole as you strive to earn enough to pay your mom back for putting your oversized hacker shirt in the laundry with the whites and discoloring all her bras. Lowtax has authorized me to receive resumes for this illustrious position here on the forums, so that his loyal goons get first crack at sniffing his crack. Leave your credentials and if you're lucky you might work your way up to feeling Shmorky's five-o-clock shadow rasp against your cheek as you share a sensual kiss at one of the famed SA office sex parties.
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:41 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 11:50 |
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im gay
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:43 |
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Work Experience: im gay
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:43 |
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I will paint lowtaxs fence if he gives me a plate of corn muffins.
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:44 |
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dear Lowtax I have never acheived anything in my life. please can i has the job so that I can acheive nothing for yuo also
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:45 |
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Lowtax I will review hentai games for you You don't even have to pay me but just buy me lots of hentai games
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:46 |
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i could send a bunch of e-mails to companies begging them to advertise on SA in return for sexual favors. no ads that make noise though, those are annoying as gently caress
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:46 |
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CharlestonJew posted:i could send a bunch of e-mails to companies begging them to advertise on SA in return for sexual favors. we should. we should have ads that make noise. just like an endless fart loop at 32 kpbs quality. but in .wav for maximum bandwidth usage also im pretty sure you just need to use google ad and youre done
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:47 |
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my resume The public doesn't scare me, i'm willing to clean a public restroom for around 20 dollars a hour.
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:48 |
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I plan on offering potential advertisers a DVD copy of Doom House for every $20 in billing they commit to. Such visionary thinking will surely land me the job.
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:50 |
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whats the pay
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:51 |
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I can drive to pleasant hill and I will give lowtax some weed
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:52 |
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I got 2 words for you lowtax: sex tape
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:52 |
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Fluent in: - Linux - Anime - Bad car talk - Making tea
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:53 |
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Professional Summary Award-winning advertising executive with considerable talent for understanding the desires of consumers and effectively pitching and selling ideas. Especially well acquainted with the ways of chain smokers, suburban housewives, and hard drinkers. Very effective reader of body language. Professional Experience Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, New York City 1963-present Founding Partner, Creative Director
Sterling Cooper, New York City 1958-1963 Junior Partner, Creative Director
Phyll & Durrer Clothiers, New York City 1956-1958 Top-selling salesman for small, upscale midtown clothing store
Honest Dick's Used Cars, Los Angeles, California 1953-1956 Used car salesman Military Service Lieutenant, US Army, Korean Conflict -- Awarded Purple Heart Education City College of New York, 1956-1958
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:54 |
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www posted:whats the pay 4.20/hr plus on fridays you get/have to wear a buttplug
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:57 |
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if I take the job could I replace my pay with the ability to never get banned or probated ever?
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 16:58 |
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you know this job will really just be to act as a buffer between lowtax and shmorky.
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:00 |
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CharlestonJew posted:if I take the job could I replace my pay with the ability to never get banned or probated ever? lowtax just texted me and said 'tell charlestonjew that hes hired and yes ill never ban or probate him'
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:02 |
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wait i got a second text, it says 'sike'
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:03 |
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CharlestonJew posted:if I take the job could I replace my pay with the ability to never get banned or probated ever? nice try aatrek
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:03 |
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I am an expert in running poo poo into the ground you should hire me because
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:05 |
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Professional Summary Award-winning advertising executive with considerable talent for understanding the desires of consumers and effectively pitching and selling ideas. Especially well acquainted with the ways of chain smokers, suburban housewives, and hard drinkers. Very effective reader of body language. Professional Experience Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, New York City 1963-present Founding Partner, Creative Director Won Clio Award for Glo-Coat Floor Wax advertising campaign Halted new tobacco accounts in response to government's health concerns of smoking Landed new accounts with Samsonite, Mountain Dew, and Life Cereal Reorganized Creative staff following departure of major account Sterling Cooper, New York City 1958-1963 Junior Partner, Creative Director Called "the face" of the company by fellow partner Secured lucrative account with Lucky Strike cigarettes Devised and aired TV spots for 'Nixon for President' campaign Phyll & Durrer Clothiers, New York City 1956-1958 Top-selling salesman for small, upscale midtown clothing store Excelled at moving people in and out of clothing Created and devised print advertisements Honest Dick's Used Cars, Los Angeles, California 1953-1956 Used car salesman Military Service Lieutenant, US Army, Korean Conflict -- Awarded Purple Heart Education City College of New York, 1956-1958
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:05 |
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Oh sorry looks like I already applied.
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:06 |
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13 years of experience as a goon, give me job that pays 6 figures. Thanks!
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:14 |
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i made a funny post once never got to post it though, so i technically have no evidence
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:22 |
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I don't know what the gently caress you are talking about I mix every color in the wash and nothing bad has ever happened I just don't give a gently caress.
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:25 |
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Emplomynet History
Education
Compensation Expectations
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:25 |
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E: wrong thread
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:27 |
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additional requirements from lowtax: must be gay must unironically call for the destruction of israel must hail satan must have known
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:27 |
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Lowtax please let me live in your house with you for free and give me an allowance like you do with shmorky. I'm extremely quiet, clean, and polite, and will grow food from whatever patches of soil on your property that you aren't utilizing. For my resume, see my post history. Thank you for your consideration.
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:28 |
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Vynar posted:I don't know what the gently caress you are talking about I mix every color in the wash and nothing bad has ever happened I just don't give a gently caress. god mom shut UP about your bras my friends are here were trying to play risk now go AWAY!!!
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:28 |
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I put together a video resume https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLKnCeeAW48
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:29 |
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I choose not to communicate with other persons verbally (animals are ok), will this interfere with my hiring potential?
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:34 |
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how do ads even exist anymore? even if joe america is too dumb to have adblock like less than 1% of folks will intentionally click on a banner ad
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:34 |
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Looking for a goon that can pretend to be DocEvil and write for the front page
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:36 |
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cis white male posted:how do ads even exist anymore? even if joe america is too dumb to have adblock like less than 1% of folks will intentionally click on a banner ad 1% of america's population is over 3 million people
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 17:36 |
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I will make sure no Jew businesses do business on this site
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:06 |
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you irl posted:4.20/hr plus on fridays you get/have to wear a buttplug (shmorky joke)
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:08 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 11:50 |
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AirCav58 posted:I will make sure no Jew businesses do business on this site hire this man
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# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:09 |