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1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
I think dildo insurance is a scam. If you think I'm wrong, it's because you're wrong.

You don't need dildo insurance. Please stop buying it, maybe we can put them out of business.

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Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

go to the hospital

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
It got bigger, but more bruise like vs horror like. Although my whole arm hurts...

Dildo Malone
Sep 14, 2008


wrong op

ShaqDiesel
Mar 21, 2013
You need to bundle it with auto and homeowners OP.

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
I didn't have dildo insurance then somebody hotwired it, took it out for a spin and then set fire to it. Never again!

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
There is nothing as sexist as dildo insurance !

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
It's now free with Obamacare so I don't see the problem.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
phil conners i thought that was you

Machai
Feb 21, 2013

1gnoirents posted:

There is nothing as sexist as dildo insurance !

um sorry but(t) men can and do use dildos as well

not an endorsement
Mar 14, 2008


Personally, I think it's problematic that a sitting Senator has a racial slur for a last name.





Marta Velasquez
Mar 9, 2013

Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...
Fallen Rib
Regular medical insurance feels like a dildo up the rear end without lube. Dildo insurance must cause a prolapse just for signing the paperwork.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
skeletons are after moms dildos -r.l. stine

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

gary oldmans diary posted:

skeletons are after moms dildos -r.l. stine

not an endorsement
Mar 14, 2008


Personally, I think it's problematic that a sitting Senator has a racial slur for a last name.



balls in

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)

Machai posted:

um sorry but(t) men can and do use dildos as well

yea, i know, why is the premium 80% more

KaiserSchnitzel
Feb 23, 2003

Hey baby I think we Havel lot in common
The real question is whether your policy offers any or all of the following: guaranteed replacement cost; optional functional equivalent substitute coverage; no-fault liability coverage; or a fixed deductible.

Theft protection rider is standard, of course; but nevertheless double check the exceptions language for negligence provisions...the fine print always gets you with fly-by-night dildo insurance brokers.

you irl
Jan 22, 2014
florida mandates supplementary (pip) insurance for dildos even if you have medical which is stupid because last time i perforated my colon my medical covered it and i never even filed a claim on the dildo sooo why do they mandate a minimum amount of pip?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

what are "ubfs"?

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

redshirt posted:

what are "ubfs"?

It's a gas bubble.

lonelylikezoidberg
Dec 19, 2007
Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's human being Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag,
advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er . . . I dunno, `does what no other dildo can do until now', latest and
greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something,
for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for
twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's human being Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they
have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he
tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!

you irl
Jan 22, 2014

redshirt posted:

what are "ubfs"?

u bowel's hosed

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

by XyloJW
we shall all die and rot

Prettz
Sep 3, 2002

more like dildon'ts

bag em and tag em
Nov 4, 2008
I hear ya, I know a gal, let the dildo insurance man down easy. Told him she was fine without it. A week later some shady types show up and rough the dildo up good. A few days later as she's headed to the dildo insurance man's office to insure her newly repaired twat tickler, she sees the very goons who worked over her fake phallus coming out the door.

cis_eraser_420
Mar 1, 2013

redshirt posted:

what are "ubfs"?

Unidentified Butt Fuckers, obviously, whatcha think

they got that one bastard but there's still the other two

lonelylikezoidberg posted:

Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's human being Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag,
advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er . . . I dunno, `does what no other dildo can do until now', latest and
greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something,
for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for
twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's human being Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they
have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he
tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!

also this is what i was hoping to find in the op, 0/10 wouldn't read thread again

video version for y'all illiterates:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjj8eMNxivM

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Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

I insure all my dildoes all the time, I can't go longer than three days without breaking one of them in half inside of me during a furious masturbation session

when I do I grunt like a women's tennis player, super loudly

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