Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
My Q-Face
Jul 8, 2002

A dumb racist who need to kill themselves

ashgromnies posted:

it's more complicated than that, read a thread before posting in it, thanks

It's absolutely required that you get your facts right before posting in GBS!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

My Q-Face posted:

It's absolutely required that you get your facts right before posting in GBS!
hrm

Abandon
Nov 23, 2006
You can get a disturbing amount of mileage out of the idea that the old testament started as an oral tradition that originated from a visit by aliens. Genesis has got weird creatures living on the earth (who eventually all disappear) and mating with the locals. You've got really weird things coming out of the sky, and angels telling us that a certain number of people are going to be saved (because the ship is only so big). Imagine you were an alien race and you wanted to come and get some creatures from the earth to rescue them from some violent event coming their way that they're too primitive to even comprehend. But you're a galactic civilisation so the time it will take for your ship to actually arrive is on the scale of thousands of years, so you want to deliver a message to whoever is going to be around when you come back. You do it by picking the toughest looking tribe of savages around and

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

My Q-Face posted:

It's absolutely required that you get your facts right before posting in GBS!

Yeah, I got a [citation needed] once. Luckily I was able to provide the reference. But it was an I/P thing so I probably deserved it.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

Abandon posted:

You can get a disturbing amount of mileage out of the idea that the old testament started as an oral tradition that originated from a visit by aliens. Genesis has got weird creatures living on the earth (who eventually all disappear) and mating with the locals. You've got really weird things coming out of the sky, and angels telling us that a certain number of people are going to be saved (because the ship is only so big). Imagine you were an alien race and you wanted to come and get some creatures from the earth to rescue them from some violent event coming their way that they're too primitive to even comprehend. But you're a galactic civilisation so the time it will take for your ship to actually arrive is on the scale of thousands of years, so you want to deliver a message to whoever is going to be around when you come back. You do it by picking the toughest looking tribe of savages around and

its a cool idea and i'm pretty sure that erik daniken or something guy wrote a lot of stuff about that. i don't see how you could prove it one way or the other, though. unless i guess they came back and said "oh wow, yeah hey it's us from before uh you did what?"

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erich_von_D%C3%A4niken

i wonder why these hypothetical aliens would bother but i guess maybe it comes with the territory

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

lonesomedwarf posted:

its a cool idea and i'm pretty sure that erik daniken or something guy wrote a lot of stuff about that. i don't see how you could prove it one way or the other, though. unless i guess they came back and said "oh wow, yeah hey it's us from before uh you did what?"

Isn't that the plot of Prometheus? Anyway, movies about aliens creating people are slightly more entertaining than movies based on flawed King James Bible translations of stories about Moses or Jesus or Noah, so I'm going to go with the alien thing on that basis alone.

Kanthulhu
Apr 8, 2009
NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!


(Dany shits in a field)

monkey posted:

People saying "These guys have nothing to with the LaVey guys" need to check their facts.

Here is a good place to start: http://www.vice.com/read/unmasking-lucien-greaves-aka-doug-mesner-leader-of-the-satanic-temple

tldr they are based on the same proto-nazi source material, but Greaves filtered out even more of it to make it palatable for secular humanists.

I read all of that and understood pretty much the opposite of your tl;dr. While LaVey's Church of Satan was based on self glorification and hedonism, the Satanic Temple is based on altruism and protesting superstitious non-sense. It's not more filtered out, it's a different movement, much more mature and secular.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
I'm Satanic Curious.

twoday
May 4, 2005



C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Abandon posted:

You can get a disturbing amount of mileage out of the idea that the old testament started as an oral tradition that originated from a visit by aliens. Genesis has got weird creatures living on the earth (who eventually all disappear) and mating with the locals. You've got really weird things coming out of the sky, and angels telling us that a certain number of people are going to be saved (because the ship is only so big). Imagine you were an alien race and you wanted to come and get some creatures from the earth to rescue them from some violent event coming their way that they're too primitive to even comprehend. But you're a galactic civilisation so the time it will take for your ship to actually arrive is on the scale of thousands of years, so you want to deliver a message to whoever is going to be around when you come back. You do it by picking the toughest looking tribe of savages around and

The book of genesis is an allegory for the migration out of Africa and the changes undergone by the earth during the last ice age; the giants that copulate with humans are Neanderthals, as they were preserved in folk lore that was then solidified in the bible.

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬



Read this thread while listening to GHOST because they are awesome and this seems to be the same kinda vibe as their music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8RH8RO0eR0

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

IronClaymore posted:

Isn't that the plot of Prometheus? Anyway, movies about aliens creating people are slightly more entertaining than movies based on flawed King James Bible translations of stories about Moses or Jesus or Noah, so I'm going to go with the alien thing on that basis alone.

And the Vorlons/Shadows of Babylon 5, etc.

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

i would love to see a gritty movie about the real life of jesus* where he's essentially a magic man con artist shyster like the guys in india

*probably never actually existed irl

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

Kanthulhu posted:

The whole idea is to show the christians how annoying they are to others. If they taste their own poison maybe they will stop pushing their stupidity around so others stop doing the same to them.

lol read this again as if someone else wrote it and tell me if you think that person is naive as hell

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

Shadeoses posted:

Okay, imagine you're an angelic being who lives in heaven. You've spent the last infinite amount of years singing various hymns and praises, and know just about nothing else. Then you get a mission to go down to Earth. What do you do? What do humans have, what do they like? Well, they mostly have faces, eyes, limbs, wings, that sort of thing. They also like material things like wheels, fire, swords, gems, livestock and metals. So if you make those part of your appearance, they will pay more attention and your mission will be a success.

angels are shown in this passage to be basically god's heavenly machinery, any attribution of anthropomorphic nature to them is a misunderstanding; the angel guarding eden, for instance, is not well-differentiated from the sword which points in all directions; these angels are not well-differentiated from the chariot-throne they compose

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

IronClaymore posted:

Isn't that the plot of Prometheus? Anyway, movies about aliens creating people are slightly more entertaining than movies based on flawed King James Bible translations of stories about Moses or Jesus or Noah, so I'm going to go with the alien thing on that basis alone.

haha if you think translational flaws matter when it comes to the bible, only beauty and power are relevant

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

nomadologique posted:

angels are shown in this passage to be basically god's heavenly machinery, any attribution of anthropomorphic nature to them is a misunderstanding; the angel guarding eden, for instance, is not well-differentiated from the sword which points in all directions; these angels are not well-differentiated from the chariot-throne they compose

Interesting. Why is that and do you happen to have an anthropologist or biblical scholar reference for this interpretation that goes into more depth?

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

LifeSizePotato posted:

i would love to see a gritty movie about the real life of jesus* where he's essentially a magic man con artist shyster like the guys in india

*probably never actually existed irl

pretty much every historian agrees that he did exist

Genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!

Total Clam
Angels must have been scary looking (Like the pictures in this thread, rather than dudes-with-wings), because every time they appear to humans, the first words they utter is something along the lines of "Don't freak out, I'm just an angel!"

Also, Satan has a theme song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcsgCqGZZj8

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
dudes with wings were usually just pictures of rich dudes given wings to look awesome hundreds of years after the bible was written.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

L. Ron Hubbard was into LOLMAJICKS and cucked the poo poo out of the founder of JPL. Look at this loving cucked-rear end nerd: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Parsons_(rocket_engineer)

Last Buffalo
Nov 7, 2011

Cream_Filling posted:

pretty much every historian agrees that he did exist

Not really. There's not a great amount of proof that he was ever a real person, certainly nothing from his lifetime. That said, there's not really much proof that Muhammad or Socrates walked the earth either. It's very plausible that Jesus did not exist, and given that the majority of Western historians have been Christ-believing Christians, saying "most historians have always accepted it" doesn't really do the idea justice.

Last Buffalo fucked around with this message at 06:18 on Sep 19, 2014

Pre-Cambrian Syndrome
Jan 6, 2006

Cream_Filling posted:

pretty much every historian agrees that he did exist

lol no

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

Cream_Filling posted:

pretty much every historian agrees that he did exist

there are also extremely compelling arguments that he didn't

http://rationalrevolution.net/articles/jesus_myth_history.htm

http://www.rationalrevolution.net/articles/jesus_myth_followup.htm

(these are pro-reads for anyone actually interested, i've read them both a few times in their entirety over the years)

Last Buffalo
Nov 7, 2011
Jesus of Nazareth, the one Jew that Cream_Filling will defend.

naem
May 29, 2011

Shadeoses posted:

Okay, imagine you're an angelic being who lives in heaven. You've spent the last infinite amount of years singing various hymns and praises, and know just about nothing else. Then you get a mission to go down to Earth. What do you do? What do humans have, what do they like? Well, they mostly have faces, eyes, limbs, wings, that sort of thing. They also like material things like wheels, fire, swords, gems, livestock and metals. So if you make those part of your appearance, they will pay more attention and your mission will be a success.

It seems like jamming all those things together haphazardly would be counterproductive

I mean I like big boobies, ice cream, dogs, Sapporo brand Japanese malt liquor and jeep wranglers, but if a big titted jeep wrangler bodied icecream beer dog lady fell from the sky one day I'd poo poo my loving pants nah say'n

Troll Bridgington
Dec 22, 2011

Keeping up foreign relations.

jesus did exist and he was a gay black person hth

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

naem posted:

big titted jeep wrangler bodied icecream beer dog lady

:vince:

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

LifeSizePotato posted:

there are also extremely compelling arguments that he didn't

http://rationalrevolution.net/articles/jesus_myth_history.htm

http://www.rationalrevolution.net/articles/jesus_myth_followup.htm

(these are pro-reads for anyone actually interested, i've read them both a few times in their entirety over the years)

Yrah im not reading that but

Trap sprung i guess

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Cream_Filling posted:

Yrah im not reading that but

Trap sprung i guess

says teh jesus lover with the worst av since all of moobs' avs.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

fyodor posted:

says teh jesus lover with the worst av since all of moobs' avs.

Lol all i ever do is point out raally boring mainstream consensus beccause goons are super ignorant of normal scholarship versus millions of words from some internet sperg on rationalist revilution dot com

Abandon
Nov 23, 2006
time to read a site called "rational revolution" :frogbon:

efb

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Troll Bridgington posted:

jesus did exist and he was a gay black person hth

Kanthulhu
Apr 8, 2009
NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!


(Dany shits in a field)
There were for sure a lot of people called "Jesus" on that area on that time. Or Yeoshua or whatever the equivalent to Jesus in hebrew is.

The thing is: was any of them the Jesus from the bible that would walk on water and raise the dead? No, of course not.

Gum
Mar 9, 2008

oho, a rapist
time to try this puppy out

Troll Bridgington posted:

jesus did exist and he was a gay black person hth

i have no idea what you're talking about

Mark 14 posted:

43Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders.

44Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard.” 45Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. 46The men seized Jesus and arrested him. 47Then one of those standing near drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

48“Am I leading a rebellion,” said Jesus, “that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? 49Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled.” 50Then everyone deserted him and fled.

51A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, 52he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
im pretty sure Jesus was a very aryan man with decent american sensibilities and morals

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Gum posted:

51A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, 52he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.

53Also a clown was there 54Honk honk, the clown said to Jesus' followers 55And he too fled, his shoes squeaking along

Talas
Aug 27, 2005

Cubone posted:

53Also a clown was there 54Honk honk, the clown said to Jesus' followers 55And he too fled, his shoes squeaking along
I would buy that bible.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

nomadologique posted:

angels are shown in this passage to be basically god's heavenly machinery, any attribution of anthropomorphic nature to them is a misunderstanding; the angel guarding eden, for instance, is not well-differentiated from the sword which points in all directions; these angels are not well-differentiated from the chariot-throne they compose

So basically, Yahweh is a deity with an army of non-humanoid robots

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

I Love Loosies
Jan 4, 2013


Cubone posted:

53Also a clown was there 54Honk honk, the clown said to Jesus' followers 55And he too fled, his shoes squeaking along

  • Locked thread