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PuTTY riot
Nov 16, 2002
forgive me

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PuTTY riot
Nov 16, 2002
for all have fallen short of the glory of god

A Wheezy Steampunk
Jul 16, 2006

High School Grads Eligible!

echinopsis posted:

well 10 years ago at least, when striped ties were in fahfsion

striped ties are perpetually in fashion and they are a very classic look

PuTTY riot
Nov 16, 2002

A Wheezy Steampunk posted:

striped ties are perpetually in fashion and they are a very classic look

mlmp

Silver Alicorn
Mar 30, 2008

𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮
John 2:19

Jesus answered and said unto them, Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.

duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

Silver Alicorn posted:

John 2:19

Jesus answered and said unto them, Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.

if the body is the temple then this is one hell of apickup line

Fart.Bleed.Repeat.
Sep 29, 2001

New International Version
I will carry out great vengeance on them and punish them in my wrath. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I take vengeance on them.'"

New Living Translation
I will execute terrible vengeance against them to punish them for what they have done. And when I have inflicted my revenge, they will know that I am the LORD."

English Standard Version
I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon them.”

New American Standard Bible
"I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes; and they will know that I am the LORD when I lay My vengeance on them."'"

King James Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
I will execute great vengeance against them with furious rebukes. They will know that I am Yahweh when I take My vengeance on them."

International Standard Version
I'll take vengeance on them, punishing them severely in my anger. They'll know that I am the LORD when I take my vengeance on them."'"

NET Bible
I will exact great vengeance upon them with angry rebukes. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I exact my vengeance upon them.'"

GOD'S WORD® Translation
I will take fierce revenge on them and punish them with fury. I will take revenge on them. Then they will know that I am the LORD.'"

Jubilee Bible 2000
And I will execute great vengeance in them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD when I shall give my vengeance in them.

King James 2000 Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

American King James Version
And I will execute great vengeance on them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance on them.

American Standard Version
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with wrathful rebukes; and they shall know that I am Jehovah, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Douay-Rheims Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them, rebuking them in fury: and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Darby Bible Translation
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I [am] Jehovah, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

English Revised Version
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Webster's Bible Translation
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

World English Bible
I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes; and they shall know that I am Yahweh, when I shall lay my vengeance on them.

Young's Literal Translation
And done upon them great vengeance with furious reproofs, And they have known that I am Jehovah, In My giving out My vengeance on them!

Fax Sender
Aug 11, 2013

kiss my ass
i got my finger stabbed to the bone with the sharp end of a guitar string the other day and i did indeed call upon the lord at least twice

Socracheese
Oct 20, 2008

2 Kings 2:23-25 posted:

23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!” 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number.

duTrieux.
Oct 9, 2003

Ruby got Railed posted:

New International Version
I will carry out great vengeance on them and punish them in my wrath. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I take vengeance on them.'"

New Living Translation
I will execute terrible vengeance against them to punish them for what they have done. And when I have inflicted my revenge, they will know that I am the LORD."

English Standard Version
I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon them.”

New American Standard Bible
"I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes; and they will know that I am the LORD when I lay My vengeance on them."'"

King James Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
I will execute great vengeance against them with furious rebukes. They will know that I am Yahweh when I take My vengeance on them."

International Standard Version
I'll take vengeance on them, punishing them severely in my anger. They'll know that I am the LORD when I take my vengeance on them."'"

NET Bible
I will exact great vengeance upon them with angry rebukes. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I exact my vengeance upon them.'"

GOD'S WORD® Translation
I will take fierce revenge on them and punish them with fury. I will take revenge on them. Then they will know that I am the LORD.'"

Jubilee Bible 2000
And I will execute great vengeance in them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD when I shall give my vengeance in them.

King James 2000 Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

American King James Version
And I will execute great vengeance on them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance on them.

American Standard Version
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with wrathful rebukes; and they shall know that I am Jehovah, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Douay-Rheims Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them, rebuking them in fury: and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Darby Bible Translation
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I [am] Jehovah, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

English Revised Version
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Webster's Bible Translation
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

World English Bible
I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes; and they shall know that I am Yahweh, when I shall lay my vengeance on them.

Young's Literal Translation
And done upon them great vengeance with furious reproofs, And they have known that I am Jehovah, In My giving out My vengeance on them!

doesn't include the best bible (new oxford annotated w/ apocrypha, 4th ed.)

PuTTY riot
Nov 16, 2002
so is the apocrypha an academic thing cause ive only ever seen it used or referenced in a classroom setting.

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands

College Slice

PuTTY riot posted:

so is the apocrypha an academic thing cause ive only ever seen it used or referenced in a classroom setting.

it is only apocryphal to proddies, it is part of the catholic bible

Abandon
Nov 23, 2006
the apocrypha is the part of the OT that protestants don't think is legit because it's not in the hebrew canon, or something. the new testament references books of the apocrypha, probably because the current OT at the time was the septuagint which has those books in it. catholics and orthodox just treat them as part of the bible, and i'm pretty sure that anglicans have got them in the lectionary so read from them in services and consider them "worthy of reading" or thereabouts

PuTTY riot
Nov 16, 2002
welp didnt grow up catholic that would explain it

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
catholics straddle the line btween saved and heathen

Vincent K. McMahon
Sep 13, 2014

by Ralp

echinopsis posted:

catholics straddle the line btween saved and heathen

the line also happens to pass over my dilz

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
obligatory

Ezekiel 23:20 - New International Version posted:

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

that tetris guy
Mar 7, 2005

It's a sad thing that your adventures have ended here!!

Ruby got Railed posted:

New International Version
I will carry out great vengeance on them and punish them in my wrath. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I take vengeance on them.'"

New Living Translation
I will execute terrible vengeance against them to punish them for what they have done. And when I have inflicted my revenge, they will know that I am the LORD."

English Standard Version
I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon them.”

New American Standard Bible
"I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes; and they will know that I am the LORD when I lay My vengeance on them."'"

King James Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
I will execute great vengeance against them with furious rebukes. They will know that I am Yahweh when I take My vengeance on them."

International Standard Version
I'll take vengeance on them, punishing them severely in my anger. They'll know that I am the LORD when I take my vengeance on them."'"

NET Bible
I will exact great vengeance upon them with angry rebukes. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I exact my vengeance upon them.'"

GOD'S WORD® Translation
I will take fierce revenge on them and punish them with fury. I will take revenge on them. Then they will know that I am the LORD.'"

Jubilee Bible 2000
And I will execute great vengeance in them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD when I shall give my vengeance in them.

King James 2000 Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

American King James Version
And I will execute great vengeance on them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance on them.

American Standard Version
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with wrathful rebukes; and they shall know that I am Jehovah, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Douay-Rheims Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them, rebuking them in fury: and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Darby Bible Translation
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I [am] Jehovah, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

English Revised Version
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Webster's Bible Translation
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

World English Bible
I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes; and they shall know that I am Yahweh, when I shall lay my vengeance on them.

Young's Literal Translation
And done upon them great vengeance with furious reproofs, And they have known that I am Jehovah, In My giving out My vengeance on them!

king james only!!!!

Moo Cowabunga
Jun 15, 2009

[Office Worker.




CU T MY LIFE INTO PIECE S

Skarp
Sep 27, 2013

parents forced me to go to christian private elementary school and it really hosed me up for a long time

although im probably still alive today only cause i remember asking a teacher if i'd go to hell if i killed myself and she said yes and i didnt want to go to hell so welp thats my story

Dr. Honked
Jan 9, 2011

eat it you slaaaaaaag
she lied

now what you gonna do

Vintersorg
Mar 3, 2004

President of
the Brendan Fraser
Fan Club



yo god sucks

lol

smite my dick ya bitch

Skarp
Sep 27, 2013

Dr. Honked posted:

she lied

now what you gonna do

honked again :ohdear:

CISADMIN PRIVILEGE
Aug 15, 2004

optimized multichannel
campaigns to drive
demand and increase
brand engagement
across web, mobile,
and social touchpoints,
bitch!
:yaycloud::smithcloud:
i went to southern baptist and seventh day adventist missionary schools in micronesia from the age of 8 till 12 they were retarded to evil. I also went episcopal private school on maui for grade 9/10 but no one cared about the religion part really though we did have a dumbass service once a week.

Vincent K. McMahon
Sep 13, 2014

by Ralp

CISADMIN PRIVILEGE posted:

i went to southern baptist and seventh day adventist missionary schools in micronesia from the age of 8 till 12 they were retarded to evil. I also went episcopal private school on maui for grade 9/10 but no one cared about the religion part really though we did have a dumbass service once a week.

the girl im seeing now belongs to a baptist church lol

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

CISADMIN PRIVILEGE posted:

i went to southern baptist and seventh day adventist missionary schools in micronesia from the age of 8 till 12 they were retarded to evil. I also went episcopal private school on maui for grade 9/10 but no one cared about the religion part really though we did have a dumbass service once a week.

i got kicked out of public middle school for grade 7 and had to go to a private fundy one

we had an assembly so we could hear george h.w. bush's day of prayer prayer

Matthew 6:5 posted:

New International Version
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

New Living Translation
"When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get.

English Standard Version
“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.

New American Standard Bible
"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.

King James Bible
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
"Whenever you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by people. I assure you: They've got their reward!

International Standard Version
"And whenever you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to stand in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they will be seen by people. I tell all of you with certainty, they have their full reward!

NET Bible
"Whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray while standing in synagogues and on street corners so that people can see them. Truly I say to you, they have their reward.

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
And when you pray, be not like the pretenders who like to stand in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets to pray, that they may be seen by the children of men, and truly I say to you, they have received their reward.

GOD'S WORD® Translation
"When you pray, don't be like hypocrites. They like to stand in synagogues and on street corners to pray so that everyone can see them. I can guarantee this truth: That will be their only reward.

Jubilee Bible 2000
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They already have their reward.

King James 2000 Bible
And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

American King James Version
And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward.

American Standard Version
And when ye pray, ye shall not be as the hypocrites: for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have received their reward.

Douay-Rheims Bible
And when ye pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, that love to stand and pray in the synagogues and corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men: Amen I say to you, they have received their reward.

Darby Bible Translation
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites; for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets so that they should appear to men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

English Revised Version
And when ye pray, ye shall not be as the hypocrites: for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have received their reward.

Webster's Bible Translation
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues, and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Verily, I say to you, they have their reward.

Weymouth New Testament
"And when praying, you must not be like the hypocrites. They are fond of standing and praying in the synagogues or at the corners of the wider streets, in order that men may see them. I solemnly tell you that they already have their reward.

World English Bible
"When you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Most certainly, I tell you, they have received their reward.

Young's Literal Translation
'And when thou mayest pray, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites, because they love in the synagogues, and in the corners of the broad places -- standing -- to pray, that they may be seen of men; verily I say to you, that they have their reward.

tl;dr: keep it to yourselves ffs, it's right there in your holy book

Sniep
Mar 28, 2004

All I needed was that fatty blunt...



King of Breakfast

Ruby got Railed posted:

Douay-Rheims Bible
And I will execute great vengeance upon them, rebuking them in fury: and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

the gently caress is this "fury: and they" poo poo

A Pinball Wizard
Mar 23, 2005

I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands

College Slice

syscall girl posted:

i got kicked out of public middle school for grade 7

:eyepop:

Moo Cowabunga
Jun 15, 2009

[Office Worker.




i went to a bilingual school where i had to speak both English and Maori despite my skin being the pastiest shade of white

we said the lords prayer and grace in Maori at school. thats about it.

Moo Cowabunga
Jun 15, 2009

[Office Worker.




they made me go out on the front line when it was time for kapa haka. my white chest would be red raw at the end from all the haka i did and the Maori parents laughed supportingly at me as I did a haka

but they would not allow me to join the iwi because I have no Maori blood. therefore my whakapapa is based on Ngati Pakeha. Discrimination of the highest order.

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

Displeased Moo Cow posted:

they made me go out on the front line when it was time for kapa haka. my white chest would be red raw at the end from all the haka i did and the Maori parents laughed supportingly at me as I did a haka

but they would not allow me to join the iwi because I have no Maori blood. therefore my whakapapa is based on Ngati Pakeha. Discrimination of the highest order.

Once Were Shitposters

Moo Cowabunga
Jun 15, 2009

[Office Worker.




kia ora

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
I got kicked out of church when I was 17 or so for drink and kissing girls


such jesus

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

echinopsis posted:

I got kicked out of church when I was 17 or so for drink and kissing girls


such jesus

takes me back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYr6u-VXodk

bobbilljim
May 29, 2013

this christmas feels like the very first christmas to me
:shittydog::shittydog::shittydog:
james 2:19 - yospos, bitch

bobbilljim
May 29, 2013

this christmas feels like the very first christmas to me
:shittydog::shittydog::shittydog:

Displeased Moo Cow posted:

they made me go out on the front line when it was time for kapa haka. my white chest would be red raw at the end from all the haka i did and the Maori parents laughed supportingly at me as I did a haka

but they would not allow me to join the iwi because I have no Maori blood. therefore my whakapapa is based on Ngati Pakeha. Discrimination of the highest order.

kia kaha bro

Moo Cowabunga
Jun 15, 2009

[Office Worker.




Kia ora e hoa

Abandon
Nov 23, 2006
my primary school was interesting because i kind of witnessed the death of anglicanism in mainstream british society
when i was about 6 we had prayers and dodgy tapes in assembly telling these grim stories about people getting stoned and suchlike, but by the time i was 9 we didn't pray any more, we just had to "reflect" on things instead. i remember a lot of the kids didn't quite get the difference and did the praying thing with their hands anyway. songs in assembly started off as the bbc "come and praise" hymn book, then we switched to trashy stuff like kum ba yah and shine jesus shine, then they just disappeared altogether

i bet the kids these days don't even know what the gently caress a christingle is

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

Abandon posted:

my primary school was interesting because i kind of witnessed the death of anglicanism in mainstream british society
when i was about 6 we had prayers and dodgy tapes in assembly telling these grim stories about people getting stoned and suchlike, but by the time i was 9 we didn't pray any more, we just had to "reflect" on things instead. i remember a lot of the kids didn't quite get the difference and did the praying thing with their hands anyway. songs in assembly started off as the bbc "come and praise" hymn book, then we switched to trashy stuff like kum ba yah and shine jesus shine, then they just disappeared altogether

i bet the kids these days don't even know what the gently caress a christingle is

is that when the bishop tickles you in the rectory?

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qntm
Jun 17, 2009

bobbilljim posted:

james 2:19 - yospos, bitch

quote:

You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

james

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