CHRIST

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syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

obligatory

Ezekiel 23:20 - New International Version posted:

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2014 21:30

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 00:01

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

CISADMIN PRIVILEGE posted:

i went to southern baptist and seventh day adventist missionary schools in micronesia from the age of 8 till 12 they were retarded to evil. I also went episcopal private school on maui for grade 9/10 but no one cared about the religion part really though we did have a dumbass service once a week.

i got kicked out of public middle school for grade 7 and had to go to a private fundy one

we had an assembly so we could hear george h.w. bush's day of prayer prayer

Matthew 6:5 posted:

New International Version
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

New Living Translation
"When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get.

English Standard Version
�And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.

New American Standard Bible
"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.

King James Bible
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
"Whenever you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by people. I assure you: They've got their reward!

International Standard Version
"And whenever you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to stand in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they will be seen by people. I tell all of you with certainty, they have their full reward!

NET Bible
"Whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray while standing in synagogues and on street corners so that people can see them. Truly I say to you, they have their reward.

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
And when you pray, be not like the pretenders who like to stand in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets to pray, that they may be seen by the children of men, and truly I say to you, they have received their reward.

GOD'S WORD� Translation
"When you pray, don't be like hypocrites. They like to stand in synagogues and on street corners to pray so that everyone can see them. I can guarantee this truth: That will be their only reward.

Jubilee Bible 2000
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They already have their reward.

King James 2000 Bible
And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

American King James Version
And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward.

American Standard Version
And when ye pray, ye shall not be as the hypocrites: for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have received their reward.

Douay-Rheims Bible
And when ye pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, that love to stand and pray in the synagogues and corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men: Amen I say to you, they have received their reward.

Darby Bible Translation
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites; for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets so that they should appear to men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

English Revised Version
And when ye pray, ye shall not be as the hypocrites: for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have received their reward.

Webster's Bible Translation
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues, and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Verily, I say to you, they have their reward.

Weymouth New Testament
"And when praying, you must not be like the hypocrites. They are fond of standing and praying in the synagogues or at the corners of the wider streets, in order that men may see them. I solemnly tell you that they already have their reward.

World English Bible
"When you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Most certainly, I tell you, they have received their reward.

Young's Literal Translation
'And when thou mayest pray, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites, because they love in the synagogues, and in the corners of the broad places -- standing -- to pray, that they may be seen of men; verily I say to you, that they have their reward.

tl;dr: keep it to yourselves ffs, it's right there in your holy book

# ¿ Sep 19, 2014 00:31

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Displeased Moo Cow posted:

they made me go out on the front line when it was time for kapa haka. my white chest would be red raw at the end from all the haka i did and the Maori parents laughed supportingly at me as I did a haka

but they would not allow me to join the iwi because I have no Maori blood. therefore my whakapapa is based on Ngati Pakeha. Discrimination of the highest order.

Once Were Shitposters

# ¿ Sep 19, 2014 02:02

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

echinopsis posted:

I got kicked out of church when I was 17 or so for drink and kissing girls

such jesus

takes me back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYr6u-VXodk

# ¿ Sep 19, 2014 02:14

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Abandon posted:

my primary school was interesting because i kind of witnessed the death of anglicanism in mainstream british society
when i was about 6 we had prayers and dodgy tapes in assembly telling these grim stories about people getting stoned and suchlike, but by the time i was 9 we didn't pray any more, we just had to "reflect" on things instead. i remember a lot of the kids didn't quite get the difference and did the praying thing with their hands anyway. songs in assembly started off as the bbc "come and praise" hymn book, then we switched to trashy stuff like kum ba yah and shine jesus shine, then they just disappeared altogether

i bet the kids these days don't even know what the gently caress a christingle is

is that when the bishop tickles you in the rectory?

# ¿ Sep 19, 2014 18:23

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

prefect posted:

if you were persuaded by a cute girl, it can be forgiven

i got talked into going to a preachy summer camp by the cute blond girl next door

they had a big rear end zipline that went from a forested hill down into a lake and a nice pool and horseback riding and it was all free

the next year i learned that if i wanted to go back for free i had to talk 10(?) other kids into going and realized why she'd invited me

# ¿ Sep 19, 2014 23:38

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

PuTTY riot posted:

kanakuk?

naw it was in oregon

CISADMIN PRIVILEGE posted:

did you get lucky?

the closest i got was getting a girl to sit on my pimply shoulders so we could chicken fight another couple

# ¿ Sep 19, 2014 23:44

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Cazlab posted:

also a girl with us had severe paranoid schizophrenia and everyone around her intrepreted her hallucinations as actual visions of real, truly present, demons, and my concern was met with hostility.

yeah my parents went to some super elite bible study where you could meet a guy who saw demons, or something back in the 80s

spiritual warfare ftw

# ¿ Sep 20, 2014 04:27

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

A Pinball Wizard posted:

when i was in high school one of my friends asked me if i wanted to be in the LUNCHTIME PRAYER CIRCLE she was starting because KIDS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO PRAY AT SCHOOL and i joined and we all stood in a circle and prayed at lunchtime and i think it lasted maybe a month before we figured out wed always been allowed to pray at school and nobody gave a poo poo

then i discovered feminism and politics and it was all over

my art teacher ran one of these in 1995

no one got mad or complained or gave a poo poo

probably all the prayers against getting persecuted like they do protected them

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 00:38

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

quality christ snype

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 02:06

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

WJDK

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 02:21

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Cold on a Cob posted:

it started out as a persecution complex on behalf of the christians getting executed by isis and kinda snowballed and then i muted him on facebook

well what does he think about all the muslims getting executed by isis?

and theh agnostic/atheist types

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 02:48

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

theadder posted:

u have to ask??

somewhere there is a woman who every time she sees the burger king mascot bursts in to tears

'i don't have two vaginas i don't have two vaginas i don't have two vaginas'

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 00:39

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 00:01

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

enjoy your lake of fire heathens

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 18:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > CHRIST