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BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
I have a healthy libido and like to get off at least twice a day. Lately ive been having this problem where when I ejaculate my left testicle retracts up into my abdomen. It doesn't happen every time and it usually slowly recedes back into position but sometimes I have to manually work it back in and its incredibly painful

is this a common problem

am I going to die?

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unlimited shrimp
Aug 30, 2008
yes.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
yes

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!
Yes. Make out a will.

texasmed
May 27, 2004
no

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax
Pics or it didn't happen.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
no its not common or no im not going to die

unlimited shrimp
Aug 30, 2008
no its not common but yes you're going to die

sorry op

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

A) A sorcerer is stealing your penis but is still a bit of a newbie so he's starting with just that testicle.

B) You're becoming a woman. Enjoy your periods, bitch.

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien
Your testicle is trying to become an ovary. Embrace it. You are becoming the superior sex

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?
my left gonad's gone and left me

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
to be fair I don't need them any more

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
You're already dead, in here with us.

XK
Jul 9, 2001

Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

That's pretty much what they're supposed to do, but if it's actually going up into your abdomen read this:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/retractile-testicle/basics/causes/con-20024856

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


better consult The Goon Doctor subforum op

Wooten
Oct 4, 2004

It means you are a woman.

SmokaDustbowl
Feb 12, 2001

by vyelkin
Fun Shoe
that's just your testicle reloading for the next volley

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
cinch the top of your nutsack closed with a ziptie, problem solved no need to thank me

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
I would go to a doctor but I don't have the time for that poo poo

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

mookface posted:

I would go to a doctor but I don't have the time for that poo poo
it might be testicle torsion so you should probably actually find time

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

a hole-y ghost posted:

it might be testicle torsion so you should probably actually find time

maybe he could look at my rear end in a top hat that occasionally bleeds

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
ziptie it shut

Republican Vampire
Jun 2, 2007

Basically it sounds like your real problem is your right testicle, which ought to be retracting along with its brother.

I hate to be the one to break the bad news, but lazy ball is generally related to tissue death. Try punching yourself in the balls to see if the right one doesn't hurt.

Failing that, just punch yourself in the balls because you're stupid and no one loves you.

SmokaDustbowl
Feb 12, 2001

by vyelkin
Fun Shoe

mookface posted:

maybe he could look at my rear end in a top hat that occasionally bleeds

I will look at your rear end in a top hat e-mail me at trunks1992@hotmail.com

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

is this from masturbation or sex with a real human person?

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

also nut up and shut up

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Republican Vampire posted:

Basically it sounds like your real problem is your right testicle, which ought to be retracting along with its brother.

I hate to be the one to break the bad news, but lazy ball is generally related to tissue death. Try punching yourself in the balls to see if the right one doesn't hurt.

Failing that, just punch yourself in the balls because you're stupid and no one loves you.

sounds a little unorthodox but at this point I'll try anything

Noblesse Obliged posted:

is this from masturbation or sex with a real human person?

Both

Republican Vampire
Jun 2, 2007

mookface posted:

sounds a little unorthodox but at this point I'll try anything

Basically once your scrote is the consistency of ground beef you're reached level two and will probably be able to pass through closed doors by yanking the joystick down twice.

twit666
Nov 16, 2006

Soiled Meat
What's your inseam?

twit666
Nov 16, 2006

Soiled Meat
This could merely be a case of poor tailoring.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

actually humans used to have the ability to retract genitals but that ability was slowly phased out as we got less hairy and started wearing clothes. rock on brother.


you will die tomorrow

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
I don't have any medical advice, I just wanted to post my well wishes for your errant testicle.

Shuffle
Feb 3, 2011

DEA Sloth!
No Fast Movements!
text me, I'll get that bugger outta there

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice

mookface posted:

no its not common or no im not going to die

yes

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

twit666 posted:

What's your inseam?

32

XK
Jul 9, 2001

Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

a hole-y ghost posted:

it might be testicle torsion so you should probably actually find time

I saw a story once where a teenager was staying over at a friend's house, and his friend thought it would be funny to do that wrestling move where you come up behind someone, stick your arm between their legs, and slam your arm up into their crotch. Later that night he woke up in excruciating pain and they rushed him to the hospital. He had torsion in both testicles and they had to be removed. In the later lawsuit where the victim's family was trying to get money out of the other family's insurance, the court ruled the insurance didn't have to cover it because the act was intentional. Sucks for him. I hope he has some good revenge plans cooked up.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

but yeah if you happen to be talking to a doctor just casually ask if he knows how to check for testicle torsion and slip his hand into your pants

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
Hey OP, ive got an option for you.

Go talk to a doctor.

Corey Plumper
Nov 22, 2008

Maybe take a break for a while OP

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Prettz
Sep 3, 2002

I'm not gonna lie, I've definitely had testicle problems. One time I got my mom to drive me to a doctor's office in the middle of the night because of one (by one I mean a testicle problem), and it was pretty drat embarrassing. (I don't think the nurse had ever seen circumcised penis before :eek:). Turned out to be totally stress related, because I had a huge assignment in 11th grade history due and I had a few hours to craft my essay. Stress can do insane things to your body that you thought it had no power over.

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