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Stoic Commie posted:i heard he made a donut force-feeding machine like from the simpsons and killed a guy with it by dropping it on him I heard he shaved a man and glued hot-wheels cars all over his body and then threw him down a bob-sled run and then had the north korean bobsleigh team chase after him in a giant bobsled covered in scorpions.
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Sep 27, 2014 00:05
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Sep 27, 2014 00:22
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Probably ate some north korean produce and died of arsenic and lead poisoning because their soil quality is atrocious.
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Sep 27, 2014 00:23
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he just had the runs is ok
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Sep 27, 2014 00:25
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Stay safe Kim Jong ghost
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Sep 27, 2014 00:41
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Maybe he actually has... ebola 
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Sep 27, 2014 00:47
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why would the cia kill kim jong un, absolutely nobody wants to deal with an entire nation of starving, brainwashed koreans
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Sep 27, 2014 00:48
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it's cool how norks are exported for slave labor to siberia or locked away in concentration camps with no release until three generations of your family have been born and died in the camp and nobody cares lol
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Sep 27, 2014 00:49
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The Mad Archivist posted:Maybe he actually has... ebola Its obviously Pullonium poisoning. He offed China's man in NK a few months back; China got even during a time when US attention is elsewhere and Russia busy fighting proxywar in Ukraine. E Business Gorillas posted:why would the cia kill kim jong un, absolutely nobody wants to deal with an entire nation of starving, brainwashed koreans While true, if any nation did deal with an entire nation of starving, brainwashed koreans, I'm gonna guess itd be the entire nation of brainwashed, lovely car koreans next door. And nows the perfect time for a power play in NK: Worst-case NK state collapse, you drive a wedge between SK and US.
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Sep 27, 2014 00:51
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Ambrose Burnside posted:nah, just like he didnt execute his ex-wife via being torn apart by dogs or whatever lurid poo poo was being uncritically reported as news for a couple days before being walked back. the dprk is exceedingly weird but external media coverage of the place is just a hair above oldschool yellow journalism this is literally yellow journalism
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Sep 27, 2014 00:55
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I hope he loving dies.
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Sep 27, 2014 01:03
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he's prob really strung out from constantly doing a gently caress ton of hard drugs, drinking Hennessey all day, and generally living like an asian Caligula.
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Sep 27, 2014 01:12
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China only puts up with North Korea's poo poo because they make a good buffer between them and our military presence in South Korea, and because they don't want millions of starving North Koreans fleeing across the northern border into China, so it would be interesting to see what they'd do if the country collapsed into a prolonged power struggle. My guess is China would quietly lend overwhelming support to whichever side they think they can best keep under their thumb so they can maintain the status quo, except maybe without so many "we're so totally gonna nuke you this time, we mean it!" threats to other world powers that draw too much attention.
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Sep 27, 2014 01:43
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I would prefer he not die or get overthrown in a coup. If he's replaced it's unclear by who that would be. Probably someone from the military. Whoever it would be they would probably have to sink a ROK ship or do something equally dumb to demonstrate what a hardass they are. I'm relatively sure the South would retaliate this time.
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Sep 27, 2014 01:58
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Ambrose Burnside posted:the dprk "Please show proper respect to this literal Hellhole by referring to it by its full name of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea instead of treating it like Saturday morning cartoon villains even though they really do act that way"
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Sep 27, 2014 02:12
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Yaldabaoth posted:"Please show proper respect to this literal Hellhole by referring to it by its full name of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea instead of treating it like Saturday morning cartoon villains even though they really do act that way" I'll meet you halfway and pronounce it Deepark
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Sep 27, 2014 02:14
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Drone_Fragger posted:Probably ate some north korean produce and died of arsenic and lead poisoning because their soil quality is atrocious. that's chinese produce. "north korean produce" must be a euphemism for something because there isn't actually any food in north korea
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Sep 27, 2014 02:15
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icantfindaname posted:that's chinese produce. "north korean produce" must be a euphemism for something because there isn't actually any food in north korea There is, however, a shitload of weed.
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Sep 27, 2014 02:19
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I thought this thread was going to be about how dope he is
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Sep 27, 2014 02:21
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Tipps posted:So when he dies what will happen? Will they just stuff him and pull him around on strings and tell people he's alive? Or will they find the nearest short chubby north Korean child and say that it's his son who has been conveniently kept hidden out of the public eye? Lol a chubby north Korean child
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Sep 27, 2014 02:27
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They'll find some random kid and proclaim him the new leader, Kim Young'un
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Sep 27, 2014 02:34
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if i were the puppet figurehead of the state of North Korea, I would drink,drug, and eat myself to death too.
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Sep 27, 2014 02:56
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I had such high hopes for K.J.U. but I guess he's content to pound cheese down his throat with a potato masher while his uncle's mercenaries fight the Army for primo crabcatchin' turf. This poo poo is better than Downton Abbey
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Sep 27, 2014 03:33
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Kanthulhu posted:I hope he loving dies. really rude thing to say about a successful leader of a nation
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Sep 27, 2014 03:35
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Tujague posted:I had such high hopes for K.J.U. but I guess he's content to pound cheese down his throat with a potato masher while his uncle's mercenaries fight the Army for primo crabcatchin' turf. but is it better than game of thrones
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Sep 27, 2014 03:43
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Frostwerks posted:but is it better than game of thrones i havent seen like ANY dprk titties so no
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Sep 27, 2014 03:44
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Moola posted:good
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Sep 27, 2014 03:45
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Guess what they say is true... it ain't easy being cheesy
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Sep 27, 2014 03:50
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I'm just happy that love of cheese will have geopolitical repercussions. It kinda makes me hope he'll cheese himself to death and spark WW3 in the collapse so that all the history textbooks will have to talk about how cheese basically ruined the world and brought on nuclear winter.
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Sep 27, 2014 06:08
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kim jong unwell
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Sep 27, 2014 06:10
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Actually I'm doing fine, but I appreciate everyone's concern for my health.
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Sep 27, 2014 06:33
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Right now Kim Jong Un is rolling around in agony on his bed from the debilitating gout pain, and executing each doctor that comes in to say he can't subsist entirely off of Funyuns.
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Sep 27, 2014 07:27
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my brother has gout so i feel for kju if thats the case my brother is also 21 so i dunno what his deal is hes not even fat
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Sep 27, 2014 07:28
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Juice Box Hero posted:Lol a chubby north Korean child chubby children are considered to be elusive and mischievious mythical creatures in north korea and many superstitious peasants attribute failed crops to their machinations
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Sep 27, 2014 07:32
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GrrrlSweatshirt posted:chubby children are considered to be elusive and mischievious mythical creatures in north korea and many superstitious peasants attribute failed crops to their machinations in this case they are correct
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Sep 27, 2014 08:19
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Are they gonna say "gently caress it" and bring in the gay brother now? Or even better, bring back in Il-Sung lookalike Kim Pyong-il? Panamaniac fucked around with this message at 08:39 on Sep 27, 2014 |
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Sep 27, 2014 08:32
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Hes Un-well Has anyone said that yet?
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Sep 27, 2014 08:49
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Rapman the Cook posted:Hes Un-well
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Sep 27, 2014 08:50
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a hole-y ghost posted:no, thats a good one. How about, Un is in-ching towards death?
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Sep 27, 2014 09:07
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I hope they can iron this out. There seems a deficiency in leadership.
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Sep 27, 2014 09:11
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