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Wizards are loving assholes. gently caress "political correctness", I'm sick and tired of their bullshit. I used to live in a good city with good, hardworking people--real Americans. Then one day a portal to Tal'Keoth, the Burning Void, opened in the middle of high school football field and everything was hosed. Wizards started appearing out of nowhere, swarming all over that screaming portal like flies on a turd. Sure, it created a lot of jobs for Ritual Assistants and Soothsayers, but no one seems to realize that they only hire more goddamn wizards. There used to be a really nice Trader Joes down the street, until the tallhats bought it out and now there is a goddamn Arcanoreum in it's place. My apartment building reeks of burning skeletons and the rent has doubled in the past year---those mages pay with illusory gold coins inscribed with forbidden runes so they don't even care how hard it is to get rent controlled housing. Here's just a few of the things that I had to deal with in the past year: -An enchanter set my dog on fire for disrupting his aura. The cops said it was "protected religious expression" but that bastard doesn't even go to church -Went to see Captain America 2 and there was a cabal of wizards in the back row. Half way through they started laughing and when I went to tell them to shut their drat mouths they changed the movie so that Captain America was gay and he started banging Falcon for like an hour. I had to watch the whole thing to make sure but they definitely messed with it!!! -I grew a pair and tried to stick up for myself in a meeting with my boss (another loving wizard). You know what he did? rear end in a top hat went back in time, banged my mom, and now he's my dad. Or maybe he was always my dad, I'm not really sure. But, seriously, who loving does that? Anyone else tired of getting shat on by wizards?
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:32 |
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# ? Apr 25, 2024 08:37 |
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It's complicated being a wizard.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:33 |
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My music teacher once dressed up like a wizard and molested me when I was 7
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:34 |
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if i was wizard i'd conjure up some friends
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:34 |
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i died and a loving wizzzard raised me as an rear end in a top hat skeleton ghost gently caress you wizrad
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:34 |
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I am willing to hop in your pickup to round up wizards if necessary.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:35 |
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I long for the sweet embrace of death
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:35 |
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white wizard shot the food
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:35 |
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Surely your experiences with wizards haven't been so one-sided as to blind you to the presence of good wizards, right?
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:36 |
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i was once a beautiful effortposter, then a terrifying business wizardrilla turned me into a shitposter
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:36 |
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Hello Sailor posted:Surely your experiences with wizards haven't been so one-sided as to blind you to the presence of good wizards, right? The only good wizard is a dead wizard... no wait, an undead wizard... undead wizards are pretty cool.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:36 |
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RobattoJesus posted:The only good wizard is a dead wizard... no wait, an undead wizard... undead wizards are pretty cool. IMO kill all wizzards
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:37 |
if you use magick to summon a demon or a fireball i start to think you're a little immature.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:39 |
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Get a Shaman to make you a Talisman of Honeybadger. When a wizard even SENSES you wearing a ToH, you'll drop under a Wizard's radar like a F-117A with a Globe of Minor Invulnerability. (Not Wizard Safe)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg(Not Wizard Safe)
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:40 |
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Neurolimal posted:i was once a beautiful effortposter, then a terrifying business wizardrilla turned me into a shitposter
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:40 |
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i had to enable googleapis to rate this thread a five. google kicked my dog and continously expands itself using cheap algorithms and riually abuses its physical hosts for extended guest priveleges. why it is even necessary for such a simple text-based pvp mmo itfp is beyond me, so i'm going 2 redisenable it now.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:40 |
you won't hate wizards so much when you become one later in life op
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:41 |
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Dumbledore was really negligent toward his own students' safety if you think about it.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:41 |
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Hello Sailor posted:Surely your experiences with wizards haven't been so one-sided as to blind you to the presence of good wizards, right? I know plenty of Good wizards, heck I'm friends with a few. But the rest of them are no better than animals who should go home to Avalon or San Francisco and leave the rest of us alone!
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:41 |
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im pretty glad i dont have to deal with wizards because as a witch doctor they tend to cross the street when they see me and their teleportation spells steer clear of my neighborhood
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:42 |
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I thought wizards were over 30 virgins, so wouldn't it be effectively a contradiction in terms to get screwed over by a wizard???
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:43 |
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lizards im ok with
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:44 |
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Magic had broad cultural effects for us, when those with access began being exalted above those without it. The predictable result were the Mage Wars in which those without magic fought violently against their magic-wielding oppressors. In the end a peace treaty was signed that ensured an equal and democratic society, regardless of magical ability. Some argue that our continued use of capitalism lead to continued differences, but enough magic users contributed to the public good with their abilities that the overall effect on society was positive. PAGE 9 OF 681
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:44 |
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looks like i'm not alone hereWhy I Am Leaving New York City posted:I have never let the fact that I do not live in New York City keep me from pursuing my dreams, and I am certainly not going to let it stop me from writing a Why I Am Leaving New York essay today. New York, I must take my leave of you, you withered bitch-hearted city, you poison-titted fuckmother, you beautiful sex demon.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:45 |
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Moola posted:lizards im ok with how do you feel about lizard wizards?
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:46 |
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The Mad Archivist posted:I thought wizards were over 30 virgins, so wouldn't it be effectively a contradiction in terms to get screwed over by a wizard??? A wizard once pinned me to the ground and summoned a giant ball of beautiful shining light which floated inches above my face. He told me it was his soul and I should touch it, so I did. It was warm and not entirely unpleasant. He then summoned a second ball which floated up and rested, touching at the side of the first ball of light. "Is that your soul too?" i asked. "In a way..." he replied. Suddenly I was blinded by a gigantic shaft of bright white light which appeared on top of the two existing balls. That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out. I still don't know what happened on that terrible night, except that ever since that night occasionally rabbits and doves fly out of my butthole when I get stressed.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:53 |
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Check out Wizardchan and read the Q&A it's simply enlightening
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:55 |
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Jon Joe posted:Magic had broad cultural effects for us, when those with access began being exalted above those without it. The predictable result were the Mage Wars in which those without magic fought violently against their magic-wielding oppressors. In the end a peace treaty was signed that ensured an equal and democratic society, regardless of magical ability. Some argue that our continued use of capitalism lead to continued differences, but enough magic users contributed to the public good with their abilities that the overall effect on society was positive. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them because they have power beyond mortal comprehension. I mean, I love watching MMA so that stone-muscled brutes can beat the poo poo out of each other with staggering physical prowess, and I can hardly do a pushup---but I'm not even a little jealous! No, I'm generally a "live and let live" kind of guy. But when they flaunt their magic in public? That's not the kind of thing I believe in. And now they want to teach OUR CHILDREN that magic is natural and NOT A SIN and that anyone can become an apprentice if they have The Gift? Well, screw that. My uncle Rodger had "the gift" and he was a drat good accountant who never cast spells or anything weird like that. Sure, maybe he turned water into wine that one time at my bachelor party, but we were all hammered as gently caress and poo poo happens, y'know? Besides, I think this whole "apprenticeship" nonsense is some sort of pedophile grooming scheme, like they talked about on 60 minutes. Real hosed up if you ask me.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 00:55 |
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Moola posted:i died and a loving wizzzard raised me as an rear end in a top hat skeleton ghost Moola posted:I long for the sweet embrace of death That's really messed up, brother. Those dickwads commit these ATROCITIES every day and no one does poo poo. Did you know that raising the dead and binding them to your will isn't even a crime? The wizard lobby has sunk bills in congress that would limit necromancer rights for YEARS. That's bullshit, in my opinion, but apparently defying the laws of God and Nature is protected by the First Amendment.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 01:04 |
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Slanderer posted:That's really messed up, brother. Those dickwads commit these ATROCITIES every day and no one does poo poo. Did you know that raising the dead and binding them to your will isn't even a crime? The wizard lobby has sunk bills in congress that would limit necromancer rights for YEARS. That's bullshit, in my opinion, but apparently defying the laws of God and Nature is protected by the First Amendment. hey now necromancers are a very specific sect of wizards and don't reflect on the whole of the arcane profession mkay #NotAllWizards
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 01:05 |
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Reminds me of Mr. Stormbeard: http://www.somethingawful.com/news/wizard-neighborhood-association/1/
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 01:06 |
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Wizards rule and if you are ever harmed or afflicted by one you probably deserved it
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 01:55 |
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A wizard transformed my car into a stampeding elephant, but only for a second. It was still long enough to cause some massive chaos/confusion
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 02:13 |
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OP, this wouldn't have happen under Sharia Law.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 02:38 |
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I've been screwed by one.
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 02:41 |
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do Grand Wizards count?
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 03:08 |
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Any wizard who can't make a proper golem can gently caress off. Golems are awesome. Here are some sweet golem pictures:
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 03:16 |
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i begged my parents to take me out of the after-school wizarding program when my classmates started calling me "wiz-tard" and brandishing crucifixes and bibles at me, but i think it strengthened my relationship with baphomet in the long run
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 03:17 |
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 03:18 |
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# ? Apr 25, 2024 08:37 |
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This is dumb. Why would you need shotguns if you can just make a gun golem?
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# ? Sep 27, 2014 03:20 |