- A Loud Fart
- Sep 9, 2011
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Face down, booty up
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#
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Sep 27, 2014 23:36
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Mar 28, 2024 16:52
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- Germstore
- Oct 17, 2012
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A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
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Missaworlwhy!
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 00:00
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- Frostwerks
- Sep 24, 2007
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by Lowtax
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 02:48
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- get that OUT of my face
- Feb 10, 2007
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absolutely. we would have trashy gutter sex because she is a trashy gutter goddess
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 03:25
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- ANIME IS BLOOD
- Sep 4, 2008
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by zen death robot
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Dear Penthouse,
I never believed it would happen to me!
After winning back-stage tickets to a KE$HA concert from H.E.B., I got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet the starlet after she performed at a local middle school. She was worked up into quite a lather! The hot lights had caused her to sweat profusely, and the pyrotechnics gave her skin a strong chemical odor (like old fireworks).
It seems that the venue wasn't prepared to provide KE$HA with her usual amenities, but the superstar was only briefly perturbed by the news.
"Relax, I've got this," she said gruffly (but confidently) as she sat a defaced Jansport backpack on the couch and opened it up. Inside were several "handles" of bottom-shelf "Winner's Cup" Longs Drugstore Gin.
"But didn't Longs Drugs close down a long time ago?"
"Bought in bulk, baby." She held two handles up and cackled wickedly. Then she did something I had never seen, nor probably will ever see again: She bit down on the sealed cap to one of the bottles; it crunched and popped, and the entire twist-cap furniture came off. The way it all happened so nonchalantly, it was as if she had taken a bite of soft cheese with those broken, jagged yellow fangs of hers.
"Where we're going, we won't need caps," she grunted and began chugging.
After eliminating a handle-and-a-half of cheap gin, KE$HA let loose a long, wet burp that burned my eyes so badly I was momentarily blind--for several minutes, the room was pure poison. I thought about soldiers being deliberately exposed to CS Gas during basic training; about the Kurds who saw the SCUD missiles descend upon them like mechanical hawks; about the Jews who spent their final moments huddled in dirty "showers", far from home...and immediately I felt a connection with all of them. I clawed at the fumes and rubbed at my eyes with balled fists. The pain was overwhelming.
But then she took me by the wrist with those clammy hands of hers and said, "...and where we're going, we won't need to see with these fake meat-eyes of ours."
My head became heavy--blame it on alcohol intoxication absorbed through every one of my pores--the world became dream-like. "Jaden Smith writes that we won't be able to see what is real until our eyes become real," KE$HA said to me. "When will we realize that babies are the smartest people on earth, and trees are really blue?"
She pulled me into the fog, and I followed, and suddenly we were no longer in her dressing room. We were standing on top of a bridge that overlooked a dry riverbed hundreds of feet below. KE$HA had her arms out at her sides and she was walking on the handrail like it was a tightrope.
"When I die," she whispered, "then you will realize."
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 03:27
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- Luxily
- Aug 11, 2012
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Yeah, she would be fuckable. All of her sweat would be so intoxicating.
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Sep 28, 2014 03:29
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- Pillow Clerk
- Oct 18, 2008
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a couple years ago i read a ke$ha interview where she referenced dostoevsky lmao
owns
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 03:33
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- Slap Happy
- Apr 14, 2006
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Yeah, she would be fuckable. All of her sweat would be so intoxicating.
literally, it would have alcohol in it
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 03:39
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- 3 DONG HORSE
- May 22, 2008
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I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization
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Dear Penthouse,
I never believed it would happen to me!
After winning back-stage tickets to a KE$HA concert from H.E.B., I got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet the starlet after she performed at a local middle school. She was worked up into quite a lather! The hot lights had caused her to sweat profusely, and the pyrotechnics gave her skin a strong chemical odor (like old fireworks).
It seems that the venue wasn't prepared to provide KE$HA with her usual amenities, but the superstar was only briefly perturbed by the news.
"Relax, I've got this," she said gruffly (but confidently) as she sat a defaced Jansport backpack on the couch and opened it up. Inside were several "handles" of bottom-shelf "Winner's Cup" Longs Drugstore Gin.
"But didn't Longs Drugs close down a long time ago?"
"Bought in bulk, baby." She held two handles up and cackled wickedly. Then she did something I had never seen, nor probably will ever see again: She bit down on the sealed cap to one of the bottles; it crunched and popped, and the entire twist-cap furniture came off. The way it all happened so nonchalantly, it was as if she had taken a bite of soft cheese with those broken, jagged yellow fangs of hers.
"Where we're going, we won't need caps," she grunted and began chugging.
After eliminating a handle-and-a-half of cheap gin, KE$HA let loose a long, wet burp that burned my eyes so badly I was momentarily blind--for several minutes, the room was pure poison. I thought about soldiers being deliberately exposed to CS Gas during basic training; about the Kurds who saw the SCUD missiles descend upon them like mechanical hawks; about the Jews who spent their final moments huddled in dirty "showers", far from home...and immediately I felt a connection with all of them. I clawed at the fumes and rubbed at my eyes with balled fists. The pain was overwhelming.
But then she took me by the wrist with those clammy hands of hers and said, "...and where we're going, we won't need to see with these fake meat-eyes of ours."
My head became heavy--blame it on alcohol intoxication absorbed through every one of my pores--the world became dream-like. "Jaden Smith writes that we won't be able to see what is real until our eyes become real," KE$HA said to me. "When will we realize that babies are the smartest people on earth, and trees are really blue?"
She pulled me into the fog, and I followed, and suddenly we were no longer in her dressing room. We were standing on top of a bridge that overlooked a dry riverbed hundreds of feet below. KE$HA had her arms out at her sides and she was walking on the handrail like it was a tightrope.
"When I die," she whispered, "then you will realize."
art
would
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 04:37
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- Fart.Bleed.Repeat.
- Sep 29, 2001
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get drunk as poo poo do all kinds of dirty poo poo on her, hell yeah
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 05:23
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- The Bible
- May 8, 2010
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Hell yes.
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 05:48
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- drilldo squirt
- Aug 18, 2006
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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Clapping Larry
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Yes, op.
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 05:48
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- PathAsc
- Nov 15, 2011
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Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire
PISS TAPE IS REAL
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Dear Penthouse,
I never believed it would happen to me!
After winning back-stage tickets to a KE$HA concert from H.E.B., I got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet the starlet after she performed at a local middle school. She was worked up into quite a lather! The hot lights had caused her to sweat profusely, and the pyrotechnics gave her skin a strong chemical odor (like old fireworks).
It seems that the venue wasn't prepared to provide KE$HA with her usual amenities, but the superstar was only briefly perturbed by the news.
"Relax, I've got this," she said gruffly (but confidently) as she sat a defaced Jansport backpack on the couch and opened it up. Inside were several "handles" of bottom-shelf "Winner's Cup" Longs Drugstore Gin.
"But didn't Longs Drugs close down a long time ago?"
"Bought in bulk, baby." She held two handles up and cackled wickedly. Then she did something I had never seen, nor probably will ever see again: She bit down on the sealed cap to one of the bottles; it crunched and popped, and the entire twist-cap furniture came off. The way it all happened so nonchalantly, it was as if she had taken a bite of soft cheese with those broken, jagged yellow fangs of hers.
"Where we're going, we won't need caps," she grunted and began chugging.
After eliminating a handle-and-a-half of cheap gin, KE$HA let loose a long, wet burp that burned my eyes so badly I was momentarily blind--for several minutes, the room was pure poison. I thought about soldiers being deliberately exposed to CS Gas during basic training; about the Kurds who saw the SCUD missiles descend upon them like mechanical hawks; about the Jews who spent their final moments huddled in dirty "showers", far from home...and immediately I felt a connection with all of them. I clawed at the fumes and rubbed at my eyes with balled fists. The pain was overwhelming.
But then she took me by the wrist with those clammy hands of hers and said, "...and where we're going, we won't need to see with these fake meat-eyes of ours."
My head became heavy--blame it on alcohol intoxication absorbed through every one of my pores--the world became dream-like. "Jaden Smith writes that we won't be able to see what is real until our eyes become real," KE$HA said to me. "When will we realize that babies are the smartest people on earth, and trees are really blue?"
She pulled me into the fog, and I followed, and suddenly we were no longer in her dressing room. We were standing on top of a bridge that overlooked a dry riverbed hundreds of feet below. KE$HA had her arms out at her sides and she was walking on the handrail like it was a tightrope.
"When I die," she whispered, "then you will realize."
I sang this in my head to the tune of the "Dear Penthouse" song that was on Bob and Tom years ago
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 05:50
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- les fleurs du mall
- Jun 30, 2014
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by LadyAmbien
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I am Ke$ha OP
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 07:44
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- VideoTapir
- Oct 18, 2005
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He'll tire eventually.
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I'm loving ke$ha right now.
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 07:55
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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If anyone would have celeb undies on iCloud id thought it'd be her
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#
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Sep 28, 2014 14:20
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- drilldo squirt
- Aug 18, 2006
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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Clapping Larry
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I'd still gently caress her tbqh.
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#
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Sep 29, 2014 00:21
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- drilldo squirt
- Aug 18, 2006
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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Clapping Larry
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I'd still dump my syrup on those pancakes
Yeah dude I'd have sex with her still also.
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Sep 29, 2014 00:21
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- ElectricSheep
- Jan 14, 2006
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she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
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If anyone would have celeb undies on iCloud id thought it'd be her
she's had nudes out already I thought
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Sep 29, 2014 00:53
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- GrrrlSweatshirt
- Jun 2, 2012
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hello 911 i was hooking up with ke$ha and she stabbed me with some kind of ovipositor that came out of her chest. now i cant stop eating raw meat and i keep having these terrifying visions of planets overrun by some kind of endless howling mass of flesh
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#
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Sep 29, 2014 01:08
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- ANIME IS BLOOD
- Sep 4, 2008
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by zen death robot
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hello 911 i was hooking up with ke$ha and she stabbed me with some kind of ovipositor that came out of her chest. now i cant stop eating raw meat and i keep having these terrifying visions of planets overrun by some kind of endless howling mass of flesh
keep going
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#
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Sep 29, 2014 01:14
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- Germstore
- Oct 17, 2012
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A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
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hello 911 i was hooking up with ke$ha and she stabbed me with some kind of ovipositor that came out of her chest. now i cant stop eating raw meat and i keep having these terrifying visions of planets overrun by some kind of endless howling mass of flesh
I'm sure you'll be a fine mother.
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Sep 29, 2014 01:15
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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lol maybe in bumfuck montana or something
Or an anime pillow
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Sep 29, 2014 02:03
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- chickie nugs for brekkie
- May 17, 2010
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Please move out of whatever shithole you live in and experience the wider world of assess.
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Sep 29, 2014 02:06
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- Professor Shark
- May 22, 2012
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m@yb
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Sep 29, 2014 02:06
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Please move out of whatever shithole you live in and experience the wider world of assess.
a/s/l?
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#
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Sep 29, 2014 02:11
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Mar 28, 2024 16:52
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- Harime Nui
- Apr 15, 2008
-
The New Insincerity
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8GfWJKyPVc
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#
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Sep 29, 2014 02:14
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