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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
So I recall reading a while ago that since women are XX and men are XY it's theoretically possible that one X chromosome has all the information you need for reproduction. So what if like, an egg got some kind of mutation, multiplied and emerged in it self to make two sets of chromosomes and pop out a baby with out sex?

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tupac holocron
Apr 23, 2008
The son of Maryam is about to descend amongst you as a correct ruler, he will break the cross and kill the pig!

Volume posted:

So I recall reading a while ago that since women are XX and men are XY it's theoretically possible that one X chromosome has all the information you need for reproduction. So what if like, an egg got some kind of mutation, multiplied and emerged in it self to make two sets of chromosomes and pop out a baby with out sex?

that's not what the immaculate conception is

Digi_Kraken
Sep 4, 2011
Mary was dressed like a slut and got knocked up by some Arab and tried to claim rape but Joseph saw through that poo poo and beat the crap out of her

so they decided to just say she magically got pregnant and lo and behold Jesus the arab was born.

Tom Sellout
May 27, 2011

$240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.
gently caress the Steelers, gently caress Terry Bradshaw, gently caress Franco Harris, gently caress you IM OUT

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

brave nazi aviator posted:

that's not what the immaculate conception is

9 out of 10 people think it is

Tom P. Baxter
Apr 26, 2005
How do you know my language!?!?!

Troon Flesh Mask posted:

Mary was dressed like a slut and got knocked up by some Arab and tried to claim rape but Joseph saw through that poo poo and beat the crap out of her

so they decided to just say she magically got pregnant and lo and behold Jesus the arab was born.

the miracle is she wasn't stoned to death

Dr. Furious
Jan 11, 2001
KELVIN
My bot don't know nuthin' 'bout no KELVIN
what happens when a hymen gets ripped out from behind?

SirDan3k
Jan 6, 2001

Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.

LifeSizePotato posted:

9 out of 10 people think it is

9 out of 10 goons think the protestant churches are controlled by the Pope whenever it comes up.

"Pope Benedict said something half positive about gays I'm excited about how this is going to change America's conservative Christians."

NakedWithCandy
Sep 22, 2014
Marry had sexytime with her not husband. That is how it happened.

NakedWithCandy
Sep 22, 2014
Plus Mary and Joseph those names make sense for the time period.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!
Mary hosed a dude, had a baby, and lied about the filthy slut she was. That's science.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
jesus never existed and mary if she ever had sex had sex with a person like joseph but joseph never existed either or mary, the whole gospel is a tone poem and we all take it so seriously.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
So jesus aside, could two eggs like merge into each other and make a baby?

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

i kind of like the angle that jesus is some sort of grotesque amphibio-human/reptoid and a product of asexual parthenogenetic reproduction

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

This is one of those things that always got to me, even as a very young Catholic.

"Wow these two teenagers who were promised to each other in marriage and were hanging out all the time somehow got pregnant before the marriage? Wow! I'm shocked! Definitely the work of the almighty here that she got turkey basted by something that wasn't JoJo over there. No. Totally the Lord, and in order to keep UP the ruse, the baby would be magical, because it's the lords. No really grandma I didn't beg for Joey's seed in my farm chute, it was..uh.. god."

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!

Volume posted:

So jesus aside, could two eggs like merge into each other and make a baby?

OP, no.

HAM ON THE BONE
Aug 22, 2009


Pillbug
Well you see, the Immaculate Conception is very scientific in that

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp

Troon Flesh Mask posted:

Mary was dressed like a slut and got knocked up by some Arab and tried to claim rape but Joseph saw through that poo poo and beat the crap out of her

so they decided to just say she magically got pregnant and lo and behold Jesus the arab was born.

gently caress yourself and die in agony

old beast lunatic
Nov 3, 2004

by Hand Knit
ghost cum

stay safe holy ghost cum

Absolute Lithops
Aug 28, 2011

After one long season
of waiting, after one
long season of wanting
Mary stood on the moon and God took away her original sin because of the future merits of her son :)

Digi_Kraken
Sep 4, 2011

Izumi Konata posted:

gently caress yourself and die in agony

Why are you so mad though?

:(

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

if Mary died a virgin does that mean Joseph never got any pussy or did he have a thing for hookers or what


p.s. immaculate conception applies to Mary, not Jesus. She was born free of the Original Sin,so she could birth Jesus.

NakedWithCandy
Sep 22, 2014

Excelzior posted:

if Mary died a virgin does that mean Joseph never got any pussy or did he have a thing for hookers or what

He got off being cucked.

hohhat
Sep 25, 2014
It was a miracle, OP. Miracles aren't subject to any scientific constraints.

If you don't believe in miracles, the obviously explanation is that she had sex.


It's win-win.

Xachariah
Jul 26, 2004

the immaculate conception was Mary by papal decree, not her adultery-child

idiot



its big so you can see it better

Xachariah fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Oct 1, 2014

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp

Troon Flesh Mask posted:

Why are you so mad though?

:(

u kick my dog.

hohhat
Sep 25, 2014

Xachariah posted:

the immaculate conception was Mary by papal decree, not her adultery-child

idiot



its big so you can see it better



Actually in Japan it's called "Doki Doki Panic."

Orange Sunshine
May 10, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
So far no one has answered OP's question:

What is the science behind Mary being born without original sin?

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

Orange Sunshine posted:

So far no one has answered OP's question:

What is the science behind Mary being born without original sin?

This was answered.

Papal decree.
Pope is infallible in matters of doctrine.
The papal infallibility was affirmed by the First Vatican Council.

Checkmate, scienticians

Xachariah
Jul 26, 2004

Orange Sunshine posted:

So far no one has answered OP's question:

What is the science behind Mary being born without original sin?

some guy said so, that's the science, thats all of the science

girth brooks part 2
Sep 6, 2011

Bush did 911
Fun Shoe
god no scoped mary's cooter OP this poo poo ain't difficult

Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009

by XyloJW

Volume posted:

So I recall reading a while ago that since women are XX and men are XY it's theoretically possible that one X chromosome has all the information you need for reproduction. So what if like, an egg got some kind of mutation, multiplied and emerged in it self to make two sets of chromosomes and pop out a baby with out sex?

There is a legitimate medical paper about a woman with no vaginal opening who got pregnant from swallowing cum and then getting stabbed, apparently the jizz leaked into her reproductive organs through a hole in the stomach. poo poo is hosed http://img2.timg.co.il/CommunaFiles/21227065.pdf

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp

Orange Sunshine posted:

So far no one has answered OP's question:

What is the science behind Mary being born without original sin?

she was chaste and faithful, duh/

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp
n e way, the blood of christ absolves all sin.

Straker
Nov 10, 2005

Steampunk iPhone posted:

There is a legitimate medical paper about a woman with no vaginal opening who got pregnant from swallowing cum and then getting stabbed, apparently the jizz leaked into her reproductive organs through a hole in the stomach. poo poo is hosed http://img2.timg.co.il/CommunaFiles/21227065.pdf
that's hot as hell

also it'd be trivial to get a girl pregnant without breaking her hymen or having sex with her by just holding her pussy open and jerking off into it

Lufiron
Nov 24, 2005
a turkey baster filled with baby batter and a dream

SirDan3k
Jan 6, 2001

Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.

Excelzior posted:

if Mary died a virgin does that mean Joseph never got any pussy or did he have a thing for hookers or what?

Mary was Joeseph's beard.

Effectronica
May 31, 2011
Fallen Rib
jesus had siblings so mary obviously didn't die a virgin

SirDan3k
Jan 6, 2001

Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.

Effectronica posted:

jesus had siblings so mary obviously didn't die a virgin

Siblings from the previous marriage of Joesph who was a widower.

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Effectronica
May 31, 2011
Fallen Rib

SirDan3k posted:

Siblings from the previous marriage of Joesph who was a widower.

lol matthew 1:25 outright says they hosed

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