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Effectronica posted:lol matthew 1:25 outright says they hosed Nuh-uh.
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 04:42 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 16:09 |
SirDan3k posted:Nuh-uh. "But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus."
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 04:43 |
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Effectronica posted:"But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus." la-la-la-la I can't hear you sex is bad la-la-la-la
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 04:50 |
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j-dawg also had a brother named james/ how can your science un-prove that??
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 05:46 |
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In my opinion it's God willing something to be and it happened.
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 05:50 |
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in the words of the virgin mary, "cum again?"
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 12:37 |
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this is a better miracle
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 12:42 |
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There were other supposed virgin births before Jesus'. It's not a novel idea. Actually, nothing Jesus does is that surprising: being born from a virgin, coming back to life after death, being born under a magical star, all that was common beliefs of other religions that Christianity incorporated. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAVjl_WSBdY
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 16:35 |
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It was midichlorians, OP
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 17:26 |
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Kanthulhu posted:There were other supposed virgin births before Jesus'. It's not a novel idea. Actually, nothing Jesus does is that surprising: being born from a virgin, coming back to life after death, being born under a magical star, all that was common beliefs of other religions that Christianity incorporated. I was pretty surprised when he hosed up that fig tree because figs were out of season
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 17:41 |
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is the OP trying to say that jesus was a woman
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 17:42 |
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1gnoirents posted:is the OP trying to say that jesus was a woman I think it's pretty presumptuous to assume that the son/daughter of god limited his/herself to the gender binary
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 17:43 |
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Drunkboxer posted:I think it's pretty presumptuous to assume that the son/daughter of god limited his/herself to the gender binary God*
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 17:44 |
Joe was a closeted gay and Mary got fed up with him not sexing her up so she went elsewhere and then said it was God so no one could question it. The end.
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 17:48 |
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perhaps she just sat on the wrong toilet seat
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 17:49 |
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Drunkboxer posted:I was pretty surprised when he hosed up that fig tree because figs were out of season Yeah that stuff was hosed up, man. Like, hate figs much, Jesus? Chill!
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 17:58 |
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Wasn't Mary like 14 years old when that old perv YHWH knocked her up?
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 18:01 |
it's not relevant that it isn't scientifically plausible it's not a problem that the concept had appeared before, given that christ is a prophecy fulfiller
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 18:02 |
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You know if I was raped and my culture would blame it on me and have me outcast to defend for myself for the rest of my life, I would make up poo poo that it was God that did it too. Joeseph was the ultimate cuck.
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 18:03 |
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Zeus came down from mount Olympus incarnate as a giant goose and raped the thirteen year old Mary and his magic godseed created Jesus otherwise known as Hercules to the ancient Sumerians
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 18:08 |
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it's when I gently caress your mom and she pregnant and then I leave town and whoops no father!
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 18:38 |
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Alan Smithee posted:it's when I gently caress your mom and she pregnant and then I leave town and whoops no father! ...dad?
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 18:39 |
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Someone get that catholic nutjob in here. I want to hear his take on this.
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 18:46 |
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Zöe of Arimathea
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 21:11 |
Volume posted:So I recall reading a while ago that since women are XX and men are XY it's theoretically possible that one X chromosome has all the information you need for reproduction. So what if like, an egg got some kind of mutation, multiplied and emerged in it self to make two sets of chromosomes and pop out a baby with out sex? If this is true, Jesus was an XX and thus a woman. Jesus had secret tits.
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# ? Oct 1, 2014 21:29 |
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1gnoirents posted:is the OP trying to say that jesus was a woman I'm not saying Jesus was a woman because I'm not saying this actually happened. I'm just asking if the possibility is out there for something like this to occur with a virgin birth. Now, I know that two eggs won't merge together to make a baby. The sperm is made to penetrate the eggs and get those chromosomes in there. But let's say we have a doctor/scientist take two eggs out, take the chromosomes out of one egg and puts them into another. Is there a reason those sets of chromosomes can't make the whole chromosome set themselves and make a baby?
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:22 |
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Have y'all seen that new show where some lady has an immaculate conception I think it has "virgin" in the title Hey guys have you heard? Heaven is for real
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:29 |
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lilljonas posted:Yeah that stuff was hosed up, man. Like, hate figs much, Jesus? Chill! God hates figs!
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:30 |
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the bible is make believe, OP hth
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:44 |
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Volume posted:Now, I know that two eggs won't merge together to make a baby. The sperm is made to penetrate the eggs and get those chromosomes in there. But let's say we have a doctor/scientist take two eggs out, take the chromosomes out of one egg and puts them into another. All these loving questions. Dude just let it go.
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:47 |
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See the man pees in the woman's peehole then she poops out a babby
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 01:16 |
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TRIGGER WARNING FACEBOOK STORY okay so before i defriended everyone i went to hs with this dude joined a "group" (this was roughly 2006 so groups were still a thing) called "the virgin surgeons" and it was about deflowering women. This was all before my ~feminist awakening~ but i still thought it was creepy this same guy also beat the poo poo out of this dude who keyed his car in hs smh
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 02:45 |
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When I was young I always just assumed since Jesus was supposedly the son of God that God just came down to earth and hosed Mary. Every horror movie incorporates some demon impregnating an earth chick and giving birth to a monstrosity, so why can't the Bible?
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 07:03 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 16:09 |
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mookface posted:...dad? *winks* *leaves through window to get cigarettes* *you are in bed crying into your spiderman sheets*
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# ? Oct 2, 2014 07:56 |