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Buffalo Quarterback Kyle loving Orton is here ort the poo poo out of some chumps. CHAPTER ONE Kyle Orton arrives in West Lafeyette, the Cradle of Quarterbacks, home to superstar quarterbacks Drew Brees and Kyle Orton. Orton leads Purdue to Bowl Games in an ancient time when the Big Ten was less lovely. Kyle Orton discovers his mission in life: to throw passes and be photographed drinking all of the whiskey on the entire planet.      CHAPTER 2 THE GREATEST QUARTERBACK DUO IN THE HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL AMERICAN FOOTBALL Forced into service after Grossman went down, Orton and started 15 games, leading the Bears to a 10-5 record. Orton stuns the NFC North by adeptly handing the ball off and dapping Bears defensive players who score all of the touchdowns. Orton grows a mighty beard in order to intimidate his opposition. Orton achieves the impossible, sparking a massive Bears fan ovation for Grossman when he enters a late-season game against Atlanta.  In 2006, Kyle Orton is demoted the third string behind that rat fucker Brian Griese. He focuses on growing his beard and drinking. He attends a Super Bowl.   By 2008, he vanquishes his rival, the Pretender Rex Grossman and starts 15 games.  CHAPTER 3 The Bears ruin their team by getting rid of their unstoppable two-quarterback system. Orton is traded to Denver for Jay Cutler. Grossman catches on with Texas. Orton posts career-high numbers. He leads the Broncos to a 6-0 record to start the season by owning the poo poo out of everyone because Kyle Orton was no longer loving around.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fPamV6LsV8 By 2011, though, Orton and Grossman are left embroiled in quarterback battles. Superbowl Quarterback Rex Grossman finds himself in Washington battling against John Beck. Grossman is lost in Washington, unable to beat Beck and devoting all of his time to lobbying Congress to make every receiver change their name to "Bernard Berrian."   Orton meets his greatest rival, the Usurper Tim Tebow.  Tebow stands for everything that makes Orton great: neckbeards, whiskey, foreskins. Orton shaves his beard and grows a mullet. It does not matter. He is benched after winning four total games from 2011-2 and Tebowmania sweeps across America. Ortonmania is localized to West Lafeyette, Chicagoland Binny's liquor superstores, and my apartment.  Orton is waived in 2011. He travels to Kansas City, who vultures him up to prevent him from returning to Chicago to become the True Backup because the Kansas City Chiefs are agents of evil. Orton instead plays against the Bears because he had to be less lovely than Tyler Palko, but then gets hurt. Tyler Palko plays against Caleb Hanie in an unwatchable shitstorm, denying Orton his revenge against the team that had traded him. In 2012, he finds a home in Dallas as Romo's backup. He grows his hair into a weird Francis Drake haircut because he is going to throw a ball so hard it travels to Roanoake and disappears.   In 2013, with Romo hurt and the playoffs on the line, the Cowboys turn to Orton. Orton throws for more than 350 yards, nearly leading them to the playoffs before throwing a back-breaking pick in a tribute to his new comrade Tony Romo who has thrown some famously costly picks and has a broken back. Having achieved all that one can in professional football, Kyle Orton decides to retire. Grown men weep. Jerry Jones fumes. Orton goes back home, like Cincinnatus, for a number of weeks. CHAPTER 5 Orton realized his work was not done and there were still some teams with really lovely quarterbacks where he could play. Kyle Orton has come back to save us all. Kyle Orton has returned to lead the Bills to the Super Bowl. Kyle Orton has been in the NFL for ten years. Kyle Orton has a mustache now.  Rex Grossman's current whereabouts are unknown. Please use this thread for all of your Kyle Orton content.
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Oct 1, 2014 02:53
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:14 |
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gently caress Kyle Orton, godbless Why the man who almost single-handedly ruined the Broncos gets so much respect here... it's honestly the worst part about you guys mkay sweet thursday fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Oct 1, 2014 |
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Oct 1, 2014 02:53
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How is any of Kyle Orton's facial hair a real thing.
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Oct 1, 2014 02:56
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Thank you for the thread and the information about good quarterback, Kyle Orton, whom I respect. Good thread thank you
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Oct 1, 2014 02:58
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DangerKat posted:How is any of Kyle Orton's facial hair a real thing.
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Oct 1, 2014 02:58
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sweet thursday posted:gently caress Kyle Orton, godbless Look at this bad person with stupid opinions for idiot babies.
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Oct 1, 2014 02:59
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sweet thursday posted:gently caress Kyle Orton, godbless You answered your own question quote:single-handedly ruined the Broncos
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Oct 1, 2014 02:59
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I would gladly take Orton on the titans
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Oct 1, 2014 03:01
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I'm surprised he isn't playing for the Raiders, since these days it looks like he goes to the same barber as Mark Davis.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:02
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Saw the title and knew this gif needed to be a part of the thread. May King Neckbeard rule.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:04
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Daedra posted:I would gladly take Orton on the titans Same.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:05
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I like Kyle Orton because there is a photograph of him in a club/bad drinking directly from a bottle of Champagne while wearing an acid washed shirt with Leatherface on it. It's in the OP: That's a cool dude.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:10
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Andrew Luck said today that Orton's neckbeard is vastly superior. He really did.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:12
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RD you forgot the part where Kyle Orton led the Chiefs to victory and ended the Packers' undefeated season in Week 15 of the 2011 season.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:12
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Athanatos posted:Andrew Luck said today that Orton's neckbeard is vastly superior.  we are going places where making this happen
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Oct 1, 2014 03:15
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Athanatos posted:Andrew Luck said today that Orton's neckbeard is vastly superior. I need to hear this audio.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:25
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The Puppy Bowl posted:I need to hear this audio. Was on NFL Live today apparently but I'm failing to find video.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:31
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This is the best TFF thread in a long rear end time. Well done.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:36
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Presented without comment
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Oct 1, 2014 03:39
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I hope the next chapter is backing up Philip Rivers or something
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Oct 1, 2014 03:40
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Great take OP. Got a free Orton jersey in '03 when he poo poo the bed against ND (or some other rival) and someone else in the student section threw their Orton jersey unsuccessfully toward the field. Still wear it today for Purdue games and use to wear it around my horrible Cowboys friends. Go Boilers! Go Orton! Hope he leads the Bills to a Super Bowl loss.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:41
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Orton/Marshall and Orton/Lloyd made those bad Denver years bearable.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:47
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best thread on the internet
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Oct 1, 2014 03:55
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He's bad. But funny looking. The end.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:56
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during kyle orton's brief time as a chief he led the team to victory over the then 13-0 green bay packers
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Oct 1, 2014 03:59
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I'm Kyle Orton's second chin.
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Oct 1, 2014 04:05
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Can someone please trick toxx these Orton haters into posting only the glory of Orton, who is at least a top 5 all time Bears QB.
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Oct 1, 2014 04:06
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Kyle Orton is the best and was Unjustly Benched By The Coward John Fox
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Oct 1, 2014 04:09
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Elephanthead posted:Can someone please trick toxx these Orton haters into posting only the glory of Orton, who is at least a top 5 all time Bears QB. a bar so low it's resting on the floor orton owns
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Oct 1, 2014 04:13
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In one of my favorite games of all time, Bears Cowboys 2012, Romo Romo'ed it up by throwing 5 Romoceptions. Naturally he was benched so he could watch the superior QB show him how it's done - Orton heroically drove down the field for a garbage time TD, salvaging some of the Cowboys' pride in that loss. On that day it became clear to me why Orton was the superior quarterback.
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Oct 1, 2014 04:14
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If Kyle Orton had come to the Miami Dolphins when that was a thing that almost happened, they would probably have had roughly the same QB play that they actually did. So, in retrospect, I wish that had happened.
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Oct 1, 2014 04:15
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posting from the goldmine
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Oct 1, 2014 04:17
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the season where Orton was 6-0 with the Broncos ruled
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Oct 1, 2014 04:20
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kyle orton being the 2nd best bears qb of all time is kyle orton as gently caress
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Oct 1, 2014 04:22
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wheez the roux posted:kyle orton being the 2nd best bears qb of all time is kyle orton as gently caress are you saying Rex Grossman is the best Bears QB of all time
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Oct 1, 2014 04:25
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ROSS MY SALAD posted:the season where Orton was 6-0 with the Broncos ruled Did it ever. I love that it was the Ravens who started Josh McDaniels parade into squeaking madness.
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Oct 1, 2014 04:25
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See you in the goldmine, y'all
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Oct 1, 2014 04:26
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OSheaman posted:are you saying Rex Grossman is the best Bears QB of all time are you saying he isnt
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Oct 1, 2014 04:29
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just kidding. its jay cutler
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Oct 1, 2014 04:30
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:14 |
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I am glad Kyle Orton is continuing his quest to play for every NFL team.
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Oct 1, 2014 04:31
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