Kyle Orton Megathread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Kyle Orton Megathread

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Paracausal: Sep 5, 2011; Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem - no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.

Quest For Glory II posted:

Lieutenant Dangle?

# ? Oct 1, 2014 22:33

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 12:53

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Chromatic posted:

Holy poo poo. I never realized how much he looks like Bill Hicks.

That rules.

# ? Oct 1, 2014 22:34

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Probably Magic posted:

"There ain't no future in money or gold. When the world goes tits up the only thing people will respect is Whiskey."

# ? Oct 1, 2014 22:51

Ostentatious: Sep 29, 2010

Chichevache posted:

Holy poo poo. I never realized how much he looks like Bill Hicks.

That rules.

I always got a Dave Grohl vibe from him when he has the neckbeard

# ? Oct 1, 2014 23:01

Filthy Casual: Aug 13, 2014

Grohl is officially his doppleganger since at least 2008.

# ? Oct 1, 2014 23:08

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

Burger Trench posted:

�Early drinkin� means quick drunken.�

# ? Oct 1, 2014 23:13

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Burger Trench posted:

Veteran savvy

Matthew Fairburn @MatthewFairburn
Asked why he'll run the Bills offense better than EJ Manuel, Kyle Orton said "That's a loaded question. That's a crap question."

We can claim Jay Cutler doesn't give a poo poo all you want but he never looked like that

# ? Oct 1, 2014 23:46

drizzle: Jul 7, 2004; The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.

R.D. Mangles posted:

Orton is waived in 2011. He travels to Kansas City, who vultures him up to prevent him from returning to Chicago to become the True Backup because the Kansas City Chiefs are agents of evil. Orton instead plays against the Bears because he had to be less lovely than Tyler Palko, but then gets hurt. Tyler Palko plays against Caleb Hanie in an unwatchable shitstorm, denying Orton his revenge against the team that had traded him.

I was so pissed when KC sniped him off waivers. Also that KC game was bar none the worst football game I've ever seen.

# ? Oct 1, 2014 23:53

pasaluki: Feb 27, 2008; THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

Burger Trench posted:

Veteran savvy

Kyle Orton said "That's a crap question."

Best Bills QB since Flutie calling it right now.

Edit: Just watched the presser. Orton totally just called out the media on their bullshit practically as soon as it was out of their mouth. Whether it was getting the name of the offensive coordinator wrong, or asking loaded questions. At one point he basically was like "why don't you ask everyone else on the team that I'm worried about myself."

pasaluki fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Oct 2, 2014

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:28

swickles: Aug 21, 2006; I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

TG-Chrono posted:

Stupid NFL rules not letting Orton wear short shorts. It would increase his agility, like a cheetah.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:30

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

pasaluki posted:

Best Bills QB since Flutie calling it right now.

First flutie flakes, now Orton-Os

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:30

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

Mel Mudkiper posted:

First flutie flakes, now Orton-Os

As if Orton eats his breakfast

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:45

Sour Diesel: Jan 30, 2010

swickles posted:

Stupid NFL rules not letting Orton wear short shorts. It would increase his agility, like a cheetah.

Like a touchdown throwing cheetah

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:47

pasaluki: Feb 27, 2008; THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

ESPN posted:

We're just one practice into the Kyle Orton era, but the Buffalo Bills' top receivers have already noticed a difference in Orton from former starter EJ Manuel.

"We just had a different approach to practice. [Orton] demands what he wants out of us," rookie Sammy Watkins said. "He's more of a veteran guy. The way he talked, the way he handles business, the way he looks at plays and breaks down defenses, it's kind of different than EJ.

"He reads it quicker, the ball is coming out faster. That's just some things that we have to adjust to."

EJ is so hosed right now.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:56

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

pasaluki posted:

EJ is so hosed right now.

I wouldn't necessarily say that; it just means that the team is rallying around Orton, and why shouldn't they

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:58

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

pasaluki posted:

Orton] demands what he wants out of us," rookie Sammy Watkins said.

"Jesus Christ keep it down"

"Turn down those stadium lights for fucks sake"

"Someone get me some goddamn pretzels"

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:58

whatis: Jun 6, 2012

Declan MacManus posted:

I wouldn't necessarily say that; it just means that the team is rallying around Orton, and why shouldn't they

god knows im rallying around him

# ? Oct 2, 2014 00:58

pasaluki: Feb 27, 2008; THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

It almost read like Orton just comes home like an alcoholic dad and all of a sudden playtime is over and the WRs are scurrying around trying to put away toys.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 01:08

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

bakka bakka posted:

This thread is missing Orton's greatest accomplishment, defeating the 13-0 Packers by himself.

To be fair, most of that was KC's defense.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 01:30

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

pasaluki posted:

EJ is so hosed right now.

There's no shame in being Ortoned out of a starting job.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 01:36

JGdmn: Jun 12, 2005; Like I give a fuck.

I distinctly remember saying "Orton has a high ankle sprain, the Bears season is over" once.

I wasn't wrong.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 02:21

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

JGdmn posted:

I distinctly remember saying "Orton has a high ankle sprain, the Bears season is over" once.

I wasn't wrong.

He was really cool in 2008. Never forget the Minneosta shootout, where Orton was just dropping bombs on Booker and G Reg all day.

R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 02:30 on Oct 2, 2014

# ? Oct 2, 2014 02:24

Danny LaFever: Dec 29, 2008; Grimey Drawer

pasaluki posted:

EJ is so hosed right now.

Bills only lose 24-7 on Sunday!

# ? Oct 2, 2014 02:30

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Mel Mudkiper posted:

First flutie flakes, now Orton-Os

Orton-Os can't be purchased in stores, but he'll give them to your mom for free. :a2m:

# ? Oct 2, 2014 02:45

The 7th Guest: Dec 17, 2003

pasaluki posted:

It almost read like Orton just comes home like an alcoholic dad and all of a sudden playtime is over and the WRs are scurrying around trying to put away toys.

He's not playing for the Vikings

# ? Oct 2, 2014 02:48

WalletBeef: Jun 11, 2005

Chichevache posted:

Orton-Os can't be purchased in stores, but he'll give them to your mom for free.

Orton eats an O.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 03:15

EugeneJ: Feb 5, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Request to change thread title to "Kyle Orton Manlove Locker Room"

# ? Oct 2, 2014 03:23

The Little Kielbasa: Mar 29, 2001; and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad.

R.D. Mangles posted:

Man, you should spoiler that. I was hoping Sam Tarly would stay with Gilly and not leave her for some Lannister tramp

The Little Kielbasa fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Oct 2, 2014

# ? Oct 2, 2014 03:26

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

football fuckerman posted:

As if Orton eats his breakfast

Orton-Os stay crunchy, even in whiskey!

# ? Oct 2, 2014 05:48

pyromance: Sep 25, 2006

Mel Mudkiper posted:

We can claim Jay Cutler doesn't give a poo poo all you want but he never looked like that

Put him in Buffalo and see where he goes with it.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 06:09

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

God I am just so psyched to root for a non-Cowboy Kyle Orton

He just rules so much.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 09:40

C-Euro: Mar 20, 2010; Soiled Meat

Does anyone remember that weird Denver sports blogger that would constantly refer to him as "Kyle Horton"?

# ? Oct 2, 2014 12:57

pasaluki: Feb 27, 2008; THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

C-Euro posted:

Does anyone remember that weird Denver sports blogger that would constantly refer to him as "Kyle Horton"?

Horvil tiki I think

# ? Oct 2, 2014 14:18

tadashi: Feb 20, 2006

This thread just reminded me:

1. There was a period in my formative years where I thought it was ok to root for Florida
2. I thought Grossman might be a good NFL QB
3. What the gently caress happened to Brock Berlin?

# ? Oct 2, 2014 16:31

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

tadashi posted:

3. What the gently caress happened to Brock Berlin?

I swear I saw him doing color or sideline commentary for ESPN last season once or twice.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 16:34

Top Hats Monthly: Jun 22, 2011; People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

-snip, wrong thread-

# ? Oct 2, 2014 17:10

il serpente cosmico: May 15, 2003; Best five bucks I've ever spend.

I think Keanu Reeves would make a fabulous Kyle Orton in the inevitable Kyle Orton biopic.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 18:07

Yodzilla: Apr 29, 2005; Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Kyle Orton owns, Jim McMahon owns, haters vacate.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 18:35

Miko: May 20, 2001; Where I come from, there's no such thing as kryptonite.

Yeah, even when he was dominating with the Broncos, couldn't not love Orton and getting poo poo done.

This bills-era visor-wearing, moustache-sporting version is a nice change.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 21:11

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 12:53

CRIP EATIN BREAD: Jun 24, 2002; Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T; Soiled Meat

He will get injured in the game against the Lions.

# ? Oct 2, 2014 21:30

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