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Earthy Ape Unit
Jun 17, 2014

by XyloJW
It's October, which means it is time to see just how far down the table Liverpool and United can actually sink.



^ A Good Table

Quick Question for the mods - is it acceptable to discuss United's upcoming midweek fixtures in this thread, or should there be a distinct thread for those?

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advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC
Every match counts.

Kwagga
Jun 11, 2002

I am small
I'm curious about that one weird trick to keep her interested. It's for a project.

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth
End the league next week, thanks.

Earthy Ape Unit
Jun 17, 2014

by XyloJW

Hamas Rodriguez posted:

I'm curious about that one weird trick to keep her interested. It's for a project.

"freeletics"

sourdough
Apr 30, 2012

sassassin posted:

End the league next week, thanks.

Hell, end it now. The season is just a prelude to the main event anyway: summer transfer window.

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth

RVProfootballer posted:

Hell, end it now. The season is just a prelude to the main event anyway: summer transfer window.

I still have faith that Swansea can claim the 4th place trophy when Arsenal get battered by Chelsea.

Hoops
Aug 19, 2005


A Black Mark For Retarded Posting
Top 4 will be as follows:

Chelsea
City
Arsenal
United

Boring as poo poo, don't shoot the messenger.

Sincerely,
Hoops Rodriguez

Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi
Mar 26, 2005

Wait, what did Sandra Bullock lie about? Oh boy I'm in suspense!

tetsuo
May 12, 2001

I am a shaman, magician
Tiote wants to Cheick out.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/11132861/Cheick-Tiote-I-want-to-leave-Newcastle-United.html

I've never been impressed by him. Yes, he runs around a lot and helps to cover our defensive shortcomings but imo he has no place in a proper side, it's just we're quite bad so he gets games. He's our Cattermole, tbh - a bit reckless, a bit poo poo, but he puts in effort so those deficiencies are quite often downplayed.

Earthy Ape Unit
Jun 17, 2014

by XyloJW

tetsuo posted:

Tiote wants to Cheick out.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/11132861/Cheick-Tiote-I-want-to-leave-Newcastle-United.html

I've never been impressed by him. Yes, he runs around a lot and helps to cover our defensive shortcomings but imo he has no place in a proper side, it's just we're quite bad so he gets games. He's our Cattermole, tbh - a bit reckless, a bit poo poo, but he puts in effort so those deficiencies are quite often downplayed.

Maybe his wives don't like the weather up north?

TelekineticBear!
Feb 19, 2009

tetsuo posted:

Tiote wants to Cheick out.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/11132861/Cheick-Tiote-I-want-to-leave-Newcastle-United.html

I've never been impressed by him. Yes, he runs around a lot and helps to cover our defensive shortcomings but imo he has no place in a proper side, it's just we're quite bad so he gets games. He's our Cattermole, tbh - a bit reckless, a bit poo poo, but he puts in effort so those deficiencies are quite often downplayed.

remember when chelsea and arsenal were both linked to him for £25million lol

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

TelekineticBear! posted:

remember when chelsea and arsenal were both linked to him for £25million lol

Remember that goal he scored against Arsenal? Phwoar

tetsuo
May 12, 2001

I am a shaman, magician

TelekineticBear! posted:

remember when chelsea and arsenal were both linked to him for £25million lol
I think those were lies circulated on purpose by the club to drive up his price in a bidding war that never had a chance of happening lol

Shoren
Apr 6, 2011

victoria concordia crescit

Shrapnig posted:

Remember that goal he scored against Arsenal? Phwoar

Remember that goal he scored against City? Phw-oh wait a second...

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Shoren posted:

Remember that goal he scored against City? Phw-oh wait a second...

I remember.

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth

tetsuo posted:

Tiote wants to Cheick out.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/11132861/Cheick-Tiote-I-want-to-leave-Newcastle-United.html

I've never been impressed by him. Yes, he runs around a lot and helps to cover our defensive shortcomings but imo he has no place in a proper side, it's just we're quite bad so he gets games. He's our Cattermole, tbh - a bit reckless, a bit poo poo, but he puts in effort so those deficiencies are quite often downplayed.

Even when he was being hyped as a top ball winner Yohan Cabaye was making more tackles per game than him.

With roughly the same number of bookings.

Earthy Ape Unit
Jun 17, 2014

by XyloJW

Shoren posted:

Remember that goal he scored against City? Phw-oh wait a second...

Joe Hart doesn't because his view was clearly blocked by the offside player

Earthy Ape Unit
Jun 17, 2014

by XyloJW

sassassin posted:

Even when he was being hyped as a top ball winner Yohan Cabaye was making more tackles per game than him.

With roughly the same number of bookings.

Cabaye isn't nearly as athletic

Insanely Sikh
Aug 26, 2009

Winner, SA's Sikh Of the Year, 2013
But he's a lot more mobile, in fact he's upwardly mobile compared to Tiote

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
QPR, Newcastle, and Burnley will finish the season in the same position as in the OP

Earthy Ape Unit
Jun 17, 2014

by XyloJW

Insanely Sikh posted:

But he's a lot more mobile, in fact he's upwardly mobile compared to Tiote

not true, I'm fairly confident that Tiote can jump higher

Lord of Garbagemen
Jan 28, 2014

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

blue footed boobie posted:

QPR, Newcastle, and Burnley will finish the season in the same position as in the OP

False Castle will finish down a spot. I am convinced Pardew is trying to achieve relegation with the most games left in the season.

corpuscollossus
Apr 19, 2007
Its surprising Ashley hasn't sacked him yet. To make the comments he did to the press and then to carry on like nothing happened isn't usually the MO for his type. Not to mention a toon army mercenary is going to glass him at some point.

TheGoatFeeder
Mar 16, 2005

"One Zaba, Two Zaba, Three Zabaleta, Four Zaba, Five Zaba, Six Zabaleta, Seven Zaba, Eight Zaba, Nine Zabaleta, Heeeeeeeeeey Zabaleta"
Just realised there's an international break coming up, FFS, October is poo poo....

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth

corpuscollossus posted:

Its surprising Ashley hasn't sacked him yet. To make the comments he did to the press and then to carry on like nothing happened isn't usually the MO for his type.

He was hammered.

Mustafa
Jun 3, 2007
Hay, screw you
If it truly was only a joke, Ashley can't follow through on it, he can't sack him now because he'll lose face. He'll keep him on until Christmas at least imo, Pardew's wages are probably pretty cheap if he has debts to Ashley. In the meantime we can continue to lol at Newcastle and their incredible ineptness.

Mustafa fucked around with this message at 12:27 on Oct 2, 2014

euroboy
Mar 24, 2004

Ashley is banking on staying in the league with minimal investment

ed balls balls man
Apr 17, 2006
Nice to see Clyne was finally called up for England.

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth
lmao at Jonjo Shelvey getting called up, and Andros Townsend getting in ahead of Dyer/Routledge/a bag of potatoes on the wing.

Hashtag Banterzone
Dec 8, 2005


Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM

euroboy posted:

Ashley is banking on staying in the league with minimal investment

£35m in and £12m out this summer can't really be called minimal investment. That amount of spending should've been enough to get Newcastle comfortably in the top half of the table.

Blinkz0rz
May 27, 2001

MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

sassassin posted:

lmao at Jonjo Shelvey getting called up, and Andros Townsend getting in ahead of Dyer/Routledge/a bag of potatoes on the wing.

I still want to know who it is exactly that rates Townsend and how I can get the drugs that they're on.

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

sassassin posted:

lmao at Jonjo Shelvey getting called up, and Andros Townsend getting in ahead of Dyer/Routledge/a bag of potatoes on the wing.

Rooney hardly ever gets shunted out to the wing these days though?

Spangly A
May 14, 2009

God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

sassassin posted:

lmao at Jonjo Shelvey getting called up, and Andros Townsend getting in ahead of Dyer/Routledge/a bag of potatoes on the wing.

What the living gently caress does Noble have to do?

Also if Downing keeps his current form up he might be worth a recall.

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Spangly A posted:

What the living gently caress does Noble have to do?

Also if Downing keeps his current form up he might be worth a recall.

Isn't Noble injured at the moment? Downing will have to keep up his form for a while longer before anyone forgets about his time at Liverpool, and we all know its your ability to be at a big club that gets you caps

Spangly A
May 14, 2009

God help you if ever you're caught on these shores

A man's ambition must indeed be small
To write his name upon a shithouse wall

Bogan Krkic posted:

Isn't Noble injured at the moment? Downing will have to keep up his form for a while longer before anyone forgets about his time at Liverpool, and we all know its your ability to be at a big club that gets you caps

It's a calf strain, isn't it? He'd be in light training by the weekend and only a week or so from sprinting by the Estonia game. Worth having him in the squad, it's not like England hasn't previously called up players to settle them in when they arent going to play. And it's Shelvey ffs. He's lovable but not great.

And yeah, on current form Downing gets in the squad now, but it's Downing so he'd probably have a breakdown. Best to leave it a while and see if he keeps form and confidence up, but he's definitely playing well.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Hashtag Banterzone posted:

£35m in and £12m out this summer can't really be called minimal investment. That amount of spending should've been enough to get Newcastle comfortably in the top half of the table.

Don't forget £20m out in January

Pantsuit
Oct 28, 2013

still no shawcross...

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Seriously, what does Aaron Ramsey need to do to get noticed?

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Hashtag Banterzone
Dec 8, 2005


Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM

Jose posted:

Don't forget £20m out in January

True, but overall I think you have to give Newcastle good marks in player transfers over the past couple seasons.

And I don't think there is anything wrong with Ashley refusing to invest more of his money in the club. He already loaned Newcastle something like £130m. Iirc, none of that money was from buying the club either.

My understanding is that the main problem with Ashley (other than the Pardew mess) is that he's let Newcastle fall behind financially. He paid off all of the loan sharks that Shephard used, but hasn't done anything right on the business side since then.

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