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Dengue_Fever
Sep 21, 2011

"there are hackers in 90% of the game's out there on the shelf's, waste of time speaking to naughty dog or EA/dice/microsoft/sony they all love hackers, hackers give them knowledge and sadly because you may not cheat/hack in games you will be like most of the players (not important) hackers are worth more to gaming industry then normal players,

I spoke to sony in april this year and was told, (hackers are important to the developement of future gaming), when I read that from sony I said to my self well stuff them dont need there products at the end of the day it will be naughty dogs/ea/sony/dice/UBI/rockstar's loss if all the decent players just sold there console's and bought a dog, good points about a dog, friendly dosnt try and sell your bank/home address to the highest bidding hacker and will always be there for you and gives you exercise in walking and getting fresh air plus toy fighting over a blanket or pillow or even a toy,

blanket ie and old towel for the dog he gets used to it being called there blanket, pillow that you can buy for dog's that they fight will like a toy, now thats cleared up I am just waiting for my console to die then no more lies/deciet/fake promises/crap programmed games that fall a part at the seem's, in all gaming industry rips us of for poor shabby workmanship because they just want to get it out there on the shelfs and make money worry about the problems afterwards, in short be a scientist/astronaught/mechanic/bus driver/music creator/ but never a programmer of game's,"

~pacific_fighter

Don't play computer games. Go and buy a dog, dogs don't hack, they only give you exercise and love you forever.

Dengue_Fever fucked around with this message at 07:39 on Oct 7, 2014

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i can still taste him
Feb 16, 2003
Buglord
Pit bulls get a bad rap. Love all rescues. Even the ones that can eat your family and face.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

train all dogs to piss on kids playing video games. we'll either get a generation that doesnt play videogames or a generation that loving loves dog piss and both are acceptable

naem
May 29, 2011

"Which Friends character are you most like?" I ask my date. I'm a witty guy who uses humour as a disarming mechanism (and, some might say, as a tool to masking my crippling insecurity), so I'd most likely be Chandler. But I'm smart like a scientist, so I could also be Ross. Finally, I'm klutzy and adorable--just like a Golden Retriever--so there are certainly hints of Joey inside of me. "I'm basically Chandler, Ross, and Joey." I loudly proclaim this fact, because confidence is an aphrodisiac.

Every six months, Staples performs an employee review on me and gives me anywhere between a $0.30 and $0.50 raise. This last review, my "upsells" were so high that the manager bumped me up $0.65. The trick is to target older customers and mislead them on their purchases. Thus, it only took me seven weeks to afford a pair of Toto elevator shoes, which added five more inches to my height. The problem is that the shoes don't do much once you sit down, so I've also been growing my hair out and using Axe molding clay to stand it straight up, which adds several more inches. All-in-all, I'm pretty close to my goal of adding another foot to my height.

Women love it.

"These are really great breadsticks," I complement the breadsticks. I keep eating them because, hey, free food. "Nom nom nom...hah!" She doesn't get it.

Actually, I can't help but notice that my date sits a little straighter (and therefore higher) than me. As I try to fit an entire breadstick into my mouth and chew it without also biting my tongue, I carefully eyeball the top of her head. She follows my eyes and touches her hair. "What?" she asks.

I squint and chew harder. Louder. Faster. I lean in. She smells like...cinnamon? No, nutmeg. It's hard to tell. My nose is stuffed up so I have to keep my mouth open while I chew. I suddenly imagine the ball of bread rolling around in my mouth like a load of dirty laundry and it makes me want to throw up.

"I'll be right back," I jump up from my seat and jog to the restroom. When I get there, inspiration strikes me like a bolt of divine lightning. "Eureka!" I start balling up paper towels and stuffing them into the back of my pants--I think I fit half of a roll down there. Then I waddle back to the table and quietly take a seat.

She looks mildly shocked. Or perturbed? I don't know, women are hard to read. "Are you...are you alright?" she asks.

"Who? Me? Yeah. Of course." My rear end crunches softly on stiff brown paper towels while I use her forehead as a ruler and try to estimate the height that they have added to my position. Maybe an inch--not bad, not bad. I lean forward. "Do you think there's a difference between, like...anime and manga?"

Suddenly a sharp pain hits my stomach. The breadsticks. They're interacting with the pot of lukewarm coffee I drank earlier. I wince as I feel a burning sensation running through my intestines like a G-scale model train. An "uh oh..." escapes my lips before I can stop it at the proverbial gates. I don't think I'm going to make it to the bathroom. But the paper towels. "...spaghettiooooos..." I force a smile.

I imagine a beleaguered General Adama facing down a whole Cylon army with nothing but a handful of fighters and flak guns. He meditates on the coming battle before finally saying, Alright, here goes nothing, Colonel Tigh. I close my eyes, hesitantly relax my rear end, and immediately feel a warm burbling rise up between my legs, just like I sat down in a pool of sun-baked mud or bread dough. The sensation persists for what feels like an eternity--the duration of which I am entirely silent. When it ends--mercifully--I let out a soft sigh.

When I open my eyes, I realize something very strange: I have risen another inch or so and am now looking slightly downward at my date. It is the most shocking and beautiful thing I could ever conceive of.

They say, "When god closes a door, he opens a window." I don't believe in god, but if I did, I'd swear he was with me that day.

White Noise Marine
Apr 14, 2010

Too many words in this thread

White Noise Marine
Apr 14, 2010

im gay

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Dengue_Fever
Sep 21, 2011

naem posted:

"Which Friends character are you most like?" I ask my date. I'm a witty guy who uses humour as a disarming mechanism (and, some might say, as a tool to masking my crippling insecurity), so I'd most likely be Chandler. But I'm smart like a scientist, so I could also be Ross. Finally, I'm klutzy and adorable--just like a Golden Retriever--so there are certainly hints of Joey inside of me. "I'm basically Chandler, Ross, and Joey." I loudly proclaim this fact, because confidence is an aphrodisiac.

Every six months, Staples performs an employee review on me and gives me anywhere between a $0.30 and $0.50 raise. This last review, my "upsells" were so high that the manager bumped me up $0.65. The trick is to target older customers and mislead them on their purchases. Thus, it only took me seven weeks to afford a pair of Toto elevator shoes, which added five more inches to my height. The problem is that the shoes don't do much once you sit down, so I've also been growing my hair out and using Axe molding clay to stand it straight up, which adds several more inches. All-in-all, I'm pretty close to my goal of adding another foot to my height.

Women love it.

"These are really great breadsticks," I complement the breadsticks. I keep eating them because, hey, free food. "Nom nom nom...hah!" She doesn't get it.

Actually, I can't help but notice that my date sits a little straighter (and therefore higher) than me. As I try to fit an entire breadstick into my mouth and chew it without also biting my tongue, I carefully eyeball the top of her head. She follows my eyes and touches her hair. "What?" she asks.

I squint and chew harder. Louder. Faster. I lean in. She smells like...cinnamon? No, nutmeg. It's hard to tell. My nose is stuffed up so I have to keep my mouth open while I chew. I suddenly imagine the ball of bread rolling around in my mouth like a load of dirty laundry and it makes me want to throw up.

"I'll be right back," I jump up from my seat and jog to the restroom. When I get there, inspiration strikes me like a bolt of divine lightning. "Eureka!" I start balling up paper towels and stuffing them into the back of my pants--I think I fit half of a roll down there. Then I waddle back to the table and quietly take a seat.

She looks mildly shocked. Or perturbed? I don't know, women are hard to read. "Are you...are you alright?" she asks.

"Who? Me? Yeah. Of course." My rear end crunches softly on stiff brown paper towels while I use her forehead as a ruler and try to estimate the height that they have added to my position. Maybe an inch--not bad, not bad. I lean forward. "Do you think there's a difference between, like...anime and manga?"

Suddenly a sharp pain hits my stomach. The breadsticks. They're interacting with the pot of lukewarm coffee I drank earlier. I wince as I feel a burning sensation running through my intestines like a G-scale model train. An "uh oh..." escapes my lips before I can stop it at the proverbial gates. I don't think I'm going to make it to the bathroom. But the paper towels. "...spaghettiooooos..." I force a smile.

I imagine a beleaguered General Adama facing down a whole Cylon army with nothing but a handful of fighters and flak guns. He meditates on the coming battle before finally saying, Alright, here goes nothing, Colonel Tigh. I close my eyes, hesitantly relax my rear end, and immediately feel a warm burbling rise up between my legs, just like I sat down in a pool of sun-baked mud or bread dough. The sensation persists for what feels like an eternity--the duration of which I am entirely silent. When it ends--mercifully--I let out a soft sigh.

When I open my eyes, I realize something very strange: I have risen another inch or so and am now looking slightly downward at my date. It is the most shocking and beautiful thing I could ever conceive of.

They say, "When god closes a door, he opens a window." I don't believe in god, but if I did, I'd swear he was with me that day.

God bless this man. He has hacked life. He has shown goons a way forward.

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
i didn't read the op, but a dog thread should be higher than the cat thread imo






naem
May 29, 2011

I like doggies

somethingawful bf
Jun 17, 2005
the saddest moment in my life was when my dog died. He was a rescue that the humane society had found on the side of a highway trying to still feed off his mother who was dead from being hit by a car. he never got over that trauma and had a lot of issues with strangers and being left alone etc etc, and was always an emotional wreck, but he was MY emotional wreck. Much Love baby. All dogs go to heaven

Calvin Johnson Jr.
Dec 8, 2009
dogs own i love my dog very much he is my buddy if you dont have a dog you are probably a bitch thanks op good thread 5'ed

flerp
Feb 25, 2014
Dogs are the best animal. I will fight you if you disagree.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Broenheim posted:

Dogs are the best animal. I will fight you if you disagree.

White Noise Marine
Apr 14, 2010

Broenheim posted:

Dogs are the best animal. I will fight you if you disagree.

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tote up a bags
Jun 8, 2006

die stoats die

Broenheim posted:

Dogs are the best animal. I will fight you if you disagree.

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