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Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat


Hey Thanksgiving is next month, maybe you want to practice your potato sides. Or maybe you're a lonely goon who is eating by yourself for Thanksgiving. Everyone can do with more potatoes.

Your basic potato sides can be a mash, fries, cubes, gratin, or a potato salad. If you want to show off, you can do something fancy like a pave. You can even do a baked potato but that's kind of lazy and we're trying to challenge ourselves to improve our spud skills here.

Here are a bunch of potato recipes to get you started, but by all means, if you find a better recipe or feel like winging it or making your own recipe, go for it!




SOME POTATO BASICS

Potatoes run across a spectrum of texture, from your fluffy and floury to your waxy and firm potatoes. When people talk about floury, they almost always mean the Russet potato, which crumbles and fall apart easily when cooked. The waxy potatoes will keep their structure a little more. As a rule of thumb, the bigger the potato, the more floury, and the smaller the potato the more waxy and firm it will be. Red potatoes will be on the firm end of things, while yukon golds will be somewhere in between.

Potatoes are chock full of starch granules, which are about 1/10 of a millimeter in diameter. When boiled, these starch granules swell. If overcooked or violently blended, the granules can pop, releasing the starch everywhere. This is okay for about the first 15-30 minutes, but then afterwards the starch will give your mashed potatoes the consistency of glue. This is why most chefs will recommend against using a blender for making mashed potatoes, since the blades will pop open a lot of starch granules. There are a few exceptions however, like if you're going to eat them right away, or if you're going to do some sciencey poo poo to your potatoes.

Cutting potatoes with a knife will also pop open starch granules. The starch will turn sticky and gummy after a while, so if you want your cubes or slices to stay separate, you want to wash off the pieces with water after cutting, to rinse away the exposed starch. Of course if you're making mash it doesn't really matter because the exposed starch from knife cutting is too small to affect the overall texture.




MASHED POTATOES

You can mash with a wooden spoon, a potato masher, with a potato ricer (which gives you smooth mush without breaking open starch granules) or even with a food mill.

Alton Brown's creamy garlic mashed potatoes
Serves 10-12. Good basic potato mash recipe that can easily be customized with bacon or cheese toppings or lobster pieces. For a vegan alternative, replace the milk with almond milk and the butter with margarine or other vegan butter alternative.

Modernist Cuisine's mashed potatoes
Fancy stuff, requires diastatic malt powder, blender, sous vide. Also happens to be vegan.

Heston Blumenthal's mashed potatoes with lime jelly cubes
Another fancy recipe, Heston advocates simmering the potatoes first, then boiling for some blah-blah science reason, and then adds lime jelly to cut its richness. If you're too lazy to make lime jelly cubes you might try pickled beets cut into small cubes.




POTATO GRATIN

Basic potato gratin recipe by Martha Stewart
Basic gratin recipe. If you can, I recommend using whole nutmeg and rasping it with a Microplane zester. Also you can substitute cheddar for the Gruyere if you think Gruyere is too expensive.

The French invented potato gratin, and, the fiddly people that they are, also came up with gratin dauphinoise, which is traditionally potato scallops in creme fraīche, in a baking dish that has been rubbed with a garlic clove:
Fernand Point's gratin dauphinoise, which is controversial for its inclusion of eggs. If you want a more traditional version, leave them out.

Modernized versions of this classic just replace the creme fraīche with heavy cream and does away with the garlic rubbing because who's going to notice:
Joel Robuchon's gratin dauphinoise

Hasselback potato gratin by Serious Eats
Kenji had the bright idea to turn the potato slices sideways, and the world of potato gratin was forever changed. Don't overcrowd the slices though, you want to make sure there's enough room for the cream to get in between the slices otherwise you might as well just make a baked potato.

Daniel Boulud's efforty potato gratin forestier, which adds mushrooms




OTHER POTATOES

Hasselback potatoes

Thomas Keller's potato pave recipe

Of course, don't be limited by these recipes if you want to try something else! Potato pancake? Hash browns? Anything that can be a side!

:siren: HOWEVER :siren: I recommend you try making something you haven't done before just to challenge yourself into trying new things. If you've already done mash, try making a gratin. If you've made gratin, try making fries. If you've made fries, try making a pave or potato donuts or some other crazy modernist poo poo. I've posted several recipes that range from beginner to advanced, there's plenty of options for doing something new with potatoes. You have no excuse to be boring!




DUE DATE

:siren: Make a potato side dish by Halloween or there will be spooky consequences! :siren:

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 06:41 on Oct 13, 2014

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Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

I'm down

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.
I'm going to give this a go.

Marta Velasquez
Mar 9, 2013

Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...
Fallen Rib
 

Only registered members can see post attachments!

paraquat
Nov 25, 2006

Burp
In

ActusRhesus
Sep 18, 2007

"Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."
I briefly lived in Utah and they had a wonderful dish called funeral potatoes. Apparently Mormons bring them to funerals. anyway, delicious. shredded up potatoes baked with cheese etc. I tried to google for them and only found nasty poo poo with cream of chicken soup etc. If anyone has a funeral potato recipe that doesn't suck, I'd really like to see it.

Drink and Fight
Feb 2, 2003

I will make a tater.

Marta Velasquez
Mar 9, 2013

Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...
Fallen Rib

ActusRhesus posted:

I briefly lived in Utah and they had a wonderful dish called funeral potatoes. Apparently Mormons bring them to funerals. anyway, delicious. shredded up potatoes baked with cheese etc. I tried to google for them and only found nasty poo poo with cream of chicken soup etc. If anyone has a funeral potato recipe that doesn't suck, I'd really like to see it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/25/dining/updated-funeral-potatoes-recipe.html?ref=dining

They're basically a shredded version of potatoes au gratin, if that helps.

ActusRhesus
Sep 18, 2007

"Perhaps the fact the defendant had to be dragged out of the courtroom while declaring 'Death to you all, a Jihad on the court' may have had something to do with the revocation of his bond. That or calling the judge a bald-headed cock-sucker. Either way."

contrapants posted:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/25/dining/updated-funeral-potatoes-recipe.html?ref=dining

They're basically a shredded version of potatoes au gratin, if that helps.

thanks...this sounds closer to what we had. The recipes w. cream of chicken are just...no.

KuroMayuri
Sep 4, 2014

I hate perfection.
To be perfect is to be unable to improve any further.
I'm only joining in if we can get a reverse Quayle on the title :P

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
The title is that way intentionally.


It symbolizes mankind's misunderstanding of what a potato is, and the wide gulf between what a potato truly is and what man perceives it to be. Only by making our gratins and fries and mashes will be bring ourselves closer to knowing the truth of the potato.

KuroMayuri
Sep 4, 2014

I hate perfection.
To be perfect is to be unable to improve any further.

Steve Yun posted:

The title is that way intentionally.


It symbolizes mankind's misunderstanding of what a potato is, and the wide gulf between what a potato truly is and what man perceives it to be. Only by making our gratins and fries and mashes will be bring ourselves closer to knowing the truth of the potato.

Fair enough. I will made something potatoey and post it :)

Edit: also how did I miss the bloody pic in the OP? Stupid beer...

KuroMayuri fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Oct 10, 2014

KuroMayuri
Sep 4, 2014

I hate perfection.
To be perfect is to be unable to improve any further.
I hope waffle iron hash browns (potato rostis) count as a side to our waffley bacon brunch.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR
Can we do sweet potatos? On nom nom am yam yam

kinmik
Jul 17, 2011

Dog, what are you doing? Get away from there.
You don't even have thumbs.
I will po some tates.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
:siren: Oh yeah one thing to add: try to do something you've never done before. So if you've done mash, try gratin. If you've done gratin before do fries. If you've done fries, make potato cake or pave or Heston Blunenthal's potato donuts or some other crazy poo poo. :siren:

Suspect Bucket posted:

Can we do sweet potatos? On nom nom am yam yam

Sure why not

Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

I will spud.

BlueGrot
Jun 26, 2010

How do I avoid potato water going brown?

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

BlueGrot posted:

How do I avoid potato water going brown?

The water you boil them in? Scrub and wash the potatos beforehand, a proper scrub. Water squeezed from potatos? I'd think some lemon juice, or other citrus, same way you stop fruit from browning.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR
While we wait (or let potato bread rest)..

POTATO-TAN WHY WONT YOU NOTICE ME


http://manga.redhawkscans.com/reader/read/silver_spoon/en/0/105/page/3
http://manga.redhawkscans.com/reader/read/silver_spoon/en/0/105/page/4
http://manga.redhawkscans.com/reader/read/silver_spoon/en/0/105/page/5


Before I am reported, let me note that this is a farming manga by the lady who wrote and drew Full Metal Alchemist, and is the very reason I WWOOF and farm now. THIS ANIME IS VARY IMPORTANT TO MEE

Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 05:40 on Oct 13, 2014

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
Food anime is a hilarious blend of actual educational information and hyperbolic exaggerated bullshit. Yakitate Japan was my favorite.

Here, watch a cartoonish-looking man do some cartoon poo poo with potatoes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-VsLRVemzk

Here is a man with a cartoonish voice teaching you to make fondant potatoes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOatJPocjDo

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 07:04 on Oct 13, 2014

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

Steve Yun posted:

Food anime is a hilarious blend of actual educational information and hyperbolic exaggerated bullshit. Yakitate Japan was my favorite.

Here, watch a cartoonish-looking man do some cartoon poo poo with potatoes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-VsLRVemzk

Here is a man with a cartoonish voice teaching you to make fondant potatoes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOatJPocjDo

bad english dubs are satan i demand the highest quality subs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Sno4zeF9g

edit: Two hours for fries? Six hours for doughnuts? Are you kidding? I'm not going to Nobu, I just want a snack.

Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 08:12 on Oct 13, 2014

Marta Velasquez
Mar 9, 2013

Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...
Fallen Rib
I can't find an episode with either Fry Slinger or Tater Tons, so you'll all have to settle for the Fighting Foodons intro.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LbWWx80ZPA

SnakeParty
Oct 30, 2011
ill make a poetoetoe toenight

Spoon Man
Mar 15, 2003

I've been meaning to try a gratin with my new mandolin.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR
I HAVE CHEATED AND MADE DINNER ROLLS



Sweet potato dinner rolls! Needs a touch more salt, probably 3 teaspoons rather then 1.5, and I added a teaspoon of brown sugar when blooming the yeast. They also could have gone with an extra minute or so in the oven to get more toasty, but I was worried and the lighting was bad, so I didn't see exactly how pasty they looked. I also brushed the tops with butter with a pinch of cinnamon and allspice, that could have been salted butter. BUT THIS IS WHY WE PRACTICE.

Have you ever been to Logans Road house, the bbq chain with the free 'shell and eat' roasted peanuts they encourage you to toss on the floor? Tastes just like their rolls. Very rich and moist, great with beer. I was pleasantly surprised!

http://www.health.com/health/m/recipe/0,,10000000408839,00.html

I was also affing THRILLED to figure out finally how pizza places make their weird little garlic knot shapes! I make the knots, found they were too big, and started to cut them in half and pinching them together into rounds. I did several, and GASPED in astonishment, realising that they looked exactly like the perfect delicious garlic knots you get in every Long Island pizzeria. I feel like I've rediscovered damascus steel.

Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 01:54 on Oct 15, 2014

Force de Fappe
Nov 7, 2008

In.

SnakeParty
Oct 30, 2011
unf. I made Boulud's Gratin Forestier. It was goooooood. I didn't have any oregano, so I used zaatar. It loving ruled.

First time I have gratin'd. It was not too terribly difficult nor expensive. I don't have a mandolin, so my slices were a bit uneven and it cooked a bit unevenly, but it was still drat good.

paraquat
Nov 25, 2006

Burp
great gratin, the za'atar is a good one!


I made Tortilla con Chorizo,

it was a rather easy version, but hey, first time..
dumped cubes of pre-cooked potato, baked onions, sliced chorizo, salt and pepper, into a shredded cheese, sour cream and egg mixture, gave it a stir, and poured it into a small oven dish:



after 40 minutes (because 30 wasn't enough, live and learn..), it got me this:



really nice, will definitely make again

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Anyone know of a good potato galette? I've seen it on the TV before but don't remember what they did or even who did it (Julia?)

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR
In the continuing adventures of "What do you mean I bought too many sweet potatoes", I bring to you Spicy Green Bean Stuffed Sweet Potatos! Which is totally not a baked potato with stuff on top, it's CLEVER.


(its beeyootiful)

You will need, for one serving,
1 Medium Sweet Potato
Olive Oil to coat skillet
1/2 tablespoon untoasted sesame seeds and red pepper
A handful of long green beans (fresh is best, frozen is okay but add to the skillet carefully!)
Butter
Sriracha

I baked the sweet potato for about 45 minutes in my toaster over for 45 minutes while watching Top Gear. When it was done all the way through, I turned the oven off and let it rest in there while I heated up some olive oil over medium heat, then tossed in half a tablespoon of sesame seeds, dried hot red pepper, and some dried minced tomato (which are kept in very similar containers and can be easily mixed up at first glance. Never mind, it was yummy). I let that all bloom until the red peppers started bothering my nose, so I turned up the vent fan, and threw in a good handful of green beans. I sauteed them up, removed from heat, and grabbed my now mostly handleable sweet potato from the toaster. I split it a quarter down lengthwise, mushed it up a bit, then packed it down to receive green beans. Then you carefully scoop the hot green beans and all the fixings on top of the potato, and top with a pat of fresh cream butter and a drizzle of sriracha for color.

Delicious and filling! This would serve perfectly well as a meat replacement meal for a vegetarian, even a vegan without the butter! I'm thinking for thanksgiving sides, I'll just make small dishes with a half or a third of a big sweetie's worth (since my thanksgiving looks to be just me and my parents this year, and we are not huge eaters) instead of stuffing whole potatoes and expecting everyone to finish that, the sweet potato rolls I'll definitely be making again, some spinachy or broccoli thing Ill have to think up, AND the whole roast chicken.

Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Oct 15, 2014

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat


Made dauphinoise from the Fernand Point recipe, one with eggs and one without. The first thought I had while putting the ingredients together was "wow, that's not a whole lot of mix to put on the potatoes." The final results are kind of bare and dry. Reading the ingredients for the Robuchon version, it immediately looks more attractive because of the amount of cream and the cheese.

Whatever makes Creme Fraiche unique is lost in the baking. Might as well just use cream.

Made Creme Fraiche for the first time and it's pretty loving awesome though.

Rubbing garlic on the baking pan has a pro and con: it smells good where you rubbed it and it didn't get covered by potatoes or cream. Anywhere else you rubbed it, well, there's no point. Might as well just mix it into the cream.

No cheese = no fun.

Eggs are gross. Escoffier and Point might be considered gods in the world of French cuisine, but even Shakespeare had some stinkers.

Edit: oh yeah, and white rose potatoes are a little too firm. Might try this one more time with Yukon golds just to give it a fair shake

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Oct 16, 2014

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

Steve Yun posted:



Made dauphinoise from the Fernand Point recipe, one with eggs and one without. The first thought I had while putting the ingredients together was "wow, that's not a whole lot of mix to put on the potatoes." The final results are kind of bare and dry. Reading the ingredients for the Robuchon version, it immediately looks more attractive because of the amount of cream and the cheese.

You might be right on the eggs and cheese bit.

Did you bloop the layers of Creme Fraiche in between the 'tatos plain, or was there anything else? In my experience, alkaline stuff destroys any of the fun yonk bite profile that Fraiche gives. Hard sour fraiche (freech in my farmy land) has the low ph sting of good gin and better cheese, without the effort but a thousandth of the keep.

I'm guessing the flavor of this dish depends a lot on managing ph.

Also gently caress googling 'ph of "food"' without coming up with some weird-rear end cancer conspiracy thing. I JUST WANT A LITMUS TEST.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
It's possible that a starchier potato might hold onto sauces better, the sauce seemed to just slide off these things and go straight to the bottoms of the pans like water off a duck's butt

I'm learning from this cookordie as much as everyone else is

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 06:00 on Oct 16, 2014

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

If a recipe doesn't specify what type of potato is to be used, I usually start off with Yukon Golds or something similar, cuz the way they break down, you can tell definitively what type you want for next time. Most gratins I use a yukon or something waxier so they remain distinct and firm.

With that recipe, I think something starchier, maybe even a russet-type would be ideal, because it's clearly not saucy enough on its own.

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?


Hair Elf
I made this tonight:

http://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016158-indian-spiced-tomato-and-egg-casserole


It was pretty good, though my tomatoes didn't really release enough water, so it was kind of dry. Didn't help that I overcooked the eggs a bit, so the yolks were mostly solid

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
Fernand point's gratin dauphinoise, take two:



Yukon gold potatoes muuuuuch better.

The top layer of potatoes got too dry. I see why modern gratins all have cheese toppings now; besides the flavor, the cheese keeps the potatoes on top from drying out. Everything under the top layer was wonderful.

I think this could also be solved by making twice as much cream sauce to put on the potatoes, enough to keep most of it submerged, but this doesn't have the flavor benefits of cheese

Another thing that contributed to the drying was that I just threw the slices in haphazardly. If you carefully layer them down partly overlapping each other like roof tiles or dragon scales, almost all the potato slices will be partly covered, keeping them more moist and protected from drying and curling. On top of that, it will make the potatoes lay more compact, meaning you'll need less cream sauce to cover more of them.

Egg still sucks.

Anyways I think I've learned all I'm going to from this recipe, going to try Robuchon and Boulud's gratins next.

Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

I often like the little desiccated nibbly slices that dry on top. :shobon:

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
In other recipes I would too, but this was like carrot slices that had been sitting out in the open all day.

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Cavenagh
Oct 9, 2007

Grrrrrrrrr.

Steve Yun posted:



Another thing that contributed to the drying was that I just threw the slices in haphazardly. If you carefully layer them down partly overlapping each other like roof tiles or dragon scales, almost all the potato slices will be partly covered, keeping them more moist and protected from drying and curling. On top of that, it will make the potatoes lay more compact, meaning you'll need less cream sauce to cover more of them.



I don't think that you'll really be able to reduce the amount of liquid, as it's still going to be absorbed by the spuds.
What I do for dishes like this is take the milk, cream and butter and gently heat it all together with peppercorns and appropriate herbs, so that the liquid gets flavoured up. Pour the liquid over each layer, rather than studding it with butter and pepper. Then, as the spuds cook, occasionally press down on the top with a spatula. This keeps tucking the potatoes under the liquid and results in an even, flat top that doesn't dry. It is a little labour intensive though. Any cheese requirements are done by grating cheese on top when the spuds are cooked and shoving the thing under the grill (broiler).

Eggs are pointless and make it a potato custard.

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