NFL Week 7 N/V - Random Acts of Violence Against Ospreys and Sheep

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 7 N/V - Random Acts of Violence Against Ospreys and Sheep

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Sour Diesel: Jan 30, 2010

E_Motion posted:

I don't think anybody's doubting that Watt is a monster and a level above pretty muchevery other defender in the league.

Also, the Ravens were so drat lucky last/this decade having 2 HoFers on the same defense. Too bad the offense was pretty much Boller and more poo poo until Flacco came and even then just mediocre. The Ravens could have been a dynasty!

If Todd Heap's prime wasn't wasted getting destroyed 5 times per game bailing out poo poo quarterbacks and Cam Cameron never existed then there was a chance we could've had at least a season of Heap + Pitta + Boldin.

For some actual news it looks like Osemele being out for the Bucs game was precautionary as they just wanted to rest his bruised knee. The TE Ozzie picked up in the 4th, Crockett Gillmore is actually a drat good blocker and he played a lot of reps on the left side of the line where the two rookies were, great adjustment by Kubiak and it helped a lot.

The Bucs game seemed like an overall experiment + loving around. I thought it was hilarious at the end of the first half how the Ravens were in hurry-up so they could get not in normal field goal range, but far enough so Justin Tucker could make an attempt at the distance record. Pierce pretty much ran the entire game which was probably the coaches seeing what he could do. Pierce shows flashes of being awesome but that's it. I went into this season thinking if Pierce could stay healthy he'd be the primary and Lorenzo would be a great short yardage back. Nope, other way around. Lorenzo Taliaferro has loving amazing vision and while his burst isn't spectacular, he always hits the right spot.

Forsett picking the 7th year of his career to display his talent is hilarious, but honestly I just think it's Kubiak's system where you can plug in any able body behind a decent line and get production out of him.

Dean Pees also got a wild hair up his rear end and before the game talked about how he wanted more sacks so he wanted to get out of his comfort zone and try some new schemes. Dumervil and Suggs were on the field together a lot, and if one wasn't on the field it was usually McPhee filling in for them. Upshaw is a fantastic run stopper but he's not putting any pressure on a QB. Arthur Brown was deactivated for the Bucs game and I hope it's not because he sucks. Oh well, at least Mosley is loving amazing and is probably going to snag DROTY.

Anyway, on to week 7 and it's a home game and I've been waiting for the Ravens to gently caress the Falcons and Matt Ryans stupid loving face up for 4 years.

gently caress the Falcons.

e: also there's a chance Jernigan is coming back week 8 so that would be nice.

Sour Diesel fucked around with this message at 10:24 on Oct 14, 2014

# ? Oct 14, 2014 10:22

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 09:01

TheChirurgeon: Aug 7, 2002; Remember how good you are; Taco Defender

Intruder posted:

Texans RG Brandon Brooks missed Thursday's game with a stomach flu. He lost 12 lbs in the hospital

e: Looks like a stomach flu combined with a URI

e2: I have no idea what these stats mean but apparently this is really good?

WPA stands for "Win Probability Added," which is essentially how the player contributed to his team's chances of winning from a raw probability standpoint. This will be huge for plays that create large point swings, such as interceptions in the red zone, but only if they matter to the game in context--an INT for the winning team in a 4th quarter blowout doesn't really help as much as one in a close game, for example.

EPA stands for "Expected Points Added," which is the expected number of points added by plays that player made. This is where sacks, passes defensed, and successes will have a lot of impact, as they effectively reduce the chances of a drive being successful, and lower the other team's expected points for the game. This stat is much less context-sensitive.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 12:50

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Knowshon Moreno is on IR hahahaha this team

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:03

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Cool, now I get to actually talk about my team! Hey, guys, Eric Berry might play this week!!!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:34

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

The Rams need to hire Mike Shula.

Cam is having the best year of his career.

Mike is the right QB coach to bring along Mariota.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:35

No Irish Need Imply: Nov 30, 2008

Bengals WR Marvin Jones is on his way to North Carolina to get his ankle checked out. ESPN Bengals reporter tweeted "Source confirmed the injury dates back to February and that only recently did doctors figure out what was going on with it." :psyduck:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:38

ozymandius1024: Mar 15, 2006; You don't yank on the Spine of God

Atticus Finch posted:

Bengals WR Marvin Jones is on his way to North Carolina to get his ankle checked out. ESPN Bengals reporter tweeted "Source confirmed the injury dates back to February and that only recently did doctors figure out what was going on with it."

Your avatar works perfectly with posts like this.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:39

Kawalimus: Jan 17, 2008; Better Living Through Birding And Pessimism

E_Motion posted:

I don't think anybody's doubting that Watt is a monster and a level above pretty muchevery other defender in the league.

Also, the Ravens were so drat lucky last/this decade having 2 HoFers on the same defense. Too bad the offense was pretty much Boller and more poo poo until Flacco came and even then just mediocre. The Ravens could have been a dynasty!

2004 Ed Reed was unreal. His best year. I was at the game against Miami where he broke the return yards record for a season.

Boller was Billick's downfall. If we had gone and gotten some vet QB like Kerry Collins or Kurt Warner we probably could have won the Superbowl one of those years, especially with JAmal Lewis playing so well in 2003.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:40

No Irish Need Imply: Nov 30, 2008

I feel like this is actually a non-story but it's an interesting take to follow:

quote:

The Cleveland Browns tabled discussions for a Brian Hoyer extension this offseason in hopes that they could work something out at a later date.

But at this point, it sounds like they might have to forfeit a little bit more than cash if they want to lock up a player who has embodied their recent turnaround.

Hoyer had multiple chances to refute a report from Bleacher Report on Monday that suggested Hoyer would not sign in Cleveland long-term with Johnny Manziel on the roster.

"I don't think I need to say anything more than I'm from Cleveland, and this is where I want to be," Hoyer told reporters, via Ohio.com. "But I'm also a competitor, and I want to be somewhere where I'm playing."

He declined to answer a follow-up question.

The development is not necessarily surprising considering that Hoyer has not gone out of his way to sugarcoat his relationship with Manziel. On multiple occasions, the Cleveland native has noted that the two are not best friends.

Depending on how the rest of the season shakes out, though, Hoyer just might be good enough to force Cleveland's hand.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:51

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

They'll probably franchise him in the hopes Johnny "get it" or whatever instead of just trading manziel this year while there's still a market for him.

I guess Knowshon slipped in the shower or something.

quote:

Dolphins placed RB Knowshon Moreno (knee) on injured reserve, ending his season.

Moreno sustained ACL tear during Sunday's Week 6 loss to the Packers, although we didn't see it and the Dolphins made no mention of it. His first season in Miami ends with 31 carries for 148 yards and one touchdown, badly hampered by an offseason knee scope and a Week 2 elbow injury. Moreno will enter free agency again this offseason, this time at 27 years old with even more injury concerns than before when he settled for a one-year, $3M deal from the Dolphins. He'll find scant interest. Lamar Miller, who has been playing at a very high level over the last month, is locked and loaded as Miami's feature back the rest of the way.

FizFashizzle fucked around with this message at 14:02 on Oct 14, 2014

# ? Oct 14, 2014 13:56

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

You can't not post the gif

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:08

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Parmesan Basil posted:

Cool, now I get to actually talk about my team! Hey, guys, Eric Berry might play this week!!!

I hope not

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:12

raminasi: Jan 25, 2005; a last drink with no ice

The Puppy Bowl posted:

The actual trades themselves were the best part. I don't remember the particulars but essentially Kevin Costner turns a 4th overall to a 1st overall and 6 other first rounders. It is god damned ridiculous.

Didn't Trent Baalke do that this year :v:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:16

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

N:

V: This was a good weekend of football.

No it wasn't.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:22

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

Atticus Finch posted:

I feel like this is actually a non-story but it's an interesting take to follow:

Do it Jets, DOOOOO ETTTTT

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:23

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

GrumpyDoctor posted:

Didn't Trent Baalke do that this year

Baalke will turn a third rounder into like five fifth rounders then package three of those to trade back into a third round pick like two slots back. Dude is a wizard.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:24

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

quote:

Dr. Craig Levitz, Chairman of Orthopedic Surgery at South Nassau Communities Hospital and Chief of Sports Medicine, on Cruz:

�I don�t recall a speed player that has made it back anything close to their former self ...... He will be ready to play next season, but he may not be good enough to play after he heals.�

Cruz got a ring and a payday contract which is more then a lot of NFL players can say. He's also a proven endorsement guy who seems to be pretty natural in front of the camera. I think he'll be able to find a broadcast job pretty easily.

davecrazy fucked around with this message at 14:34 on Oct 14, 2014

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:31

No Irish Need Imply: Nov 30, 2008

davecrazy posted:

Do it Jets, DOOOOO ETTTTT

There's no way the Browns give up on Manziel. Maybe after next year if Hoyer is still good.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:42

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

Atticus Finch posted:

There's no way the Browns give up on Manziel. Maybe after next year if Hoyer is still good.

If they can get a 1st for him, why not?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 14:48

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

davecrazy posted:

Cruz got a ring and a payday contract which is more then a lot of NFL players can say. He's also a proven endorsement guy who seems to be pretty natural in front of the camera. I think he'll be able to find a broadcast job pretty easily.

Every single surgeon says this before doing a high profile athlete surgery.

That said, I can't think of a single player who has come back from this. Maybe baker will be able to but he sucks anyway.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 15:16

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

davecrazy posted:

If they can get a 1st for him, why not?

He's cheap and a good backup they've developed in the inevitable hoyer injury.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 15:25

FuzzySkinner: May 23, 2012

davecrazy posted:

If they can get a 1st for him, why not?

We don't know yet if Hoyer is truly as good as advertised yet.

If the Browns are playing football in January? Than yeah, we can begin to have this conversation. But not yet.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 15:26

darkforce898: Sep 11, 2007

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2014/10/14/dallas-cowboys-rb-randle-arrest-for-theft/

quote:

Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle was arrested on Monday for theft in Frisco, 105.3 The Fan has learned.

Frisco Police confirm that the 22-year-old was arrested for Class B Misdemeanor Theft $50-$500, at Dillard�s at Stonebriar Mall.

�The items that were stolen were underwear and cologne,� said Lieutenant Jason Jenkins with Frisco Police. The cologne is valued at approximately $80, while the underwear is worth $40.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:01

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:03

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

What in the world

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:08

Brannigans Law: Oct 3, 2013

darkforce898 posted:

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2014/10/14/dallas-cowboys-rb-randle-arrest-for-theft/

Maybe he's really stingy

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:10

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

lol spending 40 dollars on underwear anywhere but lululemon.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:11

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Hopefully this is one of those cases where he accidentally tossed it in a bag when he had armfulls of stuff and forgot about it rather than is a criminal/loves the rush.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:12

Der Meister: May 12, 2001

$200k signing bonus...$500k salary........better steal this CK One cologne from Dillard's

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:13

Detroit_Dogg: Feb 2, 2008; Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT

Dang dude, hope those Perry Ellis boxer briefs were worth it

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:27

Alfred P. Pseudonym: May 29, 2006; And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

In other Cowboys news, Doug Free is out 3-4 weeks with a foot injury.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:46

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

davecrazy posted:

Cruz got a ring and a payday contract which is more then a lot of NFL players can say. He's also a proven endorsement guy who seems to be pretty natural in front of the camera. I think he'll be able to find a broadcast job pretty easily.

Anecdotal but I tore my patellar tendon in a rugby game 2 years ago and yeah nothings really been the same since.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:51

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

I did a cursory google when it happened and the list of players I saw who had suffered that was pretty much a graveyard of dead careers, so I'm presuming the worst.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:54

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

I am calling black guy in my store rent a cop syndrome on this one. No way you can be that dumb to shoplift cheap cologne from a Dillards.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:01

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

Yeah I'm sure rentacop was just waiting for the right black guy to plant a bottle of cologne on. Also they have it on video

e: To put things in perspective

Jean-Jacques Taylor
Journalist � 2,775 Likes � 1 hr �
Joseph Randle, who will get a paycheck for $31,895.29 before taxes today, was arrested for trying to shoplift some cologne and underwear valued about $120. Really dude?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:02

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

If he was certain he could get away with it, who cares that it wasn't that valuable

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:07

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

$120 of merchandise isn't much to him with his salary, but it's plenty to get the attention of department store security. It's a pretty dumb risk/reward scenario

Also I imagine cologne is a highly shoplifted item from a store like Dillards so they probably keep a close eye on it

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:13

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

I'd like to think there's a sitcom situation that explains this, but probably not.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:15

Rasczak: Mar 30, 2005

darkforce898 posted:

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2014/10/14/dallas-cowboys-rb-randle-arrest-for-theft/

C'MON MAN

Fuckin CTEs are no joke

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:22

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 09:01

Febreeze: Oct 24, 2011; I want to care, butt I dont

Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

In other Cowboys news, Doug Free is out 3-4 weeks with a foot injury.

Well that's good news now we will destroy the Cowboyhahahahaha

kill me

# ? Oct 14, 2014 17:26

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 7 N/V - Random Acts of Violence Against Ospreys and Sheep

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