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  • Locked thread
PrinceRandom
Feb 26, 2013

It seems like a good court system would take a middle age man who is getting divorced for having sex with a minor into consideration when considering custody

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Robot Randy
Dec 31, 2011

by Lowtax
i was at a playground and lost a race to kid and i called him a nerd

my mom got real upset and took me home

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013

Seshoho Cian posted:

My mom was driving me and my friend home from school once and I called him a "homersexual"

My mom then stopped the car and demanded that I apologize

you should have told her off for being a homophobe and asked her what was so wrong about being gay.

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

PrinceRandom posted:

It seems like a good court system would take a middle age man who is getting divorced for having sex with a minor into consideration when considering custody
The relationship was legal and acknowledged by my parents. I'm not sure what any court could have done about it. Also I don't know where everybody is getting the "middle aged" from, he was like 25.

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013

Cardiovorax posted:

The relationship was legal and acknowledged by my parents. I'm not sure what any court could have done about it. Also I don't know where everybody is getting the "middle aged" from, he was like 25.

lol, which something awful mod was he

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice

Cardiovorax posted:

The relationship was legal and acknowledged by my parents. I'm not sure what any court could have done about it. Also I don't know where everybody is getting the "middle aged" from, he was like 25.


your parents are beta as gently caress

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Morkyz posted:

lol, which something awful mod was he
I don't think this place existed back then.

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice
lol what parent lets their child get buttfucked by the paedo next door

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013

Cardiovorax posted:

I don't think this place existed back then.

so which something awful mod did he become

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice
are there any gay european mods??

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
I was playing with a box turtle on a second story deck on the railing. I knew it was probably a bad idea, and low and behold he suddenly fell off and landed upside down on a concrete walking pad-circle thing. It made an extremely loud CRACK.

I ran down there in complete panic and was relieved to see it was desperately trying to flip over instead of being extremely dead. I flipped it over and... the shell had cracked. I started crying but I was too ashamed to tell anyone because I was like 6 or something.

It walked off and I thought maybe it'd be okay but a few days later I found it dead with ants crawling out of its eye sockets.

urgh

I tried to kill the ants ... for some reason... with soy sauce, the first liquid I found ...

Starving Autist
Oct 20, 2007

by Ralp

Cardiovorax posted:

The relationship was legal and acknowledged by my parents. I'm not sure what any court could have done about it. Also I don't know where everybody is getting the "middle aged" from, he was like 25.

an american court with the objectively correct age of consent laws could have done the right thing, but alas

Keg
Sep 22, 2014

Cardiovorax posted:

The relationship was legal and acknowledged by my parents. I'm not sure what any court could have done about it. Also I don't know where everybody is getting the "middle aged" from, he was like 25.

I'm sure it was easy to convince yourself that everything was cool with getting plowed by a 25 year old when you were at a time in your development when a shower curtain brushing up against your leg could give you a boner, but please at least acknowledge that a 25 year old adult man having sex with a 14 year old is really gross and creepy.

As a denizen of the gay thread which exists under my protection, this is all that is asked of you.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Choco1980 posted:

Oh wait, I think I have one. When I was seven or eight, I had a babysitter who would have a number of kids at any given time come to her house at once instead of her going to theirs. Anyways, I was really curious about what girls looked like naked, and convinced a three year old to take off her clothes in front of me. The babysitter wasn't amused when she walked in. I still feel creepy about it today, even though at the time I was too young to even properly undestand what sex was.

You should turn your self into the police for being a pedophile rapist.

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

It's weird how the guy who made a 3 year old get naked got younger in his second post but the rape victim got older

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Choco1980 posted:

I would agree if I wasn't 7 like I said and had no idea what lady parts even were at the time other than "not a peepee". Still pretty terrible though.

doesn't matter you're a pedophile

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Keg posted:

I'm sure it was easy to convince yourself that everything was cool with getting plowed by a 25 year old when you were at a time in your development when a shower curtain brushing up against your leg could give you a boner, but please at least acknowledge that a 25 year old adult man having sex with a 14 year old is really gross and creepy.

As a denizen of the gay thread which exists under my protection, this is all that is asked of you.
It probably was. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, the whole thing could've gone much worse than it did. I just got lucky to hook up with a weak-willed nerd who gave me everything I asked for.

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013

Cardiovorax posted:

It probably was. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, the whole thing could've gone much worse than it did. I just got lucky to hook up with a weak-willed nerd who gave me everything I asked for.

so was it aatrek or redshirt

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice
there is a simple test to gauge whether this guy was an actual paedo or just a german.

does he like star trek?

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

RideTheSpiral posted:

there is a simple test to gauge whether this guy was an actual paedo or just a german.

does he like star trek?
No. At least, not back then.

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013

Cardiovorax posted:

No. At least, not back then.

do you like star trek

DragQueenofAngmar
Dec 29, 2009

You shall not pass!
also lol at yr parents for not only being chill about your creepy neighbor loving you but also apparently being chill about him cheating on his wife and being like w/e

just another fun little detail about the story

Randler
Jan 3, 2013

ACER ET VEHEMENS BONAVIS
Homosexual (male gay) relationships between adults (18+) and minors (<18) were illegal in Germany up until the mid-90s. :eng101:

Randler fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Oct 17, 2014

Robert Red Rocket
Apr 28, 2013

CHEATED ON HIS WIFE, SLEPT WITH PROSTITUTES ON FBI TAPES, JACQUELINE KENNEDY SAID MLK WAS TAPE-RECORDED BY FBI PLANNING A SEX PARTY
And I thought I was horrible for locking an old lady inside a changing room when I noticed that the doors have bolts on both sides.

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Morkyz posted:

do you like star trek
No. It's boring as poo poo.

Morkyz
Aug 6, 2013
i killed 15 people ND SACRIFICED THEM to the devil

haha kids will be kids lol

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice

Randler posted:

Homosexual relationships between adults (18+) and minors (<18) were illegal in Germany up until the mid-90s. :eng101:


now you can be any age and gently caress a 14 year old

Faux-Ass Nonsense
Feb 9, 2013

by Lowtax
fwiw Cardiovorax, i think it was brave & selfless of you to put your anus around his dick in order to prevent it from entering other teens

Starving Autist
Oct 20, 2007

by Ralp

Randler posted:

Homosexual relationships between adults (18+) and minors (<18) were illegal in Germany up until the mid-90s. :eng101:

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



DragQueenofAngmar posted:

also lol at yr parents for not only being chill about your creepy neighbor loving you but also apparently being chill about him cheating on his wife and being like w/e

at least he wasn't torturing animals which means he was still less of a hosed up broken-brained weirdo than apparently many other goons

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice


this guy seems cool and nice. id let him gently caress my children no doubt

PrinceRandom
Feb 26, 2013

Randler posted:

Homosexual (male gay) relationships between adults (18+) and minors (<18) were illegal in Germany up until the mid-90s. :eng101:

Seems sensible for both queers and breeders

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice

Phlegmish posted:

at least he wasn't torturing animals which means he was still less of a hosed up broken-brained weirdo than apparently many other goons


I think if you read the thread you will find that he was, in fact, also torturing animals

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



RideTheSpiral posted:

this guy seems cool and nice. id let him gently caress my children no doubt

i'd offer to drive them to a motel. hell, i'd give him tips on penetrating my pubescent son's nubile rear end, that's the kind of supportive parent i am

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

RideTheSpiral posted:

I think if you read the thread you will find that he was, in fact, also torturing animals
They were ants and I was five. :mad:

Randler
Jan 3, 2013

ACER ET VEHEMENS BONAVIS

Phlegmish posted:

i'd offer to drive them to a motel. hell, i'd give him tips on penetrating my pubescent son's nubile rear end, that's the kind of supportive parent i am

I'm sorry I ever doubted your claims of being from Belgium.

Starving Autist
Oct 20, 2007

by Ralp

Cardiovorax posted:

They were ants and I was five. :mad:

you could have humanely killed them with raid, you monster

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice

Phlegmish posted:

i'd offer to drive them to a motel. hell, i'd give him tips on penetrating my pubescent son's nubile rear end, that's the kind of supportive parent i am


you can make a tax claim on that in germany

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

no they will not posted:

I missed this post lmao

jeez..

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Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



Randler posted:

I'm sorry I ever doubted your claims of being from Belgium.

yeah lots of people falsely claim to be from belgium because it's so cool and exotic

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