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Since we have an ask me about being tall thread by a guy who's really tall, I figure it's time to have an ask me about being short thread by someone who's really short. At 31 years old and 4'2" tall, I probably fit that requirement. Five or six years back I did a thread about being a dwarf, and it was really interesting to see what people assumed or wanted to know. Anyhow, moving on: I was born with achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism. Neither of my parents is a dwarf, nor is anyone in the extended family on either side or historically that we know of. Current studies seem to relate spontaneous mutations like mine to the age of the father, both of my parents were in their mid-30s when they had me. Achondroplasia basically means that I have an average torso and short arms and legs, with a few other physical oddities thrown in like some facial structure stuff that caused me to have three minor and one major jaw surgery before I was 14. There are some long-term medical issues for achondroplasia, like bow legs and knee problems, but nothing so severe as other types of dwarfism and most of them generally controlled through keeping weight off, but not always. I was born with kneecaps lower than where they should be, but the doctor wasn't sure if that was the dwarfism or just a random thing. Because my torso is average, it's possible to tell about how tall I'd have been without the genetic screwup that caused my legs to be short -- judging by how tall I am when sitting by my mom, who's 5'9", I'd have been between 5'9" and 5'10" tall. The irony that I would have been a somewhat tall woman is not lost on me. Much like the world is not designed for super tall people, it is also not designed for super short people. I have to use stools for things like using a stove or counter space, and pedal extenders in order to drive. Buying clothes is a nightmare, at least in the pants department, because my hip area is average but I have short legs and my spinal curve makes my butt stick out somewhat more than the average person. I have never sat in a proper chair where my feet touched the ground -- I'm not counting low step stools or the like. I'm not sure if people will have many, if any, questions about dwarfism or just being really short in a world that was not sized for really short people, but if so, ask away!
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Oct 17, 2014 07:34
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This feels like a 'cheat' question, but what would you say is the thing which is most taken for granted by people of average height in terms of accessibility? I'm guessing door handles, but...
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Oct 17, 2014 10:49
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Is there surgery to be had for your condition, I am thinking of the procedures where they break the legs and arms and stretch them to give a few extra inches. Or is it something you would not consider worthwhile?
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Oct 17, 2014 12:21
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I've gotta ask, what was your personal reaction to the "ask me about being tall" thread? Edit: Also, how does your diet compare to someone of average height? Could you, say, survive comfortably on 1000 calories a day? Not a Children fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Oct 17, 2014 |
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Oct 17, 2014 15:24
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What's your dating life like?
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Oct 17, 2014 16:29
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The_White_Crane posted:This feels like a 'cheat' question, but what would you say is the thing which is most taken for granted by people of average height in terms of accessibility? His Divine Shadow posted:Is there surgery to be had for your condition, I am thinking of the procedures where they break the legs and arms and stretch them to give a few extra inches. Or is it something you would not consider worthwhile? Not a Children posted:I've gotta ask, what was your personal reaction to the "ask me about being tall" thread? Diet is weird. There is no consensus. Some doctors say eat a normal diet, some say eat 1000 per day, and everything in between. I struggle with weight because of knee problems and so I generally try to stay between 1000 and 1200 calories a day. I can survive comfortably on that but like everyone, I have my moments of splurging on things like chips and salsa. photomikey posted:What's your dating life like? The question that tends to come up after that one is whether I date dwarfs or average-sized men and women. The answer is that I have not dated any dwarfs but it hasn't been for unwillingness; more that there aren't a lot of them around and the ones I've met have been married for the most part. This turns the Little People of America Association conventions each year into kind of a trolling ground for hookups, something I didn't realize at the last one I went to when I was 12 years old, but looking back and talking to my mom... there were a lot of one-night stands going on. We still joke about the "stud patrols" of guys at the conventions who would get all dressed up and go obviously prowling for women.
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Oct 17, 2014 18:20
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Does it bother you when people who are just at the shorter end of the average, no-dwarfism spectrum complain about being short? I'm 5'2, and while I generally have to climb up onto stools a few times a day, ask people to help me get things off of the top shelf at the store, etc, that's really nothing compared to what you have to deal with. Also, how do you handle finding clothing that you like, that fits well, etc? I can't imagine shopping in the kid's department is rewarding or offers anything particularly well-fitting, or really is anything but embarrassing and insulting. Are there websites or stores that specialize in decent, affordable clothing for your body type? I'm assuming shirts/underwear aren't as big of a deal as pants/longer coats, since your torso is the same size as the target market for most of the available clothing, but.. pants are important and often more expensive that shirts.
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Oct 18, 2014 23:53
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It doesn't bother me as such, but I might roll my eyes now and then if they whine about it constantly. As for clothes, it's kind of just a crapshoot. Kids department is out of the question because my torso (and chest) are average adult size. I buy regular shirts and, if they're long-sleeved, cut down the sleeves and hem them. I've basically stopped wearing pants at this point, which is way less exciting than it sounds because what it means is that I just make my own skirts because it's so much easier. There aren't special clothing stores for dwarfs that I know of, there might be some online somewhere but generally anything made specifically for a disability is so expensive anyhow that I likely wouldn't bother.
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Oct 19, 2014 04:24
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Tendai posted:It doesn't bother me as such, but I might roll my eyes now and then if they whine about it constantly. Ooh I'm glad to hear you sew, I figured that would make things a lot easier but felt it would be an rear end in a top hat move to be all "YOU SHOULD LEARN TO SEW." drat, I googled, and the averages are $90-$130 for a simple dress, $30-$60 for a skirt, and $45-$70 for a shirt. That's ridiculous, especially for pre-made poo poo. For that kind of money, you could get on Etsy or Stanford Row and have
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Oct 19, 2014 05:11
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Do you get a lot of people who uncomfortably dance around the topic of your build? Are people afraid to make even pedestrian observations about you, or are they all too ready to chime in about how short you are? Which would bother you more? Are you called a midget a lot, and if so does that bother you? I remember once having an aimless conversation with a coworker once, and I have totally forgotten all prior context, but I had mentioned how midget probably wasn't a very polite thing to call someone, but she had no idea that was the case and had just assumed that was the proper name for the condition. Is that something you have observed?
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Oct 19, 2014 05:24
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oval office raja posted:Ooh I'm glad to hear you sew, I figured that would make things a lot easier but felt it would be an rear end in a top hat move to be all "YOU SHOULD LEARN TO SEW." Baron Von Pigeon posted:Do you get a lot of people who uncomfortably dance around the topic of your build? Are people afraid to make even pedestrian observations about you, or are they all too ready to chime in about how short you are? Which would bother you more? Are you called a midget a lot, and if so does that bother you? Midget is not a term often used these days except in insults or by people who are pretty ignorant. It has connotations of circus freaks and side-shows so it's generally taken as a pretty offensive thing and I haven't ever had it thrown at me without it being meant as offensive or by someone who didn't know better. The proper term is dwarf or, god help us, little people, which I hate because I think it sounds demeaning but our organization is the Little People of America so WELP.
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Oct 19, 2014 06:33
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I guess a follow up would be are you also bothered by aid you weren't looking for? Ordinarily it isn't the sort of comparison I would draw, but I've known a couple blind people in my life and they were endlessly vexed by people trying to help them when they didn't ask for it. What might seem like courtesy ends up being a rude gesture and treating a person perfectly capable of doing something as someone who isn't. Does it bother you if someone tries to help you do something or reach something that you had every intent of doing yourself when you didn't ask for or expect their help?
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Oct 19, 2014 09:06
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Baron Von Pigeon posted:I guess a follow up would be are you also bothered by aid you weren't looking for? Ordinarily it isn't the sort of comparison I would draw, but I've known a couple blind people in my life and they were endlessly vexed by people trying to help them when they didn't ask for it. What might seem like courtesy ends up being a rude gesture and treating a person perfectly capable of doing something as someone who isn't.
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Oct 19, 2014 16:07
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Tendai posted:I looked at furniture built specifically for dwarfs once just as a lark, thinking it would be neat to have a chair that I actually fit in, and it was a few thousand dollars for the barest, most minimal thing.. Dang, that's ridiculous. Have you done a lot of repurposing of furniture to better suit your needs? Nightstands as dressers, coffee tables as regular tables, footstools as chairs, etc..? I imagine it would be quite exhausting to use taller furniture all the time.
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Oct 19, 2014 17:26
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After 31 years it doesn't seem like that big a deal anymore. I had hernia surgery this summer and I only then realized how much I use my stomach muscles to do things like get up into chairs and such; my mom thought it was hilarious that I just then realized instead of, you know, decades ago. Mostly I just manage with what's around me, I've never been settled enough to accumulate a lot of furniture to begin with.
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Oct 20, 2014 02:55
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I like this topic for I know next to nothing about it. I kind of hate to bring up Peter Dinklage here, because it looks like too obvious, but he was the first person through whom I could learn a bit about dwarfism. He has a thing or two to say about self-esteem as well.  How did your parents deal with this? Were they overprotective or more treated you as if you could do everything like any other kid, or whatever else? There was this guy I knew back in the days who was born with polio, and he could never walk right. His father really pushed him to never ever feel inferior, never did him any undue favours, and it paid out. That guy had more charisma and presence in a room than the real Santa Claus, even if he preferred to keep a low profile, all thanks to his father. Reading between the lines, it looks like your parents, your mother in particular, were/are supportive.
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Oct 20, 2014 03:16
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Peter Dinklage is awesome. Before he came around, the main dwarf people knew from movies or TV was Vern Troyer in the Austin Powers movies. Watching those parts and then having people stare at me outside the theater was mortifying. Having someone who's an actor who happens to be a dwarf rather than a dwarf actor (if that makes any sense) has been amazing. My parents divorced when I was six or so, nothing to do with me and everything to do with my dad's tendency to cheat. I'm not sure how he dealt with it because I've never asked him, we're not really close. My mom has wavered between being over-protective and too hands-off all my life, generally settling in the middle. I was allowed to grow up and gently caress up but with the knowledge that there were some things that would be harder or that I'd need help with.
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Oct 20, 2014 04:23
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Tendai posted:Having someone who's an actor who happens to be a dwarf rather than a dwarf actor (if that makes any sense) has been amazing. It does make sense. Also, he says that he's always refused the circus kind of roles. Since he totally rules as Tyrion, I believe he's indirectly doing a lot of good for the dwarf community.  I have another question: what has been your toughest challenge, one that you won over? Unrelated, but you're closer to the flowers than I ever will be. You only need to bend to smell one, while I need to crunch. 
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Oct 20, 2014 04:55
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Pilli posted:It does make sense. Also, he says that he's always refused the circus kind of roles. Since he totally rules as Tyrion, I believe he's indirectly doing a lot of good for the dwarf community. That question is hard enough that I read this last night and left it because I had to think about it. I would say that the toughest challenge for me was probably one that's tough for just about anyone -- leaving home. Not only did I move from a small fishing town in Alaska to a place in California, but I was suddenly on my own in a way that I hadn't been before. Prior to moving down to California at the age of eighteen I had never, for example, gone grocery shopping on my own. I soon learned why dwarfs hate it and why there's a specific term for hating it -- Safeway Syndrome. Everything you want is out of reach, carts don't fit, and it's a lot of walking. It's basically an experience that has almost no mitigating factors for someone with height and joint issues. Beyond that, I suddenly had to cook every meal for myself, and figure out how to do laundry without falling into the washing machine since it was a top-loader. I knew the basics of how things were done in day to day life but there was always the fallback of Mom at home; she cooked most of the meals and did laundry, that sort of thing. Having to do that on my own and figure out how to be actually independent was really, really hard. I still hate grocery shopping and cooking is still hard, but I manage now. Luckily, my roommate does the laundry for us so I don't have to worry about falling into the washing machine.
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Oct 20, 2014 16:09
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Has anyone ever mistaken you for a child? I did that once, tried to ID a couple of dwarfs when they brought GTA 3.
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Oct 21, 2014 09:23
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Chupe Raho Aurat posted:Has anyone ever mistaken you for a child? I think some kids tricked you bro
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Oct 21, 2014 09:43
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How do you feel about the Tall thread getting so much more attention and replies?
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Oct 21, 2014 10:25
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Do people ever try to pick you up, and think they're helping?
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Oct 21, 2014 12:51
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Chupe Raho Aurat posted:Has anyone ever mistaken you for a child? Arnold of Soissons posted:How do you feel about the Tall thread getting so much more attention and replies? thrakkorzog posted:Do people ever try to pick you up, and think they're helping?
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Oct 21, 2014 18:13
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I am on the other end of the height spectrum, 6'6" to be exact, and after reading this realized we have similar issues our height causes. For instance, I recently rented a house that was built in the 40's and I actually have to sit in a chair to use the only viable kitchen space for knife-work! When it comes to clothing, I am expected to be 350 pounds or prefer capri (spelling?) pants. Furniture, cars, public transportation and just about everything else tends to present unique obstacles for both excessively tall and short people in our culture. I've never had the opportunity to openly ask questions to someone with dwarfism, unless I wanted to come off as a prick at Best Buy or something. Thus, I can say that I am a bit excited to see how the other half overcomes some of the problems I too deal with -- albeit to a lesser extent I am sure. I suppose it is time for me to actually ask my question (or two  ):What would you say is the most frustrating piece of furniture you wish was custom made for your height -- not just in your home, but was normalized for small people everywhere? If you could clear up one misconception, or stereotype, of little people, what would it be? I don't have any examples except that I don't play basketball so people need to stop asking what loving position I played in high school 
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Oct 22, 2014 05:45
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Instead of some one just randomly "helping" you out would you be offended if they asked before hand if they could lend a hand? Stuck being over sized so I just do it out of habit before most people ask so I never considered I may have been a dick to some one. Another reason why I asked is my mother has been in a wheel chair and for the longest time was bounded and determined that she was going to do ever drat thing possible her self and would thank people for help but often be a little pissed off about it. When it comes to furniture your size have you ever thought about building it your self or getting help? I know some things might be hard or impossible to use right out of the box tool wise but its not to hard to build stuff with a few books and videos. This one is right out of the movies. Have people not close to you ever just tried to randomly pick you up?
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Oct 22, 2014 09:25
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Is there any particular thing where you don't mind if someone helps you out without asking? As an analogy, if I see somebody with their hands full walking towards the same door as me, I just hold the door open for them to be polite. Technically, yeah, that UPS guy could have opened the door himself, but it's costs me maybe 10 seconds to hold the door and make life easier for him. Nobody was ever accused of diminishing the accomplishments of the UPS guy by holding the door open for him. thrakkorzog fucked around with this message at 11:11 on Oct 22, 2014 |
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Oct 22, 2014 10:38
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Darth Freddy posted:Instead of some one just randomly "helping" you out would you be offended if they asked before hand if they could lend a hand? Stuck being over sized so I just do it out of habit before most people ask so I never considered I may have been a dick to some one. Kitchen counters would be the big thing (ha) that I'd want brought down. Couches and stuff, it doesn't really matter -- once you're on, you're sitting. But cooking is a trial that hurts my knees and ends up getting me frustrated by the end, which is annoying because I actually like the process of it, it's just physically difficult for me to do. thrakkorzog posted:Is there any particular thing where you don't mind if someone helps you out without asking?
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Oct 22, 2014 18:18
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Thread antecedent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaxft8-LK88 ===== You mentioned being glad Dinklage is doing what he's doing. Are there any well known dwarf advocates -- like a Cesar Chavez for little people? Edit: phone autocorrected "little people" to "peyote people."
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Oct 22, 2014 22:47
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Sheep-Goats posted:Thread antecedent: Advocates in that sense, not really. The only one I'm really aware of was Billy Barty, an actor who founded the Little People of America Association (or Association of America, I can never remember). Aside from that... not really.
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Oct 22, 2014 23:43
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It might be a niche question but can you hold hands with a regular size partner? As in don't you get tired arms from holding them up or straighter forward? Cool thread btw.
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Oct 23, 2014 09:47
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I went to elementary school with a girl with dwarfism, and her family adopted another little girl with dwarfism who was about 8 months younger than their own daughter not too long after she was born. I thought that was really cool of them to even think to do, since a special needs child is going to already have such a difficult time finding a family willing to take on the responsibility. I don't know how else to explain it without sounding incredibly patronizing like they were doing her a favor or something, but I guess it was really heartwarming that they each had someone to deal with those regular annoyances on a day to day basis and I thought it was just a really awesome thing to do. I don't really have a question, just wanted to share because they were both really cool people and the one who was my age was a regular over at my house when we were kids.
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Oct 23, 2014 14:39
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Zedd posted:It might be a niche question but can you hold hands with a regular size partner? As in don't you get tired arms from holding them up or straighter forward? Honestly I've never had a partner that was way into like, strolling around holding hands, possibly because I keep living in desert cities where that would be a hot sweaty nightmare. But yes it'd probably get kind of annoying after awhile holding my arm up. copper rose petal posted:I went to elementary school with a girl with dwarfism, and her family adopted another little girl with dwarfism who was about 8 months younger than their own daughter not too long after she was born. I thought that was really cool of them to even think to do, since a special needs child is going to already have such a difficult time finding a family willing to take on the responsibility. I don't know how else to explain it without sounding incredibly patronizing like they were doing her a favor or something, but I guess it was really heartwarming that they each had someone to deal with those regular annoyances on a day to day basis and I thought it was just a really awesome thing to do. I don't really have a question, just wanted to share because they were both really cool people and the one who was my age was a regular over at my house when we were kids.
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Oct 23, 2014 15:50
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If you're in a public place and come across another person with dwarfism would you approach them and say hi? Do you have many dwarf friends? Do you ever go to theme parks? Most roller coasters have height requirements so I'm guess a trip to six flags would be pretty boring for you. Also, do you get drunk really easily since you don't weigh very much?
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Oct 26, 2014 21:26
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MrWilderheap posted:If you're in a public place and come across another person with dwarfism would you approach them and say hi? Do you have many dwarf friends? I haven't lived in places with theme parks for a long time, but generally I prefer water parks. Swimming is one of the few places where I'm on a much more even level with other people. And no, I do not. The thing to remember is that while I have the upper thigh and arm bones of someone short, I have the muscle mass and torso and head of someone who is average size, so it's not like I weight 80 pounds even when I'm at the healthiest weight. I get drunk more or less normally, inasmuch as I've watched other people get drunk.
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Oct 27, 2014 02:23
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Thanks for replying, sorry if my question came across as me assuming all dwarfs know each other or something. I guess I asked because I was just thinking that it would be a rare occasion to come across someone else of your height, but yeah I can definitely see how people thinking "oh you must know my other dwarf friend!" would get really annoying. How about driving a car? I know some people who can't use the pedals for whatever reason sometimes have gas/brake levers up by the steering wheel. Do you need a setup like that in order to drive? Thanks for making the thread it's really interesting!
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Oct 27, 2014 05:12
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You did nothing offensive! But it's hard to answer that question without sounding a little bitchy, for me. I have pedal extenders that I've had since high school that have come with me through three successive cars, which is good because if I remember right they were around $500 and of course insurance doesn't pay for them. I've always wanted to experiment with the hand controls but that tends to be extra money and I've learned how to drive with my feet so I imagine bad things happening when I just want to turn on the windshield wipers.
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Oct 27, 2014 06:33
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Since you drive, do you have a standard class-c unrestricted drivers' license? I'm curious because I once saw a list of restriction codes for the NY DMV (a state I've never lived it but I assume others are similar) and it had all sorts of unusual restrictions/permissions available, including requiring power steering/brakes, requiring an automatic transmission, etc. Do you have a handicap placard or license plate? What kind of car do you drive, if you don't mind my asking? I'm a guy 6'1" or so and people call me tall often enough that it starts to confuse me (I don't think I'm tall.) For what it's worth, counters in kitchens are usually annoyingly low for me to use comfortably, though obviously not to the same extent as you. Thanks for posting this thread, it's already been very interesting.
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Oct 27, 2014 07:27
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If you magically had the option to be of a more statistically average height, would you take it? And/or have you found some silver linings to your size that really make it worth it? Do you feel that it gives you an interesting (or relatively unique) perspective on society? You sound pretty comfortable with yourself and who you are, which is awesome. Did you 'get over' (your words, I think) your height early on and pretty easily, or was it harder and more drawn out?
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Oct 27, 2014 18:21
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what are you eating under there
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Oct 27, 2014 19:17
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