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Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011
My cat will only lie in a north-sorth orientation. I have tried adjusting its position to face a different direction and the cat becomes very uncomfortable before standing and laying down in a new spot, still in a north-south orientation. Nothing I do seems capable of changing this behavior.

For instance, I rotated the chair the cat always napped on but now its sleeping on the couch instead. It adjusted seamlessly to its new spot, to conform to its strange rule. I've done some other tricks but to no avail.

is this something i should be concerned about? i think it is but i dont know.

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Spacedad
Sep 11, 2001

We go play orbital catch around the curvature of the earth, son.
Press cat's nose to reboot to factory settings.

Sekenr
Dec 12, 2013




What you should do is reorient yourself in the same axis. The beast is clearly on to something

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

it's trying to show you the way to a leprechauns' pot of gold, take it on a walk and watch which way its head is pointing when it decides to lay down and then go that way until it stares at the ground when it lays down

Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

it's trying to show you the way to a leprechauns' pot of gold, take it on a walk and watch which way its head is pointing when it decides to lay down and then go that way until it stares at the ground when it lays down

how would the cat know this?

Spacedad
Sep 11, 2001

We go play orbital catch around the curvature of the earth, son.

Sekenr posted:

What you should do is reorient yourself in the same axis. The beast is clearly on to something

Incorrect procedure. Refer to cat manual: Hover body horizontally above cat, at fixed rate of rotation for maximum UMLAU-T energy conversion.

Hefty Leftist
Jun 26, 2011

"You know how vodka or whiskey are distilled multiple times to taste good? It's the same with shit. After being digested for the third time shit starts to taste reeeeeeaaaally yummy."


it's facing mecca, you should let your cat pray peacefully, inshallah

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

Tiler Kiwi posted:

how would the cat know this?

you're kidding right? cats know how to vanish into thin air so why wouldn't it know other supernatural things?

Spacedad
Sep 11, 2001

We go play orbital catch around the curvature of the earth, son.

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

you're kidding right? cats know how to vanish into thin air so why wouldn't it know other supernatural things?

Please report all invisible cats to your local Pussy-Patrol secret police operative.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

Spacedad posted:

Please report all invisible cats to your local Pussy-Patrol secret police operative.

i've tried this, the little bastards get warning somehow and always appear like nothing's happened when the po po actually show up

Spacedad
Sep 11, 2001

We go play orbital catch around the curvature of the earth, son.

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

i've tried this, the little bastards get warning somehow and always appear like nothing's happened when the po po actually show up

They have a tough job, catching pussy in the act.


Try opening an emergency jar of 1970's lemonade adverts for feline distraction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul8kwZy75Yc

Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011
poked cat in nose as advised: cat made funny face for a moment, but did not change position.

Spacedad
Sep 11, 2001

We go play orbital catch around the curvature of the earth, son.

Tiler Kiwi posted:

poked cat in nose as advised: cat made funny face for a moment, but did not change position.

Facial interface indicates problem has been resolved. Cat is now facing in correct posture; magnetic alignment of earth has been reversed.

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010

your cat is full of magnets

Panamaniac
Jun 18, 2007

HEROES NEVER DIE
What does your cat think of trains?

Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011
cat is currently curled up, i dont know how to judge this

Just Burgs
Jan 15, 2011

Gravy Boat 2k
One cat always lies (north south)

The other always tells the truth

Spacedad
Sep 11, 2001

We go play orbital catch around the curvature of the earth, son.

Tiler Kiwi posted:

cat is currently curled up, i dont know how to judge this

ABORT! ABORT! MISSION COMPROMISED!


Deploying Grandma unit in chopper for immediate extraction. Activate cookie-shaped skyhook over glass of milk.

nockturne
Aug 5, 2008

Soiled Meat

Tiler Kiwi posted:

cat is currently curled up, i dont know how to judge this

Dude, you're supposed to boop it on the nose, not poke it. It's obviously crashed now and you'll just have to let it reboop in it's own time.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
your cat is in line with the universe

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010

dont forget to turn your cat over halfway through its nap

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

Tiler Kiwi posted:

cat is currently curled up, i dont know how to judge this

you missed your chance to find the pot of gold, the leprechaun moved it somewhere the cat has never been

Just Burgs
Jan 15, 2011

Gravy Boat 2k

Tiler Kiwi posted:

cat is currently curled up, i dont know how to judge this

It is now safe to turn off your cat

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010

cat sounds faulty suggest trading it in for a real pet like a dog or six rats

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
gently adjust the cat toward the full moon

David Copperfield
Mar 14, 2004


im david copperfield
Cat is maximizing sun exposure due to insufficient opportunities for photosynthesis throughout the house

Tiler Kiwi
Feb 26, 2011
do you think getting another cat might help? i dont want two cats with the same issue, though.

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010

register your cat online and receive free technical support

David Copperfield
Mar 14, 2004


im david copperfield

Tiler Kiwi posted:

do you think getting another cat might help? i dont want two cats with the same issue, though.

If they are magnetized in opposite directions you could spin them and generate electricity east-west

Viridiant
Nov 7, 2009

Big PP Energy

Tiler Kiwi posted:

do you think getting another cat might help? i dont want two cats with the same issue, though.

Actually, if you gently bump your cat's nose up against the nose of another cat, they should recalibrate.

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010

*pokes cat with a wrench, chews thoughtfully*

yea ahve seen this befoah, happens from time ta time with this model, gonna hav ta order in a part from the distributor, take abou six weeks

Spacedad
Sep 11, 2001

We go play orbital catch around the curvature of the earth, son.

Tiler Kiwi posted:

do you think getting another cat might help? i dont want two cats with the same issue, though.

Tune your television to channel 467 and hit the 'pause' button. Turn brightness and contrast up to max, and change color balance until screen is saturated pink.

Position you cat in front of a television screen comfortably and relaxed. Stand/crouch/scuttle-crawl/lay near your cat in such a way that you are staring at the cat's body or head partly obscuring the screen. Stare sufficiently until your eyes have burned in the saturation of the screen.

Now quickly look away and shut your eyes. You will see a cat-shaped after-image. Open your eyes and look next to your cat.

You now will have access to twice your cat's capabilities. This is a technique known as feline overclocking. Be careful that your pussy does not overheat whilst attempting this. Keep glasses of R. White's lemonade within arm's reach.

A. Beaverhausen
Nov 11, 2008

by R. Guyovich
My cat alternates between acting like I don't exist unless she wants out and never leaving my side/insisting on lying on my chest and/or head. Is this a factory issue?

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Spacedad
Sep 11, 2001

We go play orbital catch around the curvature of the earth, son.

A. Beaverhausen posted:

My cat alternates between acting like I don't exist unless she wants out and never leaving my side/insisting on lying on my chest and/or head. Is this a factory issue?

Common problem. Feline operating correctly but you are phasing in/out of reality. See your local Burger Church deacon for surgical beef-injection.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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