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Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!
what does sf smell like? pee?

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etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Fetus Tree posted:

what does sf smell like? pee?

Basically, it has a fairly large population of insane homeless people around places like Civic Center.

A BART elevator also got shut down at said metro stop by human poo poo too.

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

etalian posted:

lmao according to rich dad magazine Forbes:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/morganbrennan/2012/07/26/houston-tops-our-list-of-americas-coolest-cities-to-live/


1. Houston
2. DC
3. LA
4. Dallas
5. Seattle
6. San Diego
7. Boston
8. Orange County
9. SF
10. NYC
11. San Antonio
12. Chicago
13. Fort Worth
14. Baltimore
15. Philadelphia
16. Oakland
17. Bethesda
18. Minneapolis
19. Austin
20. Denver

Holy gently caress.

Like, if they were just staying with money and they were like "these are the best places to move because no taxes" then yes, they might have a point. But as "cool" cities...this last makes no sense.

Uncool people are a lot like ghosts though, they never though they are uncool. It is kind of a tragedy.

The Whole Internet
May 26, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Every Forbes list is basically "which city's chamber of commerce gives the best blowjobs"?

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

I lolled at how Houston was number 1 even though it's basically a hideous must have a car sprawl that's close to piles of pollution producing energy refining sites.

Orange County/Colorado Springs own in that they serve as the spock's beard places to LA/Denver.

etalian fucked around with this message at 01:06 on Oct 20, 2014

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

etalian posted:

I lolled at how Houston was number 1 even though it's basically a hideous must have a car sprawl that's close to piles of pollution producing energy refining sites.

Orange County/Colorado Springs own in that they serve as the spock's beard places to LA/Denver.

Zoning Free=Multicultural Mashup.

Is what the article said.

...how do you even explain to uncool people?

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

That list is pretty much "best cities to live in when you're rich as gently caress" anyway.

appropriatemetaphor
Jan 26, 2006

New york is like a river, you can just jump in and it'll take you somewhere exciting.

Los angeles is like a big lake, you can sit there and relax and maybe it'll suck, but if you put in some effort and paddle around you can find rad hidden places.

the worst thing is
Oct 3, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
I agree with everything said about boston in this thread. It's neither cool nor uncool, very academic and knowledgey, but also quaint, elitist, and a little racist. I would add provincial and a bit conservative compared to the wild west (remnants of frontier culture). And it's my home

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

Tautologicus posted:

I agree with everything said about boston in this thread. It's neither cool nor uncool, very academic and knowledgey, but also quaint, elitist, and a little racist. I would add provincial and a bit conservative compared to the wild west (remnants of frontier culture). And it's my home

I went from New York to Boston, and after five days in New York, I was kind of used to things being really fast-paced and no-nonsense. When I came to the bus counter (to get a bus ticket to Maine), the two guys behind it were just chatting, and didn't notice me for, 15, 20 seconds. After NYC, that was a bit annoying.

One thing I realized about NYC is that the people there aren't rude...they just show politeness by being really prompt. People in Portland or other parts of the west show politeness by being personal. In Boston, people were neither prompt nor personal. :(

Selim Sivad
Sep 2, 2008

by Ralp
Hey guys, I spent less than a day in a bunch of cities and am now fully qualified to rate their coolness.

OP is the most touristy tourist. Probably spent his time in NYC dicking around Times Square and looking for Famous Ray's

Homura and Sickle
Apr 21, 2013
Of the OP cities I've lived in Denver, St. Louis, San Francisco, and currently live in Boston. Boston sucks a lot of balls OP what's cool about this poorly planned shithole please advise

edit; oh i see its in the "neither cool nor uncool" but tbh this place is a lot worse than St. Louis which fell squarely in your uncool list

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

Selim Sivad posted:

Hey guys, I spent less than a day in a bunch of cities and am now fully qualified to rate their coolness.

OP is the most touristy tourist. Probably spent his time in NYC dicking around Times Square and looking for Famous Ray's

I sucked a dick at Guy's American Kitchen and I can tell you about NYC cock.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Jagchosis posted:

Of the OP cities I've lived in Denver, St. Louis, San Francisco, and currently live in Boston. Boston sucks a lot of balls OP what's cool about this poorly planned shithole please advise

edit; oh i see its in the "neither cool nor uncool" but tbh this place is a lot worse than St. Louis which fell squarely in your uncool list

People who have never actually lived in Boston for more than a year severely underestimate how much it sucks.

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

Selim Sivad posted:

Hey guys, I spent less than a day in a bunch of cities and am now fully qualified to rate their coolness.

OP is the most touristy tourist. Probably spent his time in NYC dicking around Times Square and looking for Famous Ray's

Well, what do you think I got wrong?

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

glowing-fish posted:

Zoning Free=Multicultural Mashup.

Is what the article said.

...how do you even explain to uncool people?

Yeah a good amount Houston's sprawl was due to how it didn't have zoning with predictable results.

Don Mega
Nov 26, 2005
San Diego has over 100 microbreweries and top notch burritos. I'm not sure where I would rate it after living here for a year.

the worst thing is
Oct 3, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

glowing-fish posted:

I went from New York to Boston, and after five days in New York, I was kind of used to things being really fast-paced and no-nonsense. When I came to the bus counter (to get a bus ticket to Maine), the two guys behind it were just chatting, and didn't notice me for, 15, 20 seconds. After NYC, that was a bit annoying.

One thing I realized about NYC is that the people there aren't rude...they just show politeness by being really prompt. People in Portland or other parts of the west show politeness by being personal. In Boston, people were neither prompt nor personal. :(

Actually cliquish (edit : an even better word is insular) describes more bostonians than elitist to amend to what I said. It's true people don't feel obligated to be all buddy buddy or to wait on you. If you want something you have to speak up I guess. Its an as little eye contact as possible in public type place. I miss that whenever im out west, out there it feels like even the bus driver has to be my friend. Ive been here too long to defend the place too much, thats also the provincialism. If you dont like it, leave, people think. We aren't comparing ourself to any other city, as far as anyone cares they don't exist. NYC is just a place to go for the weekend occasionally. I don't care about the red sox/yankees thing but that's another story. Ok I just wanted to clarify, carry on

the worst thing is fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Oct 20, 2014

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

I guess hip Miami didn't make any of the lists.

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

Jagchosis posted:

Of the OP cities I've lived in Denver, St. Louis, San Francisco, and currently live in Boston. Boston sucks a lot of balls OP what's cool about this poorly planned shithole please advise

edit; oh i see its in the "neither cool nor uncool" but tbh this place is a lot worse than St. Louis which fell squarely in your uncool list

i would advise just leaving boston entirely

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Fort Collins/Boulder are very nice too even though they aren't mega-cities like the other places on the list.

glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

etalian posted:

I guess hip Miami didn't make any of the lists.

I've never been to Miami, so I didn't know where to put it. It is also a troublesome case, because it is cosmopolitan, multicultural, and a lot of fun.

But it is also in Florida.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

etalian posted:

I guess hip Miami didn't make any of the lists.

I've ended up visiting Miami a bunch and while it has nice aspects it's also kind-of a tourist shithole.

a star war betamax
Sep 17, 2011

by Lowtax
Gary’s Answer
coolest city....Odessa Texas

least coolest city.... oklahoma

Philadelphia
Sep 29, 2014
Philadelphia should be at the top of the list. It's the only American city that has the Liberty Bell. It also has the best sitcoms like Fresh Prince, and It's Always Sunny. Yeah, NYC is really large, but so are certain kinds of tumors. I think when people look back on the United States in a thousand years, they will realize that Philadelphia was really the best city around.

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



Philadelphia posted:

Philadelphia should be at the top of the list. It's the only American city that has the Liberty Bell. It also has the best sitcoms like Fresh Prince, and It's Always Sunny. Yeah, NYC is really large, but so are certain kinds of tumors. I think when people look back on the United States in a thousand years, they will realize that Philadelphia was really the best city around.

why don't you people park your cars like sane adults and then we'll talk

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Philadelphia posted:

Philadelphia should be at the top of the list. It's the only American city that has the Liberty Bell. It also has the best sitcoms like Fresh Prince, and It's Always Sunny. Yeah, NYC is really large, but so are certain kinds of tumors. I think when people look back on the United States in a thousand years, they will realize that Philadelphia was really the best city around.

counter-point:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jMhoGUiIkk

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

I've noticed that Philadelphia seems really dirty and trashy, but is surprisingly erudite, cultured, and respectful; while Boston seems really erudite, cultured, and respectful, but is really just dirty and trashy.

Mons Hubris
Aug 29, 2004

fanci flup :)


Durham is cool but not very big at this time

Robbie Fowler
May 31, 2011
LA is pretty trashy. I found it worse than NYC (garbage on the sidewalk aside).

LA is weird in general, I hated it the first time I went there. I was there in June this year as a stopover before Brazil and I had a much better time this time around, but it still doesn't grab me as a city.

Went to the outlets/venice/santa monica/hollywood and drank a shitload of booze, I heard the museum is pretty kick rear end with the shuttle they got there and I'm sure there's plenty of other things to do - what should I be doing next time?

Robbie Fowler fucked around with this message at 02:52 on Oct 20, 2014

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008

glowing-fish posted:

Over the past month, I took a 30 day, 38-state tour of the US, visiting every region of the country and seeing most of America's big cities. During this trip, I learned a lot of things about America: mostly some areas of America are way more cool than others. From this, I decided to look at a tier system for America's city, coolness wise. There is a top tier of cities that are really cool and people who live in them become cool, just by osmosis. Then there are a host of cities that are not that cool, but that might have some cool parts, and that a cool person will actually remain cool in. Then there are a few benighted American cities that are just totally uncool and sap coolness out of people who visit them.

Using my secret sauce ranking system, I've determined the tiers: please feel free to argue with me.

1. New York City. Being the biggest city would usually count against it, since a certain amount of coolness comes with size. But even given its size, NYC is cooler than it should be. Its diverse, has great arts and culture, there is always something to do, and pretty much every literary or musical movement in America was developed there.

2. Seattle-Portland-Denver. The triad of smallish, modern cities in the West. Some people might think that them being twee/yuppie/white counts against them, and it does, but also they have a marked lack of boring depressing rust belt bullshit to deal with. Also, you can smoke weed in 2 of the 3 and soon in all 3.

3. San Francisco Bay area. Full of techies and yuppies and other self-important people currently, but also historically one of America's wilder cities, and a very diverse place. Setting aside the occasional smugness, this area is cool.

4. New Orleans. Poor, dirty, hot, humid, part of the oppressive, backwards south...but still a cool place to live. No one has ever said that New Orleans lacks character

Places that are neither cool or uncool:

1. Boston: the coolest of the uncool, Boston is an academic center, a pretty nice place, and a literary city, but it lacks that certain something.

2. Chicago: if Chicago was smaller, it would have to be cool, just based on the amount of art and architecture and cultural diversity. But Chicago is America's third or fourth biggest city, so its coolness is just expected.

3. Atlanta: Maybe the coolest city in the South, but that isn't saying much.

4. Minneapolis-St. Paul: Generally a pleasant place to live, with nothing objectionable about it, but a bit too corn fed and wholesome.

5. Every other city in the Midwest: Milwaukee, Indianapolis, Cleveland, Detroit...well, you can tread water there, I guess?

6. Every other city on the East Coast: If you are already in Philadelphia, why not just move to New York? Answer: because you aren't cool.

7. Los Angeles: this one is pretty troublesome. LA is a media center, but its mostly meant to create media for the middlest of middle America. But just based on its size, there is quite a scene there, and it does certainly have diversity. On balance, LA is not particularly cool, though.


Places that will suck out your coolness:

1. Washington, D.C.: a city mostly full of government people. Enough said?

2. Anywhere in Texas: Texas. (exceptions: San Antonio/Austin, which I haven't visited)

3. St. Louis: Pretty much got here after Ferguson

4. Any city in the deep south that isn't Atlanta: Birmingham, Little Rock, Oklahoma City, etc. BORING

5. Phoenix: literally and figuratively America's least cool city.


There are a couple of cities I haven't been to (Miami and San Diego) that I would live help placing, and a few people might hold exception to where I placed some cities, but I think we can come to consensus on this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDZ0G1rhFYg




















glowing-fish
Feb 18, 2013

Keep grinding,
I hope you level up! :)

So Miami is like a New Orleans for uncool people, that becomes so spectacularly tacky that it has some kitsch value?

That would almost be cool, if only it WASN'T IN FLORIDA.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

glowing-fish posted:

So Miami is like a New Orleans for uncool people, that becomes so spectacularly tacky that it has some kitsch value?

That would almost be cool, if only it WASN'T IN FLORIDA.

Bruce Ivins
Aug 7, 2008

I think it's a little unfair to lump Milwaukee in as just another generic midwest city.

Agree with the rest of your list though OP

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
Bahstun is wicked retahded

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy
most american cities are cool, even the uncool ones. there's way more to do on a given night in most mid-sized american cities than european cities of equivalent size while being far cheaper and more diverse.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Omi-Polari posted:

most american cities are cool, even the uncool ones. there's way more to do on a given night in most mid-sized american cities than european cities of equivalent size while being far cheaper and more diverse.

Europe is overrated

:wth:

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy
also austin was a sleepy college town / one-time confederate state capital like baton rouge or columbia that happened to blow up real big. which explains the identity crisis the city is eternally trapped in. it's a cool city. all the cities are cool!

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

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Fallows
Jan 20, 2005

If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwBS6QGsH_4

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