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So I have jury duty tomorrow, and I am not allowed to bring a phone (or my Gameboy Advanced (I called ahead)) into the courthouse. How can I occupy myself when I have to sit in the waiting room for hours?
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Oct 21, 2014 00:30
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| # ? May 10, 2024 13:48 |
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bring a book fuckwit
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Oct 21, 2014 00:30
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Find the blind spot of one of your eyes and spend the entire trial amusing yourself by "decapitating" random people in the courtroom.
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Oct 21, 2014 00:31
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bring a notepad and right down all the posts you plan on making about what sort of sweetener people use in their beverages//sketch the jury so we can see what the neckbeards look like
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Oct 21, 2014 00:33
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Fetus Tree posted:bring a notepad and right down all the posts you plan on making about what sort of sweetener people use in their beverages//sketch the jury so we can see what the neckbeards look like This is a good idea.
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Oct 21, 2014 00:36
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jerk off
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Oct 21, 2014 00:36
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jerk off but keep your hand and dick inside your pants so people cant see 
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Oct 21, 2014 00:36
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if people ask what youre doing just say youre scratching your dick
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Oct 21, 2014 00:38
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lol if you actually go to jury duty
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Oct 21, 2014 00:38
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BombiTheZombie posted:lol if you actually go to jury duty But I may never again have the chance to incarcerate a minority.
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Oct 21, 2014 00:39
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chill out and think of america op
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Oct 21, 2014 00:40
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a hole-y ghost posted:if people ask what youre doing just say youre scratching your dick when they ask you take your hand out of your pants, put it on their shoulder and explain that you have some kind of itchy rash on your dick
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Oct 21, 2014 00:40
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before you get out of your car dip your left hand in a jar of peanut butter. try to get all the peanut butter off using only your right hand without getting your right hand dirty.
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Oct 21, 2014 00:40
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I got a jury summons back when I was like 19 (I'm 30 now) and I just threw it away because I had a vacation planned for the time they wanted me. They sent me another notice a couple months later in scary red lettering saying that I would go to jail if I didn't respond to this one but I threw that one away too and they just stopped sending them after that. My friends tell me there's probably an arrest warrant out for me but I've gotten like 3 speeding tickets since then and nothing ever happened.
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Oct 21, 2014 00:42
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Remember to jury nullify if the case has anything to do with drugs
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Oct 21, 2014 00:42
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Beef Turret posted:Remember to jury nullify if the case has anything to do with drugs
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Oct 21, 2014 00:42
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Moridin920 posted:bring a book fuckwit
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Oct 21, 2014 00:42
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You can't be using it in the court room but you'll be fine as long as you don't cause a disruption while waiting.
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Oct 21, 2014 00:43
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If I show the judge a copy of this thread do you think he or she will let me just go home?
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Oct 21, 2014 00:43
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wear a sleepmask and then open up your shirt and start rubbing your nipples and if someone complains say sorry i cant see what im doing
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Oct 21, 2014 00:43
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Beef Turret posted:Remember to jury nullify
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Oct 21, 2014 00:46
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I had jury duty this morning, they let me keep my phone and tablet to take pictures of other fat jurors in the waiting room. There was also coffee and tea. And lots of magazines.
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Oct 21, 2014 00:48
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bring your gat
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Oct 21, 2014 00:50
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Sneak your phone in anyway
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Oct 21, 2014 00:51
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All my books are tablet books
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Oct 21, 2014 00:51
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gently caress the police
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Oct 21, 2014 00:51
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insert a metal rod up your rear end and just keep walking back and forth in the metal detector even after they tell you to just go through
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Oct 21, 2014 00:51
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Devils Affricate posted:I got a jury summons back when I was like 19 (I'm 30 now) and I just threw it away because I had a vacation planned for the time they wanted me. They sent me another notice a couple months later in scary red lettering saying that I would go to jail if I didn't respond to this one but I threw that one away too and they just stopped sending them after that. My friends tell me there's probably an arrest warrant out for me but I've gotten like 3 speeding tickets since then and nothing ever happened. I got called in for jury duty once and I actually went to the courthouse, but I couldn't figure out were I was supposed to go so I said gently caress it and went home. Never got called in again!
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Oct 21, 2014 00:53
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When I went to jury duty I was allowed to bring my phone so I livejournaled it. Sorry for ruining it for you OP. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3666789&highlight=
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Oct 21, 2014 00:53
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Moridin920 posted:bring a book fuckwit
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Oct 21, 2014 00:53
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Oh Hell No posted:Find the blind spot of one of your eyes and spend the entire trial amusing yourself by "decapitating" random people in the courtroom. Hold up, what is this? I know about that floating finger thing you can do when you cross your eyes, but this decapitation thing it sounds cool as hell!
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Oct 21, 2014 00:54
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loudly denounce admiralty courts
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Oct 21, 2014 00:54
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protip - when you go there and they screen you, start talking about how drug charges are bullshit, prisons are overpopulated, black men are overrepresented in incarceration rates, the prison-industrial complex is ridiculous, etc, and then you won't have jury duty anymore
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Oct 21, 2014 01:03
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alternatively, truthfully say that you think the police are more likely to lie about [insert case that affects their arrest rates/pay/OT] because they are the police and it's your job. this doesn't always work, but should keep you out of some abomination of a murder case.
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Oct 21, 2014 01:06
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Two words to say a few times: Jury Nullification.
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Oct 21, 2014 01:09
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I had jury duty with this today I think it might be a goon.
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Oct 21, 2014 01:11
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he just ate willy wonkas blueberry gum dont hate
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Oct 21, 2014 01:12
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do the george carlin thing
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Oct 21, 2014 01:13
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The key to surviving jury duty is simply not going, telling your boss you are, and having a freebie day off.
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Oct 21, 2014 01:14
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| # ? May 10, 2024 13:48 |
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If you want to get out of Jury Duty just say you can't wait to get another minority thrown in jail.
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Oct 21, 2014 01:15
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