Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Split Pea Superman
Dec 16, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
According to some dude at gawker

quote:

If you see a man sporting permanent stubble, it is appropriate to assume that he has character flaws that are very grave.

I don't come to smear anyone. I don't come to spread any false teachings. I come only to share with the general public a fact which I have discovered. The passage of time and the concomitant accumulation of life experience have only served to strengthen my resolve on the truth of this point.

Men's facial hair can take three basic forms. You can be clean shaven. That's fine. You can have stubble, meaning you haven't shaven for a little while and a little bit of visible hair is growing in. That's fine. Or you can have well-defined facial hair—beard, mustache, etc. That's fine.

All of these are fine. By "fine," I mean that they are not in and of themselves indicative of moral character. Yes, Stalin had a mustache—but so do some nice guys, too. You never know.

There is, however, one form of facial hair that is indicative of an underlying character flaw. That look is permanent stubble. As you can deduce, stubble is naturally a temporary state. It is the state between shaving, and having a beard. If someone has permanent stubble, that means that they are taking steps to groom and cultivate their stubble, keeping it permanently at a short length, so that it never makes the transition to beard, nor to a straightforward clean-shaven face. They are working for that stubble.

They are so thirsty.

Why do we find stubble to be an appealing look? Because it carries a not-so-subtle devil-may-care connotation. Stubble is the look of the man too engaged with important life tasks to take time out to shave—and too self-assured to care that he hasn't shaved. Stubble is, subconsciously, the bad boy look. This man, with his stubble: he doesn't have time for your worldly grooming rules. He couldn't shave today—he was up too late last night doing things. Or doing people.

To have stubble implies that one did shave within the past few days, at least. Unless you have caught someone in the relatively rare act of growing a permanent beard, stubble implies that you are dealing with a man who does, in fact, shave, but who has just not done so lately. "Too busy. Too cool. Too loving rock star to shave today. I am a devil, and the devil may care," says stubble. It sends a message, subconscious or not, that the man in question is free from any social mandate to shave. His face does not work for the man. His face, and its stubble, is his outward sign of his inner free spirit.

Stubble is supposed to be a byproduct of an underlying lifestyle that some find attractive. It is a transitory state in the ongoing drama of a man who doesn't give a gently caress about society's facial hair grooming expectations.

Now consider the man who grooms his stubble. He is living a lie. He wants to experience the social benefits of the non-caring attitude that stubble conveys, while actually caring very much. He is, in his own way, just as fake as the middle-aged man who buys a leather jacket and a motorcycle to appear tough, or the insecure man who gets silicone muscle implants to appear strong. He does not care for authenticity; he cares only for appearance. His image is not grounded in truth. He is a man who cares less for honesty than he does for his own self-dealing. He may appear, in all ways, to be a fine person. But he is not to be trusted.

Ignore this advice at your own peril.



I use a beard trimmer once a week rather than deal with shaving. I'm also a piece of poo poo, but I can't go broadcasting that to the world or else people won't make the emotional investment required for me to ruin their life.

Does this dude just have embarrassingly patchy stubble? or do I need to grow some ridiculous beard to hide my complete lack of character?

Split Pea Superman fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Oct 21, 2014

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

solaranus posted:

According to some dude at gawker


I use a beard trimmer once a week rather than deal with shaving. I'm also a piece of poo poo, but I can't go broadcasting that to the world or else people won't make the emotional investment required for me to ruin their life.

Does this dude just have embarrassingly patchy stubble? or do I need to grow some ridiculous beard to hide my complete lack of character?

nice try op but im never voluntarily clickign on a gawker link

as a firstpost courtesy if you copy-paste the article i will skim it

Berious
Nov 13, 2005
I think the whole clean shaven = professional thing was started by dudes embarrassed by their lovely patchy facial hair.

Split Pea Superman
Dec 16, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

Mange Mite posted:

nice try op but im never voluntarily clickign on a gawker link

as a firstpost courtesy if you copy-paste the article i will skim it

What's proper form these days? Quote the whole article?

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

solaranus posted:

According to some dude at gawker

Much like most websites, Gawker is run by sheltered trust fund babies who are so out of touch with the real world that they might as well be aliens from another planet

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
Luckily mt stubble isn't carefully groomed at all. It just is what it is.

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

I think this dude doesn't mean just like running a beard trimmer over your face at number 2 or whatever, he is talking about dudes who have like very carefully shaped/crafted stubble that follows straight lines along the jaw and is yeah kind of a douchebag look i guess

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.
I rock the Jason Statham.

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


op if your like me and just use clippers, its stubble but isnt carefully groomed at all

but i do clip every other day or if im doing something somewhat important because any longer than stubble it looks like garbage on me

what im saying is you dont apply, i think its just if people get those dumb rear end chin straps or clean shave their neck or whatever

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

like think of the look that they are mocking in the "dick in a box" video that is what this article is talking about

Ghaz
Nov 19, 2004

is it just me or is gawker really knocking them out of the park lately? thanks

Split Pea Superman
Dec 16, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
He does kinda qualify it as "Carefully Groomed", but the article says:

quote:

That look is permanent stubble. As you can deduce, stubble is naturally a temporary state. It is the state between shaving, and having a beard. If someone has permanent stubble, that means that they are taking steps to groom and cultivate their stubble, keeping it permanently at a short length, so that it never makes the transition to beard, nor to a straightforward clean-shaven face. They are working for that stubble.

Which is kinda what using a beard trimmer every now and then is.

This is really distressing guys, whats the best way to hide my glaring character flaws with grooming?

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

well i only read the first paragraph and dont plan on reading any more, i will say there is, somewhere, a line between "stubble" and a "short beard" and you know what i dont care enough to finish whatever i was saying about that

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


mask your shortcomings with excessive drug use and meaningless sex

the sex can be with your hand

scuba school sucks
Aug 30, 2012

The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark
Man, Gawker is just a horrible low-rent tabloid garbage clickbait pile of bullshit lately. I have low moral character and stubble, but one is not a reflection of the other. I don't shave but once a week because I'm a lazy slob.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
i used to not care about my appearance and grooming, then i became an adult

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
stubble can be sexy and leave sexy red marks in sexy places so

I am not a book
Mar 9, 2013
If you go to a strip club and you have not shaved against the grain, your goonbeard will not make the strippers want to put their boobies in your face.

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


Mange Mite posted:

i used to not care about my appearance and grooming, then i became an adult

if theres one thing middle aged men are known for its caring about appearance

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

if theres one thing middle aged men are known for its caring about appearance

well yes actually, outside of the slob stereotype in sitcoms and commercials, most functional middle aged men do indeed care about their appearance

super macho dude
Aug 9, 2014


I am a piece of poo poo with low moral standing. :reject:

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

super macho dude posted:

I am a piece of poo poo with low moral standing. :reject:

you post here so thats kind of a given

A. Beaverhausen
Nov 11, 2008

by R. Guyovich
I have a permanent 5 o' clock shadow. :smug: Genetics fuckers.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib
a girl on tinder wanted me to give her beard burn, i was like that's kinda weird but whatev we're young, so i said 'uh maybe if we can do dinner first' and she stopped talking to me

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
I get stubble by 5pm everyday this guy is full of poo poo because I shave every single god drat day how do I leave a comment

YourHealthyColon
Nov 21, 2013

Berious posted:

I think the whole clean shaven = professional thing was started by dudes embarrassed by their lovely patchy facial hair.

i think it was appropriated from military dress like a surprising amount of fashion is. see also, the necktie

Baba Ganoush
Oct 12, 2014
Dinosaur Gum

YourHealthyColon posted:

i think it was appropriated from military dress like a surprising amount of fashion is. see also, the necktie

Beards, another casualty of the Great Wars

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

carefully groomed pubic stubble

rasp

rasp

rasp

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

I look real handsome with stubble but my gf complains when she sits on my face that her stupid baby vagina gets all scratched :qq:

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

YourHealthyColon posted:

i think it was appropriated from military dress like a surprising amount of fashion is. see also, the necktie

also women seem to overwhelmingly prefer it, ive seen it interpreted as a sign of women's growing power in society

BigBoss
Jan 26, 2012

by Lowtax

Earwicker posted:

well yes actually, outside of the slob stereotype in sitcoms and commercials, most functional middle aged men do indeed care about their appearance

that might be true in whatever gay fake ghost town you live in but not in real life

Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We
i'd say that if someone looks goony it's pretty safe to assume they have major character flaws in general, OP

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

A. Beaverhausen posted:

I have a permanent 5 o' clock shadow. :smug: Genetics fuckers.

same. stubble is good. i'm also of low moral :smugdog:

LifeSizePotato
Mar 3, 2005

i wish i could look like this guy of high moral character

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

Xaris posted:

i'm also of low moral

hmm


hmmmm

alt spotted

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

i agree with that

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

solaranus posted:

I use a beard trimmer once a week rather than deal with shaving. I'm also a piece of poo poo, but I can't go broadcasting that to the world or else people won't make the emotional investment required for me to ruin their life.
i too use a beard trimmer once a week, check your reading comprehension, hes talking about dudes curating the "didnt shave this morning" look rather than what me and you do which is "dont give a poo poo enough to shave every day" look. the tool, in this case a beard trimmer, is negligible. i dont like wet shaving as im a lazy gently caress and the beard trimmer is so easy.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

scalded schlong posted:

hmm


hmmmm

alt spotted

took me awhile to get it... respect goonsire :golfclap:

Whirlwind Jones
Apr 13, 2013

by Lowtax
I agree with the article in the OP even though it is likely written ironically.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
are you saying this guy:



is a shady person/douchebag? wow

  • Locked thread